Just because a child is with a woman or man, it's not an automatic given that the child is theirs. Women are always seen with children but the child is not always theirs. The child could be one they're babysitting, or it could be a relative, or it could be a friend of their own child's. People do bring children who are not theirs to visit. So when people opt to not assume it's your kid but to instead simply ask "is that your child?", why is it so much easier for you to regard that and the asker as ignorant, stupid, dumb and the like rather than as curiosity, politely responding with a "yes, he's/she's my child :)"?

Folks, please try and understand that my question is not about "then don't post if you don't like the question", but about enlightenment, about each one teach one, about enlightening me as to why that question aggrevates you so much because it does not aggrevate women in same race relationships AT ALL. :confused:

hesohandsome,

my husband is mixed half hispanic and half back and im black all the way so on some level i guess im in a ir marriage....but heres my point.....when i bring my son with me to see him....they all want to know is he his???? when they know dam well he isn't....they can look at him and see he's not his....but they test the waters to see how i will react to the question.....but me being the lady i am....i simply tell them "no hes not his he's ours" and i turn and strut on.....i leave'vm there with there mouths hanging open lookin stupid!!!!! but if i wanted to get raw i could easly tell them all it aint none of their business...cause it aint no ones business!!!!! i can tolorate friends and associates.... but they wouldn't ask me no assine question like that... if people would mind their own business the world would get along a whole lot better!!!!!

I feel u have a point. My daughter is bi-racial(black&white) but it really doesn't make me ad when people say "is she your daughter". But at times I feel like only black women ask me that and I guess its because I am white. So it doesn't make me mad but its just like I feel like saying ....just cause I am not the same skin..tone she can't be mine!!!!lol. I feel some people just ask to be nosey....you know how some people can be. But in the most part I think people are just wondering..cause usually they say..."OH SHE IS SO PRETTY, IS SHE YOUR DAUGHTER...AWWE..SHE IS GOING TO BRAKE SO MANY HEARTS WHEHN SHE GETS OLDER!!!!"..and so I just answer there question. I think now a days we all are to quick to jump and take offense to everything people say, and thats not how we need to act.

. . . I think people are just wondering..cause usually they say..."OH SHE IS SO PRETTY, IS SHE YOUR DAUGHTER...AWWE..SHE IS GOING TO BRAKE SO MANY HEARTS WHEHN SHE GETS OLDER!!!!"..and so I just answer there question. I think now a days we all are to quick to jump and take offense to everything people say, and thats not how we need to act.
Thank you lilmomma -- I agree with what you said because I honestly don't believe for the most part that people are trying to be offensively intrusive, but that they do want to give a compliment, but just asks first.

The heartbraker thing -- people used to tell my little brother and my litter sister that ALL OF THE TIME when they were youngsters :o and that's because when a child is so very cute, it's like they can't help but to say that. Just like when a child is so very cute, sometimes people can't help but to ask "is he or she yours"?

YOUR SO RIGHT HESOHANDSOME!!!!!...WE ALL JUST NEED TO STOP BEING SO QUICK TO TAKE OFFENSE!!!

I just got back from the laundrymat. There was a young woman in there with a young boy and a toddler girl. The man who runs the laundry (assumed the way some of you may have preferred and) told the girl "your daughter is so cute and it looks like she's been walking for a couple months." The woman, with a smile on her face and politeness in her tone told him she wasn't her daughter but god daughter. She said the boy is her son.

He wasn't bein noisey and he was not up in the girl's business, unless to yall that's what you call being up in her business.

They were all black but to me that does not matter because the fact remains the same -- that was not her child. Which means had the child been interracial or dominican or whatever -- she still would not have been the woman's child.

What my hope here is that people think about this and look at yourself possibly coming to grips with it's okay to relax and be courteous when you are asked that question. This way, though you may not care at all about the impression you leave about yourself upon the asker, you nevertheless leave a good impression on them.

My daughter looks like me but I get asked that question all the time, and it has nothing to do with race. It's because she looks like she's at least 16 and I don't look a day over 30.

