Hey you guys....not sure if you saw my post or not....Skip made his mandatory supervision. In 51 days {I can tell you the hours and minutes too :) }, I drive to Mineral Wells, make a quick stop at the unit, and Skip will be coming home.

Of course, they will require him to attend substance abuse counseling of some sort. They don't really specify what, but I'm assuming, with lack of other sources, it will be AA. He will be prohibited from "...operating a motor vehicle without the express written consent of his supervising parole officer." Initially, the board has asked for intense supervision, and he can earn the right to graduate from that as he proves himself. We aren't sure yet, if that means leg monitors.

I would like to ask (whether you agree with me or not) that you guys keep Skip in your thoughts/prayers. He indicates his drinking days are over, and while I hope he's right, I know that addicts are sometimes the BEST con artists. I trust Skip and I want his life free/clear, but then again, as we're all aware and we've all stated.....IT'S SIMPLY NOT UP TO ME.

He will ALWAYS have my undying love and support. I'm hoping it's strength he might lean on when he feels himself weakening...I'm hoping it's the thing missing in his life from before, that caused him to stumble in the past.

I don't play games....and I know getting him home (as hard as it was)...was REALLY the easy part. Now, the real work will begin....I think Skip is PERFECTLY suited to help others in his shoes, and I"m hoping he will turn this to good and maybe begin to counsel others.....

I'm not leaving PTO....and I'm hoping once home and up/running, you guys will get to talk to Skip too....He's a great guy with such clarity on life....you will often wonder how, with his insight and strength, he could EVER choose to let alcohol win.

Keep us in close in thoughts/prayers....and thank everyone for all you've done for us!

kath

You both will definitely be in my thoughts. He's one lucky guy to have such a wonderful woman!!!

Michelle

You got it Kath no problem and if you need to talk don't hesitate to give me a call okay. You are such a wonderful person that Skip has been truly blessed by because not many understand when alcohol or drugs win in our lives and how WE have to turn it around and WIN in our own lives without alcohol or drugs. I applaud you for standing by him without enabling him in his journey. Your insights to the problem will help him Kathy in so many ways but as you stated the ultimate decision has to be his and his willingness.

Stay strong and I am truly elated for Skip in his coming home!!!!!
cherrie from tx

Being an alcoholic/addict isn't a choice. We only have a choice once we're established in recovery and the compulsion/obsession is gone, but till then you can't say it's a choice because the addiction is active. Just take it one day at a time, and I urge you to go to Alanon yourself because that's going to help him the most, having you in the 12 step program designed to help spouses and loved ones. Trust him and just don't "hover" and constantly worry that he's going to fall back into his old habits or try to control him about it. That will do more harm than good. Good luck to you both! I'll be saying prayers for you.

Incidentally, the 12 step programs have the best proven track record of success wth any kind of addiction, over any other method available, so even if AA is "all that's available", you're probably in luck there-------it's the best anyway.

Oh Kath,
I do not know why, but I really did think you were in recovery yourself. Toi is so right. With as much as you have accomplished toward Skip's release his addiction recovery will be his and only his baby. Please Please Please go to Alanon. Maybe even start now if you have time. You will love it really. I grew up in an alcoholic home. AA saved my family, as a child. I should have been in Alanon way before I was ever involved in AA for myself. I went to Alteen to AA to ALanon. Anyway, needless to say the 12 step program is as unconditional as is PTO with their love for an addict. Right now I am not practicing a program. I am practicing with drinking. Afraid of something I do not want to identify. I was told yesterday it was my lack of feeling deserving of God's love. Sorry to go on and on.

And you know I still have my HONEY at CCA. Same old stuff. Sure would like to get verifyable info from some one who knows. Ahemm...Skip.

Kath, really, I wish you guys only the best. God is with you both. It is obvious. He will be with you on the next leg of your journey also.

HONEY

I agree that you need AlAnon as much as Skip needs AA.

Best wishes to the both of you - you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

AND - you'd BETTER NEVER EVER LEAVE PTO!!

I feel so happy for you at the thought of his homecoming, but I also feel your apprehension, we as the loved ones and supporting mates of addicts are really at the mercy of the Lord and (hopefully)strength of our men/women to show us that they mean what they are saying by wanting to "stay clean and sober". The struggle of the addict is not only limited to them, but to the person they share this daily life-long struggle with...Best of Luck to you, stay strong both of you.

