Ok as most of you already know me and Lee have offically called it off,We're suppose to go next week to start the divorce process.Ok well I've started back talking to this guy that I've dated on and off for about 14 yrs.We never made any commitments to each other and now I just want to make sure I'm not wasting my time again!!!Each time we were seeing each other it was more of a sexual thing.We never really made plans on when we would see each other or be together,and this time we're making plans on when we can see each other and spend time doing things.The only times we've ever started seeing each other I've just split up with somebody.So I've already ask him if this will go any furter that just a sexual thing as it usually is or will it possible lead to more.His response is I have trust issues with you because we will be talking and what not and then the next thing I know you stop calling and I find out your in a relationship with somebody else.I don't know I'm just the type of person that wants to be in a relationship not just fooling around.So when I ask him where this might go he says we'll just have to see.He works at a club as a bouncer part time and he's very flirtatious,well last night me and a couple of friends showed up there and he more or less acted like I wasn't even there.There was girls hanging all over him and of course it's not like he's gonna tell them not too.So finally I told him we were going somewhere else.He walked outside and gave me a hug and told me to call he today,so I did(three times)and left him a message to call me and he still hasn't called me back yet.And it's almost time for him to go back to work!!It all boils down to this am I wasting my time with this guy...should I just forget about him and move on?I really don't fell like going through anymore bullshit at this point in time.....Please give me some advice on this one y'all.

This guy sounds as if he is a player and out for whatever is best for himself. Maybe you are getting into something to quick. Your heart could not possibly have time to heal from your last relationship with Lee.
Maybe you should just date or hang out with your friends and let things happen naturally, mister right is out there somewhere and sometimes he may be right in front of you, I guess a lot depends on what your really looking for so just be honest with yourself so you don't get hurt again.

This guy is a player and no future can you see with him. So,you will need to find someone else later on but not right now especially going to get a divorce. I have gone thru this with my son his wife left him 3 years ago and shortly took up with another man now she lives with him along with the 2 children and she has never got a divorce. Good luck...mother1952

I think you need to leave this guy alone, becsuse he is just out there for himself ,a nd does not care about you feelings.I would just go out and have fun and be by myself for awhile and have some me time....You have been through alot lately with Lee.I know you are lonely but you don't to be with someone for rebound purposes.If you need to talk just pm me i will be more and gladly to talk to you.I hope you have a good day

This guy is a bouncer at a club??? That tells me he is a player...I have a few friends that bounce at clubs and they are players...girls just throw themselves at them....you have been thru so much with Lee, you need some time for yourself. If you do stay with this guy it is just a rebound and most rebound relationships don't work. We are here if you need us..

Yeah he's a bouncer,we've been on and off for about 14yrs.And he's a really good looking guy...and from what I saw the girls at the club think he looks just as good as I think he does.But I talked to him yesterday and we decided not to try to go anywhere with this.Me and Lee have talked and decided to give our marriage another try and he moved back home!!!I can only hope and pray me and him can work out our problems.

yeah i think you should leave this bouncer alone it's clear that he just wants to play the field but is trying to make you think it's your fault that he doesn't want to commit. you don't need any mind games or manipulators and that's exactly what he's trying to do. it seems like he was cool with just having sex but now that you want more he wants to go M.I.A. not a good look. you don't want anyone that can't be straight forward with you and you definitely don't want a rebound relationship it won't work. But i'm happy for you and lee trying to work things out.Good luck!

In my opinion he sounds like he's not ready for anything serious.If you went to the club and he acted as if you weren't there that said it all.And if he didn't return your phone call that doesn't seem good either personally I wouldn't waste my time but that's just me

Well when I talked to him I questioned the acting like I wasn't there and the not returning the calls...his response was Well you were sitting over in the corner and I have to be up toward the front so I can see whats going on.He said you could have came up there with me,but you didn't.And as for the phone calls he said he was helping a friend move.I do know that bouncers do have to stay around the front,cause my dad was a bouncer yrs.ago and my mom would always stay around the front door with him.And I wouldn't really have called it a rebound relationship...after all it's been 14 yrs. on and off.But it really doesn't matter,I don't guess..since me and him decided to just let it be.But I don't think Lee is what I really want either,it's just not the same love that I use to have for him.He really hurt me with all the things he's done to me.