:help: :help: MY GUY IS NOT COME OUT UNTILL 2MORE YEARS AND HE TELLS ME THAT HE WILL CHANGE AND DO GOOD WHEN HE COMES OUT BUT HONESTLY I WANT TO BELIEVE HIM THE PROBLEM IS NOW I DID A STUPID ONE NIGHT STAND AND I GOT pregnant BUT IM NOT GOING TO HAVE IT SHOULD I TELL HIM OR JUST GO AHEAD AND DO IT WITH OUT MY GUY KNOWING? PLZ ANYONE I NEED UR OPINION :cry:

WOW! I think you really need to sit down and think about what you want...do you want to wait for 2 more years, are you going to be faithful and if not at least be careful. I think you have some talking with your man to do. I am not saying you have to be totally honest here but to hide this kind of secret from him for the rest of your lives together might get a lttle hard on you.
Good luck!

Lovespell is right - it's time to get responsible - for your life, health and your guy. You'll get a lot of opinions, but only you know how you will feel about the abortion and whether it will weigh you down. If it will, then it's something to share if not with him, then with someone you trust. If you can get beyond it with relative ease, then it's possible to just let it be - it would certainly be a tough one for him to have to handle while he's in.

Well....that is a tuff one....2 years is nothing...my man still has some more years to go and Im sticking by him...it is not easy let me tell you that but take a moment and take a look at the real pic....if you are willing to pretty much do his time with him then stick around...now, about not keeping the baby wow that is a tuff one but a baby is a blessing from God and you don't know if you will have that opportunity again...only you can decide that....take some time for yourself and think it through...

Best to you in all you do....

I agree with Karla0213 my man also needs 2 more years and we have been together for almost 3 yrs. now and the temptation will always be thier and the doubt as well but you have to make a choice as a woman. I don't beleive in abortions and I also believe that honesty is the best policy but that's just me. You really have to ask yourself if he is worth it or not? If he really is going to change or not ? you know him better than any one of us. so sit down and really think about want you want and really stick with it. I wish you the best of luck with your situation.
God bless.:)

damn.. diz is really a hard decision but like everyone else has told you... is a decision that your gonna make and no one else will do it for you....

i agree w/Libra1523 TEMPTATION is alwayz there.. but is on you to CONTROL it..
and Only you know ur Man! and know if he's really going to change or not..... i mean do u see ur self w/him in the FUTURE?? datz something you should think bout?? but is ur decision to do whatever you want..
But.....Good Luck! and Much Love

Girl,

Whew! This is a decision you have to come to on your own..If you don't tell him and you start feeling guilty, then what? You know yourself better than all of us. You also need to be careful about sleeping with men w/o protection because there are so many different diseases out there and some of them you cannot get rid of nowadays.

sorry I don't beleive in doing away with a life, if it were me I would have the baby and know I'll always have some one to love and that this very precious life would be able to love me back and nothing in this life could be better than that!!

If you really love this guy, you have to be honest. I understand not making a good choice, and I do understand we have wants/needs. However, if you are in love and plan a future with this man he will eventually find out. I was confident in my decision to abort a pregnancy when I was young, however I felt much loss later on. It was burden I could not carry alone. Think about how you will feel about the decision later on on, and who do you think you confide in the most? The one you love. Who knows you, and knows when something is wrong? The one you love. Secrets like this can only hurt a relationship. The truth can too. Which can you live with and ask yourself again what is the right thing to do?

Tell your man, if you don't want the child then give it up for adoption. We'll take it. But to take your mistakes out on someone else, even the unborn is wrong.
If your labito is that high you need to let yourself go, hit a toy store, they don't spread disease or cause unwanted pregnancies. I've heard they can even replace a man.
I know that while I was locked up that there were plenty of men swooping in on the Mrs. trying to wooo her. From the mans point of view, I'd rather be told and have a say in what happens.
I'd also expect the baby's real father to have a say. It's his child too. Maybe he wants it.
This should not be your decision alone.