Please go to Al-Anon if you haven't started to already.... It will help you, him and the relationship so much. Him in AA and you in Al-Anon really helps in his recovery.....The odds of him staying sober are increased if you go to Al-Anon....

Deb

I went to Alanon meetings for years Kath. I still talk to my Alanon sponsor every week; in fact, we had lunch together Sunday. I can't tell you how much I treasure her strenth & wisdom.

I was in a situation not too different from yours once; I believed that everything I hoped for depended on my husband staying sober. I lived a life of fear & anxiety for years; he knew it, of course, & resented it. I started going to Alanon out of sheer desparation; I just couldn't live w/the strain any longer.

It took time, but I finally learned how to let him take responsibility for himself & for me to take my focus off of him & put it back on me, where it belonged. Through discussion, reading the literature & the daily meditation I realized that I was putting all of my energy into one issue & letting all of the others slide, especially the ones concerning my own character flaws. And yes, I worked the steps to the best of my ability; I learned an enormous amount about myself in doing so. I have a sense of well being today that I couldn't have imagined before Alanon; it has been a powerful healing force in my life, for which I will forever be grateful.

My hope is for the best life can offer for you & Skip; you will be in my thoughts & prayers.

Adrienne

I voted for my HOPE--which is that with counseling and/or classes, Billy can stay straight. I mean--I can't expect him to just do it on his own. Although he may, that would be nice. That's what I've done. --Helen

I agree with Al Anon. It will help you gain perspective. With support and assistance he can do it!!! The addiction will always be there. No denying that!!!!

Congrats,
Kelli

Thanks guys....for listening and supporting. I have yet to find a group where I"m comfortable...but I know it's out there....I'll keep looking.

I"m kinda freaking out now....they are releasing him, maximum supervision (no electronic monitoring) but he will be prohibited from driving, until approved by parole. He will have to make parole meetings/AA/and get to work....with no vehicle or license. I know we will figure out how to make it work...that it's all just temporary....AND, I'd rather have him home NOT driving, than locked up.....

It's great he's coming home....they just sometimes like to stack the deck against you with parole stipulations. I'm working real hard on focusing to the positive....

Keep us in thoughts/prayers...we can use all those we can get!

kath

Kath... You and Skip will "always" be in my thoughts and in my prayers!

Luv ya girl!

Originally posted by Flowerchild

I was in a situation not too different from yours once; I believed that everything I hoped for depended on my husband staying sober. I lived a life of fear & anxiety for years; he knew it, of course, & resented it. I started going to Alanon out of sheer desparation; I just couldn't live w/the strain any longer.



The problem I have with these meetings...IS...The situations they describe, like the one described above, ARE NOT ISSUES FOR ME....(an NO, this is not aimed at you Adrienne)...I'm not in fear and desparation. I know he may drink when he comes home...I hope he doesn't. I KNEW...long before AA, there is nothing I can do about it, and I REFUSE to let my life hang in balance based on the amber liquid in a glass bottle. I'll break the bottle, walk bare-footed across the glass, before I will succumb to something over which I HAVE CONTROL. Addiction to alcohol, I believe to be real. Disease? I'm not so sure...?!?!? (we already had the chemical discussion and the brain's reactions to the alcohol, making some of us more predisposed to drink/get drunk).

I think we have control over quite a few things in our life. I can't control whether or not it rains today....I can control whether or not there is alcohol in my home, my bloodstream, or anywhere in my life.

I love Skip...and I want him in my life; HOWEVER, (those who know me will laugh), I DON'T NEED HIM. Before I even knew Skip, since he's been in my life, AND since he's been gone, I have been taking care of me, doing for my children, etc. I bought a house....I have a great career...I worry for him, but I have NEVER let it consume me to the point that I can no longer function. If he doesn't stay sober...he does so WITHOUT me by his side...it's that simple.

