Tomorrow I am visiting my pal that I have been writing the longest at Polunsky. I have been writing and visiting him for the past two years. About 9 months ago we started having issues. He was asking me to do so much for his case that it got to be so stressful on me. After repeated warnings of how stressing it was and that I couldn't do anything else at the time, I finally wrote him a nasty letter telling him that it had to stop or I was gone. He told me we would discuss it all in a visit. I visited him and instead of working it out he asked more favors of me. That was 7 months ago and I haven't seen him since. I didn't hear from him in over a month after that, and then it was once a month until May. We have been exchanging nasty letters since then. What ticked me off the most was when he wrote and told me I wasn't doing anything with my life. His birthday was not to long ago and he begged me to visit, I recieved the letter 4 days before his birthday and could not get out of work, I wrote and explained. The next letter I recieved from him was an envelope with every single picture I had ever sent him, with a note saying "If you can't even bother to see me on my birthday then we shouldn't be friends" Two weeks ago he wrote me asking to come visit him so we could end this friendship on good terms-that visit is tomorrow- I am so nervous. I haven't seen him since January and all of our letters have been rude and disrespectful to each other.

I don't even know what to say to him. I've already told myself that if he starts to get mad and disrepectful that I am going to leave then and there.
The only thing I am relaxed about is that I am visiting my close pal right after him.
Any advice? Thoughts?

OK, my two cents coming up........

A friendship should be based on one very important thing - whether the people involved are prisoners, Presidents or pig farmers - that thing is RESPECT.

If , between the two of you, you can't reach a place in your friendship where mutual respect is prominent, then maybe this is not a positive environment for either of you.

Yes, his situation is very, very difficult; Yes, he is under extreme pressure; Yes, his emotional wellbeing is important - but, and this is a BIG but, no real friend puts such pressure on another.

Perhaps you both should redraw the boundaries of your relationship and see if you can move forward from there.

Either way, have a wonderful set of visits and let us know how you get on!

Rach x

I hope that your visit goes well and that hopefully you and your friend might be able to come to some common ground and hopefullywill still be able to stay friends.

Take care
Ness