I know that this may sound crazy that I am even worried about this but just wanted to get some opnions. Okay so me and my husband have been togather for 4 years. I have 1 child from a previous relationship and then we have a 1 year old togather. I am the first "white girl" relationship that he has ever been in and I sometimes get the vibe that when he is around black people that he gets embarrassed. He says that I am trippin but I dont think that I am. All I have ever dated is black guys and so I am use to the stares and comments, he is not. And now with him being locked up, we get alot of that.I sont think that he really knows how to deal with it. Do any of you ever get the vibe that your man is embarrassed or ashamed or stand offish or anything or am I crazy:angry:

My man and I are not ashamed that I am Latina and he is Black. We don't have a problem with the fact that I am 15 years older than him. It doesn't bother us at all that we originally met while he was incarcerated. No shame in the game here. If your man says he is not ashamed then you should accept that. If you feel he isn't being honest with you then by all means dicuss it with him.

Patty

I don't think you're tripping if you have only been with black men and you never got this feeling with any of the others but you do with him.

My man is not ashamed of me. If he was than he wouldn't be my man.

I have never ever thought that he was ashamed of my color nor have I ever been ashamed of his color. We are very comfortable with each other. I think that this is an issue that you better get under control before he comes home. The best of luck and I hope that everything works out for you!

No - My Husband Is Not Ashamed. He Is Very Proud To Be My Husband, As I Am Proud To Be His Wife. Maybe He Really Doesn't See What Exactly Hes Doing Around His Friends.

Dont Dwell On It, But Let Him Know That Sometimes He Makes You Feel That Way.:)

I do let him know... I ask him all the time and he says that I am readin to far into things and I am trippin. But I know in my past relationships I have never felt this way. He says it is not because I am white, its because I am his 1st everything, awhhh how cute. I was his first real girl friend, his only baby momma, and now his wife so he had to learn how to treat a woman... GLAD TO BE HIS TEACHER!!!!

It sounds like you know your man, and I think it's highly likely that he is getting flack in there from his boys. Even my husband has had to beat a couple people down for their remarks about my skin color- and I am mixed. I would suggest not being pushy about this. I don't think he is necessarily ashamed of you- you are his everything!-it is what he has to deal with in there because of it- which has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person, only prison politics that he probably feels you might not understand. You will overcome this. Stay strong!

Tabre11, Give him alot of time because I think he just doesnt know quite how to deal with this yet. I didnt either at first but now im getting like a pro! I know he loves you!

Never...my husband always puts on a show and sometimes I am the embarrassed one because I don't like being the center of attention, but he is just so proud of his wife and he likes to make it known.

But that's how it should be.

I can relate some, my boo says I am da first white skinned hispanic woman he has ever dated. We met Through a pen pal service, so I am not sure how comfortable he will feel around me, but he reminds me in every letter and in ever phone call how happy he is we met. I don't think your man is ashamed, he might not be to sure how to handle the comments or the speculations, but he will get over it eventually, they always do. Stay strong and patient.

It doesn't bother either one of us. I am white and Ray is black and to us the looks just show ignorance on their part. I know the first time I dated a black man it took me some time to get use to the looks and whispers, but now I rarely notice, and when I do I just smile at them. If he says it doesn't bother, it probably doesn't. Either way, he will move pasted it.

my Husband Nor Myself Have Any Issues With Our Skin Tones, Nor Do We Care About What Others Think We Love Each Other And That's All That Matters,if You Let What Other People Think Or Feel About Who Your With You Wouldn't Have A Partner Period,to Some There Is Always Gonna Be Something Wrong With Who Your Loving,don't You Just Trip On The Fact That The People Who Are The Most Judgmental Are The Ones Who Have The Most Drama And Baggage,hang In There He Knows You Love Him And You Know He Loves You

I am glad that you and him talked about it and he has told you why he is behaving the way he is .. Just keep on being open about the way things are in your eyes and let him do the same and yall will be ok.. remember new things are scary for the most even though it isnt for other ppl .. Love will help conquer all the fears that he has to deal with and make him not only a stronger person but a stronger and more confident lover and spouse and of course daddy.

We rarely discuss color/race, lol...i'm asian and he's black, never really noticed if people stare or not but really don't care, all his friends have seen my pic so i am assuming they know i'm not black...color is only an issue if you make it an issue...but i'm not ashame of him nor is he ashamed of me...one of my co-workers came by my desk at work (i have our pic on my desk) and asked if my man was black and i told them he was a dark asian (like duh) lol you just gotta not let the stares get to you...if he is embarrassed of you then he can't truly say that he loves you.

No, my baby is proud to be with me. He calls me his Triple...meaning his coffee cream and sugar. He introduces me to other inmates he rooms and works with when he catches them out on our visits and always introduces me as his woman. We love each other and really dont care what others think. He has always said everyone in his life will have to accept that I am the one he loves and makes him happy because nothing and nobody will ever change what he feels for me

My man is not ashamed of me. If he was than he wouldn't be my man.

Hear... hear!! :thumbsup:

I know for a fact that my baby isnt ashamed of me. Its new to him too. He has only ever dated black women (he's black), and im mixed race (pale complexion though).

some blk men are just worried about what people will say. my husband was the same way. only because there is still so much racism in our world still not only wht people but blks as well

If he was ashamed then I dont think he would be with you. May just be the flack from the inside. there is ignorance on the inside of those walls just like the outside. Dont worry be happy!

Just wanted to let all of you know that THE PHASE HAS PAST!!!! YEA !!!! he dont act like that n e more. I think that he finally realized that ignorace is everywhere and to feed into it makes you equally ignorant. NOW he makes it know that I am his girl YIPPIE
I always knew he loved me but momma always said actions speak louder than words and now I get the actions.