How Does Domestic Violence Affect Children?
Children are the silent victims of domestic violence. Their voices may not be heard and their pain often goes unnoticed. Every child from a violent home is abused. Witnessing the two most important people in their life hurting and being hurt damages the core of the child's emotional being. The following is a partial list of the ramifications and consequences for children living with and witnessing domestic abuse:
Pre-Natal

Increased miscarriages due to increased beatings and/or survivor's stress.
Poor health due to survivor’s stress and lack of proper nutrition.Infants
Crying and irritability
Sleep disturbances
Digestive problems
Failure to thriveToddlers/Preschoolers
More aggressive than other children
More withdrawn than other children
Impaired cognitive abilities
Delays in verbal development
Poor motor skill abilities
General fearfulness, anxiety
Stomachaches, nightmares
Lack of bowel and bladder control over 3 years old
Lack of confidence to begin new tasksSchool Age
Poor grades or in special classes
Failure of one or more grade levels
Poor social skills
Low self-esteem
General aggressiveness
Violent outbursts of anger
Bullying
Withdrawn, dependent
Bedwetting or nightmares
Digestive problems, ulcers
HeadachesTeenagers
Poor grades, fails or quits school
Low self-esteem
Refuses to bring friends home
Stays away from home
Feels responsible for taking care of home and adult survivor
Runs away from home
Violent outbursts of anger, destroys property, abuses pets
Poor judgment, irresponsible decision making
Unable to communicate feelings
Immaturity
Withdrawn, few friends
Bedwetting or nightmares
Ulcers, digestive problems
Severe acne
Violent with dating partners
Joining in on beatings of adult survivor
Tries to protect an adult survivor

Children and Domestic violence (http://www.casa-stpete.org/recognizingviolence.htm#4)

Thanks for posting this, i feel that some people think that it only affects themselves and really it affects the children even more than the adult. I hope that this touches the core of people who chose to stay in an abusive relationship "for the kids". Thanks again--great information.

IV. Possible Signs and Symptoms of Domestic Violence in Children and Adolescents

More than half of the school-age children in domestic violence shelters show clinical levels of anxiety or posttraumatic stress disorder (Graham-Bermann, 1994). Without treatment, these children are at significant risk for delinquency, substance abuse, school drop-out, and difficulties in their own relationships.
Children may exhibit a wide range of reactions to exposure to violence in their home. Younger children (e.g., preschool and kindergarten) oftentimes, do not understand the meaning of the abuse they observe and tend to believe that they "must have done something wrong." Self-blame can precipitate feelings of guilt, worry, and anxiety. It is important to consider that children, especially younger children, typically do not have the ability to adequately express their feelings verbally. Consequently, the manifestation of these emotions are often behavioral. Children may become withdrawn, non-verbal, and exhibit regressed behaviors such as clinging and whining. Eating and sleeping difficulty, concentration problems, generalized anxiety, and physical complaints (e.g., headaches) are all common.
Unlike younger children, the pre-adolescent child typically has greater ability to externalize negative emotions (i.e., to verbalize). In addition to symptoms commonly seen with childhood anxiety (e.g., sleep problems, eating disturbance, nightmares), victims within this age group may show a loss of interest in social activities, low self-concept, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, rebelliousness and oppositional-defiant behavior in the school setting. It is also common to observe temper tantrums, irritability, frequent fighting at school or between siblings, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively, threatening of peers or siblings with violence (e.g., "give me a pen or I will smack you"), and attempts to gain attention through hitting, kicking, or choking peers and/or family members. Incidentally, girls are more likely to exhibit withdrawal and unfortunately, run the risk of being "missed" as a child in need of support.
Adolescents are at risk of academic failure, school drop-out, delinquency, and substance abuse. Some investigators have suggested that a history of family violence or abuse is the most significant difference between delinquent and non delinquent youth. An estimated 1/5 to 1/3 of all teenagers who are involved in dating relationships are regularly abusing or being abused by their partners verbally, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and/or physically (SASS, 1996). Between 30% and 50% of dating relationships can exhibit the same cycle of escalating violence as marital relationships (SASS, 1996).