I think oftentimes when people are asked that question, instead of "leaving a good impression" like you are suggesting, they instead prefer to put the asker in their place to hopefully prevent it from happening to the next person. People get sick and tired of the questions about their and their kid's racial backgrounds. You are right that people need to let more things roll off their back, but the public also needs to stop identifying people based on the color of their skin. Until this happens, people will always be on the defense, especially when it is their babies in the mix. Just my two cents.

. . . but the public also needs to stop identifying people based on the color of their skin.
That was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "dream" back in the 60's, and here in 2006, we're still waiting for that dream to come true.

I did consider that people could get tired of "the questions", but when you have a child that's so cute that people can't resist to comment, if it were me I'd just accept the questions as being part of the territory that comes with being so cute. A solution could be to stop taking up with handsome men but instead with ooogly men. This way the chance runs higher that you'll produce an ugly child. I mean yall know, when the kid is ugly, NOBODY HAS ANYTHING TO SAY :D, but when he/she is cute, it is hard to resist commenting.

My cousin has two boys that are interracial and when they are with me,people all ways look and then look again cause my girls are blonde's with blue eyes. When they keep staring at us my oldest (15) will say come to mommy. Just to make then do a double take. I have had neighbors ask if they are mine. I have lived in the same house for 9 years. I have had some Jerks ask what are they?? I look at them and say KIDS and walk away..You are so right no one should assume any thing..

Just because a child is with a woman or man, it's not an automatic given that the child is theirs. Women are always seen with children but the child is not always theirs. The child could be one they're babysitting, or it could be a relative, or it could be a friend of their own child's. People do bring children who are not theirs to visit. So when people opt to not assume it's your kid but to instead simply ask "is that your child?", why is it so much easier for you to regard that and the asker as ignorant, stupid, dumb and the like rather than as curiosity, politely responding with a "yes, he's/she's my child :)"?

Folks, please try and understand that my question is not about "then don't post if you don't like the question", but about enlightenment, about each one teach one, about enlightening me as to why that question aggrevates you so much because it does not aggrevate women in same race relationships AT ALL. :confused:


I do understand what you are saying .. I do not have a problem with anyone asking me if my lil one is my daughter. Im proud to say it all day .. She is white and i am west indian soi am dark.. She took after her daddy.. :D
My only problem is when i have had white ppl ask me if i am her nanny.. I have even had ppl ask me if she was mines while i was breastfeeding her at the dr office.. : Ok ok.. sometimes i get down right ignorant .. but those ppl i politely told them No i found her in the lobby and she looked hungry:p !!
As I said those type of ignorant jerks i have problems with but other than that .. yes she is mines!!

hmm good question.

i don't have much of a problem with people who ask me if my girls are mine. they're mixed, and they look hispanic. but then again, people say that i look hispanic, and i am not at all. i just answer a nice yes and smile when they compliment them (which they always do :D). my only beef is when people get stupid with it. say you're dark skinned breastfeeding a red haired green eyed little girl and someone rolls up and says, "gee is that your child?" well let's be smart here folks...of course it is or you probably wouldn't be breastfeeding (unless you got hired as a wetnurse). i saw one incident where (besides my own) i couldn't believe that the child was the parent that held her. i was in the ER with my daughter, and this lady was in the ER with her daughter. i thought that maybe she was babysitting or something, until the little girl started to cry and cried for her mommy. and the woman ran right to her and picked her up, and the little girl CLUNG to her and started to suck her thumb. when i looked harder i saw that they looked JUST alike, except that the little girl had red hair and green eyes and fair skin and the mother was the complexion of dark chocolate, with dark brown eyes and her hair was dark and in these kinky like twists (the ones they use with synthetic hair). now THAT caught even me by surprise and i'm pretty much good when it comes to racial differences. my littlest daughter is VERY light with gray eyes and bone straight hair that stands straight up. she doesn't look black or hispanic, but she takes after the german side of her daddy's family and she looks 100% not mixed, but pure white (i joke she's gonna look just like his mother who is german). and when people see her they say, "wow she's so white!" the nurses said the word "pale" when she came out, and her pediatrician uses the word "fair". but in all honesty, she doesn't look anything like my child because she is so fair skinned and she has gray eyes that are turning blue. honestly, it took me about 3 weeks to really get into the fact that she is MY baby, yes, it was a bit of a shock that she is SO fair and her features are SO quaint. now she's only a month old, so she has some growing and filling out to do, but i already know that her skin color isn't going to be much darker than her fathers (i actually think she's gonna be lighter than her daddy). i'm not sure which way her eyes are going, but i know her hair is going to be pretty much straight like daddy's. so i'll be getting ready to hear the questions rolling even more than they already do.

