I suppose it is time to post about my story for those of you who do not already know. My husband is an alcoholic. We met, fell in love and dated for five years- I have known him for over 16 years. During those five years, he went to prison 3 times due to DUI. He also attended a rehab after one of these sentences, the one where I had hired his attorney. When I met him, he had been divorced for 14 years, and had three sons. Their mother was an addict ( coke, heroin, meth, any and all of it) I watched his oldest put in jail, for a burglary gone bad- his mother had put him up to the burglary, even scoped out the house for him. She let him out of her vehicle, and he was so drunk and drugged he managed to get into the home, but then passed out. I helped to take care of these boys whenever they came around. Of course, hubby used alcohol to escape-- he would get upset and they would argue but it did no good..Due to his drinking and their divorce, if he was not in prison for drinking she put him there for child support to keep us apart. In 1994, I gave up. Although I loved this man with all my heart and his sons, it was too much for me at that time. I had a son myself to raise, and this drama was a bit much. I saw him briefly at one of his son's homes in 1999. He was living in Georgia, and had come up for a visit. Of course I felt the same feelings for him, they never had gone away. After living with a brother who was addicted to nerve pills, a father who was an alcoholic, a grandmother who died of alcohol poisoning, ( drank herself to death lierally)I had tried to pick up the pieces of my life and move forward. February 2004, I called my husband's brother in Georgia just to see how he was doing. I found out he was in prison, serving a life sentence... I will never forget the feeling I had at that moment. DUI, sure- murder? NO WAY. I searched the internet, and found what the media had to say. I then began to write to him. He had been charged with malice murder of a 'girlfriend'. He was told to take a plea- (voluntary manslaughter, but he would not, it was an accident!) it had been a struggle over a gun, and both had been drinking heavily. The medical examiner stated in 32 years, he had NEVER seen a murder with the entry of a bullet at that angle. The medical examiner did not help however, prosecutors claimed she was leaving him, and he didn't want that so he killed her. In all my years of knowing and loving this man, I knew THAT was a lie. In any argument,- heck, in the way he dealt with life period- he would always leave, walk away, go get in the car and drive ( even if drunk) to avoid conflict. He was 50 when arrested, he will have served 5 years this November. We married in 2004. Drugs, addicts, alcohol, alcoholics- I have seen, loved and lived around them all my life. I know what it means to love an 'addict'. This is why I am here. To support each and every one of you, who have an addict or alcoholic in your life. Perhaps even to save you or your loved one, from having a situation arise such as this! It is all well and good when we drink, smoke and feel good, and the party is on!!!- but it is so easy for the party to turn sour, in the blink of an eye, and all is changed.

I have told my story in another forum some time back, but I guess I had better tell it here also, so bear with me I won't make it too long.

Just about 2 years ago this very month, I met this wonderful, beautiful woman who I fell totally in love with. She was very honest with me almost from the start that she had an addiction problem. I had to admit to her that I had a problem with alcohol. Well to make a long story short, we dated for a while then moved in together. During that time I found out how bad her addiction really was, but she also found out how bad my drinking was. But for some unknown reason we both did what we could to curb our individual problems.
We never did really talk about it much at that time, it was like something was pushing us not to use or drink when we were together. My God when she was not using, she was so sweet, so good hearted, so loving. She kept our house spotless and had dinner ready everynight when I got home from work. Then one day out of the blue, she sat down next to me and put her pretty little head on my shoulder and started crying. She told me she loved me, and wanted to stop using for me. This was unbelievable, because I had been thinking about slowing down my booze consumption and had even been to an AA meeting the week before. One thing I did not mention, was that she had some legal issues hanging over her head. One from a possession charge, and another for check fraud. Well, I knew about them also almost from the start. We were doing very well for a while, then her court dates started getting closer and she started getting more on edge and before long she was back using. Well anyway, we hung close to eachother, and we knew we loved eachother, so we decided to get married, and we did. To this very day I do not regret having her as my wife. I love her more and more everyday. I had been married before, and had other relationships, but her love, her devotion was more than I had ever seen before, and I thank God every single day for letting her be my wife. Well, she was convicted and sentenced to 2 years in prison. We tried to get the courts to recognize the fact that she is an addict, but was trying to end it, but she also has some mental problems that are directly related to the fact that she had spinal meningitis as a child. She had been physically abused by her father. She had been physically and mentally abused in a former relationship, she also had been raped. She never had a permanent home while growing up, she never had a chance at life.

Well, God works in strange ways. He put her and I together. My life had not been all that good either, but my problems I will admit were my own and not my family or illness. I served two tours of duty in Viet Nam, and I am still feeling the effects everyday of my life. But my wife is the only person who has ever tried to comfort me, to work with me. She has held me in her arms when I would wake up in the middle of the night after dreaming about my friends getting killed or those who I killed. No one else has ever done that for me before. People have asked me why do you stay with her, she's in prison, she's a doper. Well I no longer talk to those people. My wife needs me and I need her. To me my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. I love her with all my heart and I know without a doubt that she loves me the same way. God is doing what is necessary right now, and I know that I will get her back and we will make a new and clean life together. I thank God for her every single day. And I know that I am totally dedicated to her. We will make it through this, we will have our new start at life. I will never let my wife down, I will always support her (not her addiction). I believe and trust in God enough to know that what is going on is happening for a reason. Her and I were put together for a reason, and with Gods help those reasons are going to come together, and my dear beautiful little wife will be back with me and we will go on. Well thanks for listening to me. Yep there is a lot more to this story, I did edit it for length, but the bottom line is this... I love my wife and I will always be.... Behind her and Beside her, because I know that is where she stands with me.

God Bless

JR

Hello, I don't know what I'm suppose to say here but I was invited so here I am, can someone direct me in what to do next?

Welcome AJ_ Jewel. As you can see this is a support forum for those whose lives have been touched by alcohol or those addicted to drugs, and the people that love them. Feel free to post, to vent, or just hang out and read the subforums here. Welcome!