We have been corresponding for two years and he is all I think about. When I receive his letters I can feel something special while reading them. Is it love or what???? My heart feels like it has butterflys!!!!!:heart: :heart:

love changes everythin ,how we live and how we die ..........

Is certainly sounds like your feelings for him are growing stronger. When I first started writing to my guy it was just a friendship and if anyone had told me that I would fall in love with a man that I had never met and that was on d.r I would have laughed. But as the letters flew back and forwards something changed and everytime a letter popped through my door my heart would skip a beat. Now he is my best friend, soul-mate and lover even if it is only on paper. Go with what you feel babes and enjoy it. Life is too short to hold back.
Good Luck
Lisax

I consider the man that I am writing to one of my best friends. I do love him but it's in away that most people love their friends. There is a good chance that you are starting to have feelings for him and if so then you need to share those with him. When I first started writing to him I didn't think for a second that I would get so attached to him the way that I have. There is not a day that goes by that I am not wishing that when the mail comes there is a letter in there. The feeling that I get is undescribale. So if you think you are falling in love, first make sure that is what you really want and then talk to him about it and see if he feels the same way. That is my only advice for you.

Is certainly sounds like your feelings for him are growing stronger. When I first started writing to my guy it was just a friendship and if anyone had told me that I would fall in love with a man that I had never met and that was on d.r I would have laughed. But as the letters flew back and forwards something changed and everytime a letter popped through my door my heart would skip a beat. Now he is my best friend, soul-mate and lover even if it is only on paper. Go with what you feel babes and enjoy it. Life is too short to hold back.
Good Luck
LisaxI appreciate and needed you positive words. Thank you!!!!!!!:)

I consider the man that I am writing to one of my best friends. I do love him but it's in away that most people love their friends. There is a good chance that you are starting to have feelings for him and if so then you need to share those with him. When I first started writing to him I didn't think for a second that I would get so attached to him the way that I have. There is not a day that goes by that I am not wishing that when the mail comes there is a letter in there. The feeling that I get is undescribale. So if you think you are falling in love, first make sure that is what you really want and then talk to him about it and see if he feels the same way. That is my only advice for you.Thank you for the advise. I would love to share with him how I feel and at the same time I'm scared.

I would say just be honest with him. I was scared too. Due to his siutation, I felt like I needed to tread very lightly. Looking back now though, I wish I hadn't waited so long to express my feelings. I was concerned about how I would be able to handle it, if I would get lonely or if anyone would understand. I wasn't even sure he'd feel the same way. Now, I love him so much that those things aren't an issue. He writes me every day, so it's like a little after-work talk even if it is on paper. Honesty is about the best gift I believe you can give someone and it never hurts to let someone know you care about them.

I think all the advice you got is excellent. I would say however to remember anything that you say to him will mean so very much to him and you really need to be sure and to know what it will mean for the furture. I am not trying to say don't do it I am just saying its a lonely road and you need to be prepared for that. Good luck and I hope it all goes well.

I sincerely appreciate everyone's comments!!!! That is what's so good about this forum, everyone here has something in common. THANK YOU!!!!!

The relationship I have with my guy started the same way. I never thought that I could love someone the way that I love him. It's a wonderful feeling. He is what keeps me going. Good luck. I do believe this is love that you're feeling.

I have found myself in the same situation and feel exactly as all you girls do. My pal was on my mind so much that I couldnt even eat at times. I'm a martial artist by profession and at one point all I could think of was my pal sitting there on DR and how much I felt for him. So much so, that during a kick boxing sparring match, my partner kicked me in the face!! :) I then said to myself that I had to tell him how I felt otherwise I was going to get my arse kicked!!!! Well, I tried to write me feelings for him in the first letter but got myself in such a mess that I had no idea in the end what I wrote :) He seemed to get the message though and admitted that he was starting to really care for me and I noticed that in that particular letter he referred to me, for the first time, as 'his girl' and 'my baby'. Talk about making my heart skip a beat!!! Anyway, he also wrote that I shouldnt be afraid or nervous to tell him how I felt and that I should take a "leap of faith" as I may have a pleasant surprise. So, letter number 2 was posted last night and I really went for it this time etc. Told him everything. I just hope I havent gone toooooooo far. Boy, do I love this man :)

