Hi, i just wanted to share and also ask if anyone else has had this happen. You see my man has been at this prison for about 2 1/2 months now.. and EVERYTIME i go visit, which is every wk. there has to be something else that they find to pick a, at 1st i thought that they were just trying to set the boundries right off the bat, but then i started to see a pattern, a obvious pattern of racial profiling going on, its ONLY the mixed couples who they mess with, i mean i can look over and see white couple doing the exact same thing as my man gets in trouble for, even worse, and they just smile and walk the other way, and another time the dog saposably detected narcotics on me when i came ro visit:confused: , i DONT do drugs at all ever, but they sure did everything in there power to find something, another time, his jump suit zipper was down too far, but when i looked around at EVERY othere inmate, thers were down even farther,its something else everytime. and today they took our visits away for a month:angry: for NO reason, and i would admit if we were doing anything wrong. I ...we, are SO mad and upset, its SO obvious, but who are we and what can we do about it? anyone with a comment or similar story please share. by the way, for the record, i'm white and my man is black.

I have experienced racial profiling when I go to visit my man but I don't let it get to me. That just goes to show how ignorant people still are this day in age. I just look at them and smile. But as for him gettin into trouble...well I just had this happen a couple weeks ago. I asked a CO a question and he snapped at me!:mad: SO I snapped back and I swear if it wouldn't have been for the other CO to step in I would have went off on him. I just asked where my man was because I had been waiting for 1 hour and 15 minutes, with a 2 year old:mad: But then later that week I received a letter from my man saying that this same CO that gave me trouble at visit was picking on him and he even had words with him! :angry: I was so incredibly upset but there was really nothing I could do because I didn't want to cause more trouble so I just let my man deal with it the best way he knows how. Just keep your head up and don't let other people get to you!

Yes, I have had alot of prob. with the co's. I just don't let them get away with it. I called the superintendent and reported the problem and who the co was. Well, he was known for harassment, so he was not allowed to work in the visiting room again. But, I will caution you, this isn't always the best thing cuz it could come back on him. We have 3 bi racial children who are dark they dont look like they have white in them at all, and the co was checking us in asked if they were mine? I said yes, she then said When did you adopt them? cuz I never use to bring them. I was very offended.

I went to see my man and the CO's and some other visitors stare and give us a harder time because we are an interracial couple. He is Mexican and in the prison I guess they are always keeping an eye on mexicans because they are "in control of a lot of business", but my man is not involved with that but they have made the dog come in the visiting room and he sniffed us like 3 or 4 times and barely anyone else. I see many couples sneak kisses and doing other things and they don't get into trouble but we held hands the wrong way, my arm was under his, and they are down our necks saying we are being too friendly:blah: . Oh well, I brush it off as best I can. the CO's stick by each other and I do not want my visits suspended for silly reasons. The town the prison is near and the CO's are mainly white and they seem to not like the interracial thing. I can see what you guys are saying about same race couples getting away with a lot more touchy-feely stuff:p .

It is very common in MI also. On top of the racial thing I am also an ex-co so we get all kinds of harrassment and retaliation and I also lost my visits for 90 days.

Try being an interracial gay couple.I'm white and he is black.We get alot of stares and glares from both the co's and others visiting their loved ones.Oh yeah! I get the questions from the co's."Where did you meet him"and other personal questions from them.And of course we are always put in the front glass booths for all to see.But hey i'd do anything in this world to see him.So i just put on a big smile and just keep on going.Goodluck and be strong!

Luckily we have had no problems with any of the visiting room officers. They have all been very respectful and friendly. Interracial couples are also VERY common at the facility my husband is at. I have seen all types of couples get in trouble for "sexual misconduct" from interracial to non-interracial couples. I guess the situation is different at every facility and racism happens everywhere. In any situation, I would never give anyone, especially corrections officers, the satisfaction of knowing that they were ruining my visit.

