Well, to make a long story short, my husband is home, and very much acting like he wants to return. Could he be lonely for those khakis after just 3 days? I think so. He is not acting at all like I thought he would.

I can see the same old sh** already. Guess it is just a matter of time until he fires one up again. Sorry for my sarcasm, but I am pissed and hurt.

I honestly don't believe he was in long enough to need an adjustment period. Hell, I am starting to wonder if he was in long enough at all. Ya know what I mean?

Sick, and disheartened,

Brandy, we've already talked some tonight but I just wanted to reiterate that I am thinking of you and hoping for the best, and am pulling for you to have the strength to stay strong thru this and remember all that stuff about taking care of YOU we've been talking about forever now. I know I could so easily be in your shoes - I hope not, as Brian has said time and time again how he intends to never set foot in prison ever again once he's out, and how much he wants a life without the captivity of drugs and booze. But like all who love an addict/alcoholic - I know it could happen. But then Brian's been in there for 13+ years and been an addict for getting close to 20... he's had an awful long time to get sick of both prison and drug addiction. I know what you mean.

If he's really starting to fall back into old habits, maybe he'll wake up before it's too late, Brandy, I really hope so. One thing I do know - YOU can't MAKE him wake up. You gotta take care of you, and your son.

Is there any chance at all you can get him to an AA or NA meeting nearby?

Hang in there and be strong, sweetie - remember, you didn't CAUSE it, you can't CURE it, and you can't CONTROL it, as they say - if he's going to give into the sickness (both his addictions and his reliance on prison) don't let it make YOU sick too. You've gotten too strong in his absence to let this kick you down if he's gonna go down. Don't let him drag you down with him, if that's what's happening.

We're here for you - keeping fingers crossed, love ya & hugs -

Lys

Hey Lady,

I so sorry that after all this time of waiting that things are not working out for you. My biggest fear is that i will be in your shoes when my honey get home. You know sometimes it's good to stand by a man, but sometimes you got to know when to though in the towel. Don't let him drag you down. Take care of your self first. Keep me posted

Brandy,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree completely and totally with Lys - she's offered you some valuable words of wisdom.

I'm scared to death I'll be in your shoes in a month.

((HUGS)) and you're not alone. We're here for you.

Brandy.....Lysbeth said it for all of us. Just know that you aren't alone in this and we will be here for you no matter what.

I will keep him in my prayers as well as you.

Sally

awww man girl!! i am sooo sorry for you. I hope things start looking up for you. But you have to be strong and dont let him push your buttons. you have to follow your heart and instincts.

Best of luck to you!!!

Maria

When I was in prison one of my counselors told us.....if you always do what you always did, you're always going to get what you always got.

I can't imagine how disappointed and frustrated you are. Lys gave you some wonderful and loving advise. I will keep the both of you in my thoughts an prayers.

Brandy... My Little sis... You know how I feel about all of this~ And just as we both have said Lysbeth is a God Send...listen to her sweetie! She gave you some great words there! (((HUGS)))

I am so sorry for this...I feel like I will be in your shoes soon myself, we all have doubts. Good luck and keep us posted.

Brandy, I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, I have been away and did not even know he was home. I pray he will get right and do right.

Brandy....

My heart is achin for ya....I so wish for things to look up and improve. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I want you to stay strong. Remember....the only man you can change....IS ONE IN DIAPERS!!! :)

Take care of you...and above all, protect yourself. Don't internalize blame and know you are worth him doing right by. He has to choose that path, and hopefully, he will....

love ya girl,
kath

SCLady-
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I'm so so scared of the same thing happening with me. So how long was he in for??? Did he tell you that he was going to change, but didn't?? Because next month my man is suppose to be up 4 parole and I'm not sure if he has been in for long enough either, just wanted to know how long your husband was in????? You and your husband are in my prayers and I wish luck for the both of you.
love Always````
Samantha

me and my hubby been dreaming about him coming home since hes been locked up since 4 long years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brandy, I am so sorry you have to go through this, I wish I could wring his neck for you and make him snap out of it. I am going through something similiar, but he's not my husband, so I imagine it's much harder for you. I hope everything works out for you!!!!!

P.S. Just curious, how old is your hubby, asking because my friend is 21, so I find myself thinking that is what is making him act the way he is. Just a thought.

Brandy,

I am really sorry for all you are going through and can only hope and pray that it gets better and that hubby see's it before it's too late to go back and wish it hadn't been that way. Unfortunately, we can't make someone change or want to change. Just take care of YOU and that prescious boy and put one foot in front of the other one.

I hope to god that I won't be in your same position once my baby finally comes home to me. This is his second time going to prison (the first time I was not with him) and his mother is starting to give up on him I think. He keeps finding trouble behind walls as well, but this last time I think has finally "broke" him. He has lost all gain time and even possibly facing more time now before even serving this sentence! I think it all happened for a reason, and as much as it hurts I feel it is going to work out in his best interest. My greatest fear is that he will go back after I have waited all this time. I don't want to end up like his ex-wife regretting her waiting time. I haven't lost faith in him, and I have seen changes...so I pray he comes home this time to me and ready to do it "right" this time around.

Brandy, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I know that you know some or part of my story with Trey, and I am not sure if you read my latest posts, but Trey went back to jail after being arrested for doing another burglary (which is what he was in for in the first place). He's been in for about 2 weeks now ... wonderful. If you think that he's getting into something that he can't handle, please try and get him help before it's too late. I never thought that Trey would go back there, and now we are sitting wondering how long he will have to sit this time..... It's so sad. Good luck!!

Brandy... I am late in seeing this... sorry about that! How are things going? Is he doing any better yet?
Just know that you both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jodygirl

Brandy, it is an adjustment for our loved ones when they come home. Patience and understanding is needed; however, we can not allow their choices, bad attitude and manipulation to control or dictate our destiny; because bad company can change and or control good behavior.

It is evident that you've been patient and have sacrificied, but it is up to you to choose when the compromising stop.

What ever you do, we support you.

((hugs)) My thoughts are with you... Are you going to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon? It helps....

Deb

I just can't even imagine the thought of me saying that my baby's time might not have been enough. I am real sorry things aren't what you wanted them to be. We want to hope that they want to change for the better once they're released and back home. That's probably why we question ourselves if all the waiting is really worth it. Your man might just be handling the fact that you survived without him and you can probably do it on your own either way so he might be figuring out how to deal with his insecurities in the only way he knows how. Don't jump to conclusions its only been 3 days since he came home. Just give him some reassurance (I know our men can be such babies :) I don't know how long he was in for but I'm sure its a hard adjustment for him and you both. Who ever said patients is a virtue? Good luck to you.