Just need a bit of advice. Long story short, I have a very special pal in San Quentin. The mail situation there is appalling at the moment.:mad:
It is taking weeks for him to receive any of my letters or cards (and weeks for me to receive his) In this month alone, out of the three letters and two cards I have sent him, he has only received one. Heaven knows where the others have got to??? On top of that, they have only let the boys out of the cells 3 times this month and to complete the trio, my pal is currently in agony, on painkillers with a torn ligament awaiting an MRI scan (some hope!!). So, you can all understand how important letters are. And the fact he is not receiving them is really upsetting him as well as me. So, I was considering whether I should suggest to him about phone calls? We have only known each other for about 10 months and I'm not sure if this is something that he would want to do. After all, I'm not sure if he actually wants to speak to me as such or just wants letters only. I'm sure you understand what I am trying to say. Therefore, I was wondering if any of you have been in a similar situation and how did you go about suggesting the move 'up' so to speak to phone calls?

Lorraine :thumbsup:

If you can afford it and want to let him have your number, then just tell him. I went 11 months with no calls. My guy never suggested it because he didn't want to impose on me by asking me to spend the money. I'm sure your friend would love the opportunity to call but let him know how often you are comfortable with up front. Read the thread on how much do you spend a month on calls. You'll see that it can easily get out of hand if you're not careful.

Thanks for that. I think I'm going to be brave and take the step. He can only say no can't he? :) Will probably sign up to PCO, so he doesn't have to pay for them himself.

Lorraine :)

Inmates can only make call collect - and we pay! £35 for 15 minutes! when you think of dinner for two it's worth it, especially if there is no hope of dinner for two! (but not too often) and I bet he'll leap at the chance of talking to you. Good luck.
H.:)

I have been in a similar situation, however my friend I had known for years and years. I sent him my phone number in a letter, and said "Call if you want to talk, I can afford to take one call a week." My friend was very greatful and respected my request that he only call once a week. He even had his mom give me some money cause he felt so bad. I don't know any guy who would not want to talk to a girl while in prison. :)

yes my friend at san quentin can only make collect calls too

Can i suggest that if you want to talk to him, you set up a phone account with prison calls online or inmate phone services. When i started talking to my friend the calls became more and more frequent and it was hard being disciplined. But with the account, the calls are around 60% cheaper and becasue its on an account you are charged straight away for the call so you always know what credit is left. Email me if you need to know any other information and i will be only too happy to help you. I know the mail situation is a pain and so frustrating, i've been waiting ages for my letters to get to me and i know he is getting fed up too, but thank God for the phone!!

Take care
x

Just for the record, Prison Calls Online is not always cheaper, than just getting a collect call, from MCI. When you call PCO, to set up an account, they will let you know if it is cheaper through them. If I were to set up an account through PCO, my calls would run aroun 15 dollars for 15 minutes. Through MCI, I pay like $5.36.

i'm not in your situation but heres what i suggest. first all find out if he does want to call you. if he says yes set up a schedule say every other monday at 3pm if that works for you so that way you know when he calls and your not heart broken when u miss it bc u planned your day around making that call. as long as he understands to only call when he's suppose to unless is an emergency that helps keep the bills managable. i talk to scott once maybe twice a month at $20 a pop for a 15 minute call. its worth it in the end though. good luck girl

I finally got a letter from my son and he said he was told his block would be in 23 in 1 out until December with no phone calls and he isn't getting my 3 letters a day either. It's been almost a month he's been there and still he can not go to the store, isn't getting mail, and has trouble getting letters out.

42365hey ladies..im beyond..sick nsad,,too..so to speak..no mail for 3 and a half weeks..not norm..i usually get somthing avg..every 10-days..which suks @that..a couple @ a time..he..s ccc/susanville..i even called the prison today to make sure he was still kickin!lol..no-hole-no infirmary..still there..i dont have a land line and havent seen or spoke directly w.him since feb..in county..sad:( gu;lp!my heartaches..not normal?cantfigure ? we have no landline..i just dont know about pco? how much do u have to pay up front?

:) Hi Lorraine!

It really does add a lot to the friendship, to be able to talk on the phone! I highly doubt that he would say no to calling you, and it isnt a big deal, being nervous after the first call, if even then! So, I know he will say yes.