and jillian...i breastfeed too so i'll use that line if they ask me LOL!

My daughter was born when I was just a month past my sixteenth birthday so I got this question but for different reasons. When I'm out with my heart her son/my grandson I've not been asked but folks will make reference to your cute lil boy or whatever and I am certain to proudly tell them, "yes he is cute, he's my grandbaby!"

Patty

My daughter is not mixed but much ligher than me,I get that question all the time because I am 31 but look more like 20/21 so noone really belives my tall,outspoken beautiful daughter is mines. They usually think I am the older sister or something.I think whatever the race a Proud Yes I am her mother usually puts people in their place and my explanation is good genes & "good black don't crack" It satisfies their curiosity.My friend had a baby with a hispanic man and her mother always gets mistaken for the nanny when she is in her predomitanely white white Riverdale neighborhood.She proudly announces it is her granchild.

Hey i'm breastfeeding to! We need to start a breastfeeding thread. Any ways i have 3 biracial children, 2 black/white and 1 hispanic/white. So when my sister who is 22 takes my daughter who is a black/white places she says she gets alot of looks. But i don't pay that attention any more. It's so past those days for me. Now, when i first had my son who is black/white i was the cool girl because i was 17 and had a mixed baby. It was like the cool thing to do when i was a teenager 13 years ago. But now i have realized how selfish i was even trying to get pregnant and be the first of all my firends to have a "mixed" baby. But i love him and my other 2 children so much i would not change anything i have done in the past. But i'm feeling yall on this thread. But a part of me can't understand why we are still having threads like this. It's like were picking apart a chicken who is already shredded to pieces. Ok we have biracial children and people in this world are still uneducated and there is nothing we can do about it except teach our children to be open minded and not to label others by the color of thier skin. Like in Montassori school the children are not labeled as white or black or indian, etc. You will hear the children say "mommy, the girl with the curly hair is my friend". You wont hear that same little girl say "mommy, the balck girl is my friend". We need to teach our children that there is more to others than the color of thier skin. To change this one sided world of ours we have to start somewhere and that somewhere is in our own home with our own children. Can we get over this someday? Maybe?

My daughter is mixed (I'm white and her daddy is black,.. actually mixed himself, as his mother's mother is native american). I have not had a problem with this questioning issue ... I don't think I've ever been asked if my child is mine, and if I have, it went in one ear and out the other and I answered yes. Probably because my child looks so much like me, one would feel like a fool for asking if she is my child.

I live in NW Wisconsin... and around these parts, there are not too many children that are mixed or bi-racial,... there is... but not as common as you'd think. My best friend's children are mixed as well, and when we both go to a store and shop, you can tell quite a few people notice us as we walk along with 2 mixed girls running along side of us and one baby in the cart.

Now that I think about it, people around here like to observe situations a bit (or you could say, be nosey), and by then realize that I'm my child's mother as I'm hollering at my child in a tone of voice only a mother would use.. LOL...Either that or my squakbox child has said "mom, mom, mom" a million times.

I don't think I'd be too offended if someone did ask if my child is mine. I've seen it all too many times where someone has asked a white woman if the white child with her is hers.

Maybe it's just where I live... ?

