There are several inter racial couples where I visit (im white, hes black). I have been involved in inter racial relationships for a while and im use to the stares you get sometimes. But yesterday this older lady sitting across from us would not stop. everytime i looked up she is staring, I look out of the corner of my eye she is staring. We ended up moving because it was getting on my husbands nerves

Thats too bad that it happened, but at least you were able to move. When I find people staring at me I tend to do something silly like stick my tongue out at them..then THEY are the ones feeling uncomfortable.

You can't change ignorance so just look past it and be comfortable with your personal choices! ;)

That sucks that you had to experience that. I think that it is sooo stupid for people to not understand that there are inter racial couples everywhere and its sad that it even has to be an issue, its not like people are running around saying "same race couples"...how silly does that sound?? Our society can be such idiots sometimes

I would have looked at her and said yes I am white and he is blackplease get over yourself and stop staring at us.

Thing is the lady was like in her seventies, and I dont disrespect nobody (unless they deserve it)

I think i am just blind when it comes to the people in the visiting room b/c i pay nobody any attention but the person sitting in front of me. i'm sorry her stares made you uncomfortable.

How do you know she was staring at you because you're an interracial couple?

Yeah, maybe you had a booger on your nose! LOL No, seriously, I'm sure it was the IRR, we get it sometimes too.

I had this boy (about 13) doing the same thing to me, and the mother. They keep doing it. So, me having a smart mouth say to my boyfriend "Do you get the feeling someone is staring at you? (when the little boy was) He said yea, dont pay them any attention. The rest of the day no more stares.

I am sure people give us looks, but I am too busy gazing into his eyes to notice. I am usually the ONLY black woman (or black person) visiting on my mans yard (maybe it's a coincidence, I hope) other than a couple of other times another black lady visits and her man is white also...and I don't notice her having troube either. So maybe I have blinders!!! OR could it be those hazel eyes...got me

But for the most part, I really hate that you are allowing these people to interrupt your visiting with your man...YOU are losing time with your man because of being concerned with them!!! Focus. sorry if that sounded harsh, really I am not that way.

Jasmine

I just let them stare, sometimes I'll kiss him or hold his hand, they really don't like that.

I am glad that you were able to move.. but sometimes we have to just deal with it.. As i do understand that can work someone nerves but you know what maybe you and him intrigue them.. you never know let them stare maybe they will learn that love is love not a color

It's really unfortunate that in this day and age, you still have to go through something like that. It just goes to show that ignorance, like racism, is here to stay, and you have to be bigger than both of them. I'm not in an interracial relationship, never have been, but my best friends are an interracial couple, and my brother-in-law is white. It's too bad you're not here in Baltimore, or Maryland in general. If you visited your man here, you would quickly find that aound 50% of the couples are interracial, sometimes more. So it's the norm here, and nobody really cares.

Spadesboo, she's right. I see you're in Alabama. Believe me southern Georgia and Alabama still don't accept IR couples. I would have to say the same as some of the others on here, don't let them take away from your time with your man--they're not worth it and furthermore, why aren't they paying attention to who they came to visit?!

if the woman staring came to see someone and paid all that attention to you then she short changed the one she went to see. i just sit and snuggle and pay no mind. if it offends anyone THEY can move because it sure doesn't bother me.

There could have been other reasons the woman was staring if she was in her 70's. She might not have had very good vision and might not even have realized she was staring. She could have been lost in thought or thinking that it was nice seeing people in love. Sometimes it helps just to smile back at people who are staring:) ! (Someone was staring at me in a store today and when I stared back at him and smiled he said "Aren't you so-and-so,my son's old teacher?")

What surprises me in all of this is you guys asked the c.o.s to move you AND THEY DID!! That is great because places where I've gone, once they seat you, THAT'S IT. The only way a person gets moved round these parts where I go and have been is if somebody mistakenly sat in the wrong seat in the first place.

DLM, That's a nice possibility but you can usually tell by the look on the persons face what they are thinking. I know alot of 70 year oldishy people like my Mom aren't thrilled about IRR.

You know I have a lot of understanding for older people bothered by this-around here they were raised in an time when this was not accepted at all, whereas people our age have been around it .

We sit wherever we want to at visits. Ive never been to a prison that makes you sit in a certain place.

You know I have a lot of understanding for older people bothered by this-around here they were raised in an time when this was not accepted at all, whereas people our age have been around it . . .
Very nice boo, very nice. :yes:

i'm happy you were able to be moved. we would have probably moved too. i don't like anyone staring me or my man down at visits for ANY reason. :nono:

Ok This Is Kinda The Same.. I Get More Staring At My Kids! (not Just At Visits) But In General... As My Kids All Look Different!
My Youngest Is 5 And Youd Think He Was Full Blk!
Anyways One Time We Were In Line At Checkout In The Store And This Lod Lady Kept Looking At My Kids Then Turn Away...
My Daughter 7 Said Mommy That Lady Keeps Looking At Us?
Well The Next Time She Looked I Told My Bigger Kids To Stay In Line, And I Took My 5 Yr Old Over There To Her And Said, Would You Like To Touch Him? Dont Worry It Wont Rub Off On You?...lmao! She Was So Imbarresd She Left The Store...
And Belive Me No One Else In Line Had The Balls To Stare!!!
Some Times You Just Have To Bring To There Attention What There Doing...