I just don't feel like I have a lot in common with the people I've encountered so far at my meeting attempts. I'm not in denial, and I'm not bashing ANYONE who does meetings....I'm just don't think there's anything there for me.....I got the feeling from previous threads...that I would never survive Skip UNLESS I WENT TO ALANON. I dunno...I feel good about our chance at survival...and it has nothing to do with ALANON. I know the 12 steps...and Skip will do AA when he gets home...probably in "sheet-signer" capacity ONLY. Past that, I think we both feel, it's up to us...

running/ducking/waiting for the fallout from this post,
kath

Kath,
Not a good thing that I am giving my 2 cents. Obviously. I pray that you do not think you have to duck here. But if you do know AA you know that this is also a Spiritual malady. Everything working in a balance to maintaine the defense of drinking. Not our own humaness to say I will never drink. Sh&t, I did that for 19 years. Also many Alanon women do not have drinking problems themselves, they are not as independent in many areas as you. As stong thinking as you. But ther are many that are. That isn't to discount that they found identity with God's help at meetings. But they didn't have to go thru the issue of if he drank it would jeopardize their sobriety. Whenever I first went to Alanon, I did not want to identify with "those" ladies. I have found good groups though before. What you learn in Alanon, is that your life doesn't get put on hold or left hanging in a blance just cuz your alcoholic has a slip or even continues to drink. You do not buy the idea of disease. It isn't just a controlled physical disease. Like I said it is a Spritual disease too. But anyway Alanon teaches you love for the person not the "diseased" behavior he exhibits. Which he can display drunk or not.

I just know that the evil poison alcohol wrecks peoples life since it is only a symptom of the problem.

And I am happy that you will be reunited to start your lives together. God Bless You.

HONEY

The Big Book is a great book to read if you are dealing with an alcoholic...I read it and I understand a little better...I know that Craig will drink agian when he comes home and I wish that he wouldn't...I think at first it won't be so bad but I know he will go back to the way he was before he went in...I hope that counseling helps but he has been through it his whole life...

I can't vote in this poll because I just don't know. I certainly hope he won't pick up again, but really no body knows. Not even him, he may have all of the best intentions today, but tomorro is another day. Same thing with me, I can't promise that I'll be clean & sober tomorro, I think I will be, but God knows I've had good intentions in the past and when the urge got strong enough to drink or get hi I acted on it, despite all my good intentions. What I do know today that is different, is that if I keep doing what works for me, then I probably won't use or drink. Same thing goes with him, but that's between him & God. I don't think any of us can even try to predict it.

It is continually amazing to me how smart, sensitive, loving, nonjudgemental, most wonderful people addicts and those that love them are. I think it is the most difficult of lives to endure but makes us all so much better in the end. My son, who is the most addictive person I have ever known, is the kindest person on earth. I am glad to have gotten to know all of you. People who have not gone through an addicts life do not even have a clue.
Kath, you are awsome and really have it together. Rock on, girl. You will be fine. Let's hope your man can just focus on the here and now.

Oh and good luck. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Kath ... well, I didn't vote either ... just don't know what is the appropriate response ... Marcus is an addict, not alcohol being a real problem but, the drugs are ... when he got out of SAFP I would have bet my life there would not be a problem again ... and I don't think THERE WAS a problem but, there were circumstances, of which he has paid dearly, and I'm not too sure that he may not have become bitter as a result ... what I do know is, he is not the same boy/man he was before he went inside ... what this will mean in the future(?), I have no idea ... of course, I will be there to love and support him the same as you will Skip but, can we predict what tomorrow brings(?) ... I think not ... you and Skip will always be in my prayers ... although I've not met you in the flesh, I've come to know you as a sincere, honest, compassionate and STRONG woman and that is what will help Skip more than anything else ... hang tight girl, it's all good ...

trulykath,

I agree with you about meetings, i know that there is a chance that thomas will drink again but no matter how much i love him and want things to work out, i can not handle drinking around me. like you said i dont need him and what i mean is that i take care of myself completely, pay all my own bills work fulltime and i offer a life that is full to him, its his choice what he wants to do with it. i really do not worry too much about the future because i can not control it nor do i wish too. i will picking him up oct 31 in calif and yes i am nervous but i am also very excited about the new life we have been planning. i am also staying realistic and grounded because the reality is he is a alcoholic and living one day at a time is the only way it will work for us,

my prayers are with you and skip

carol

Thanks carol....one of the amazing things on this thread is the votes. There are as many of us who are confident about sobriety as the ones who aren't so sure.

