My question too all of you is the relationship that you are in now different than any other? In your eyes not the eyes of the DOC!

My answer to that is that YES/NO! Yes cause i am not only dating him like i have others i am married to him and love him much more than any other man I have ever met in my life.. * yea i know its a run on sentence :D * People make their comments but you know what to hell with them .. This is my life

NO- because he is just like any other man and in my eyes i dont see a white man . I see a man who loves me and cherishs everything about me. I see someone whom I argue with and in the end we dont scream we talk it out. I see someone who is a great husband and a father no matter the distance that is put between us.. I see the man who I call my soulmate , my bestfriend, my lover, and my husband..I see someone who made a mistake and has learned from it.. I see someone who i am willing to spend the rest of my life by his side without any hesitation

YES!!! Life with my husband is completely differant than with any other man. The only way that I could say no is that I have always dated black men but my husband is definantly differant than all of my previous relationships.

My life with my boo is different. Not because he is black, but because he is the only man that has ever treated me like he loved me, and not like a piece of property or a business partner or a punching bag, etc...

It is different also, in the sense that I have to live without his physical presence right now.

He is my one and only true love.

Wow! Great thread! I would have to def say this is very different then any other relationship i have been because of the things stated above and b/c this is the only person that I know that is in this situation and is still a real man - and what i mean by this is - he is never concerned about him - oh sure there are times where he acts like a baby - what man doesn't in or out of prison - but he is 100% interested and concerned with my and our kids well being ALL THE TIME and we don't have children together. He makes sure he is doing what he can at 338 miles away to be supportive, loving, a good husband, and father....This is the only man that i ever truley WANTED to marry - and the only person bar my son that i have lived my life thinking how each decision/choice i make will affect OUR lives....i have never been in love like this before and i can't say i would change anything about it - other then him physically being here of course.

Well - Yes Because -

First - He Is My One And Only Soulmate.

Second - He Is The First Man To Love Me For Me And Respect My Total Being. We Dont Argue, We Sit Down And Discuss Things That Come Up.

Third - He Makes Me Feel Like I Am The Most Beautiful Woman On Earth.

I Love You Pape!!!

yes, he is very different from any other man i've ever been with in a myriad of ways (too many to really list lol). racially, yes he is still different from me, but different is a good thing...and i wouldn't have it any other way.

I was meaning is it truly different being in an interracial relationship than a non interracial relationship..

The only difference I notice is from other people. I never was the center of attention and now I am when I am with my husband. People just stare at us and make remarks. My husband says to give em what they don't want and just ignore it. He says they must be devils if they hate us and they don't even know us.

that is a very good way to put it .. i will have to use that ..cause that is true .. how can you judge someone when you dont know anything about them but from what you see.. Its like the old saying dont judge a book by its cover ..

susansmoaks-I agree totally!! My man is white and I am black. My ex hysband is white and my daughters are interracial. AND truly the ONLY problem HAS to be with others!!!

In my life there was never an issue of "race" just a guy I dated...and nothing more. So I have not really experiaenced dating any other "race" HOWEVER, I have found wonderful, caring, loving, etc AS WELL AS scum, disrespectful, a**holes, etc. in the white men I have come accross. So in my opinion...tere is probably not a difference

i say yes, it's different being in an IR relationship than a non IR relationship. i face even more comments and remarks being with him and choice family members on his side than i would had i been with someone my own race. i also integrate his culture into our household now, and that's different, everything from what i eat some days to what music i listen to is different. my youngest daughter looks nothing at all like a black child and people look at us together and ask me if i am her sitter. now all of my children are IR, but my youngest daughter is the only child i have that is partly caucasian, so her look is very different from ALL of us! so yes, it is different for me being in an IR relationship than it is me being in a non IR relationship. i also feel that i fall and a few others fall too, on the flip side of the coin, as i am black and he is white. usually you see it the other way around...she is white and he is black.

My man is so black. I love the exotic difference this makes. Although my love is deep enough where I see the man not just the color. Still it makes for lots of fun. Being different from each other can be such a turn on. Loving a man of a different race helps me be a better person. It's sexy, it's hot and i feel that its god who puts love for a black man in a white chicks heart and Its god who lets a black man open up his heart to a white girl. I feel so blessed. :yes:

Part of me understands this question, part of me doesn't. I don't truly understand why race is an issue. Maybe this is because I myself am bi-racial, 1/2 white 1/2 filipino. I have received questions my whole life about what race I am. Not that it ever bothered me, I am very proud of my heritage.

