I have personally been in two other relationships with guys incarcerated and neither of them worked out. Both I knew briefly before they went in and decided to wait. Neither of them were much over a year of waiting. Despite all the promises, letters, phone calls,and money spent, things did not work the way I hoped. I swore I'd never involve myself with another man in jail or prison. It's very difficult waiting and praying that he is on the up and up, praying that they will be who they promise when they get out. Well despite my own advice, I am very much in love with someone else that is incarcerated, and will be for some time. I feel with all my heart and soul that this man is the one. There are very different things about him that I didn't experience before. The most important being he never asks me for anything. He pays for his own calls, and he is very open and honest with me. We share everything. He adores me and makes sure I know it.This just feels right. Just wondering what makes your guys or girls soooooo special that you are waiting on them. What things make you know, they are the one?

I took a huge leap of faith when I first met Sebastian (we met during his incarceration by way of a misdialed phone call). I had recently ended a bad relationship and was in no hurry to pursue another one but fate intervened and LOVE HAPPENED. I did 14 months on that bid with him during which time we got to know all the good and the bad about one another. For me what makes him so special is his honesty, his connection to family, his ability to stay calm when we have pressing issues to discuss. He listens to me and makes every effort to let me know that he cares about me. He is way easy on the eyes too, LOL.

When he came home he was just who he said he was and I couldn't have been more pleased. He's back in now for a short time only and will come home off paper which we look forward to. I'm waiting again for all the reasons I stated above.

Best of luck to you,
Patty

Oh! Patty, 'easy on the eyes', sounds just like Tony!!

I think the way Tony conducts himself after spending all those years on the Row first attracted me to him. It has to be a very special person who doesn't end up bitter and twisted after such a miscarriage of justice. He's good, kind and honest and for someone who has lost so much, level headed, and so very sensitive. He's who he is and I love him for that.

Rose

Well like everyone has said its just a chance that you take, and if it feels right, then you go for it,I haven't heard to many stories, where the guys change from the person who they, seem to be, I think most are true to what they say, and want to change there life, and is hoping for a new beggining, with someone new, someone that different, and someone who has love to give to a person they never meet

I met Obe while he was incarcerated 12 years ago through another inmate and fell hopelessly in love with him for all the wonderful words he said and the way he was. We were fortunate to spend three loving, wonderful months together where he adored me and did and said all the wonderful things he always said and wrote about while inside. Then because of the after effects of his motorcycle accident that occurred 5 days after his release drove him to drug addiction, he left. He was picked up for breaking parole and did six months. I think about 8/9 months later he was picked up again this time for 11 years 4 months. Nearly 10 years later after having cleaned up his act, he contacted me to apologize for all the hurt he caused and how much he's changed and how he had hoped I could forgive him. As he's always been the most loving man I've ever been with, not only was I able to forgive him for leaving me, I have fallen more in love with him now thant I was all those years ago. He has much help inside thanks to the EOP program and has abandoned all his old ways and has been clean and sober for over 10 years now. So, come May 7, 2007, I look forward to the wonderful life we planned all those years ago with the confidence it will happen this time with God's help and his continued determination.

The mere fact of his existence. :-) In my world, he's the greatest, and most of all, we are together. I am so glad that he's home and we can continue to show each other the love and like that we have for one another.

I got to know him very slowly and came to see he is an honest person... we know each other so well now it's weird :p...

He may never get out, so worrying about him "changing" when he's home is not an issue. I just have to take who he is today as the real him, there is no "other" him anymore...

Queenbees 21, What a beautiful story. I wish you nothing but the best!!!!!!!

I too met my hubby through a mutual friend. We took it very slow and 2 years later we married. We have sooo many things in common it's almost scarry. I have, as yet, to hear an untruth come out of his mouth. We do all the things that married people out here do except fall asleep together each night, but that will come in time. I have never met anyone comparable to him on the outs. Since honesty is one of the most important ingredients in a relationship I believe we have it made!

. . . What things make you know, they are the one?
When I look into myself I see what's missing in him -- "that 'missing' rib" that was taken from him to create [his] woman is found in me. That's why though we have nothing in common, there is much about us that is the same. :o

I too have been involved once before with someone who was incarcerated, we were together before he went in and all the promises made, and lies told led me to a very bad break-up in the end. Then I met Marcus....And what makes him so special is that he makes me feel special. I dont feel like I am here for him as a financial support system, because he never asks for anything, other than my time. And he told me in the beginning and tells me all the time, when I come home I am going to show you that I want to be with you. he doesnt ask me to be faithful to him because he says he wants a fair chance at me. To show me things, take me places. But I choose to stay faithful, because of of how special he makes me feel!