V. Helping Children and Adolescents Exposed to Domestic Violence

For some children and adolescents, questions about home life may be difficult to answer, especially if the individual has been "warned" or threatened by a family member to refrain from "talking to strangers" about events that have taken place in the family. Referrals to the appropriate school personnel could be the first step in assisting the child or teen in need of support. When there is suggestion of domestic violence with a student, consider involving the school psychologist, social worker, guidance counselor and/or a school administrator (when indicated). Although the circumstances surrounding each case may vary, suspicion of child abuse is required to be reported to the local child protection agency by teachers and other school personnel. In some cases, a contact with the local police department may also be necessary. When in doubt, consult with school team members.
If the child expresses a desire to talk, provide them with an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. In addition to talking, they may be also encouraged to write in a journal, draw, or paint; these are all viable means for facilitating expression in younger children. Adolescents are typically more abstract in their thinking and generally have better developed verbal abilities than younger children. It could be helpful for adults who work with teenagers to encourage them to talk about their concerns without insisting on this expression. Listening in a warm, non-judgmental, and genuine manner is often comforting for victims and may be an important first step in their seeking further support. When appropriate, individual and/or group counseling should be considered at school if the individual is amenable. Referrals for counseling (e.g., family counseling) outside of the school should be made to the family as well. Providing a list of names and phone numbers to contact in case of a serious crisis can be helpful.

For more information please read further (http://www.aaets.org/article8.htm)

The Effects of Domestic Violence
on Children
In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are at high risk for suffering physical abuse themselves. Regardless of whether children are physically abused, the emotional effects of witnessing domestic violence are very similar to the psychological trauma of being a victim of child abuse. Each year, an estimated minimum of 3.3 million children witness domestic violence.

Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are physically abused or seriously neglected at a rate 1500% higher than the national average in the general population.

Research results suggest that battering is the single most common factor among mothers of abused children.

A major study of more than 900 children at battered women's shelters found that nearly 70% of the children were themselves victims of physical abuse or neglect. Nearly half of the children had been physically or sexually abused. Five percent had been hospitalized due to the abuse. However, only 20% had been identified and served by Child Protective Services prior to coming to the shelter. The same study found that it was the male batterer who most often abused the children, and only in a few instances was it the mother alone.

Lenore Walker's 1984 study found that mothers were 8 times more likely to hurt their children when they were being battered than when they were safe from violence.

Although child abuse and neglect are strongly linked to domestic violence, child protection organizations have paid little attention to the concurrence of the two problems. For example, in 1984, only 15 states participating in the American Humane Association's National Study of Child Abuse and Neglect collected data on the mother's abuse. In 1985, this number dropped to 6.

Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may "indirectly" receive injuries. They may be hurt when household items are thrown or weapons are used. Infants may be injured if being held by the mother when the batterer strikes out.

Older children may be hurt while trying to protect their mother.

Children from violent homes have higher risks of alcohol/drug abuse and juvenile delinquency.

Approximately 90% of children are aware of the violence directed at their mother.

Children are present in 41-55% of homes where police intervene in domestic violence calls.

The vast majority of abused women who use shelter services bring their children. In one study, 72% of the women brought children to the shelter; 21% were accompanied by three or more children.

Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may experience cognitive or language problems, developmental delay, stress-related physical ailments (such as headaches, ulcers, and rashes), and hearing and speech problems.

Many children in homes where domestic violence occurs have difficulties in school, including problems with concentration, poor academic performance, difficulty with peer interactions, and more absences from school.

Approximately 15 states have passed legislation recognizing that domestic violence should affect child custody hearings.

Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. There is no evidence, however, that girls who witness their mothers' abuse have a higher risk of being battered as adults.

Some of the emotional effects of domestic violence on children include:


Taking responsibility for the abuse.

Constant anxiety (that another beating will occur) and stress-related disorders.

Guilt for not being able to stop the abuse or for loving the abuser.

Fear of abandonment.

Social isolation and difficulty interacting with peers and adults.

Low self-esteem.