Tell your man, if you don't want the child then give it up for adoption. We'll take it. But to take your mistakes out on someone else, even the unborn is wrong.
If your labito is that high you need to let yourself go, hit a toy store, they don't spread disease or cause unwanted pregnancies. I've heard they can even replace a man.
I know that while I was locked up that there were plenty of men swooping in on the Mrs. trying to wooo her. From the mans point of view, I'd rather be told and have a say in what happens.
I'd also expect the baby's real father to have a say. It's his child too. Maybe he wants it.
This should not be your decision alone.

I totally agree, My husband and i both went to the toy store before he went in. Toys are the best, they don't talk back and when you get tired of them you can put them away. Besides they don't complain about anything.

Tell your man, if you don't want the child then give it up for adoption. We'll take it. But to take your mistakes out on someone else, even the unborn is wrong.
If your labito is that high you need to let yourself go, hit a toy store, they don't spread disease or cause unwanted pregnancies. I've heard they can even replace a man.
I know that while I was locked up that there were plenty of men swooping in on the Mrs. trying to wooo her. From the mans point of view, I'd rather be told and have a say in what happens.
I'd also expect the baby's real father to have a say. It's his child too. Maybe he wants it.
This should not be your decision alone.
100% RIGHT:yes: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Your right to your reproductive health is a fundamental right. Don't let anybody else tell you that you have to have a baby-it is your right to make that decision. If you do not want to go through a pregnancy and/or keep a baby-have an abortion. Whether you tell your man is a separate issue. Don't get tied down by other people's moral hang-ups. Please PM me if you need support about any kind of reproductive health issues privately. Every one over age 11 knows about abortion. Unfortunately most of what they know is wrong. Be safe. Live your life and your truth.

Uhm, Gang... I realize that feelings run VERY strong on the topic of abortion but I need to remind everyone that their opinion is exactly that, an opinion, no more and no less valid than anyone else's stance. Abortion is not actually the subject here. The question on the table is "Should she tell her man what has happened."
We are edging very close to breaking PTO's "Golden Rule" of being non-judgemental, and I want to remind everyone to play nicely.

As to the original question, Oh, Darlin', what a rough place to be! I am so sorry that a moment's weakness has had such serious consequences for you.
I realize that I'll be in the minority here, but I say unless you change your mind about terminating the pregnancy, that it would be cruel to tell your man. All it would do is cause him pain and anger when he can do nothing but stew in it. If, after he is released, you feel he needs to know, that's your call, but for now, I believe ignorance is bliss and that letting him remain ignorant of this would be a kindness.
PM me if you need an ear.

Attn: Please lets all stay on topic here. There was a certain question asked for opinions on. Lets not judge! Personal feelings on abortion were not asked for and please keep them to ourselves.

:help: :help: MY GUY IS NOT COME OUT UNTILL 2MORE YEARS AND HE TELLS ME THAT HE WILL CHANGE AND DO GOOD WHEN HE COMES OUT BUT HONESTLY I WANT TO BELIEVE HIM THE PROBLEM IS NOW I DID A STUPID ONE NIGHT STAND AND I GOT pregnant BUT IM NOT GOING TO HAVE IT SHOULD I TELL HIM OR JUST GO AHEAD AND DO IT WITH OUT MY GUY KNOWING? PLZ ANYONE I NEED UR OPINION :cry:

Wow honey, I can only imagine what you are going through right now. The only advice I can give you is to follow your heart. Things happen for a reason. I'm positive that if you follow your heart things will work out just fine. You are the only person who can decide if it's right to tell your man or not. Weigh the pros and cons. Will it help the situation if you tell your man? Will it make it worse? Think about it and I know the answer will come to you. Good luck!

Laura, William'sBaby:heart:

Just Do It It Will Hurt Him If U Tell Him Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid I Think This Is One Of Them But If U Truly Think He Will Forgive U And Notleave U When He Comes Home And If Ur Planning On Being W/him Forever Then Tell Him

whats going to happen when he comes home and he hears this story from someone else?