Did I just start rambling? LOL

I first met him when we were kids, I was 15 and he was 17 and we were both fairly wild. When he was sentenced I was too young to be able to handle it. Well after 27 years of being separated and him always on my mind, I decided to bite the bullet and find out how he was, what he was like now.
I couldn't have been more shocked at what I found. In this man who had been in for 27 years, 5-1/2 of them spent on death row, I found simply the most honest, sincere, kind-hearted, open, gentle, loving man I have ever met. He has never lied to me about anything, openly admits his guilt in his case, and his extreme remorse for his victim, his victim's family, his own family and himself.
He has not been anything but unfailingly kind and loving to me. Not one cross word has come thru, nothing but concern for my welfare, even to the point of warning me what loving him would include.
I can honestly say, tho at times my heart breaks for what may never be ours, I don't regret one moment of being back together with him. He inspires me. Thru others I have met that have involvement with the corrections system, on both sides of it, I have discovered he has a huge reputation for reaching out to others and helping them thru their sojourn despite the fact that his is a life sentence and the others he has helped have an end in sight. He is a remarkable man. I've never met anyone as genuine as he is out here. I can only strive to be half the person he is. He makes me proud to be called "his woman."

I feel so encouraged by all the different answers., Thank you all so very much. This road is not easy, but having this supportive PTO family is a blessing. I know that there are no guarantees in life. Today I just feel blessed for the love my sweetie and I have found, or should I say that found us. I believe destiny played a hand in this union. Peace and blessings to you all.

Hi,

Well I don't know exactly, but I guess that he brings out something in me that nobody has. To me he is perfect and I really feel that he is the one for me, I am 99% sure that he thinks the same way, he doesn't ask me for anything either he is very considerate about everything, he even helps with the visits, I just love him all of him. =)

Rebeca

He and I wanted the same things, he's very close to his family and I am too. The biggest thing that means so much to me is that he shows a genuine intrest for Kaley and for my brother, who is also incarcerated.

he makes me smile. not just any old :)...but a full fledged :D. i love him SO much...he brings out the kid in me, he knows how to handle me and he knows exactly what i'm thinking and feeling, and he helps me to express myself in ways that i wasn't sure if i'd ever be able to. we fit together like a puzzle, everything that i'm not so good in he is perfect to help me with, and vice versa. we both believe in God and have a faith that's getting stronger everyday. we have a beautiful family and our love is sealed by honesty, openess, trust, and communication. he'd let them bury him under the jail as long as we could be together, and i love that about him. he gives himself 100% to me and our family. i can't help but to give myself 100% to him, i'm hopelessly in love with him. :blush:

When Kevin and I first started writing we were casual friends who shared a common bond. I was incarcerated at one time as well. A long time ago I lived the fast life, selling drugs, being a Bad Gal. Obviously because of where he is he has been a BAD BOY. We talked alot about the past, the way we used to live and how life, time and maturity change us so dramatically. As we got to know each other more, things just struck me as so special. His writing is so eloquent, he is intelligent, well read, open minded. The attention he lavishes on me makes me feel like a princess. I had a major issue going on in my life and he was there to support me through it all when no one else was. There is something so deep about the mental bond that two people can make when the relationship isn't clouded by sex. He knows every secret, every fantasy and every bad habit. He admires me and I admire his strength and integrity. Only recently did we get to the physical aspect. Yes we had pictures and of course I found him attractive but after spending time together there are so many things that I find attractive. In a nutshell I simply know in my heart that this man is my soul mate and I would wait another 10 years to be by his side as his friend, partner, wife. Thankfully it will not be that long.

Aww Lisa That is sooo sweet! Your so in Love!:p

Sniff Sniff, awwwwww Lisa how wonderful. God Bless you and yours girl.

What makes my hubby so special - plain and simple answer, he excepts me for the way I am. He shows me the ultimate respect. I never quite managed that before with men I was involved with. They seemed to always be expecting changes. My husband loves me for who I am now, not for what I was or what I might become.

Rob, is amazing, he listens to me, and talks to me about everything. He shows me so much love and caring, even behind those walls. He worries about me and my feelings, all he wants is me happy, its crazy I have never had a man so caring in my life. He makes me feel like I am the only woman in the world, like I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, he loves me for me! Makes me feel so special Its amazing! :)

This is my first relationship with someone that is incarcerated...And so far he is the most amazing guy i have ever met...hes not only fine as hell but he and i have so much in common...we have been writting since last Dec...and i am going to visit him for the first time this coming weekend...i want to get it done and over with...he has already asked me to be his girl friend...and i have gladly taken on that role...i love this man...and all i can do is hope for the best...wish me luck with my visit!

there isnt enough room on this entire site to say all the things that makes him soooo special to me....but the fact that there isnt another man living and breathing that can make me feel the way he does..... he sets my heart and soul on fire with just the mere thought of him!!!!!! i never knew what joy looked and felt like....it was just a word in my vocabulary....loving someone has never been so easy....i finally know what it means to exhale!!!!!!