Lorraine

Girl Wake Up And Move On You Can Love Him And He Can Love You But The Reality Is Its Just A Fantasy Think About It What Can A Man On Death Row Have To To Contribute To Your Life. Not Only Is He In Jail But He Is On Death Row He Aint Coming Home To You And Think About What He Did To Get On Death Row . I Beleive Every Human Being Is Forgiven By The Lord Jesus Christ But Has He Even Asked To Be Forgiven For His Sins. To Each Is Own All Im Saying Is You Sound Like A Loving Person And Its Ok To Love The Question Is Can He Love You The Way You Supposed To Be Loved? Think About It Falling In Love With Someone On Death Row Is Just Like Falling In Love With Someone Whom Is Dead Or On Another Planet You Will Never Be With Them Phisically. Your Living A Fantasy Get A Real Man With All These Fish In The See Girl Live Your Life.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Girl Wake Up And Move On You Can Love Him And He Can Love You But The Reality Is Its Just A Fantasy Think About It What Can A Man On Death Row Have To To Contribute To Your Life. Not Only Is He In Jail But He Is On Death Row He Aint Coming Home To You And Think About What He Did To Get On Death Row . I Beleive Every Human Being Is Forgiven By The Lord Jesus Christ But Has He Even Asked To Be Forgiven For His Sins. To Each Is Own All Im Saying Is You Sound Like A Loving Person And Its Ok To Love The Question Is Can He Love You The Way You Supposed To Be Loved? Think About It Falling In Love With Someone On Death Row Is Just Like Falling In Love With Someone Whom Is Dead Or On Another Planet You Will Never Be With Them Phisically. Your Living A Fantasy Get A Real Man With All These Fish In The See Girl Live Your Life.

100 percent agree!

Girl Wake Up And Move On You Can Love Him And He Can Love You But The Reality Is Its Just A Fantasy Think About It What Can A Man On Death Row Have To To Contribute To Your Life. Not Only Is He In Jail But He Is On Death Row He Aint Coming Home To You And Think About What He Did To Get On Death Row . I Beleive Every Human Being Is Forgiven By The Lord Jesus Christ But Has He Even Asked To Be Forgiven For His Sins. To Each Is Own All Im Saying Is You Sound Like A Loving Person And Its Ok To Love The Question Is Can He Love You The Way You Supposed To Be Loved? Think About It Falling In Love With Someone On Death Row Is Just Like Falling In Love With Someone Whom Is Dead Or On Another Planet You Will Never Be With Them Phisically. Your Living A Fantasy Get A Real Man With All These Fish In The See Girl Live Your Life.

{{SIGH}}}}:shake: another one who seems to think they know it all.

I don't think it is "being a know it all" to agree with the above statement.

To begin a relationship with a man on death row means that you will never, ever, be able to be with him in the free world. Most likely, he is going to die within a few years. Depending on the woman's beliefs, whether the man has repented for his crime is important.

Those are all facts! Whether a woman wants to go ahead and sign up for that is her decision, but these are things that are important to consider.

I don't think it is "being a know it all" to agree with the above statement.

To begin a relationship with a man on death row means that you will never, ever, be able to be with him in the free world. Most likely, he is going to die within a few years. Depending on the woman's beliefs, whether the man has repented for his crime is important.

Those are all facts! Whether a woman wants to go ahead and sign up for that is her decision, but these are things that are important to consider.

I do consider it a "know it all" when anyone that tries to tell other's about a certain type of relationship when they themselves do not have a clue as to what the relationship is about.

I'm with you on that one Joy!! Never Judge A Person Until You Have Walked A Mile In Their Moccasins...............

if you were in love, you wouldnt need to ask

if you were in love, you wouldnt need to ask

Very well said. :thumbsup:

love takes lots of different shapes and forms and if he is making you happy then you do what you feel is right never mind what anyone else says. it has to be your decision

Hmm I agree with both sides!!!
You will never be able to be with him but at the same time it's your choice who you give your heart to.....
I think just take it slow, close your eyes, breath and let your heart lead the way.

