Hello all. I was wondering has anyone had experience in an inter-cultural relationship? D is half black and half white and I am Mexican indian (well I don't like saying indian because really I mean indigenous from the Tlalaztecan people). I know there is a major concept that the Mexican people don't have indigenous people still alive, but I guess I'm living proof. I dance with a Mexica group and we have ceremony and also, sometimes we get invited to pow wows and dance for the people. I try to explain what it is I believe, how important dance and ceremony is to me and what they mean. But I'm not sure if he really understands. I wonder if any one has experience dealing with the culture clashes. Especially since, in my culture there are certain expcectations for men and women and children.

Am I making sence to anyone here? Or does it sound like I'm saying blah blah blah.

You make sense to me. I think probably unless he chooses to actually take an active interest in learning about your culture and how it affects your beliefs, you won't be able to see him fully understanding. You can probably reach a compromise, though, if you both want the relationship to work. Does he identify more with his white or his African American ancestry. Maybe you could offer to learn more about his culture if he's willing to learn more about yours.

Hi, Precious!

toi_ama has made an excellent point...It is my belief that you can learn a lot from each other through the history of your cultures. As in any relationship, communication is key...you might want to consider initiating an ongoing dialogue with your guy, to help him learn more. It may very well be the case that he isn't fully aware of the meaning behind your traditions, but you have the power to change that ;)

My boyfriend Shawn is Lakota Sioux...I am always asking questions about his people and their ceremonies and traditions, and I recognize their significance in his life. I find Native American ideaology not only fascinating, but beautiful and, on some level, comforting. In turn, he is curious about my French-Canadian ancestry, and we share a lot of stories about our heritages.

I've met many indigenous Mexicans over the years, mainly the Mayan people (whose culture I've studied since my early 20's) of the Yucatan...and they are the sweetest, friendliest folks you'd ever want to know.

I, for one, would be thrilled to learn more about your dance group!

Susan in Providence

~~Mayan dancers in Playa del Carmen, Mexico~~

Thank you for your replies. You can learn more about my danza group at www.mexica.ws . Thanks for inquiring. As far as D is concerned. He doesn't identify at all with his caucasian ancestry. I myself am 1/3 Swedish, but I don't know anything about that part of my culture because I wasn't raised to know much about it. Anyway, I send him stories and pictures of my people and our history and about the political struggles we face in the indigenous communities. And I try to show him similarities between our cultures. But he doesn't respond to them, just tells me to continue to write him... The reason I'm worried is because I find that I worry more about the purity of our water, the sanctity of our earth, the welfare of the people, preservation of culture, traditions, and language. And he is concerned with many things most Americans are concerned about. When I cry because a thousand year old spring was destroyed to build a road, I don't think he understands why I mourn.

Thanks again. I'll keep trying. Its hard too, because I have had offers of marriage from many indigenous men that I have known and I turn them down because I love D. But I wonder and I have some doubt if I'm making the right choice. In the end, I know my heart is with D and no other. But it is difficult.:cuffs:

Those Mayan dancers look very similar to Mexica... It almost looks like they are dancing Ollin (movement) which is a dance we do before and after any other dance.. There are several variations of Ollin...