Forgive me all, but I was the one who called the cops on him and had him sent back. No, I shouldn't ask for forgiveness, I'm not sorry I did it. He already had a warrant out for breaking parole. He'd been selling drugs. He was on a month long drug "spree" that he allowed to get way out of control. It ended with him attacking me, threatening to kill me.

I still love him. I know he still loves me. I know he is kicking himself for all of it. Don't they all, in hindsight? I now have a restraining order against him for the next 4 years. But I still love him. He just was not good for me.

Back to my request: I am looking for a book to have sent in to him. (His Mom will send it, since I can't) I A book that may help him figure out.......I don't know. Just something that will give him a different view on what he did, how the addiction affects those around him. Does that make any sense? He's been through the drug classes in prison 3 or 4 times. He does not trust anyone teaching anything in prison. (That and he has a thick skull:mad: )

Appreciate any help.:(

Helping Someone Overcome Addiction
Volume I: What is Addiction
Gary W. Smith, Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor
Executive Director, Narconon of Oklahoma, Inc., and
Derry Hallmark, Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor
Senior Director for Expansion, Narconon of Oklahoma, Inc.

Willpower's Not Enough
Recovering from Addictions of Every Kind
Arnold Washton, Ph.D., and Donna Boundy, M.S.W.

Combating Addiction Through Recovery Education
The C.A.R.E. Program
Substance Abuse Awareness and Relapse Prevention
Stephen H.A. Lloyd, cac/acad/adss

I got these from Amazon.com. Look them up and check out the write-ups. The last two, I just bought last week, the first one, I bought a few years back.

hmm... whenever I asked this question I was always refered to "As Bill See's it." its a supplimental text for A.A. (there are many of them) eveyone says substance abuse in whatever form is the same illness...

This might be of good use because im pretty certian they have all of the 12 step programs at the prison and even jail.

Redphoenixx, you should never feel you have to apologize for protecting your own safety and well-being. And I think you know it was the drugs that were and are the problem, not the man.

I, too, think "As Bill Sees It" would be fine reading for anyone with an addiction of any form--it can be returned to again and again for reassurance as needed. Two others I would recommend would be: "The Small Book" and "Rational Recovery: The New Cure For Substance Addiction", both by Jack Trimpey. Both are rather confrontational, but there are times when that is precisely what is needed to get through to someone.

Speaking from personal experience, great enlightenment can come from the realization that you, and only you, own your own life. That said, you may do what you wish with it and are responsible for your actions. You are free to build a great monument of your time on earth, or to make an utter mess of it. But it is you, and only you, who can decide which, and only you who will bear the responsibility and take the consequences of whatever choice you make.

Without this realization--and without finding the idea comfortable (after all, there are people who genuinely hate being alive)--it is very difficult if not impossible to build a foundation on which to construct a life free of addiction.

My fiancee has found that Joyce Meyer is a wonderful author. She has lots of books. One of Frank's favorites is "Battlefield of the Mind". It is not the drug itself that causes bad things to happen, it is the demon's attached to them. It was a long battle for me and Frank but he has been clean and sober now for 10 months. He has been reading Joyce while incarcerated and it has helped him grow up tremenously in the past few months. I will be praying for you, him and your families.

Ladyhawk316

Some may also find help in Alcoholics Victorious, a group which uses the 12 Steps of AA in conjunction with Bible study and other Christian lessons.

They can be found online at www.alcoholicsvictorious.org --there is a great deal of material on the site and they also have a large amount of literature available, all of the proceeds from the sale of which go to support the League of Gospel Rescue Missions. Definitely worth a look if you are seeking support from an unambiguous Christian source.

No, nothing Christian or religous. He is Native American and does not believe in the Christian religion. If only he were relying on his Native Religion more, he would have been stronger. He is more into that when he is inside. Unfortuantely, he gets out and that falls by the wayside.

There are some books on addictions written from a Native American point of view. For some time I attended AA meetings hosted by an Ojibwe community center and which incorporated a lot of traditional spirituality. I always found them so much more spiritual than most meetings and far more honest. Unfortunately, attendance fell off and eventually the group disbanded.

Let me check with some of my friends and see if I can get the titles of a few books for you that might put the 12 Steps somewhere along the Red Road. I do know they exist!

Here are a few web links that might be starting points:

http://****************/ANewWay2 --AA-centered MSN group with a LOT of Native American material and participation.

http://www.whitebison.org/magazine/2004/winter_spring/vol5no8.html --Some general info, with links and contacts.

http://www.whitebison.org/press_releases/index.html --another part of the site listed above, which discusses a tape course specifically intended for Native Americans in prison, along with what sounds like a very good book.

AA is suppose to have a "Native American Indian General Service Office", but I have been unable to find a URL.

http://runningwolf.wolf-running.com/main.php --interesting personal site, though not exactly "deep reading".

http://****************/LIVINGINTODAY/welcomepage.msnw --another MSN group, Recovery with an emphasis on Native American spirituality.

That's about all I can come up with through a quick Google search, but if anything else of possible interest turns up, I'll post it here for you.

May he find strength--and do not forget that this is a time for you to be strong as well.

Thanks Dave! I've already started looking around these!

"Battlefield of the Mind", by Joyce Meyer, is a great read. Both my husband and I have a copy of this one. I would advise it for anyone, especially an addict or alcoholic.

You might want to try www.alcoholicsanonymous.org as well. I wasn't able to find a live link to the "Native American Indian General Service Office", but perhaps you have better eyes than I do.

Will let you know if I turn up anything else.

Sorry that the books I offered (which have nothing to do with Christianity) are not helpful. Best wishes to you both.

My fiancee has found Joyce Meyer books and other Christian books to be very helpful to his at this time.

Ok, let me ask you this....why are you sending him, or having his mom send him the books? Does he want them? Is he ready for them? Is he open to them?

I guess I'm playing Devils Advocate here, but I believe a person has to want to get well, and want the help. Otherwise, you are simply trying to make him do something he doesn't want or is not ready to do.

Books can't hurt, or cause any thing negative to happen. But will they help you in some way? Why are you doing this?

If I might suggest that you perhaps go to an Al Anon meeting....you also need to learn self care, and to look after yourself. It sounds as though you have done that in many ways, and helping him to 'get it' is certainly not a bad thing. But it sounds like you need to focus on yourself at this point, not him.

Sorry, but I work as a counselor, and see alot of family members who think that by giving a loved one a book, sending them to treatment, or having someone talk to them, that something will click and they will get well. Sometimes they do! And sometimes, they don't. The person has to be ready to make that move.

I would suggest that you take it easy on yourself, and get to an Al anon meeting and buy their wonderful little meditation book. I have found it helpful with so many issues in life in general.

all the best,
Fyre

And, He So Handsome, those were good books you suggested....we use them at the program I work at!

I think that "The Addictive Personailty" was a VERY insightful read, for both myself and my husband (the addict)
Good Luck

The bible. Until he is right with himself, failure is almost assured.