I suppose in 27 days....I'll start getting my own answers....

Thanks for the input and well wishes guys,
kath

last post....27 days...now I"m down to 8....WOW....I told him how lucky he's been....he indicates he doesn't recall ever having ANY luck unless I was by his side. There IS strength in numbers!!! :)

Did I tell you guys that Skip has been in a DWI class at Mineral Wells....he doesn't say much about it....but I'm hoping he's picked up something from it. He's also been counseling a guy in his dorm. This guy did 3 years flat, DWI. He got out, but was arrested 13 days later!!!! Skip is talking to him about the alcohol, and I think it's helping them both.

I'm sure I will post more in the forum when he comes home. I'm staying strong, and above all, keeping my faith. It will all work out as it's intended to be.....you guys, if you don't mind, cross your fingers and keep us in your prayers....I think the Lord has HUGE plans for Skip....it's all good!!

kath

I'm most definitely keeping both of you in my thoughts & prayers, Kath. I believe that Skip is ready to lead a clean & sober life & is willing to do what he has to to achieve that.

Sending positive thoughts your way…

Adrienne

I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE---THAT A PERSON CAN CHANGE. I AM A RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT---BEEN CLEAN FOR A YEAR NOW---IT DID TAKE ME GOING TO PRISON TO REALIZE THAT I HAD HIT ROCK BOTTOM!!! EVERY DAY IS A CONSTANT STRUGGLE TO STAY CLEAN BUT IT DOES GET EASIER WITH TIME. I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH THE MTC PROGRAM AT STATE JAIL AND IT TAUGHT ME ALOT. THE ONE THING THAT I KNOW TO BE TRUE IS THAT YOU MUST CHANGE PEOPLE,PLACES AND THINGS!!! SOUNDS SO CLICHE BUT IT WORKS. I SOMETIMES MISS MY OLD "FRIENDS" BUT I FEEL SO GOOD TO HAVE MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL GIVE SKIP ALL THE LOVE,STRENGTH AND SUPPORT THAT HE WILL NEED TO MAKE IT!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

---BLESSED BE!!!---

I'm sure that his talking to this other guy really does help him a lot, I think it was a perfect way to end the stay in prison, a perfect reminder that it can happen to him too if he's not careful but even more important than that it really does help to try & help someone else. It is amazing to me how true that really is. You will certainly be in my prayers and I am so happy for you, please do keep us posted. We are all rooting for yall to make it, it gives us hope for the rest of us who are still waiting when we see guys come out and really do well. I am really so happy for you, so did you ever finish cleaning the house, the yard, the pool, ... when my husband got out the last time I spent a few hours getting ready, soaked in the tub for about an hour, lotion, perfume, hair, makeup, I normally don't get all primped up like that but I spent some major time on it that night. Well anyway I'm really happy for you both and I sincerely hope & pray that he can find a much better way to live, with you by his side.

I've slowed down....taking my priorities in, and I'm cleaning as I go, and counting the days out right to plan it where I've got it all done a little at a time....to finish up RIGHT on time!! LOL...

Thanks guys...I appreciate everyone's support....!!! :)

kath

I have it on pretty good authority that Skip is going to an AA meeting either tomorrow or Sunday....can I get an WOOO HOOO!!!!!?!?!?!?

LOL :)
kath

WOO HOO!!!!!

CAROL

Alright Kath! Alright Skip! That is GREAT news!!!!!! ...clapping hands and dancing... :dance:

I just love that lil dancing smiley...he cracks me up!!

I still find the poll on this thread so intriguing. As many seem to think our loved ones will be clean/sober, as do the ones who think they won't.

I wish I had some magic answer on rehabilitation. I saw what Brandy and others have gone thru. I'm so hopeful, but realistic. Obviously, we all have many challenges ahead....

You guys stay strong, take care of you, and remember...WE ARE THEIR REAL HOPE!!!

kath

I may be a little late with this but I'll put in my two cents. If you're still looking for a self-helpl group you may want to check out LifeRing. I've put a posting up about it in this category (d&a programs).

LifeRing has been a great alternative for those who 12-steps don't work. Also, their website is www.unhooked.com.

Hope all is going well.