I haven't been able to visit my husband at prison yet, but we got harrassed at the county jail. I only went one time to visit. I had to arrainge a special visit since I am about 4 hours away and his visiting hours were week days when I would be working. So I called and got the runaround, but finally I got a Saturday visit from 12-1pm. I asked why I couldn't get 2 hours, which is what he would normally get during the week and they said I should be happy with the one hour. So I went down there drove 4 hours and got there a little early, I asked if I could start the visit then, she said no to come back at noon. So I came back at noon. I gave her my ID and stuff and she ran me for warrants and then sent me back to the visitation area. I went up the stairs and down a very long hallway to visit room 6. I waited there for like 10 minutes when an officer came and told me to go back down to the lobby. So I went back down to the lobby, the front desk lady was laughing and she told me to go to a different part for visitation, i did. i waited about 15 minutes and the same officer told me to go back out to the lobby. so i did, the lady still laughing at me sent me to the line up room, where i would see him, but he couldn't see me. then after another 10 minutes the officer sent me back out to the lobby. by this time it was 12:30, so half of my hour to visit was gone and I still hadn't seen my husband. the front desk lady sent me back to the same place i went the first time and they let me finally see him.

This is an example of how they treat inter-racial couples. there was another lady visiting and she didn't get the runaround. she was black and i am sure her man was black. but since i am white and my man is black they got thier jollies off of us that day. my husband told me that they are the devil and we are god. it's more than just the color of our skin, it's our hearts and souls that they hate. the devil hates us before he even knows us. my husband is very wise. the world hates god. so everytime someone tries to get you down, just realize that it's the devil and smile and laugh at the devil, don't let them get you down!

. . . my husband told me that they are the devil . . . it's more than just the color of our skin, it's our hearts and souls that they hate. the devil hates us before he even knows us. my husband is very wise. the world hates god. so everytime someone tries to get you down, just realize that it's the devil and smile and laugh at the devil, don't let them get you down!
I totally relate to your husband's "wisdom" , and I agree with you in your feelings of "don't let it get you down". These folks want to make you feel uncomfortable because they don't feel uncomfortable. But because your man is brave enough to date and marry you all when they know what the racial climate is where you live, then I think you ladies ought show your braveness too, rather than letting them hating devils see you sweat.

Try being an interracial gay couple.I'm white and he is black.We get alot of stares and glares from both the co's and others visiting their loved ones.Oh yeah! I get the questions from the co's."Where did you meet him"and other personal questions from them.And of course we are always put in the front glass booths for all to see.But hey i'd do anything in this world to see him.So i just put on a big smile and just keep on going.Goodluck and be strong!

Mike...I had to smile at your post b/c just when you think it's bad...BOOM! I KNOW you create a stir in that place. :hee:
I get my fair share of questions and stares about our relationship, but I KNOW you must get tons! :faint:
AND in Texas...WHOA!
I'm in the Deep South, bible belt and they act like I've already bought a one-way ticket to "the fire pit"! AKA: h*ll! :rolleyes:


KUDOS TO YOU AND YOUR MAN!
I'm sure it continues for him long after the visit! :blah:

But yeah, to answer the post. When he was in county jail, they REALLY gave it to us. :eek: But after I visited a couple of weeks (he was in TN and me in SC) they would be disappointed when I could not come visit. :haha: I'm talking small town, My Cousin Vinny style place! We just never paid them any attention and I think that is what helped.
They wanted a reaction from us and nothing! So, I guess they decided if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! :shrug:

