Ya know, I have been doing a lot of thinking today. Well, over the last month. Fellah will probably be coming here for home detention. Which is fine. We have made our peace with what happened last winter, but we still have a long way to go.

It will be weird having him back home, but not really being together. Does that make any sence?

I am torn. I want to help the guy I have known for over 30 years, yet I am still so afraid of the addict.

Today, I am afraid. Tomorrow, who knows? I can't live in tomorrow. Just today, right now.

So, what is your right now? How has your day been?

JJT

my right now...stressful. Things around me are bogging me down, and i have a psycho ex that can't seem to take "go to hell" for any kind of answer. He was abusive in our relationship and shows no signs of change. Rick is having a fit because he can't be here to help me, and the ex, has a cocaine addiction. You know how that goes, very unpredictable.

I go to see Rick tomorrow, and I can't wait. Our last phone call ended early because the c/o came to get him, in the midst of me telling him the latest go round with the ex. It sucks too, he's in lockdown and can only use the phone once on the weekend. 42 more days and he is in population, but until then, we live for Sunday afternoons.

You just have to take it one day at a time, and hope that you can be strong enough for the two of you, because that's what we women do. Be strong for those around us.

Good luck, let me know how it goes.

Well, after a nap and a letter from Fellah, I am bouncing around with excitement of the possibility of having my best friend home. With his new lawyer, he may end up doing 15 months. But at least Fellah doesn't have to be both defendant and attorney anymore! So much stress is gone.

Has the ex done anything bad enough to get a No Contact Order against him?

Have a most excellent visit!!! I am excited for you!!! Visits are so precious. It is a great advantange to both of you!!

JJT