I keep asking myself that question. I have finally broken down, and had to tell someone. I am with a man, and have been for almost 3 years. My son is 6, and has autism. We live together. My ex boyfriend of 13 years (on again/off again) because he keeps going to jail for unrelated offenses is in rehab (for selling drugs), and should be home sometime this year. I secretly write to him, and visit him. He knows what's going on, and it hurts him that he is there and can't protect me.

Anyway, tonight we were in the car and I asked for my cell phone because I was worried the ex may call. He got pissed at me, and started threatening me. I still nagged that I wanted my phone. He punched me in my head in my ear, and it still hurts. I can't stop crying, and thinking to myself that he will never change. So why am I still here with him?

My car is registered in his name, and if I try to leave he will report it stolen. He is verbally abusive. He calls me all types of names which I can't post here.

Tonight he told me he wanted to kill me, and that it would feel so good. Then when we got home he wanted to hug me, and ask if I was going to be a good girl. I am 27 years old, I am not a girl.

I want to get out of this situation but I don't know where to start. I don't work now because it's the summer and I have to stay home with my son since he has autism, and I don't like leaving him with anyone. I was thinking about getting a job so I can save up some money to leave but that would mean I have to leave my son with him. I have no family, and no friends because of him.

Just wanted to vent to someone who can understand. Thank you for lettting me.

Connecticut (http://www.womenslaw.org/ct/ct_links.htm)

Above is a resource list for places in Connecticut that you can call to get help Or call the below hotline number. You are in danger honey. Please call them and talk to them about what is going on. You can get referrels to shelters to get away from him and where you can take your son. DON't Leave him with that man. Take him with you.

National HOtline Number (http://www.ndvh.org/help/index.html)

It took a lot of courage to write this. Keep us posted on how you are doing and NO you are not stupid. You are being abused and it is only going to escalate and get worse. I would go to the doctor tomorrow if not today(tonight) tell them what is going on. YOu might have a ruptured ear drum.

Please get out and get out now! A shelter will help you get housing and get your life back together

Good luck!

TAKE UR SON AND LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! GO TO A WOMENS HOME (i.e. VICTORY OUTREACH) i KNOW THERE'S ONE IN EVERY STATE AND PART OF THE WORLD. HONESTLY, BEEN THERE W/ MY EX- ITS NOT WORTH THE ANXIETY STRESSIN' OVER WHAT WILL SET THEM OFF. PLEASE JUST GO , U SAID U DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY,...BUT U STILL HAVE UR LIFE, AND IF HE TAKES THAT THEN WHO WILL CARE FOR YOUR SON. DONT ALLOW HIM TO WIN. U DONT NEED MONEY TO LEAVE U JUST GOT TO UTILIZE THE RESOURCES OUT THERE. TRY THE DEPT. OF SOCIAL SERVICES(welfare office). I WILL KEEP U IN MY PRAYERS, BE SAFE AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS THE SO-CALLED MAN THAT IS PUTTING HANDS ON U HAS TO GO TO SLEEP SOMETIME

Hon, it's not stupidity - it's fear of the unknown, and shame and embarassment, and a lot of other things like that. Stop thinking about it and just GO. Don't try to think out all the angles, because that is paralyzing you - you just can't tie up all the loose ends. Your son, autistic or not, cannot improve when you're living in such sorrow and fear, so, as has already been said - GET OUT NOW! wherever you are in Connecticut, there's a shelter within a half-hour's drive, and they can help you and your son. Pack a small suitcase with your son's favorite object and a few necessities, and take a taxi, a bus, whatever you can find, after the hotline tells you where you should go. Just do it! Good luck.

What everyone else has said. And then find someplace that offers Respite Care for your son. While he's someplace safe, you can find a job, or just make arrangements for the two of you. I've been where you are with an autistic child so know you are not alone. You can do this.

Do a google search on 'how to disappear' and do it... screw the car.