Joe

THANK YOU!!! I have passed this on to him....!

kath

Only time will tell if they "get it" or go back.. My hubby seems to have gotten it, he actually has changed his whole aproach. I really do believe he is getting it. I know I can not be his recovery or make him keep in recovery, I can only support him choosing to be in recovery, My recovery is mine and his is his if he chooses to stay in recovery then we will make it. Its in God's hands now, my prayers are all i have, which ironically are the most powerful!
God Bless and Love and Prayers

agreed hiswife....thank you for the insight....Skip is doing very well too....he has changed his approach....and says he's done with the bars/clubs.

I approach it daily and probably will the rest of my life.....thank you for the prayers....I return those thoughts to you for you and your husband!

kath

I will also keep you and Skip in my prayers. make sure he gets in a program I think it really works although I have never been on any type of drugs I have family members that have been on drugs and that was just like me being in it just keep the prayers going and attend meeting and most of all he has to want it for him not for you that is what my mother tld me she could not get clean for me but she had to do i for her.

I can see how old some of these posts are, but I wanted to say to Kathy and skip that you two are still in my prayers and I hope when my baby gets out (6 more days!), he'll start to gain the strength to care for himself and get some help. It is never late to have hope.

Hey guys, just wanted to report in on Skip....he goes back to court tomorrow for his continuance with his occupational license (judge wanted to see him every 90 days). He's still doing really good....no drinking....and he seems VERY happy. We have 9 more months on paper, and things are looking good.

I keep seeing people vote on this poll...and it makes the post pop up ever so often. Nice to see others still participating, although it still appears to be a mixed bag on what we think our loved ones will do when they come home.....that's too bad....as it appears as many live in fear as the ones who live in confidence.

You guys keep the faith...Lord knows there are days that it isn't easy, but it does seem to get better with time!

Stay tuned!

kath

Hi TrulyKath,

i am late on joining your story, but from reading this thread you sound like a strong and loving person...i am so glad to read your most recent post...that Skip is home, and things are going well...

if you don't mind me asking, i was wondering how long you two have been together, and how long he was gone for...

i will keep you both in my hopes and prayers for continued happiness and success-
Best and peace-
francis

I shot you a PM francis.....! Thank you for your kind words!

kath

he's been home 6 months yesterday.....we have 8 more months on paper. He's working hard....we are still separated by distance (he's in Houston...I'm in Dallas)...but we see each other every chace we get....We talk EVERY nite on the phone, and spend alternating weekends together....but sometimes, in the back of my mind, it's like he's still gone in some ways. We are working hard to bring our 2 lives together, and get in the same zip code. Those who know me, know what we are battling.....it's just going to take time. My heart still aches and craves his daily presence, and I'm learning patience.

Skip is clean/sober, and he made a comment to me the other day about how much fun we have together....and he added "and we aren't even drinking." I think he's seeing....life can be so good, even without the alcohol. In nearly the last 2 years, he's only had alcohol twice. Once, right before he left, and one drink since he's been home. It's as though his desire to drink is gone, and the one he had after he got home was almost like a test of sorts. I think his mind thought he wanted it, but his heart wouldn't let him enjoy it.

He is hope....hope to all others out there who have an addiction to beat. It's a daily struggle, but IT CAN BE DONE! He is the love of my life, a hero of sorts, and I know he can do it.

You guys keep voting in the poll. It seems the number who fear "it's just too early to tell" is inching out over the rest, and this saddens me. I wish there was some way for us to know that current circumstances and incarcerations are enough, and that past mistakes will not be repeated.

Keep the faith, take care of you, and holler if you need me!!

kath

I voted "too early to tell" and that's the scary thing for all of us, I think. It's like holding your breath, just waiting to see if everything is going to be ok. Scary! My plan is my husband is going to go to a half-way house/rehabilitation center for a year before coming home. I just can't put the kids through it again if he comes home and then leaves us again to use drugs, so I'm trying to put up some stronger "boundaries" this time.
I will pray for both of you! Keep your head up & God Bless!

ebon,

It sounds like you have a solid plan. I know how hard it can be...TRUST ME...you have to put things in place and protect yourself and your children. It hurts when you love someone so much, but they can't seem to love themselves enough to see past the crutch of addiction.

I will wish all good things for you...time will tell you what to do.....I will also pass on your words to Skip...we TRULY appreciate all the support we get from PTO!!