I do consider it a "know it all" when anyone that tries to tell other's about a certain type of relationship when they themselves do not have a clue as to what the relationship is about.

That's a very narrow view to take, especially on a forum where people claim to have an open mind. I'd say that she like most level headed people know about those sort of relationships, what's there not to understand? I don't consider her a know it all, she's just pragmatic. One also do's not have to walk in the preverbial "other persons shoe" as some of you claim, to realize what others mean or feel empathy. It's all about common sense and life experiences however there are those who will always take it a step further...if I had a dollar for every woman who has said; "we started out as pen pals"..."if anyone had told me I'd fall in love with a death row in mate" or "I was the last person you'd expect to fall in love with a death row inmate".

All in all I'm sure it will make for interesting conversation when she mentions to people her boy friend or husband is on death row...there again may be not.

Interesting conversation is an understatement :) I have a white collar job with kids in private school. Everything about me screams conservative. People are always intrigued my my hand-written letters that I read at lunch break. When they ask, I tell and it really leaves them scratching their heads at times. It isn't for everyone, that's for sure. I saw a quote once that said "Love isn't blind, it just sees what matters." I really liked it, though I can't remember the author. It is possible to love someone in these circumstances and still life a beautiful, fulfilling life. A man on death row has reached a low that many of us can't even imagine. That circumstance requires (not all of them) them to peel away the superficial layers, to face issues and question their life. Witnessing that in another individual does create a strong bond-whether it be romatic love or a deep friendship. I can say that I'm a better person for my experience, and am very thankful for it. I have to admit though, it did go against my logical Virgo nature. Oh well :)

My heart is mine to give to whom I choose. And no one has the right to tell me otherwise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lorraine

I fell in love with my DR penpal and thank the Lord every day for the blessing of loving/being loved by this exceptional man. My joy is full as is my heart and life.

Come on us women are All romantics at heart and lets face it that is something men of today lack. A good old fashioned heartfelt letter is the key to a womans heart! Is it so wrong for two people to share such a beautiful thing? Okay its not practable and it will never reach a true reality, but if it brings some love and warmth into his cold d/r cell and some magic into my life, then BRING IT ON!

Come on us women are All romantics at heart and lets face it that is something men of today lack. A good old fashioned heartfelt letter is the key to a womans heart! Is it so wrong for two people to share such a beautiful thing? Okay its not practable and it will never reach a true reality, but if it brings some love and warmth into his cold d/r cell and some magic into my life, then BRING IT ON!

I prefer real magic and not something that is a fantasy that will never come to fruit.

I prefer real magic and not something that is a fantasy that will never come to fruit.

What is one persons fantasy may be another persons reality.
Like my DR man said "we don't find love it finds us".

Set the alarm clock. Wake me up. Do you really mean I could, I should, move on and leave the dead end death row relationship thingy that has been pure unbearable torture for me? Thank you, had you not brought that to my attention, I would have remained clueless to all the other super duper wonderful exciting opportunities available to me.

Well, golly gee silly lame a** me. What the hell am I thinking to stay by the man I love, keep my word, and support him when times get tough? When I could go hang out at Starbucks, have lengthy meaningless pointless conversations with self-centered opinionated know-it-alls that avoid dealing with their own issues by running around trying to fix everyone else's. Or I could get real lucky, bring home a walking disease at 2am stumbling drunk, have his 4th child as his third unlucky one-night-was-too-many-stands, and get in line behind his others to collect my back child support.

Where do I sign up? Sorry, I'd rather chew glass and gargle with Draino, but thank you so much for the opportunity.

I couldn't leave him even if I wanted to. He has me on a very short leash and some very compromising photos, if ya know what I mean, that he threatens to go public with. How would I become Govenor then? If I leave him, then I will be just like every other single person in his life. Though being a fair weathered friend and lover that splits and turns my back when someone I profess my love too was one of my goals in life, as usual, yet again I failed to achieve my objective. Dammit, I am such a loser.

If conventional marriage was all it was cracked up to be, divorce wouldn't be an epidemic. There is no denying that this stand by your man thing is hard and very trying at times. And yes, I know he will never come home. I will do my best to pick up the slack and periodically scratch my crotch, take out the garbage, and watch Girls Gone Wild. But thank you for the news flash, cause I really thought the good old nail file in the cake thing was gonna work this time. Bummer, cause I planned that we'd be in marriage group therapy with everyone else by next spring.

