Ok....Here is my story....I am 25 years old and a single mom to a 4 year old lil boy that may have special needs. He has no speech so he cannot talk and it is very frustrating to guess what he wants all the time.

Anyway I am with this guy whom I have been with for almost 2 years. We live together with my son. Now my ex boyfriend (who is in jail) started looking for me about 9 months ago when he re-entered the priosn system once again. He wants me back and all this other stuff and he worries about me being with this abusive man and he wants to hurt him, etc, etc.

Everyone is telling me to pick up and leave but they are not understanding that I have no money and nowhere to go. I just graduated from school on Thursday. April 15th (Literally) and I got a job that I start tommorow Monday, April 19th.

I don't know why I stay. I say it is because I love him but I think it may be because I feel that I need him.

Well I just wanted to get this out of my mind....Thanks for reading...

The guy you are with now is abusing you? Get your phone book, look under domestic abuse and call the number. They will come and get you and put you in a safe house. They will help you get housing, and child care and get you to work. He will not know where you are or how to find you. They will move you if they have to. They will get you fianancial and legal aid, a PFA if you have too. CALL THEM!

Could he be the reason why your child is not talking? Afraid to open his mouth? If not you need to get him help. He needs to be in therapy if he isn't already.

Please PM me if you need to talk. I know a lot about disabilities(I have an autistic boy) so please PM me.

DITTO LUNACHILD. PLEASE SEEK THE HELP NOW!

i work at a domestic violenc shelter. pm me and i can get you the # of one in your area.

Hi Angel! :)

Thanks for posting. I know how hard it can be to share what you're going through.

The first question that springs to mind is, do you have any family that you can go and stay with? I know how scary the thought of going to a shelter is, but it may be your only option if you have nowhere to go.

You may think you love your boyfriend, but for one thing - love isn't supposed to hurt. Not physically anyway. That's how they get you in the beginning. You fall in love with them, and then when the abuse starts, you start thinking back to when they treated you like they actually did love you, and then you start thinking that maybe he'll go back to being that way. Trust me, he won't.

Only you can decide what to do, but for the sake of your little boy, please look for a way to get out. It's not doing him any good to be in that situation.

Give us a shout if you need any help :)

Kelly

Quote Nickys_girl
You may think you love your boyfriend, but for one thing - love isn't supposed to hurt. Not physically anyway. That's how they get you in the beginning. You fall in love with them, and then when the abuse starts, you start thinking back to when they treated you like they actually did love you, and then you start thinking that maybe he'll go back to being that way. Trust me, he won't.

This is so well put. And the cycle just continues. Put yourself and your son first, you deserve someone that loves you, a person that loves you wouldnt abuse you. Rather he needs to get himself councelling for his anger, and if he wont, you need to leave.

Kids at a young age pick up on things really quickley, more than we could imagine. They need a positive enviroment surrounding them.
(((hugs)))) please keep posting and let us know how you are.

What a greate story, like a hollywood film!
Good luck in the future!

/Emma

Kelly ((hugs))
Thankyou so much for sharing your story. It must of been hard for you to recapture all those moments while telling us. You are a strong and determined person, and your story will help alot of people on PTO. I think these things make us stronger, and I can tell that it has made you a stronger person, and from your hurt, you want to reach out and help others. Thats a very special part inside of you, to take all that, and turn it into a positive, by reaching out to other people that are going through what you have.
You are amazing. ((hugs again))

Angel,

There is a Domestic violence group that can HELP you!!! It is called the Umbrella and is located in Ansonia, they can find a safe place for you and your child and can provide services for him (speech). Please call-203-736-9944. Also, call 211 (infoline in CT) for other DV phone numbers...PM me if you need help and leave your phone number...Joy

Thank you MrsMaze for the number. I will call tomorrow and see what they have to say.

Leaving is not the easiest thing when nobody really shows any support.:(

I swear I hate this man....I have had 4 laptop computers and he has broken every single one and then replaced it. As a matter of fact, today I got this one, the 4th and I hope final one.