I don't know if anyone considers myself and Kenny an inter-racial couple. He is white and I am what I am. I know he has been asked questions as to my racial background, not in a demeaning manner, just curiosity.

I never pay any attention to the racial makeup of any couple I see. It is so common anymore, I just don't understand what the big deal is I guess. I hate to see race as an issue in anything.

I don't think we help to make this issue go away when we accentuate or draw attention to the fact that there is a racial difference. We are all just people, the only difference is the color of our skin. We may bring a different perspective on things due to our upbringing and our heritage, but underneath all that we are still just people with our own strange little pecadillos and characteristics.

I guess in my dreams I would love to see where race could become a non-issue someday, but perhaps this is being too optimistic?

hey Great Thread Ewife,of Course My Relationship With My Husband Is Way Different From Any Other I Have Been In For One I Have Never Done Time With Anyone Else,the Love We Have Is Unconditional And Very Strong,i Have Never Loved Nor Been In Love With Anyone As I Do My Husband As Far As Being Different Because Of The Race,thing Nope A Man Is A Man,theres Good And Bad In All Of Us Period!

The only difference I find was other people. Other than that all my relationships have been different..blk/wht...wht/wht! People are people. U just have the RUDE ones that need to learn how to mind thier business.

I would have to say that it is deff different. Not in my eyes but in the eyes of others. Living in a small country town and with my family the way they are it is different. Hard, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love him to much to ever take what they say into consideration.
~Heather.

My relationship is very different from the other's this is the only relationship I've loved and was truly loved back, I've known my honey
since I was a kid and I would trade him for any "FREE" man I know.

Well I'm black and he's white and we dated before he was incarcerated. People didn't necessarily treat us differently. However we did get stares. We just attributed it to us being the cutest couple ever. As for noticing a big difference, I really haven't. The main difference is I love this man so much, the fact that he's white is just a matter of genetics. What can I say, we both have "jungle fever" :)

CRANKY-I will "toast" to that!!!

There are a lot more outside influences to deal with in an interracial relationship. Seems like a lot of people feel like they have a right to put their opinions into something that is none of their business. It also takes a certain amount of strength to deal with the extra scrutiny and attention you seem to attract in public. I have been briefly involved with 2 different men that were extremely uncomfortable with the stares and could never really relax when we were in public together ... it was the first time they had been in an interracial relationship

:heart: YES :heart: I can't go into our long draw out story.
I should write a book it would be interresting for sure. Kenny
is my best friend, my soul-mate, my better-half and my world.
We have learned alot from each other and will continue too.
:heart:

I have been married twice in my life so far. My first ex husband is white and my second ex husband is black. I had two children with my 1st ex and 1 child with my 2nd ex. I am current in a relationship with a black man now. The ages of my kids are 17, 15, and 13. The relationship itself is no different as far as race goes except that I love the guy I am with now more then I ever thought I could love another man. Yes other people who I have learned not to allow to influence my relationship with their prejudices and biases are not apart of my relationship. They have their opinions yes and they even may be close family members but they do not have anything to do with my relationship with my man. The last time I checked I am the one who writes, accepts calls, gets letters from him and deals with our ups and downs of every day life they don’t. They just have an opinion and it may or may not fit my opinion but that is ok. As far as outside influences go, I learned a long time ago I cannot change people and I don’t have enough energy to try. I have a multi-cultural family and I as a parent teach my children about all cultures and that we are a part of the human race no matter what other people believe. It doesn’t matter what race you date or fall in love with as long as the person you date treats you with love and respect. I teach them to use their own mind and do not be influenced by things other people believe. We are a family skin color aside. They all are my children and they tell people who ask in disbelief how you can be brothers and sisters because you are not the same color they just respond we all came from our mother stomach that’s how. LOL I cant wait until the day where race and diversity is not an issue.

