I wasn't sure where to post this (I could have easily posted it in the Loving A DR thread etc) but I was just sitting here with a cup of coffee thinking about my DR pal. We have been writing to each other for approx. a year now and we have become very special to each other. In fact, he is, without exception, the most kind, caring, considerate, loving man I have ever had the pleasure to know. He will do silly little things like send me notes just to say that he was 'thinking of me'. Or, for example, I have recently suffered a bereavment and he had a friend make a card especially for me to say how helpless he felt knowing my heart was breaking and so on. In all my so-called relationships with the opposite sex in the free world, not one of them ever thought of such a sweet or kind gesture. So, I began thinking to myself 'how could this be'? How can this wonderful, beautiful man be regarded by the rest of society as a simple murdering thug. A thug who deserves who to die? And I began to think, what went wrong? Did the loss of his freedom equate to the emergence of a softer, gentle side to his character? Or perhaps it always existed deep down and it was society as a whole that shaped the bad side? Perhaps, as with life itself, there are no easy explanations. Yes, he did wrong, to that I will not deny, but given a chance, he could do soooo much to make amends for his one stupid, selfish action. But what I do know, is that this 'man' has enriched my life beyond all comprehension and I just wish, for one minute, that those who advocate the death penalty could just get to speak to my 'man' and they would quickly come to realize their folly.

Anyway..................sorry to take up your time. I just wnated to get that off my chest. I'll go back to my coffee now :D

Lorraine

Oh that is beautiful!!! :) I have a few special pals on DR however my closest one is actually in GP in Texas. But my DR penpals are wonderful. They send me birthday cards, (and they show how artistic they are) and christmas cards, mother's day cards etc. You are right. I wonder how society can deem these men to be a threat to society, but to us they are amazing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I have alot of the same thoughts too!! Oh and I hope you enjoyed your coffee!!! :)
Take care,

Ness

It's because society is sick. The human nature always needs someone to walk over. If people feel bad they just take the next one lower to them and treat them bad. A lot of people are constantly jellouse of what someone else has. The pressure from politics on society is emense and lets our brains be full of fog. People who have a lot, a lot of the times don't appreciate it, you learn to love what you have once you lost it. Most people in prison don't need to be in there if society would be more tolerant, more giving, more helping and more understanding more equal. But as soon you are not the norm to swim with the rest of society, you are beaten up and when you beaten up all the time you land behind bars sooner or later. A great circle.

My father, an attorney, was fond of saying that murderers are the nicest people you will ever meet--having now met several, I would say that he was right. Someone who has committed murder is not necessarily a bad person in every way, shape, or form. A murderer is someone who has had an unimaginable rage coupled with an inability to control it, usually directed toward one person. Having released that rage with tragic results, it is gone, usually never to return (I am not talking about serial killers here--that's a completely different equation). What is left is a person who generally has deep regrets and an insight into the human psyche few of us will ever know--or would want to know firsthand for that matter.

Several of my pen pals have sent me beautiful artwork, once including a signed pottery piece which obviously represented days of work. At such times I am left saddened by the fact that all I can do is send a few books from time to time, try to make sure they all get cards at holidays and birthdays, and write when I can.

DaveMoff,
I think you should not be saddened by what you are already doing. I am sure that your penpals enjoy all the cards, letters and books when they receive them and also really enjoy your friendship. :)

Take care,
Ness

Murderers aren't "evil" or "the devil incarnate" or "monsters" or whatever label the media conveniently attaches to them. I hope one day society won't be viewing things related to crime in black and white but will recognize all the shades of grey.

I'm not sure how to say this without sounding heartless and I certainly don't mean to be -- but for those, not just people who are accused of murder, but for those who have comitted crimes, well, being locked up, without chemicals or the stresses etc of everyday life, it seems to me that these people have an opportunity, to reach deep inside of themselves and find their spirit and their "true being". Please undersatnd, I am not saying that incarceration is "good" for anyone (hence my "heartless" disclaimer) what I am trying to say is that how awful that our society and culture is such that, for some, it takes an extreme act and subsequent incarceration for them (and us) to discover their true beauty as human beings.

[quote=DaveMoff]Someone who has committed murder is not necessarily a bad person in every way, shape, or form. A murderer is someone who has had an unimaginable rage coupled with an inability to control it, usually directed toward one person. Having released that rage with tragic results, it is gone, usually never to return . What is left is a person who generally has deep regrets and an insight into the human psyche few of us will ever know--or would want to know firsthand for that matter.


My man is in for murder, he isn't on DR though and I couldn't agree more with your statement!!!!!

I have asked my pp at great length how he went from a smileing child on his little red bike to muliple murder. How the guy I trust and yes even amire could be the person who pulled the trigger.Put togther lack of parential control, peer pressure, gangs and a need to belong, how in gangs in can become hunt or be hunted anf that rigger can in fact easily be pulled. His over riding guilt now that he has grown into the person i know now is that nothing he can ever do will reverse his actions or make them forgivable. He lives with the fact that although he took four lives that day he in fact destroyed many more, and there is nothing on this earth he can do to make it right again

skyblue

Society is a bad thing. It made so many things happen that it's not even funny. I understand every word you are saying but the truth is it is sad that it takes something like getting incarcerated or being on death row to bring a real man out of his "gangsta, bad boy" shell. I wish they would be like that all the time. I'm happy for you hunny.

Society is a bad thing. It made so many things happen that it's not even funny. I understand every word you are saying but the truth is it is sad that it takes something like getting incarcerated or being on death row to bring a real man out of his "gangsta, bad boy" shell. I wish they would be like that all the time. I'm happy for you hunny.

did you write the poem in your signature? It say so much....... just wondering.

Babes I think we all feel the same at some point or another. My guy is on death row for one mistake, yes it had fatal consequences but it doesnt make him a murderer or a thug and killing him will not resolve anything. The state doesnt look at the individual all they are concerned with is doing the right thing. Something we all know is WRONG
Lisax