I agree with lovespell too, you need to really think about this one, it's a very complicated thing. If you tell your man he might just not want to see you anymore, and if you don't tell him, will you be able to live with this secret? I can only imagine how you must feel at the time but remember to stay strong and I'm sure that whatever decision you take will be the right one for all of you. But be careful and think everything through, good luck. :)

Rebeca

I think you need to listen to your spirit, not what anyone else says. Your body, your choice. Not anyone else's.Stay strong!

Sorry to hear about your story. But I think the key word here is HONESTY! you would want your man to be honest with you at all times. Its best if he hears it coming from you than him hearing it from the mouth of some one else. As far as your pregnancy that is your choice like everyone else said follow your heart. :thumbsup: good luck to you!
I think you need to listen to your spirit, not what anyone else says. Your body, your choice. Not anyone else's.Stay strong!

You can't just go on and pretend nothing happened, your man will find out sooner or later and he might even think different of you if he ever knew you got rid of your baby just to be okay with yourself and or him.... anyway I honestly think you should tell him. It's not healthy for your relationship to keep those kind of secrets from eachother. I think you should let him decide if he still wants to continue with the relationship.

hey girl........im sorry you have to be going through this....my advise is you gotta let him know if your planing to wait 2 more years and be with him forever.......whats done is doen and you could only look forward...about the baby thats you personally decision...noone can hold you back but what i could tell is that you have to be a responsible adult. the outcome of you tellin him might not be the best but hey you came clean and thats what matters.whatever you do dont expect him to be "whatevers" about it...its gunna bother him and you cant help it......put yourself in your shoes. i know temptation is there but before you make your choice think if you will be able to resist that temptation for 2 more years and if your not then maybe your making the wrong decision about the baby good luch chica stay strong..~kathy~

I think in order for you to make this decision about whether to continue with the pregnancy or not, you need to think about if you weren't with your man and this same thing happened. Would you still want to abort the pregnancy? Is this solely based on what you believe you can or cannot handle emotionally/financially/physically right now?

This decision in my opinion must be completely based on YOUR feelings. You shouldn't decide to do this instead of telling your man that you messed up or because you are scared he might leave you. If you do that and then regret it you will grow to resent him sub-concsiously and will eat away at your relationship. Not to mention your mind and your heart.

I truly hope you do some soul searching about what is best for YOU and this baby. I'm not going to preach on abortion, I do believe people should have a choice, but remember there are other options like adoption. I placed my son for open adoption when I was 17 so if you have any questions about that feel free to PM me.

Good luck with your decision. We will be here to support you regardless.


Hugs!

Erin

I'm a little confused. Also i'm not here to debate the abortion issue, but are you terminating your pregnancy because your afraid of what your man will say? If you think he can handle the truth and except the fact that you had an error in judgment than share it with him. If not, keep it to yourself. Why put added stress on yourself during this difficult time.

I realize that I'll be in the minority here, but I say unless you change your mind about terminating the pregnancy, that it would be cruel to tell your man. All it would do is cause him pain and anger when he can do nothing but stew in it. If, after he is released, you feel he needs to know, that's your call, but for now, I believe ignorance is bliss and that letting him remain ignorant of this would be a kindness.

I agree with this statement whole heartedly. I truly feel that it would NOT be smart to tell your man, at least while he is in. IF you are not going to keep the baby (which, by the way, is YOUR decision... and don't listen to anyone else's opinion on that issue) then for sure don't tell your man. It will only cause hurt and anger, both things which make it difficult to survive on a yard with hundreds of other men... you don't want to cause him to do something rash in there.

If when he gets out, you still feel that you should tell him, then let that be the time to do it. Telling him while he is in is only going to make a hard time for him that much harder.

And as for your situation... everyone makes mistakes. Hang in there. Everything has a way of working itself out one way or another. :)