Go to a shelter, then get in contact with Dept of social services. I believe they should be able give u assistace ASAP due to your child's condition.

i left you some offline messages......girl i know you are scared but the best thing for you is to get help from authorities and leave.......sending prayers your way....

angela

i have 4 children they are all grown now,i have been through all of what you are now.you know how much this hurts you well it is hurting your son too.leave him for youself and your son.i raised 4 children by myself wasnt easy but we are,nt dead and we are all better off than we would have been with my ex

The wise have spoken. IMO, it's stupid to ignore the words of the wise, the words of those who have been there, the words of those who know the road you are on and who try to help you to take a detour.

At this point, no, you are not stupid. However, if you decide to go against what has been offered to you, I may be inclined to wonder.

Autism or no autism, I understand how you feel about leaving your child. Me and my kids dad didn't really have a social live, and that's because I didn't want to leave my children with anyone. I didn't want them to grow up "always getting dropped off while me and dad go do our thing." Because then you know what -- that is how they would probably raise my grandchildren once they do get married and then have children. We/I took our children with us mostly everywhere, even when jumping out of the van to run into the store.

Girl I know how you feel, but get out now while you still have your life. I had two small children when I was going through it. It would seem I was walking on eggshells all the time. Don't let this man have you scared make a move for you and your child, because then he has won! Call the police, a women's shelter and get out quick. Does he work? If so, when he goes to work, make your move, take the basics and run like HELL!!!!

I had the same probelm with the car thing, with my first husband and when i left him the judge granted me temporary use of the car until i could get back on my feet. He had to pay the payments and i got to keep it for a few months. So dont worry about things like that. You are so strong and you can do this! Alot of us here have been in the same situation and we know how u r feeling. We are here for you!

I was in a similar situation and I got out, through help from the people I work with. I feel for you. I understand how it feels. My ex, he is in prison for what he did to me, but I am still scared sometimes of what will happen when he gets out. He tried to kill me, beat me with a pistol in the head, several other things, but the bad thing is I still Love him. I loved him when I had him arrested, I loved him when we went through the trial, And I love him still. I am so confused. I know I did the right thing by having gotten out, but what do you do when you still love them? At the time he hurt me, he was on drugs, though I didn't know it. Now he is clean, in prison, and so loving. I want to be with him when he gets out, but I am terrified it will happen again.

My advice to you is to leave at the first SAFE opprunitiy and get help. Even if you love him, you have to take care of yourself and your son first.

Okay,first and foremost,think about your autistic son....I feel a bond with you already,I have twins and there autistic,the both of them...It's hard enough to deal with that in itself,why put yourself in that situation,our kids need stability and structure...Love yourself...If you need to talk anytime about Autism or your situation,get at me PLEASE...

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10722;93/st/20071128/e/Big+Daddy+comes+Home/dt/-3/k/f138/event.png

I have no family, and no friends because of him.



Sweetie, I don't know all of your situation, but I would say to call your family. I am sure they love you, and your son, and will help you now that you want it. Take care, and good luck.

i would wait until he is gone somewhere for enough time to get your son out of there.for him to keep your phone and hit you for wanting it could be a sign that he knows you are getting tired of him.he knows your phone is your link to anyone outside of him and he doesnt like it.i dont want you to be there if he has the thought that you are up to something-it could only be a thought but i bet he would act like a damm fool about it.i wish yo luck and pm me if you need to.

And don't forget that you always have friends here at PTO. Find strength within yourself (you know it's there) and take your son and yourself somewhere safe, away from him. PM me if I can help in any way, hun.

Thank you everyone for your responses. Just wanted to let you know that I did leave on December 15th, 2006. Thank you all for being there.:)

Definitely get help! If you're dead or severley hurt your car will do you no good. Get help and start over then you can maybe with your first ex again. But right now, you owe your son a safe happy life, not to mention yourself.

SO happy to hear that you left!!! CONGRATS! At the end of the day it feels so much better to not have to be scared of how he will act/what he will do. Good luck!

Glad to hear you have made it out! I hope all is going well for you and your son.

Very good ! Good luck to you and stay strong. You made a good choice not just for you but for your son as well :thumbsup: