Hi my name is Amelia and I would first like to say this site is a Godsend, and after reading all of your stories I feel comforted.I am not alone! I would like to tell you our story, so here goes:Stephen and I met in high school.We were both 16 years old. We had our first baby the following year. We are currently almost 24 years old and have 5 (yes 5) beautiful children ages 1-6.We lived in Ny until about 4 1/2 years ago.We moved to Texas and that is where the real trouble has begun! He is a salesman and has what I call a love of money! He worked for a company that did not pay him on time so he decided to sell a few machines on his own...well this resulted in his first arrest.While waiting for these charges to come up he met a not so nice guy who he borrowed money from ..using a check as collateral.When I found this out I put a Stop payment on the check.Well when the man found this out he threatened my husband into writing another check that bounced. He turned the checks in and it seems in Texas hot checks are as bad as armed robbery! So he was arressted for this as well. Then the first charges came up and we had no money for a lawyer, we got an appointed one(what a joke!). With much pushing from me the lawyer got him 5 years probation. Well he still didn't learn. He worked for another company and I guess got greedy. He created phony sales in order to collect the commision. Well they claimed he stole the machines and the money and was arressted for thatin Nov 2001.When he was arressted they set no bond on him and I had to pay a lawyer(keep in mind he gambled all the money he stole away) $2000 to get his bond set and reduced to $30000.After a total of three weeks I came up with the money fo rthe bondsman and got him out.Boy were my kids happy. I told him we could never go through this again. That December we brought God into our lives and were both Baptized into a Baptist church.Oh how wonderful life was getting.I really saw a change in him, I felt all was going to be alright. Then his second set of charges(hot checks) came up and he was again charged with Felony theft and they realized he had broken his probation by getting arressted the last time. Again no money for a lawyer we were appointed one. Boy was she a winner:rolleyes:She kept telling him if you get me money you wont go to jail but if you dont you will. Well he was sentenced to 2 two year sentences. the minimum for the theft and the max for his probation with everything(even his new charges) to run concurrent.only thing is for his revocation he must serve the full 2 yrs no parole! I am now left with the 5 kids alone, missing him, terrified for his safetyI have heard such horror stories about Texas prisons.I have alot of questions on life"inside": rapes, beating, gangs. I dont want him to come out more messed up than when he went in, ya know. Do these things happen to all new inmates?I am soo worried I feel this is a turning point in our family life and I want it to be a good one..This is his first time in jail and I know he is scared too. I am glad to have gottenthe opportunity to join you all. thank you! you think the system is so great until you become a part of it.I am here for anyone who needs to talk too just email me! I think we should all seriously get together and fight for our loved ones rights!! Thanks for listening to me vent!! God Bless you all!!:wave:

Amelia,

Welcome to PTO.. We're glad you found us! I am sure you will come across many people in the same or similar situation as you are here..

First, I want to express my sympathy for what you are facing.. I have been there, and by proxy, so has my family and friends. It's definitely not something that we would chose to have in our lives given a choice, but like war I feel prison brings out the best and worst in all of us having to deal with the system.

I won't lie and say that Texas Prison is a cake-walk but it doesn't have to be a "meat grinder" either.. There are a LOT of stories out there.. Some are true.. Some are pushing the fright factor a bit much.. It really depends on how Stephen carries himself.
Does prison rape happen? Unfortunately, Yes.. Does that mean it will happen to Stephen? No, it does not..

I won't go into too much detail in this forum. If you would like to talk about Texas Prison details we can meet in the Texas - USA Regional Forum. I noticed you posted there also so I will be there next.
Long story short (here), he can come out of it better than he was before.. Or worse.. It depends on how you BOTH do the time..

LAWYERS.. LAWYERS.. How Thy hateth' court appointed blood suckers! It is a rare occasion anyone lands one that truley works for them... I have had both court appointed and paid-for attorneys.. When you pay you almost always have a better shot.. BUT.. Your results are almost always equal to the amount you pay them... Any way... I have had court appointed lawyers tell me the same thing they told Stephen and you.. Now.. Is that legal?? How about ethical? Heck no.. But it is what you find in most states.. And lord forbid you have a federal public defender.. They are usually scared to death of putting up a good fight!