Ladies, I am blonde, not brain dead. I can actually twist my hair, smack my gum while batting my eyes and contumplating why people are so eager to teach me their idea of living my life correctly, all at the same time. I actually get by just fine now and then, but your concerned friendly advise is duely noted. And it helped remind me of how some people should decide what is best for themselves and let other adults do the same without belittling them or attempting to correct their choices by converting them to theirs. Especially if it has no direct effect on them what so ever.

But if any women or men out there feels sorry for me and the hard times ahead, and you want to support me as a fellow woman, as a person, in a positive way, then your prayers are welcome and appreciated. I also accept personal checks and fine jewelry.

I am in love, in a loving marriage, with the reality he is my fantasy and we fantasize with each other to avoid reality making us insane. So please hit the snooze button, cause I am ok living this dream.

Common sense sounds more like copping out and having no individual thought or experiance unless it is pre-stamped by the republican party and with everyone's approval. No adventure. Unless it is germ free and sanitary you won't touch it, and you will never feel what is really alive and invigorating out there. Brainwashed and boring. And if anyone wants to know how to have sex and physical intimacy without bringing him home, email me. As far as if ya had a dollar for everyone who says, we stared out as penpals, money can't buy you love. It can buy you sex, but not love. I don't think money would help anyone to be open minded and not so sheltered with fear of doing/living unless it has a guarentee by Enron. Let me be open to unconventional colorful spirited love that makes you so giddy and excited it kicks all forms of logic and common sense's ass. It won't effect you, I promise. Let me be so fricken in love my body tingles all over when I hear his name or think of his sensual smile and warming eyes. Imagine the wives of soldiers suddenly sent to fight in a war. Common sense would prevent them from ever dating an enlisted man. Common sense would rob them of living, loving, and experiancing their life, in their own way. Let me live it reckless, carefree, and balls out cause life is to short to not feel and live just cause you are afraid of what is or isn't the sure thing and guarenteed. By the way, that relationship comes with a guarenteed mistress, or divorce cause there isn't any love in a quarenteed marriage. But those prearranged make you his domestic love slave I here is guarenteed. Let me be the first to say common sense is just a way to do what everyone else tells ya to do, and I reject and throw away common sense today on principal alone. Cause that chicken play it safe crap is so Un-Becoming of a woman in the 21st century. It builds character, and even better, you will be the only one at Starbucks engaged in an interesting conversation.

This is not meant to be snotty to the women who posted the wake up thing and the ones that agreed. I am making a point that I am already aware of everything you said. For those new to a death row relationship in here asking for advise, you stated the obvious and now have thrown only a negetive spin in their face with no hope, faith, options, or love included. Imagine if people did that to Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley after they announced they would be together forever and kissed on MTV. They would be......ooopps.

Take care and this was written light and semi-sarcastic not mean and nasty, so please don't take it that way.:p

LOL-
J. Garcia

Absolutely well said thursdaygirl, i take my hat off to you girl.

thursdaygirl - that is an absolutely brilliant post!

More power to you!

Great post!!!

My guy isn't on death row or anything, but it may be quite a long time before we are able to be together again. Okay, maybe not by some standards, but by mine we are looking at at least another 2 years or so. But, I must say that i get more attention, love and appreciation from him now than i ever did from anyone out here. Having to base a relationship on letters, phone calls and rare visits really does make you appreciate the time together that you have. Who knows how long we are on this earth anyway. Isn't it better to find the right person and show and feel love in the best way you know, then to keep searching and never find that kind of love in this so called "real world outside". I'll take this warped kind of love anyday over nice normal garden variety companionship. I have tried dating and nothing came close to the love I feel with him. NOTHING.... so i guess i will wait as long as it takes. The only thing i would dare to say is take is slow until you are sure he is as serious about love as you are. He is definitely in a delicate situation and there are quite a few players in prison who use this situation to gain pity and money from naive women willing to give it to them.

you heard it all before but hey well said ..................