How is it that when you are about to leave from visitation that you can be so happy that you got to spend a little time with your loved one but at the same time be so sad that you have to leave them behind?Sure messes with your heart and emotions.You dont want to look sad to your loved one and your smile tries hard to hide the pain.Steve&kids

I'm so glad that I can visit Billy as often as I can. But I'm sad at the same time because I can't take him home with me. I always make sure that I leave before they take him out because watching him be escorted out, breaks my heart.

I saw them take him one time and I cried and cried when I left. I had never felt so alone. I go home and look forward to seeing him again, and count the days to where he'll be home for good.

I definitely still have very mixed emotions after every visit.... although I think that over time I tend to cry a little less.... I have actually been able to walk away a few times without crying... at least not until that night when I go to bed (for some reason that is the worst time for me....) My first few visits, I had to cry in the parking lot for like a half an hour before I could stop even enough to see to drive!! Now I find myself with even a wider range of emotions... Happy to have seen him, at peace to know he's ok.... sad to leave him... but also at times really angry at the restrictions that seem so unfair (it bothers me that JD will have to go almost three years with no human contact at all... I can't imagine going three years without a hug!!! I think that alone would drive me insane...)
I too just try to survive by living one visit to the next and counting the days til he comes home....

I am the same way JD.. I am happy to see him and seem to cry less and less after a visit.. I am just blessed to see him and thankful to know that he is ok.. It is hard to let go and leave but I am trying to get better at it.. I guess I can do it cuz I know that I will be back.. I know it is hard for him too... He says he gets in a funk after I leave.. So I guess we feel the same way after the visit..

I AGREE WITH WHAT EVERYONE HAS SAID HERE-VISITING IS BITTER-SWEET BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO LEAVE. WHAT IS ALSO REALLY HARD FOR ME IS TIMES LIKE WHEN MY DAUGHTER ALAYNA GRADUATED FROM PRESCHOOL AND HE WAS NOT HERE TO SEE IT. THOSE ARE TIMES YOU CAN NEVER GET BACK-OR EVEN SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS GOING TO THE PARK AND HE'S NOT WITH US. EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE FUN, THERE IS A BIG PIECE MISSING OUT OF EVERYTHING WE DO.

Well I have the same emotions as all of you guys!! Although I do still cry when I leave EJ. I think it's because I can't get to see him as much as I would like to. I don't have a car & he is like 5 hours away from me. When I did get to see him over the memorial day weekend that was our first visit in like 7 months!! It was like meeting him for the first time all over again! I know when I left him on Sunday night I cried like a baby...my friend had to calm me down before we could leave the parking lot!
I can only hope now that he will be transferred to the closer to "home" prison very soon so I will be able to see him more!

All I have ever wanted to do when leaving him was fold him up in my pocket & take him home w/me!! I know that's not possible & he will be home, but I sometimes wish I could do it...

sherri you are so right no matter what you do there is a piece missing it never feels quite right..

The best and worst part of the week, for sure..

It is so depressing to me. I think about the visit during the entire 45-minute drive home. Sometimes I wish I can just take him with me. The only thing keeping him from me is a set of spiked, electric fences.