You guys take care out there and have a great day today!! (one more down & counting!!!)

kath

I just voted...we learned our lesson. I only met Sam this year in Feb. He is in the 12 step program, but his past caught up to him and now he is serving time for it. Its alcohol related. Before he went in he had a year of sobierty, with each other and the grace of God we will get through this prison term and after that live one day at a time.
thanks for sharing Kathy

I'm really praying and hoping that the man I love stays clean this time. That is one of my fears that once he's out everything that he says will go out the window. He has to put his family first over the drinking and drugs. Where can I found out more about Alnon? I'm having a difficult time finding more info on it.

There is online Al-anon

http://www.ola-is.org/

You can also pull up local info...on yahoo....type in your area to access (ie: I typed in Texas al-anon directory and came up with multiple options).

Let me know what you find...and if you need more help!

kath

Hi, I was wondering, how do you find halfway houses for ex-offenders?
Do they assign the ex-offender to one before they get out?I think my man should go to one instead of home too. I have not asked anyone until now.
thanks for any help.

I voted "too early to tell" and that's the scary thing for all of us, I think. It's like holding your breath, just waiting to see if everything is going to be ok. Scary! My plan is my husband is going to go to a half-way house/rehabilitation center for a year before coming home. I just can't put the kids through it again if he comes home and then leaves us again to use drugs, so I'm trying to put up some stronger "boundaries" this time.
I will pray for both of you! Keep your head up & God Bless!

Just checking in Kath! How are things with you and Skip? I love the fact that this thread is so long, and I gotta tell you that as I read from page 1 to page 4 I got more and more excited for you two! It sounds like he is doing wonderful and I am very happy to hear that!
My boyfriend Robert has been home since January, and he has had his struggles but I believe that he is moving in the right direction. He had back surgery just this past Tuesday, so of course he had to be on pain meds (which he is a recovering heroin addict). He told all the doctors that he is an addict so they are very careful in what they have prescribed him. Two years ago he never would have even told the doctor that he was an addict just so he could get his hands on some prescription drugs- know what I mean? What a step in the right direction!
Addiction is definitely a one day at a time process, but it is most definitely worth it!!!
SO, again- Congrats to you and to Skip!!

I still adore when this post comes up, as I know SO many can relate to a lot of the threads in here. Update for everyone, Skip is doing AWESOME!!! He has less than 3 months left on parole (out of 13 months). He has paid all off his parole fees, and we are just marking the days off now. He is working steady and has been since he got home. By Christmas, he will be moved in with me & my kids, and he has asked me to marry him!!!!!!!!! (he still has to file those silly papers on the MIA estranged wife-LONG STORY LOL).

We are doing so good!!! He paroled out to Houston, and I'm in Dallas still, so it's been 11 months incarcerated followed by nearly a year still of ONLY weekends together. Sometimes, it's as though he's still gone, but we see each other every chance we get. In fact, he's flying up to Dallas this weekend!

I wanted to take a minute and thank everyone at PTO for their support of us. I found this site just after he left, and I stay here to do for others what was so kindly done for me. Texas is so messed up, and the PM's I get and words of appreciation are so wonderful. It's TRULY a blessing to know I can help others make their way through this.

It sounds like Robert is making tremendous progress as well, and I'm SO happy for you both. It's so strange when they finally turn that corner, and you're present to see their light bulb coming on! This is wonderful news for you both, and I'm excited for you and the progess he's making!

I will be here till I can no longer help anyone, so I'm in for the long haul :)

Will keep ya posted!
kath

Kathy,
Thanks for the update, I come here often and read the threads in this post. I can only hope and pray that Sam and I will have the same sucuss. You are a true inspiration.

In 33 days, we are done....no more parole, no more breath machine on the truck, no more limitations on driving. The occupational license will be over, and Skip can reinstate his regular driving privileges. We can move on with our future, get married, and only look behind us to remember where we came from and how we got here.

I'm reminded daily of how fortunate I am. I come to PTO, replying to PM's & reading threads. I feel everyone's pain, excitement, longing, loneliness and disappointment. I am continually amazed by the determination of people here, as some of you are going through things I'm not so sure I could personally endure.