Lastly.. (and I will go into details in the Texas forum on this too) He probably will get into a number of fights at the start.. Inmates like to see what the "new boots" are about..

These next two years are not going to be easy but you and he can make the best out of them. And we will be with you every step of the way.. There is a great group of continually growing people here that all will help you like they have so many others...

Again, welcome and I please let me know if there is anything you need.

David

:fb: Prisoner Support, Prisoner Support, Prisoner Support :fb:

Thank you so much for your kind words.May God Bless you for the wonderful support you have created here! I cant wait to tell Stephen!

Amelia,
Welcome. his site was a relief to me too!!!:D . My fiance was in prison in NY and NJ and now in FL. According to him nothing compares to Rikers Island. People who have been there call it the jungle. Since I'm a worry wart ... he told me one night in Rikers and you can do hard time anywhere. Do I still worry? YES. From what He's told me during his first bid he was approached and they tried to rape him. He told them you can rape me but you'll have to kill me first. Had a fist fight. Got beat up by about 5 guys and that was the end of it. He said all they want to see is that you are not afraid of them. If you are they will take advantage of you from that point on, if your not they leave you alone. He said once he stood up to them they gave him respect that he fought back. Do i agree with how he handeled the situation, by fighting? No, he isn't the type of guy who enjoys fighting or condones it but he explained after one fight, even if you lose, and they see you are not scared they leave you alone. People who have low self esteem need to find others to take advantage of so they can make themselves feel better. Just remember 2 years may seem like a long time but he'll be home before you know it. My guy has been gone over a year and now that I look back on it, it has gone by fairly quickly. Tell him to make one or 2 good friends if he can and besides that stay to himself. For you, keep busy as much as you can and remember no matter how bad you have it someone else has it worse! My prayers and thoughts are with you.

I cant believe how some kind and encouraging words can make me feel so much better! I feel for you both Bella and ill have you guys in my prayers. I look oward to being a part of this group and helping others while being helped myself..Thank you fo rthe advice I am going to pass the story on to Stephen..Keep your head up!! GOD BLESS!

Welcome to the group!! f you need any thing as far as the Christian spiritual goes, let me know. Be Blessed, Lee
You are in our prayers and, of course, Stephen too!!

Amelia,
Welcome to the group. I am sure you will find they are so helpful in getting through "our" time no matter the length. My loved one is down for a 15 year bit. He's been down more then up for real. I have heard many horror stories, not that I have experience myself but like someone else said,he said alot of the guys like to test you. I worry myself way to much with those stories. Try not to let yourself get down. Its hard, but girl with the love we have for these men, surely we will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your chin up, we all will make it!

Amelia...
Just another welcome from another person who understands what it is to worry and miss your man while he is away. There is great comfort to be had here. As for what your man may face while he does his time, it does just depend on where he is and how he carries himself. I used to work in a state prison and really didn't see as much "horror" as I expected to, in fact there were times when I saw inmates really befriend one another and help one another out.... so there is hope!! Remember, that all of our wonderful loved ones are also incarcerated... and we all consider them wonderful people who just like your husband made some less than good choices, but their hearts are golden!
Peace!

Thank you all for all your kindness. I have a new sense of hope and relief..maybe it wont be SO bad..We can start a totally new life when he is done. I look foward to getting to know all of you much better..thank you for your friendship...also does anyone know any Bible verses I can send to my husband to keep his spirits up? We are new Christians and I do not want his hunger for the Lord to diminish because he is in there..:)

I think his hunger will only grow in there but passing on scriptures is a good idea.. It'll probably go both ways..
I don't mean this to sound bad but he is a "captive audience" and will focus on things much more than he had time to before.. Keep his "focus" on good things! :)

PSALMS 46:1-3;138:7;18:2;22:24;37:24; 37:39;55:22;JOHN 16:33; MT.11:28; 2 COR. 1:5;PSALMS 9:9;27:14
HERE ARE SOME FOR A START. THEY HAVE TO DO WITH THE
COMFORT ONE GETS KNOWING THAT GOD IS THERE FOR US NO MATTER WHAT CONDITION WE ARE IN. " WHILE YET WE WERE(ARE) SINNERS, CHRIST DIED FOR US." iF YOU NEED ANYTHING, LIKE WRITTING LETTERS OR JUST A PLACE TO VENT, I'M AVAILABLE. BE BLESSED!!- LEE

