do you ever think that our loved ones on the row are stronger than we are, i have thought about this since my friend was executed last year, he told me please dont cry and dont be sad for my death because i have found peace with my creator.
another friend who is expecting his date very recently told me when my time comes dont be sad but instead celibrate my life in my memory, they are definielty much stronger than i am, just wondered if you guys ever think about those things

I think with knowing you are on death row and that day is always in the shadows they do make peace. We on the other hand don't really think about it in the nature they have to do on a daily basics. I have found myself crying just knowing where he is what may happen one day. So yes I do think they are stronger than we are because they come to terms with a lot longer than we ever could because we keep it so locked up in a different place and we don't face it everyday. That is just how I see it.

I agree with scojay. Being locked in a cell on death row for 23/24 hours a day seven days a week, 52 weeks a year etc is Im sure designed for the in mate to do nothing but focuss on their actions and of course their own death!
Acceptance of their death is a natural and I think an extrmely healthy way to deal with it.

i think you are right, i know my friend is definitley stronger than me, as i find it hard to deal with his possible up coming date, i asked him how can i not be sad or upset when they kill you, i hope and wonder if he understands how hard it is for us on the other side of the fence who love and care for them.

Elsa,

I think that they are definitely stronger emotionally than we are. As Scojay and loveandpeace said, the environment that they are housed in, I believe is designed to make them accept their impending death. And also the fact that they know that they are on death row and will one day get an execution date also makes them accept it.

Ness

I know they are stronger than I am. I listen, read and hear about what they go through day after day, let alone have the cloud of death over their head. It takes great strength and character to deal with all this. Probably, the survival techniques that they learned on the streets is what keeps them alive and sane at times.............

solitude makes one re-live and question everything , and after years it's some relief , to have peace I believe , especially with the conditions , and the abuse many go thru , it is like a rainbow after the storm , free at last !
doesn't make it easier for us , for we really don't get the concept , of the depth (( many of )) these men find behind the wall's ...

I have constantly wondered how one could cope. There are a whole lot of reasons; I feel one would be knowing that someone, somewhere cares, that someone, somewhere loves them. When a jury chooses death, they are not sentencing this person to die; they are saying they are not fit to walk this earth. That would be an immeasurable toll on any person.

Andy Dufresne, from The Shawshank Redemption, once said: Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And a good thing never dies. Perhaps he is right? All I know is that I have the utmost respect for our fellow brothers and sisters who have to live through such circumstances yet still remain strong. Some of us - including me - really do take some things for granted.

- Ben.


Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone, and that there's something inside that they can't get to, and that they can't touch. It's yours.
Red: What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne: Hope.

thanks you guys for your input to my question

Hi, please don't dwell on the negative. Be positive for your friend and send love to them through your letters. Live for today! love and peace

I once asked my fella how he lived with the awful threat that was hanging over his head. He told me that he lives for today and that tomorrow never comes. I have always admired him for his strength and I know he is so much stronger than me.
Lisax

I have a friend on DR and he is stronger than I am for sure. I wonder and worry about an impending execution date and in his letters he tries to cheer ME up. Incredible !

You know, I wrote to my friend ages ago saying how upset I was as the implications of his sentence sunk in. He wrote back saying that he could worry every day that I'm in a car accident or get diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. He said he's come to realise that we're all on our death row.
I must admit that one of the reasons he's a powerful figure in my life is because, through him, I've started to confront the fact of my own death even though I'm healthy etc. Makes the world look more beautiful & I seem to see the 'small things' as more important & try to live in the moment.

I don't believe most are "strong" in the face of death. I think they are resigned to their fate. As the years go by and the appeals run out, I think they lose hope and accept the enevitabilty of their own death. If they are spiritual in nature, perhaps they welcome the idea of heaven and eternal forgiveness, or perhaps just a release from their 23/24 cell. But I think the notion of strength if a facade.

gdogg you might be right but strength was really the only word i could think of, but i do think it takes a certain ampunt of strength to deal with that kind of situation and not to give in to the despair of their situations on a daily basis