lovinbilly4ever
08-12-2003, 06:05 PM
well, in june 2000, i went through a treatment facility--at the age of 19. (i had turned 19 like 1 month prior). anyways, prior to me going into treatment, i had done the whole addict thing...lying (which i thought i was doing a damn good job of. lol), and i stole from my mom & stepdad 2 times i believe. although, i have a pretty damn good memory (even when i was geaked out of my skull my memory was pretty sharp). anyways, i have been clean for 3 yrs 2 months & 1 day. my mom saw the CHANGE in me 2 weeks after i had gotten there (that was the soonest she was able to visit me).
my mom had forgave me immediately, which is am eternally thankful for, at first she was really sketchy to have me in her place of residence while she was gone..which is understandable (actions speak louder then words). i had then told my "STEPDAD" (not real stepdad...just hate his name lol), i was sorry, and told him he did not need to forgive me right then & there, but that 1 day id like for it to happen, well, he said "melissa i accept your appoligy...but things wont go back to normal" (well if you knew that he & i have NEVER EVER gotten along, youd know that the word NORMAL was not in our vocab. when speaking about "FAMILY LIFE".).
anyways, it has been 3 years 2 months & 1 day that i picked my sorry ass up, & went into treatment...and i KNOW that he has NOT forgiven me.
about 20 mins ago, i had called my mom to say hi, & tell her that my new laptop had caught the new LOVESUN.worm..& deleated it then i mentioned oh your bday is friday, and your reunion (30 yr) is sat. she said yeah, grandpa is coming over, would you like to stay the night also...i then burst out in tears, & then said "so i need supervision while im over there". she said "nevermind" i said "well, come on mother, i have been doing really f-ing good, he supposidly accepted my appoligy, we both know he will NEVER EVER forgive me, and you need to ask him for permission for me to BE IN YOUR HOUSE" she said, well ill ask him if you can come over "i said forget it" she said "i will TELL him you are coming over" i said, no way, no need to do that. i see when i am not wanted. she then said "i am sorry i upset you" & i hung up the phone.
it makes me SO mad. why cant this man just give me a freakin' chance? he acts like i am a RE-OFFENDER.
it hurts my heart that this man that SUPPOSIDLY forgave me 3 yrs 2 months & 1 day ago, needs to be TOLD when i WILL be there while THEY arent at home.
anyways, my mother just called back & said "you can come stay the night" well do i look like a G-D freakin' charity case? i dont know why i am letting this get to me as much as i am now. but :argh i am! :mad: she said and i quote "my DAUGHTER will be over there this weekend" and he said "that is fine". yeah right, and i have a small ass (which i dont lol) :D
guess this is a sign i need to start going to meetings more often..(been slacking badly for about the past year)..oh and, i need to be over there because "i know the animals" yeah i know my 21 yr old cat so well & my grandpa refuses to sleep with the dog. like i want to sleep w/a chiwawa (sp) and roll on top of it when im sleeping & kill it. lol ok i feel much better now, thanks for letting me vent
my mom had forgave me immediately, which is am eternally thankful for, at first she was really sketchy to have me in her place of residence while she was gone..which is understandable (actions speak louder then words). i had then told my "STEPDAD" (not real stepdad...just hate his name lol), i was sorry, and told him he did not need to forgive me right then & there, but that 1 day id like for it to happen, well, he said "melissa i accept your appoligy...but things wont go back to normal" (well if you knew that he & i have NEVER EVER gotten along, youd know that the word NORMAL was not in our vocab. when speaking about "FAMILY LIFE".).
anyways, it has been 3 years 2 months & 1 day that i picked my sorry ass up, & went into treatment...and i KNOW that he has NOT forgiven me.
about 20 mins ago, i had called my mom to say hi, & tell her that my new laptop had caught the new LOVESUN.worm..& deleated it then i mentioned oh your bday is friday, and your reunion (30 yr) is sat. she said yeah, grandpa is coming over, would you like to stay the night also...i then burst out in tears, & then said "so i need supervision while im over there". she said "nevermind" i said "well, come on mother, i have been doing really f-ing good, he supposidly accepted my appoligy, we both know he will NEVER EVER forgive me, and you need to ask him for permission for me to BE IN YOUR HOUSE" she said, well ill ask him if you can come over "i said forget it" she said "i will TELL him you are coming over" i said, no way, no need to do that. i see when i am not wanted. she then said "i am sorry i upset you" & i hung up the phone.
it makes me SO mad. why cant this man just give me a freakin' chance? he acts like i am a RE-OFFENDER.
it hurts my heart that this man that SUPPOSIDLY forgave me 3 yrs 2 months & 1 day ago, needs to be TOLD when i WILL be there while THEY arent at home.
anyways, my mother just called back & said "you can come stay the night" well do i look like a G-D freakin' charity case? i dont know why i am letting this get to me as much as i am now. but :argh i am! :mad: she said and i quote "my DAUGHTER will be over there this weekend" and he said "that is fine". yeah right, and i have a small ass (which i dont lol) :D
guess this is a sign i need to start going to meetings more often..(been slacking badly for about the past year)..oh and, i need to be over there because "i know the animals" yeah i know my 21 yr old cat so well & my grandpa refuses to sleep with the dog. like i want to sleep w/a chiwawa (sp) and roll on top of it when im sleeping & kill it. lol ok i feel much better now, thanks for letting me vent