My husband is in a texas prison. You are right they are not nice but he will be alright as long as he trusts God. Anthony my husband got a 12 year bit. He has served almost 3 of them and it has gone by pretty fast. It only slows down when parole comes up. Just stay positive and remember they worry about us too. Do you visit or can you visit. That is one thing my husband says really helps him. If you want to talk just email me or leave a message. Us wives need to stick together. I am also a single parent. I only have 2 but I can feel you with how difficult it is! God Bless

:wave:

thanks fo rthe kind words! He is in Hidalgo county jail fo rnow we still have some charges pending hopefully he wont go for any more than the 2 years...only thing he i sgoing to state jail for a probation violation so he will do the whole 2 no parole...It is encouraging to hear that 3 years went pretty fast I can visit him every weekend so I go every Saturday.They make it so hard you have to wait at least 2-3 hours for 20 minutes on a phone..My kids miss him alot I think my 3 year old is making her self sick stomach aches and all...but i am doing my best with it..giving them extra love any light you can shed on the texas prison system and how they work would be helpful, visiting, what we can send to them if anything, what it is like inside from what your husband tells you etc...I agree we need to stick together

My husband says somethings are worse then others. It really does depend on where he ends up. The unit (prison) he in on will depend a lot on how and what he will encounter. My 2 boys miss anthony a lot but the visits do help.

As far a visits go he can have 4 a month for 2 hours a time. If you have to travel more then 300 miles to visit then you can get special visits set up for saturday and sunday for 4 hours a day. if that is the case just call the wardens office and set them up. Other wise just show up and if he has other people who may visit check with them too. Only one visit a weekend is allowed NO EXCEPTIONS!!

If your husband keeps his mouth shut and just rolls with the flow he should be alright. Let me tell you for the most part he will need to stick to people in his own race. They are big on that. So just tell him to becareful. Depending on his crime he may want to keep his charges to himself. Just tell him not to bullshit people and not to be a big talker. He will be alright.

ok..I am going to try and attach some pictures of our family..I am new tothis so if it doesnt work bear(did I spell that right?) with me...here goes nuttin!!

ok that is me and stephen..man it is huge...I am proud it worked:D

here are our kids...

oops forgot to attach it..haha...

and another...sorry there are5 and i dont know how to attach more than one at a time...

this is the last...

Amelia- ALL the pics are great!! You two look like such a sweet couple. And your kids are precious!!!

Sherri

Amelia-by the way , what are your kids names and ages?

Sherri

Amelia...
Aww... you are so blessed... your children are beautiful!! :)

Thank you very much!! Gracielle is the oldest -6 (the school pic) then there are the theree together--Travis-5 (on the left), Sabrina-3 ( on the right) Victoria-almost 2 (in the middle) and then there is the baby..we call him Lil Steph--Stephen Jr.-1 (guess you can figure who he is...:D) Thanks for the compliments..they are my pride and joy even if they drive me absolutely nuts!! They are all stubborn like their Daddy...gotta love em though!! I was a little leary about putting them on here but I wanted you all to see them...you all are special to me!

hey, you are special to us too-and thanks for letting us into your life-we love you!!
sherri

Thanks Sherri!

They are so cute.... That was so nice to share your babies with us I need to do that too.

Thanks! I just wanted to share my lil crazies with you all!:D

Amelia, they are beautiful and I wish you all the blessings with them.
Michelle

thanks Michelle...:D

Amelia i am just now looking at your pic nice couple you guys are and the children they are such cuties...hugs, JER

thank you! :D

Amelia, I am also just seeing these pictures for the first time! Your children are so so cute and the picture of you and Stephen is great. It was nice to read your story and just know a little bit more on what you are going through. I so agree, PTO has been a God send and I'm so happy to know you and the all the others!

Pamela

thank you for the compliments....aren't they all so cute? hee hee sorry abou tthe bragging! I dont know where i would be without PTO....it has literally saved my life...all thanks to DAvid for Dreaming it and making it reality and all the others for amking it REAL!