For more information (http://www.letswrap.com/dvinfo/kids.htm)

Children and Domestic Violence: A Bulletin For Professionals
Author(s): Child Welfare Information Gateway
Year Published: 2003
Scope of the Problem
Domestic violence is a devastating social problem that impacts every segment of the population. While system responses are primarily targeted toward adult victims of abuse, increased attention is now being focused on the children who witness domestic violence. Studies estimate that 10 to 20 percent of children are at risk for exposure to domestic violence (Carlson, 2000). These findings translate into approximately 3.3 to 10 million children who witness the abuse of a parent or adult caregiver each year (Carlson, 1984; Straus and Gelles, 1990). Research also indicates children exposed to domestic violence are at an increased risk of being abused or neglected. A majority of studies reveal there are adult and child victims in 30 to 60 percent of families experiencing domestic violence (Appel and Holden, 1998; Edleson, 1999; Jaffe and Wolfe, 1990).
Impact of Domestic Violence on Children
Children who live with domestic violence face increased risks: the risk of exposure to traumatic events, the risk of neglect, the risk of being directly abused, and the risk of losing one or both of their parents. All of these may lead to negative outcomes for children and may affect their well-being, safety, and stability (Carlson, 2000; Edleson, 1999; Rossman, 2001). Childhood problems associated with exposure to domestic violence fall into three primary categories:

Behavioral, social, and emotional problems. Higher levels of aggression, anger, hostility, oppositional behavior, and disobedience; fear, anxiety, withdrawal, and depression; poor peer, sibling, and social relationships; and low self-esteem.
Cognitive and attitudinal problems. Lower cognitive functioning, poor school performance, lack of conflict resolution skills, limited problem solving skills, pro-violence attitudes, and belief in rigid gender stereotypes and male privilege.
Long-term problems. Higher levels of adult depression and trauma symptoms and increased tolerance for and use of violence in adult relationships.Children's risk levels and reactions to domestic violence exist on a continuum where some children demonstrate enormous resiliency while others show signs of significant maladaptive adjustment (Carlson, 2000; Edleson, 1999; Hughes, Graham-Bermann & Gruber, 2001). Protective factors, such as social competence, intelligence, high self-esteem, outgoing temperament, strong sibling and peer relationships, and a supportive relationship with an adult, can help protect children from the adverse affects of exposure to domestic violence.
Comprehensive assessment regarding the protective factors of children and the effects of domestic violence can inform decision-making regarding the types of services and interventions needed for children living with violence. Additional assessment factors that influence the impact of domestic violence on children include:

Nature of the violence. Children who witness frequent and severe forms of violence or fail to observe their caretakers resolving conflict may undergo more distress than children who witness fewer incidences of physical violence and experience positive interactions between their caregivers.
Coping strategies and skills. Children with poor coping skills are more likely to experience problems than children with strong coping skills and supportive social networks.
Age of the child. Younger children appear to exhibit higher levels of emotional and psychological distress than older children. Age-related differences might result from older children's more fully developed cognitive abilities to understand the violence and select various coping strategies to alleviate upsetting symptoms.
Elapsed time since exposure. Children often have heightened levels of anxiety and fear immediately after a violent event. Fewer observable effects are seen in children as more time passes after the violent event.
Gender. In general, boys exhibit more "externalized behaviors" (e.g., aggression or acting out) while girls exhibit more "internalized" behaviors" (e.g., withdrawal or depression).
Presence of child physical or sexual abuse. Children who witness domestic violence and are physically abused are at risk for increased levels of emotional and psychological maladjustment than children who only witness violence and are not abused (Carlson, 2000; Edleson, 1999; Hughes et al, 2001).Implications on Practice
Since children respond differently to domestic violence, professionals are cautioned against assuming that witnessing domestic violence constitutes child maltreatment or child protective services intervention (Aron & Olson, 1997; Beeman, Hagemeister & Edelson, 1999; Carter & Schechter, 1997; Findlater & Kelly, 1999; Spears, 200; Whitney and Davis, 1999). Some States are considering legislation that broadens the definition of child neglect to include children who witness domestic violence. Expanding the legal definition of child maltreatment, however, may not always be the most effective method to address the needs of these children. Communities can better serve families by allocating resources that build partnerships between service providers, child protective services, and the array of informal and formal systems that offer a continuum of services based upon the level of risk present (Carter and Schechter, 1997; Edleson, 1999; Spears, 2000).
Increased awareness regarding the co-occurrence of domestic violence and child abuse compelled child welfare and domestic violence programs to re-evaluate their services and interventions with families experiencing both forms of violence. Although adult and child victims often are found in the same families, child welfare and domestic violence programs historically responded separately to victims. The divergent responses are largely due to differences in each system's development, philosophy, mandate, policies, and practices (Aaron and Olson, 1997; Beeman, Hagemeister and Edleson, 1999; Carter and Schechter, 1997; Findlater and Kelly, 1999; Spears, 2000; Whitney and Davis, 1999). For example, some child welfare advocates have charged domestic violence service providers with discounting the safety needs of children by focusing solely on the adult victim. Conversely, some domestic violence advocates accuse child protective services caseworkers of "revictimizing" adult victims by blaming them for the violence, removing their children and charging them with "failure to protect". Despite these differences, child welfare advocates and service providers share areas of common ground that can bridge the gap between them, including:

