He had court this morning. One of two cases pending. This one contain 3 charges of Burgulary, a theft and a malicious destruction. All of these were on his parents and their house.

I've been in one of my low moods today. Couldn't figure out why. Then it hit me. This was the first one of his court dates I had missed. Usually I'm standing behind the defendent table, smiling (that it's going to be okay smile to him), but not today. Instead, I'm here at work, worried about the outcome of the court.

Someways, I wish they would throw the book at him. At least then I would know he was as safe as he can be in DOC. Not on the street. Not lying to me.

My sis asked me what's wrong. I told her some habits are harder to break then others.

I haven't put money on the phone for him to call. And instead of sending him a money order, I order my friend some levis and the girls some games for their PS2.

So here I am doing all the right things for him to hit rock bottom, and I'm the one feeling like crap! I've said it before. It's like all the suffering, and destruction an addict goes through with out getting high!

Hang in there......there are better days ahead :)

Thanks Yoosgirl, just hoped everything worked out for him.

You didn't find out what his sentence was?

I went and saw him last Wednesday. The first words out of his mouth were "You should be glad you're on the other side of the glass". I told him, "You should be glad I'm here at all, you almost lost me". Then a fear came over his face that I had never seen before. I explained, I was rushed to the ER on Monday with a severe allegeric reaction. My throat had started to swell shut. After inquiring how I was, we got down to his needs. An addict is always thinking. He told me he waived the preliminary hearing. He was in the drug treatment program at the detention center. But he needed me to bail him out and as much as I wasn't going to like the next thing, he was about to say, he said it was the only way. He said when he got out he would need to get a fix so he could go to the ER and tell them he was detoxing. Once there he would get admitted to the Psych ward and from there they would place him into rehab. This would shorten his sentence.

So tell me, does he really think I'm that easy. He must be thinking I'm the old person who just started loving him. His new court date for the county is June 14th and the city is June 1st. I'm finally out of debt. I'm finally starting to live my life. My kids are happier, but I still love him soo very much!!!! The new guy knows nothing about my visits with him. He doesn't understand how loving an addict is for life. It's too hard to explain to anyone but someone who has been there. The addict will always have some type of hold on our hearts.