I remember the first time I wrote a thread on PTO, asking for help. I was so lost...I felt so alone. Each breath was a struggle, and the hours when I didn't cry were good ones. The months I could handle, it was the days that killed me. Every hour turned to minutes, minutes to seconds, and there were SO many times when I just didn't know if I had to the strength to continue. Nearly 3000 posts later, I still have those days, and I often read back over some of the old threads to remind myself we have moved forward.

We are lucky, we are almost done...but behind us, there is a steady stream of others to take our place. I would encourage anyone else who feels lost to not let the hopelessness win. This WILL pass, and while it doesn't seem like it now, in most ways, we are better having traveled this road. Skip is alive today, because he got arrested. Skip is sober today, because he got arrested. Skip is a better man today, because he got arrested. Our love is stronger than it EVER WOULD have been, because Skip got arrested.

I disagree with TDCJ, and what they are doing to people, but God's plan was bigger, and I recognized almost immediately what I'd known all my life, "THIS IS GOD"S WORLD, HE JUST LETS US LIVE IN IT. "

I am not leaving PTO, I will stay till I can't help any longer. The constant PM's and questions I get tell me I'm still doing something right. I will be here as long as I can help one person find a number, try to understand an alcoholic, get their arms around the parole process, or simply vent. There is ALWAYS hope...and somedays, it's just taking little steps and getting through the day. Believe me, I DO understand....

You guys take care of yourselves....as we are their REAL hope...!!

Holler if I can help in any way,
kath

:cry::cry::cry:

Kath, you made me cry! I am so happy for you and Skip. It is one hard road some days, but you are so right about that moment when they see the light and how much it is truly God's plan. Thank you for all you do for all of us.

I loved reading your story Kathy! I'm so,so glad everything is going well for you guys!!!

It's over...it is done....

WE'RE OFFICIALLY OFF PAPER...NO MORE PAROLE!!!!!!!

WOOOO HOOOOO!!!

kath

Remember to take care of yourself Kath...you are important and you are not an extension of Skip. I wish you both success. I don't wish anybody luck because I don't believe that is a matter of luck. It's a well planned out program and living life one day at a time that leads to the brass ring...a happy life. Will keep you both in my prayers and if I can be of any help please let me know. I'm not counseling right now, but I do have a degree in Substance Abuse Counseling and am now working on one in Social Work to keep working with people with substance abuse problems and legal involvment. Anyway...take care and be happy!

Off paper! Wonderful! What a great tribute to Skip's determination! (and yours!!!)
Congratulations!!!

John hasn't even been sentenced yet he is still in county so we have a long ways to go hopefully he will learn his lesson

I still love when this thread comes back up....it reminds me of so much that Skip adn I have gone through...it's my hope...that our story gives others hope...that you can make it through...the good times and the bad....

FYI, update on us...Skip has OFFICIALLY moved in with me...he will be looking for work in and around Dallas next week....he's in construction with TONS of experience...so you guys cross your fingers for us....we are planning on getting married very soon...and it's really strange having him in the same zip code...we've come a long way and waited a long time for this!!

You guys take care of you....keep in mind at all times...we are their real hope..and all things happen for a reason, even if it's not always immediately clear why.

holler if you need me!
kath

oh congratulations! i have read this from begining to end and i am just speechless. i am TRULY..and i mean that...happy for you :)

I'm new to this community, but not to the drugs that have taken over my sister's life. :( She is currently incarcerated at Indiana State Women's Prison. They just moved her last week, she was in county jail close to home and we could visit her twice a week. I'm having a hard time with her being far away, but at the same time I know that she brought this on herself. My main concern is she will be released in mid January, at which point she will move back in with me. This is her third go around in jail, first time in prison though, I'm really hoping hitting the big time prison may scare the hell out of her. She has three children who miss her something awful, and don't understand why there mother is gone. Her drug of choice is Methadone, and Oxycontin. I can't watch her every minute of the day, and I want to trust her, but at the same time for almost 4 years now, she has done nothing but lie. She has been to Volunteers of America did a 5 month stay there, came home and 2 days later was right back where she started from. We live in a very small town and it's hard to find an Alanon meeting. I know that I have to find some time of support system and a backbone..Before she comes home and buffalo's me again. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated..Thank you Very much for listening. Jeni