I can only ad, and emphasize, what a couple of the other's ladies have said. Please let him know how often he can call, especially since you are overseas!

I made a mistake of telling a pal, once, to call any time, and he sure did! I regreted ever saying it, as my phone went to $400.00 a month real fast!:eek: :eek: !!

It is hard to keep to that budget, but I figure if I dont get to go out to dinner once, or get another
pair of new jeans, instead of paying for the long distance call, it is not a big deal.

Please let us know how things work out, Lorraine! Also, i know it passes the time for them, and gives them more to look forward to! Especially, with the mail situation, as bad as it is for you two!

Best of luck!

Amanda808

Hi, all -

I write to several older women prisoners in a couple of states. Most of them don't get mail or visits from their families.

I'd like one of my penpal friends at CCWF to be able to call me. She has not had visitors or a phone conversation in years. When I called MCI, I was transferred to a recorded message that told me "the inmate must attempt to call and you must wait 24 hours before billing or service arrangements can be made." I also talked to CCWF staff, but they didn't have any information.

If my friend gives me a call - the call attempt that is apparently required to set up something with MCI - will that call come through to me? Will I have a chance to accept her call?

If not, I'd like to warn her ahead of time that I didn't decline to accept her call.

Thanks for any information.

if you get a packet 8 phone account with an area code same as the prison your collect calls should be real cheap............kens calls were 2.00 for 15 minutes this way he has been home a little over a year so i cant see it being to much more..............need to get a packet 8 number then set up an account through correctional billing service it is prepaid if you pm me i can give you my number and will give you all the info...............my girlfriend did it and her calls are around 3.25 for a 15 minute call...............just let him know how much you can afford and stick to it at 2.00 a call i let ken call like 3 times a day............i just smoked one less pack of cigs a day or i gave up going out one night a week with my friends i always spent at least 75.00 on a night out 7 x 6 equals 42 i was ahead..........lol...............good luck

Right girls...........I suggested calls to my pal and this was his response. Not sure what to make of it really. Perhaps I'm looking into it tooooo deeply but he didn't exactly sound enthusiastic. What do you think.....?

" about the phone thing....I have no problem calling you (believe me) if not just to put a voice with that pretty face of yours, and it would definitely makes things with these mailroom problems not so bad. But I gotta tell you though, that it would be pretty expensive! Now dont get me wrong, I would love to have an actual conversation with you, and as I said, I would love to put a voice with that pretty face.....Now with that said, I'll leave it up to you............"

Am I being silly here or what???????

Lorraine

:) Hi Lorraine!

I was wondering on the outcome of what you had decided on the calls.

From what he said, I interpret it, as yes, he would very much like to talk to you!

I assume the reason that he left it up to you, is because he would have to call collect overseas.

He is trying to be considerate!

How about asking him to put you on his phone list, and you both give it a try?

Nowhere in his answer did I see that he wouldnt be thrilled to talk to you!


amanda8088

Hi Amanda

Your'e right. It's just me being stupid. I'm still trying to get used to the emotional swings and roundabouts of having a pal on DR. One day he's as tough as anything, the next he's soppy and sends me silly little messages or will say something really sweet. Anyway, I'm moving home in the next few weeks so I have said that as soon as I have settled in my new home we will take things from there. I'm actually going to do as you have suggested and ask him to put me on his phone list, sign up with PTO (or one of the others) and tell him that if he wants to call, then he can.

Thanks for the advice

Lorraine :thumbsup:

:) YOU GO, LORRAINE!!

I am moving, also, to where I am not sure, and that is a big stressor!

I wish you the best with your new Death Row Pal!

amanda8088

Lorraine - After 11 months of writing my pen pal on DR we got around to talking about phone calls and I gave him my number and told him to call me if he would like to do that. He was concerned that it was expensive and I just told him never mind the expense. Then he said he would call and then wrote another letter saying maybe a visit would be better first. I told him not to worry about visits or phone calls....just do what feels right for him, as I am perfectly happy either way. When he did call it was wonderful, more than wonderful actually. Now he calls a lot and we both enjoy our conversations so much. But from the time we first discussed phone calls to actually implementing them was about two to three months. You are going to love that first call, and the second call and each one after that!