. . . Would You Like To Touch Him? Dont Worry It Wont Rub Off On You?...lmao! ...
Funny you should say that because a lady who I often see on the train was telling me something similar. She's a black lady and was telling me something about how a white man on the train she was sitting beside was reacting to her being so close to him. She said she rubbed her skin and showed him her fingers tellin him "see, it doesn't rub off." :eek: I get that too, sometimes, I'm sitting next to someone white on the train and I see them inch over not to touch. That don't bother me because what I do is spread out a lil more, then they'll inch over a little more, so I'll spread out a lil more. Their tension:angry::yuck: can be felt in the air, but in my mind I'm thinkin "thanks for the extra space. :D" This isn't usually the case but sometimes I do sit next to a white man or woman who will be acting like they were silently praying before I sat beside them "please don't sit here, please don't sit here." Because this type of thing doesn't happen often, the strays that want to trip don't bother me at all and that's because I can't let their issues disturb the presence of my peace. :nono:

That is so sad. I will always move over when someone sits by me so that I dont crowd them. Like yesterday I was at my sons football practice and this lady andher 3 kids sit by me and of course they are all in front of me, beside me and shit and she is telling them move over and lookin at me like she thinks im gonna get pissed or something. anyway i tell her look, let your kids get comfortable they aint gonna bother me, and shes like most white people aint like you they would tell me to keep my kids out of there way. I said that is so sad and im not like most white people.anyway her little boy ended up in my lap and didnt want to let go. I hope that whoever treated her like that out there saw all that

Maybe you were not being stared at because of the different colors of your skin , maybe it was because she thought you were pretty , and not in a gay or silly way . When I visit my man and please dont think im being conseited because believe me I am not but we get stared at every single time I visit him and we are both caucasion . I firmly believe that we are the most beautiful people in the room and that everyone can see and feel our love radiating from eachother and that they want to share in it or wish they had that . Dont sweat what anyone else thinks , I mean do you really care what some stranger thinks about you ? Be yourself and as long as your comfortable in your own skin (no pun attended) then you will be just fine

A guard told me that I would be more comfortable on the other side of the room. they only thing I could get from it was that she was insisting since he was black I should sit on the other side because there were a couple black people on that side and I just sat in the middle. I was like dang segregation what year is it again?

I'm sorry you were made to feel so uncomfortable. I'm in my first interracial relationship. Before I was in the relationship I thought that IRR was so common that it was ascepted. I was wrong. The first time I went to visit my boyfriend in jail, I didn't have any problem at all but the guards gave him hell after I left. (predomanatly white county) I only visited him one other time there and we stopped the visits because they gave him so much trouble, telling him they don't tolerate that stuff there. He was about to be moved anyway so we decided to wait to visit at his new location. He was the only black man in that jail. ( well, almost the only one ) so he was given enough of a hard time without me adding fuel to their fire. So sad that people can't can't see everyone as just another person regardless of skin color.

After all these years, it's sort of funny but, as I was growing up, my family would never have accepted that I wanted to date black and that despite the fact that my grandfather was Afro American albeit not of high colour. For some reason, it was important for us to "pass" (God I hate that word), to have other people think we were white. While that was understandable when we first came to Canada after the emancipation in 1865, it is no longer today. I simply refuse to tolerate these attitudes today and if people don't like seeing me with a black person that's their problem. I am only satisfied in an interracial relationship, specifically, black/white and that's the way it's going to remain. Don't like it? Take a pill and get over it! Perhaps in my case it's a question of wanting to return to my roots, to find myself, so to speak. But, whatever the reason, I date black and am proud of the fact.....not to mention, being so very satisfied....dayum!!!

I am a lil nervous to go see my boyfriend in prison.
I know we will get people looking at us.
Since we did when he wasn't in prison.
BTW he is white and i am blk and hispanic.
I afraid that if I do visit he might get into a fight with some one
because of a comment they might say about me. He was quick tempered when people started in public so i can just imagine how he might be in there.

I am a lil nervous to go see my boyfriend in prison.
I know we will get people looking at us.
Since we did when he wasn't in prison.
BTW he is white and i am blk and hispanic.
I afraid that if I do visit he might get into a fight with some one
because of a comment they might say about me. He was quick tempered when people started in public so i can just imagine how he might be in there.