Ladies & Gentlemen - let me explain what has happened to us -
We went thru shift change approx. 10 weeks ago & the very first time i went to visit after shift change, the female CO on duty has been more then friendly w/me. From the way she shakes me down to the things she has said to me. My mistake is I had never reported this type of behavior as I felt it was something I just had to endure to visit my hubby. In fact, I actually thought that maybe this CO just needed a friend & I would engage in idle conversation w/her, etc. Well 3 weeks ago, when I went for my visit (I have never missed a visit & we have never had any write-ups, etc) this very same CO came to our table a couple times that day & even sat & talked w/us for a few minutes, etc. Nothing was ever said about any PDA, etc. Upon the end of visit that day & as I was leaving in front of all the inmates, other visitors, & other guards she goes "girl you are so crazy" & (mistake #2 on my part) I in return, kissed her on the cheek & said "yes, I know. See you next week". Everyone including her started laughing. She even brought a poem out to me that John had written & had forgotten to give to me. We even talked again & nothing was ever said about the cheek kiss other then she couldn't believed I had just done that. As you all know, leaving visit is very heart wrenching & sad. I was only trying to lighten the mood for everyone. And laughter is the best medicine. Then Wednesday gets here & I get a letter from the Warden telling me my visits are now suspended indefinately!!!!! Because I did not follow the CO's orders of ceasing to stop my PDA & that the kiss was now being considered as deliberate disrespect & battery of an officer. I cannot tell you how outragged I am!!! My character has been slandered & an officer has out right lied!!!! We were never told to cease any PDA as there was none going on!!!! So, I write the warden - no response. I called the warden everyday last week to request a meeting w/him & all involved - no response. John finally gets to meet w/the warden last Friday & he is told if we continue to oppose him we will never see each other. John has a life sentence & we do not come up for our first chance of parole until 2010 so to us this punshiment is unfair & unjust especially for a 1st time alleged violation. How do these people sleep at night? They are no better then the inmates housed in their care. But I am a fighter & I will fight for what is right. So now I have gone over the Warden's head & contacted his boss (DOC Director) who was more then willing to hear my side & who will investigate the problem. Hopefully & soon we will get our visits back. And when we do, trust me - every little infraction a CO makes I will report it.

Ps: To This Date - John Has Not Received A Write Up Of Any Kind. Not Even For The Alleged Pda - So How Do They Get Away W/this Kind Of &$%@?????

I haven't visited Vern in prison yet, but when he was in county, and I would go and sign his and my name up on the sheet, I got questions. Sitting in the visiting room, why are you here? How long have ya'll been together? Then it came from the deps... You can do so much better than a low life prisoner like this man here. One dep actually came up and said something to me when I was visiting Vern. He was like what was that about? The dep had told me that I, as a white woman, could do a lot better than that black man on the other side of the glass. He's a felon. See, I got a temper, and I really wanted to be like really? He's a felon? This is a jail? No s--- Sherlock. I think they are way too quick to judge on interracial relationships. After reading some of these, and seeing some of these problems that you ladies (and gentlemen) are having, I'm scared to go visit Vern. I get a temper in there and they'll lock me up.

JohnCat, even though your story is crazy, I can't figure out why you kissed the officer. I guess sometimes "getting too friendly" works both ways.

I would say that this officer was in fear of losing her job for overfamiliarization and she turned the tables on you. Never kiss a co.

Every week that happens to us. Just this past week, we got in trouble for hugging, meanwhile we see people having sex and touching eachother all the time. He is in a minimum, so they are a lot more lenient, but it's almost a catch 22 because, it's really up to each CO's discretion what is acceptable and what's not. Also, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that most of the CO's are white, and it kills them to see a white female with a black man. It's very aggravating, but if you let them see how much it bothers you, I noticed it only makes them pick on you more, so try your hardest to let it roll off your shoulder.:shrug:

i experienced it too... they would always pick on me and shit because im white and hes black . he was in suzanne kays detention facility in dallas... now hes in tha john middleton unit in abiline the female guards were the worst and they would get attitudes when i would ask them to check to see if my fiance was still there when they saw his mugshot

well i havent experienced it yet but i havent been able to see him for a very long time because of distance. He is in hutchinson kansas if any one has any stories about being an mixed couple there please tell me.

i agree with michela. what she did was undue familiarity definitely, and i am 100% positive that she was in seriously hot water for doing it.

to the original poster, i'm sorry you went through this...and are going through it...but my only response is for a while do everything as perfectly as you possibly can. follow the rules to a T...do not give them any reason to pick on you. then see what happens. file a complaint for racial profiling if it continues.

i used to get picked on to where is he at

I just got back from my first visit in over 2 years I was so happy and nervous to see my hubby. But the guards weregreat with us. They all seemed liek they liked my man they would stop and convosate and ask how i was doing and our daughter. he always be talking about me so the guards were like so ur his wifey he always talking about i blushed and said yes. They were cool i went to Hucthinson correctional in kansas east unit other then other blk women giving us the eye the guards were good though.