Ending violence against adults and children.
Ensuring children's safety.
Protecting adult victims so their children are not harmed by the violence.
Promoting parents' strengths.
Deferring child protection services intervention, if possible, and referring adult victims and children to community based services.A number of national, State, and local initiatives are demonstrating that a collective ownership and intolerance for abuse against adults and children can form the foundation of a solid, coordinated, and comprehensive approach to ending child abuse and domestic violence.
Examples of promising practice approaches include:

Co-locating domestic violence advocates in child welfare offices for case consultation and supportive services.
Developing cross-system protocols and partnerships to ensure coordinated services and responses to families.
Instituting family court models that address overlapping domestic violence and child abuse cases.
Cross training domestic violence and child welfare advocates.
Creating domestic violence units in child welfare agencies.
The Temporary Assistance for Needy Families Program provides funding, services, exceptions from work requirements, and other waivers, under the Family Violence Option, for families experiencing domestic violence.Institutional and societal changes can only begin when an expansive network of service providers integrate their expertise, resources, and services to eliminate domestic violence in their communities. Thus, child welfare and domestic violence service providers can collaborate to achieve a shared goal of freeing victims from violence and working to prevent future violence.
Resources for Further Information

WEBSITES
The Link Research Project: Understanding the Link Between Child Maltreatment and Woman Battering

www.mincava.umn.edu/link (http://www.mincava.umn.edu/link)
Provides up-to-date information on current research, practice, and promising intervention models with families experiencing domestic violence and child abuse and neglect.

Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Child Protection and Custody
www.ncjfcj.org/dept/fvd/ (http://www.childwelfare.gov/survey/disclaimerAskme.cfm?target=http%3A//www.ncjfcj.org/dept/fvd/&referrer=http%3A//www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm)
Comprehensive publications and technical assistance to the fields of domestic violence, child protection, and custody regarding policy and practice issues inherent in work with children exposed to domestic violence.

Child Witness to Violence Project
www.childwitnesstoviolence.org (http://www.childwelfare.gov/survey/disclaimerAskme.cfm?target=http%3A//www.childwitnesstoviolence.org/&referrer=http%3A//www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm)
Offers general information about the effects of domestic violence on children, statistics, and the Report on Violence and Children.

The "Greenbook" Federal Initiative
www.thegreenbook.info (http://www.childwelfare.gov/survey/disclaimerAskme.cfm?target=http%3A//www.thegreenbook.info/&referrer=http%3A//www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm)
Provides resources and information regarding the six federally funded communities implementing the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges guidelines, Effective Intervention in Domestic Violence & Child Maltreatment Cases: Guidelines for Policy and Practice.

For more information Please read further (http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm)

It is the mission of the National Center for Children Exposed to Violence (NCCEV) to increase the capacity of individuals and communities to reduce the incidence and impact of violence on children and families; to train and support the professionals who provide intervention and treatment to children and families affected by violence; and, to increase professional and public awareness of the effects of violence on children, families, communities and society.

For more information please read (http://www.nccev.org/)

thanks, this is surely a lot of information.. i am still going through it..
but what happens when the child has passed through and become a adult??

jonaterre - it depends on so many things - the kind of abuse, the length of time it happened, any counseling that was gone through, injuries and on and on. Very often it makes the kids as "selfish" as the abusers (for selfish you can read self-protective and not letting the feelings of others be important). When they become adults they have a terrible time figuring out boundaries, because they saw them violated allllll the time. They tend to become very passive or very abusive most of the time, one or the other.