Things like that rarely happen where someone would just straight out disrespect you like that , they may look at you but most inmates are too busy with their visits to even worry about what is going on with others. If they stare let them but you know what as long as you dont acknowledge their stares then you are letting them know that you dont care if they stare that you are just enjoying time with your man. YOu can always write him and ask him if there is alot of it there and if so is it just out right rude or do they mainly keep the comments to themselves.. I hope you and him have a great visit

I too am in NJ and go see a friend in prison,he is black, I am treated no differently then anyone else.The more you go you will probably met others in your position.Where is your b/f at? My friend in Southwoods.Don't lewt others keep you away,go with your head held high. Be proud..

yeah i had the probalem of people staring but it wasnt the white folks it wa the blk women. But usually alot of them when they find out i am white rican blk asain native american and italian they usually arent as ya know youa white girl blah blah thing they just like og you just a light skined sistah

We've gotten "the look", usually from elderly Black ladies. Honestly, I totally respect that. That is their opinion and how they were raised...how they feel. We ignore the "haters". There will always be people of the opposite race wondering why we are with each other. Well, we LOVE each other, period. Not everyone will accept that, and we don't expect that. Although we wish it weren't that way, sadly it still is to this day...even in Upstate NY.

yep i seen it my whole bid.but i learn to realize they just jealous haters who dont love tehemselves much at all. i just got out finally and i remember one couple. she really tall lovely lady nice lookin tall thick not skinny but in pretty thick like shape nothing wrong wit her at all one bit:) mix chick blk/white.
who came to see her white dude irish cat cool as hell dough,straight up BUT he still white.
a little skinnier type guy,shorter kinda.....

she was tall frame in height and you had some (as we call em jealous hating BROADS with no life.gotta hate on nice women.

staring her down laughting pointing even.we all knew that a hateful type of jelousy hater who dont really love her life at all ya heard.
then we then started laughing at her and honestly they aint like that one bit.so piece of ex con advice:

laugh at them then roll the eyes & keep laughing or hugging on ya man START HOLD HIS HAND and jus

dont pay em no mind. they jelous straight up. trust me i know this and they know it too....

they have NO life and want yours and is jelous.all it is ladies.

I have to leave a comment here (just the way I am) I will admit that I watch people in the visiting rooms. (while I'm waiting for my man to come out) Not IR couples, same race couples, just everyone. I will admit that I have been caught staring at people for different reasons. I will notice how nice someone looks (hair, clothes, makeup) but most of the time the interaction b/t two people will catch my attention. Little laughs, smiles hugs, kisses, habd holding etc. It's just so nice to see people in love, and showing love to one another. I wish people would realise that we are all here together, don't waste what little time we have with our loved ones (especailly if we have to drive, and go through metal detectors to see them) I bet you ladies were getting the jealous looks and stares because they could feel the love and kindness radiating b/t you and your honeys!! If they were taking the time to shoot you the stares and such, they weren't getting any from theirs!!

Also I have to add a comment about the kids being stared at. I have two children of my own (white) that I think are the most adorable children in the world.(like every mother does) I have to say though, some of the most BEAUTIFUL children I have ever seen have been of mixed race. I think the world is a prettier place for having them around

There are several inter racial couples where I visit (im white, hes black). I have been involved in inter racial relationships for a while and im use to the stares you get sometimes. But yesterday this older lady sitting across from us would not stop. everytime i looked up she is staring, I look out of the corner of my eye she is staring. We ended up moving because it was getting on my husbands nerves

just ignore them in my profession i have learned just how hateful and ignorant and jealous ones like them LOSERS can be.just laugh it off pray
for the hating and go on with your visit. nothing else should matter but you.and your man's relationship/future.....

i do not blame ya man. i would not have perhaps moved but i would have
if he was bothered by it since this is just as much as his time as yours.
people got nothing else better to do then to HATE since they do not really
love they look ACT TALK ETC.
brush it off as i do u will feel WAY much better.

dont pay em no mind. they jelous straight up. trust me i know this and they know it too....
they have NO life and want yours and is jelous.all it is ladies.



i was just saying this. i couldn't agree more juan_nyfelon....:)

and good luck on ya time home, i read your signature
good luck i know it can be hard but with the right job woman like i tell my
man all time you will make it.good luck papa...cuidate ahora.

When I first started visiting my husband,we got the stares too.He's white and I am black,this white lady guard use to give us a hard time until I complained about her,after that she never bothered us again,but there are some visitors that still stare at me especially when I kiss him.One time a black guard (women )made a statement "I know she is not going to kiss him".They are the
ignorant ones.They don't stare anymore because they have gotten use to seeing us together.Love has no color,if I hadn't been open to the option of dating men of another race I would have missed out on finding the best man I have ever had,he is the love of my life and we are happy together.

Liek with everything in this world somethings may never change and people believing Black and whites should not mix is one of those things... My great grandparents were raised that way and so they raised my grandparents that way and on down the line... I have a cousin who has been with a black man and though i love her dearly i would not allow my daughter do be around her.. I didnt aprove of her decition because thats not how we were raised. Its not the couple that pays it the children. Its not gonna get better either. AND ITS ONLY WORSE IN THE PRISON SYSTEM... they arent gangs but they strongly belive in same race relationships... Raciest you may call it but everyone should be pround of their race and stand up for it....