My husband and I have had a little trouble as well. They always put us right up front in the visiting room and are always correcting him on everything. We can just be sitting there talking, not even touching and they will have something to say. We always get dirty looks from the co's as well. We manage though and try to make the best of our time together.

Hope everything works out for u.

Stacy

i had one really bad experience why i was visiting my boyfriend in prison. a c.o. took him into a private room and told him that he couldnt touch me because i reminded him of his daughter and he didnt approve of a white girl with a black guy. my boyfriend was so upset he made me leave. i didnt visit for a whole 2 months.

my baby is fulton Mo. at the moment in diagnostic and i have not visited yet, but after reading this post , you have me thinking , i am mexican and he is white and i am also older than him , i am officer of the courts for the state of arkansas and a volunteer translater for the police dep. and i never had a problem w racism, but i am sure going to be very carefull , when he was in forsyth Co. jail the guards where just sweet hearts allways very nice , i would leave in tears and they would be very compasionate , i hope i dont go trough trouble ...God bless you all

One female CO said "quit holding hands, you're making me nervous". Than the next visit a male CO took my husband aside and said that we had our hands below the table, which wasn't true. We follow all the rules cause they are watching us the whole time. We just said okay and went about our business both times. Give them what they don't want, don't react at all! Don't let the devil win!

I have had problems going to see my man in prison. My man is black and I'm white so one day after our visit one of the COs asked my man if he was a legal citizen?? The CO has never spoken to him he said and then after I started visiting he was asking rude questions like that. The next visit I came on a Friday night and one of the COs were hitting on me while I was waiting for the call to go back to see him!! At the end that CO came into the visiting room and kept looking at me and smiling . I felt so violated and disrespected because I have a man and I'm there to visit him not get hit on. That following Sunday I drove up there to see him and they told me he got put into the hole and they were sorry. I just turned around and walked out cause they aint sorry. I talked to my man the next day and he told me that at the end of our visit they said he had some kind of wires in his pocket!! He said it had nothing to do with him and he did not have those wires in his pocket. I know I didn't give them to him and what kind of wires? They kept him in the hole for 5 days without shit, no shower, no nothing. Well to make a long story short I feel like every time we see each other they just are so rude and its not fair. But like someone else said who are we and what are we to do about it? We are there seeing an offender, we aint shit.

My guy and I got suspended for 6 months, first suspension is supposed to be 90 days..... I think alot of it has to do with the fact that I am white and he is black also he is 15 years older than me. There were alot of questions asking if he was forcing me to do anything inappropriate with him ect basically accusing him of molesting me when I met with the warden.

Great! I have so much to look forward to. I havent even gone to see my man yet. And he is NOT the type to keep him mouth shut. I'm going to be suspended before I can even see him...HA!

We have problems at visits but he seems to have a problem when I leave they find things to try to get him on.

nah. i gnore ALL HATERS cause in my line of profession i realize its
because of them being jealli with absolutely NO LIFE whatsoever
so they laugh even point at us and we just kiss more and touch laugh right back at them and focus on what is important,WHICH IS US AND OUR RELATIONHIP AND FUTURE.

To hell to them losers who needs them, we dont...

i do not really get "pick on" at all just alot of laughin/staring at us alot...
i would not let them do this to me (pick on me etc)

as i got a hot latino blk temper & will be knockin some nosey JEALOUS bi-tch out quick. they would be lockin me down which i would not mind if i can see my sweetie pie more.:p

Yeah, it think it's pretty across the board. My husband and I get "spoken to" almost every visit for pretty silly stuff. Guards come by our table more often than necessary, and now that the people that decide whether you can come in or not know who I'm visiting, they are WAY more strict on my clothing than they are on non-mixed couples. I pretty much have to wear loose jeans and a baggy long-sleeved shirt or they find something wrong with my attire. He's been threatened with 6 months behind the glass for kissing my hand mid-visit (one kiss to greet and one to leave....) Wackos. Gotta love Indiana!

I've been pretty fortunate. Most of the guards are friendly and have seen us visiting for a few years so they don't hassle us at all. There are a lot of interracial couples visiting and a lot of same race couples as well. No one gets targeted there. We are actually treated better in there than we were in public before he went to prison. Ridiculous, huh?