Thanks for sharing yall answers .. I do appreciate everyone views ..

i remember when i first met my boyfriend (he's mexican, i'm white) i wanted to be with him. he has the most gorgeous eyes and smile! i know that i had my own hesitations about if we would be able to have a good relationship because of our different races. i didn't know if we would have the same things in common or if there would be problems from his family. i was worried that his family wouldn't approve of him dating a white girl. but once we actually started being together, i noticed we didn't have any of the problems i thought at first we might have. we can talk about anything and we have the same sense of humor (that's saying a lot, mexican or white because i have a weird sense of humor sometimes!) when i met his family, i was so nervous, but they took me right in! even now, his mom invites me over for all the family functions and they're all very supportive of me. it's kind of funny though, before he got locked up, people would literally come up to me and ask me if he was a drug dealer! he wasn't then and never was before. but i asked someone why they thought that and they told me, you look like a pretty little white girl and you're with this mexican who's all thugged out driving a cadillac. lol, i thought that was so funny!

but to answer the actual question, once i got over my own "ideas" about it, our relationship wasn't that different to me or to him.

I dont see any difference.. ( He is black & I am white ) But I can say that my baby loves me & treats me better than any other... No bickering, No disrespect Nothing bad.. He loves me for me and treats me like a queen and he is the king.. The only thing that has ever been different is ignorant and close minded people with their looks & snooty comments.. But hey everyone has their hang ups lol ... I love my baby & he loves me and together we see no color only love ........

I don't find it different being in an interracial relationship. Except he treats me better then anyone else ever has. But that has nothing to do with his race. I see him as a person not a black guy I am with. I think the only way it could be different is if you were dating someone based soley on their race.

He is puerto rican and i am black. Our racial differences dont bother us and thats all that matters.

It is different in how you are treated by society, and what other people think about you and your marriage, which like it or not, does affect us as individuals and affects our relationship. Especially for people who are not of color, when they get into an IRR, they have a completely different perspective, because they are now treated like a minority. I come from a mixed family, so I don't know anything else other then IRR.

one_luv, that is so true. I didn't ever see how much racism and stereotyping there was until I was with a black man. Being with him has taught me so much and it is something you cannot learn from a book.

When you love your man, that love sees no colour. I have been in realationships with white men and black men and the love was good. But then along came Hispanic love and boom, my life exploded!! I am typing and my hands are shaking cause thats the way I get when I talk about my papi. Not sure what it is, but that man makes me WEAK!! When he says my name it sounds so dam good. I had better stop here, things are happening!!

I agree. I fell in love with my husband for the man he is. When I look at him I don't even realize, or think about our different race. We are so insink with one another that I forget about the fact that we have an inter racial marriage until something such as this thread brings it up.

I went to a very diverse school, and fortunately there wasn't a lot of racism; we were all accepted for who we were. Which is amazing considering the fact that my mother came from a small farm town in Missouri, and had never seen a black, or hispanic person until she was 21. I have dated white, black, and hispanic men and never dated any of them with their race in mind.

Yes! like many he is my soul mate, He's so different that sometimes i ask myself how did i get to be so lucky!!!! He means the world to me and i only have 7 1/2 months to go!!!!!!:D

~MsDip~

I dont think it is diffrent the only diffrenece is how society may precieve you beacuse your an interracial couple or whatever. I have only loved my man there is absolutely no one else for me but him. I have been with him since i was 11 I am 22 now. I could really never see my self with out him in the since of us being together. He knows that my love in unwavering and i will be there through thick and thin no matter what. I do help my man better him self though because i love him the way he is but i would rather him not go back to prison ever again after he gets out. I need him and our daughter needs him. So i will give him the opportunities to suceed in life and in career now its up to him whether he wants to live a life of crime or he wants to chose to be a Man. Some of you may not understand what ia m saying but he know what i mean I would never leave him but he know my disappoint meant in him is worse then me leaving. He is a very smart intelligent man that just hasnt had the opportuinites i had and have. So i will do anything i pay for college course's in prison for him. I mean I want him to have every advatage when he gets out cause he is already gonna have red flag against him for being a felon it is better if the employers see that at least he is trying to better himself.

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10000;116/st/20070916/e/day+i+get+held+all+night/k/0585/event.png
(http://www.TickerFactory.com/)