Leaving is never easy, but it is the best you could ever do.

I dont think I have anything to say about the violent relationship I think others have basically said it all.....
what I do want to add is that using American Sign Language with your four year old might be helpful.... if he is not speaking because of emotional issues then sign language might give him the ability to at least express his needs... if he is not speaking due to disability issues then again knowing how to sign will again let him express his needs. There are some very good books out there and many online resources that will give you the knowlege so you can teach him the basics.... colors, foods, the basics. ASL is used with many non-verbal children and it has been found that once they get older they don't use it as a crutch because they very quickly learn that more people understand them when they speak.... however, it might be a start to get him going and decrease yours and his frustration.

M

My son is not talking, most likely because of a disabilty and not emotional issues.

I am ready to get out of here....I just have to find someplace to go to start my life all over again.

Thank you everyone for the support....I wish my offline friends gave me a quarter of what you ladies do.

hi Angel. Well I am just reading your post and I wanted to say that everyone in here has given great advice. And once again if you need someone to just vent to or for advice you can pm me as well.

And get your precious child into speech therapy as soon as you possibly can! It will benefit the both of you in so many ways. You need to find out EXACTLY what is going on rather than only speculating. Good luck and I don't know if you are into religion or not but if so pray. I will keep you and your child in my prayers too.

My son is in speech therapy. He goes to a special education preschool 5 days a week. They provide him with speech therapy. I do admit he is making more and more noises, which is better than nothing.

I am not very religious. I am Catholic and I do believe in God. I do pray several times a day that something will help my son be a "normal" child. But I do not go to church or anything like that anymore.

Thanks for writing...:)

Oh Angel that is wonderful! Now you make sure that you take care of you and your baby. Your baby comes first before ANY man here on Earth. Think about his future. You are no good to him if you are no good to you. Do you understand what I mean?
I am the kind of person who wants only the best for everyone and you are such a sweet person and have a good heart. Just take care of yourself sweetie!

Typetester -

You know the old saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"? My ex-husband has been married twice since me, and he's been violent with both of them. One had the sense to leave, the other is still with him. People have to decide when enough is enough all on their own. The only thing you can do is pray for them.

I am so glad you came through your experience okay. ((((hugs))))

Typetester-

I understand what you're saying. I left my ex two and a half months before I had my son. He hasn't seen him since he was 6 days old. I left due to him being abusive. I have a protective order and all that now, I have for quite some time. ANyways. When my son gets older, if he wants to get to know his biological father, then I'll let him. I know the time will come when he'll ask why I"m not with him. I won't lie to him, but I will only tell him as much as he can handle. It will all depend on the age. Honestly, I can't say that I want him to know his bio father. He has that right, and when he's old enough then I'll support him. I'll tell you, no matter how old he may be, if he ever puts a hand on a female, I'll whoop that butt. Believe it.

I have to tell you story brought tears to my eyes. Until the end when I saw how you got out of it. I am so happy for you and so happy that you were able to get away before he
he hurt you or you were not here any more. That story was very helpful and eye opening thank you

Great Post, this helps me realize what goes through some of my friends head when they are dealing with this situation. I know alot of the times they are too scared to say what is going on but this helps.. thanks for sharing with us.

You are a beautiful and strong person!!! :)

Thank you for sharing.....everyone needs to hear your story.

There are too many women out there who fall prey to abuse.

It's hard to come out and tell people what you went through, believe me, I know. Once you get it out and realize that it's not your fault, you start to feel like a weight is lifted. Everyone will share a story, just in their own time. It makes you stronger in the long run.

Thank you so much for sharing. I think part of healing is when you finally can talk about it. Let's all hope that our stories will help others find a way out of abuse.

All my respect,


Tanya

This thread is to post your introduction or story, mainly so people affected by this issue can see that they are not alone. If you aren't ready to tell your story, that's fine too :). Just know that there is a place for you to come if you ever need it.

I'm glad that your stories have resulted in happy endings. You guys are definitely the lucky ones. Thanks for sharing.

Mish