I met Noel online...back in December 05. I sent him a christmas card to introduce myself...when he wrote me back a 9 page letter i freaked out...and since then i have been in love...BUT WILL THIS WORK? i got approved this month to go and visit...but can i? he has more then enough pictures of me...but will he like me? will he be attracted to me...does he really love me? i need advice.

PLEASE HELP!
Eloisa

I think everyone, or at least most who met their boyfriends/husbands while incarcerated have/had thoughts like this. I think you should go visit him, because then you'll get the confirmation you are seeking. Not only from him, but you will learn if what you feel for him is really true. I am sure he will love you even more when he has more than just pictures. He already knows you by heart. The rest is just details. :) I hope you have a wonderful visit with him and that you come back here and tells us all how awesome it was! I am visitiing my BF in June for the first time. ;)

I totally agree with LV Cassi, you should go visit him. I too was like you, I had all those worries, I got my now boyfriend's info. from a penpal website and we hit it off right from the start. That was in March of 05, then on July 31 of 05 I went to visit him for the first time and boy was I nervous, but everything was fantastic and our visit was awesome, in October he asked me to be his gf and I said yes. Things could only be better for us if he was out here. =)

Bottom line is, we all go through those fears and we have those questions in our minds at one point in time or another. But just go with the flow and you'll see that everything will be fine. Don't forget to update us!

P.S. LV Cass, Good luck to you too on your first visit, enjoy! =)

I met Sean face to face the first time after he got out. We wrote and spoke on the phone for 10 months. I could never bring myself to go visit him. I'm not sure why i never went. He would ask me all the time, but i never did. Then he made Parole. From the first moment together i knew he was the one. We spent 45 days together before he went back for PO violation. He now has 15 months to serve out. As soon as he is allow visits i'm there.

If i could do it all over again, i wouldn't change not going to see him (the first time he was locked up). to me it made our relationship that much stronger. before we had anything we had words.

Just remember to be your self. I'm sure he is having the same thoughts as you. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens....

Give it time... get to know him. Any relationship, in or out of prison takes time to nuture and grow. Just relax, go meet him and take it from there!!

good luck!

Thanks Lucky :D In a few months I will probably post all my "weird" worries, but for now I'm in control. June is still "far" away.

ElovesN ~ Noone can predict if it will work out or not but that is true for ANY relationship not just one where half of the couple is incarcerated at the beginning. I know that we all have had our fears at one time or another but they subside as time goes by. I know that meeting Sebastian face to face was such a powerful thing for me even if it did happen a few months after we had started talking and even though it happened in a crowded prison visiting room. His homecoming was amazing and proof in my case that "Yes, this CAN work". It is unfortunate that he had to go back in but we are still solidly together and we will be once he is home again.

Take it easy and give yourself some time to make the decisions that are in your best interest. You are the only one who can determine the best path for you to follow. Whatever the decision we're here for you.

Best of luck,
Patty

I just meet Bear for the first time last January 2006, after writing & phone calls for over a year. I was nervous and so unsure, but once I got there. He made me feel comfortable and like we were together from the start.

Go and meet him and then decide. Trust me you see more of your own flaws then anyone else does. I know when I first met my guy the very first letter I got from him after that was about him and what I thought of him and his fears about himself and if he was what I thought he would be.

Can this work? Man that is something I ask myself everyday of my life. If I wait through his whole bid and he decides to leave I would of wasted 10 years of my life and I tell you that would suck considering I'm not getting any younger. So to me this better work! But you definately need to meet him seeing his face in person for the first time is better than any letter he wrote.

Take it day by day you will know if it is right, your heart will tell you. mine did...

I met Rob while working at the Regional Jail he was in, I knew right away he was the one, we talked for weeks, We knew we loved each other ! He asked me to marry him in booking in front of COs and everyone, cried like a baby said yes, quit the next morning to be with him ( they were going to fire me anyways LOL) Since then it gets better everyday! I love him more than words could ever say! We are to be married this year and I cant wait to be Mrs. Moats :) I know Rob is my soulmate I have never felt so much love and joy (other than when my boys were born) :)

WHEN I FIRST STARTED WRITTING HIM...I DIDNT THINK IT WOULD COME TO THIS POINT...SO NOW I QUESTION EVERYTHING...I WILL ADMIT WE DID KINDA RUSH INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP...HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRL LAST MONTH...I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO THINK TWICE...I SAID YES...IM LISTENING TO MY HEART...AND ITS TELLING ME HE IS THE ONE...BUT IS HE? WHEN WILL I KNOW? MAYBE AFTER I GO SEE HIM I SUPPOSE...WHAT IF HE DECIDES THAT I AM NOT HIS TYPE WHEN HE SEES ME? I WOULD DIE...I LOVE THIS MAN...BUT DAMN WILL IT WORK?......

If you think you are nervous think how he is feeling about meeting you for the first time-Wondering the same thing as you are wondering-Is it going to work? Good luck

You will be able to tell as soon as you meet him and touch him and kiss him. You should know if he really loves you by the way he treats you and kisses you. I feel in love at first kissand so did he. But you have to know if this is really what you want. Plus the "Father" has to be involved to make it through until he gets out. Good luck!:)

Go for your visit, you will never know until you go! What if when you see him you dont like him? Maybe you dont feel the same way? But you will never know until you do it! It's just like when you first started corresponding with him, you didnt know the outcome until you did it!

I am sure you will be just fine and are just having a case of the eebie-jeebies! :eek: :eek:

Go hug your man girl!!! Love and hug him all up!:p

GO gogogogogogogogogogoogogogo!!

I think that I'm approved and I can't wait to jump into my boo's arms. I think that you'll get a sense of who this guy is and what he's about even in a prison visiting room.

I am in the same situation. I started talking to my honey in feb 2006 and I really want to meet him but i am worried about it. I talked to his mom and she told me she would go with me to visit him so i would not be as worried. but what are you suppous to say or how are you suppous to react? i feel like i would want to give him a hug but would that be appropriet on the first visit and first time meeting??

It's different for everyone and it will come naturally. Maybe you are overthinking it. I know the first time I laid eyes on Sebastian (other than a picture) was when he walked into that visiting room and I thought, "There's my man!"

Patty

the first time I was supposed to visit was on a Saturday I was so sick with nerves and trying on clothes and I am a big girl and so concerned about my weight and if he would be put off by that I ended up making myself so sick and not sleeping all night I couldn't go.
I went the next day and it was love at first site for both of us and 14 months later we got married. So it can work, I think he later told me he was nervous I would not find him attractive or he would not know what to say.

Honey, I felt the same way!! Paul and I were writing for about seven months before we met face to face. I was so nervous I thought I would throw up! At first I felt a tiny bit uncomfortable, but once we were talking, it felt "right". I don't know any other way to describe it. And that first kiss sealed the deal. I love him and I know for sure now he loves me. YEAH!!!!