My daughters look like their daddy. My youngest and I were at the MAC counter in Bloomingdale's on Saturday and the guy who helped us asked me if she was my sister. I had to laugh because first of all, i am Casper the Friendly Ghost and she is a butter-pecan rican as her daddy calls her--she doesn't even come close to looking white. My sister? No, she is my daughter. He looked at me cross eyed and asked her if we were sisters. She replied: "It's ok to be ignorant sometimes, but when my mommy is spending alot of money at your counter, you shouldn't act like that. My daddy is Puerto Rican and my mommy is white. They're an interspecial couple." The poor guy looked like he was going to cry. She meant to say interracial, but was off a bit. Not for the lack of trying!!
I think people are just nosy. Some might be ignorant, but others are just nosy. They don't really care if the kids are yours--they just want to see how we deal with the 21 questions about why i am pink and my kids are polka dotted.

. . . they just want to see how we deal with the 21 questions about why i am pink and my kids are polka dotted.
Well if someone throws foolishness at me I'm not going to throw it back at them because that then makes it difficult for onlookers to decipher which of the two is the fool. I would return the foolishness with humility because then, there's no question of doubt which of the two of us is the fool, and which one humbled themself. That's just my two cents.

Also, I don't regard "is that your child" to be a prying question but more as an introductory question, in the same way that in chat this one may not care anything at all about that one's man, but will start off with an introductory (and not prying) question of "what facility is yours at?"

It's really too bad that you guys have had to deal with the wisenheimers of the world who take stabs at you through your children. It's also too bad that because of those, that EVERYONE who asks "is that your child" or who even "looks at you" could be mistaken/misjudged as one of those wisenheimers.

In my book and what I represent is that children are the innocents of the world. Oh what a beautiful place this could be if everyone felt and thought like me on some issues, but because there is no such thing -- there is no such thing.

***********

"Interspecial" -- how cute is that -- kids are so precious, and then they mess it up by growing up to become US -- wild and crazy grown folks!! :D

It doesn't bother me that people question me, it bothers me that people think that your kids have to be the same color as you. Mine happen to be Puerto Rican and white. They are who they are and I am proud that my husband is Puerto Rican and that we have two beautiful girls.
Mrschris will tell you my youngest is a spitfire. She takes no prisoners when it comes to her being PR and white. She is proud of her heritage and proud that her mommy and daddy are "interspecial." She'd make the biggest racist feel intimidated.

My daughters look like their daddy. My youngest and I were at the MAC counter in Bloomingdale's on Saturday and the guy who helped us asked me if she was my sister.

Is it possible that maybe he thought you looked too young to be her mother? Now THAT would be COOL!!!! :)

For me, I have 2 beautiful bi racial daughters( black and white) and my oldest is 5 and she looks like she doesnt have a lick of white in her. My youngest daughter looks " mixed" and so when we are in public and she is playing with little kids they ask her " is that your mom" and when she says yes They start lookin CRAZY. Its not the kids, its the parents. Kids are just that KIDS but their morals, values, and beliefs come from their parents. We should all teach our kids that we are all human. My daughter has had alot of problems... I have even had the police called on me when I tried to pick her up from daycare, they swore that she was to dark to be biracial and refused to give me my child. THAT IS CLOSED MINDED!!!!

Is it possible that maybe he thought you looked too young to be her mother? Now THAT would be COOL!!!! :)

That could be true because people always assume my mother and my daughters and I are all sisters. I have a 14 year old and I am the youngest mother in her grade. All the mothers are in their 40's and 50's. You could be right!!!:D

I had a lady at visit ask me if my baby was my husbands......my child is no noubt full white...my husband is no doubt full black. Was it nessicary to even ask the question in the first place, but I answered honestly and said "yea thats her daddy" I mean the whole time shes callin him daddy, and hes saying "whatd daddy say" and still she felt like she needed to ask. maybe she was only curious, but damn, like it wasnt obvious that she isnt biologically his

My best friend married a "black girl" (I use quotes because I don't see black/white I see people). Their kids are so beautiful, I used to take their son around town with me to give them a break. People always asked is he yours. I just used to laugh and say it's my newphew. Where I live is still pretty racially divided and it really aggravates me that people who don't know you have the nerve to stay stick with your own.:angry:

I'm so glad I asked this question because I've gotten so much out of you guys' responses. It's helped me to better understand why you respond the way you do when people come out their mouth so ridiculously. I didn't understand that before starting the thread, which is why I started it -- to try and get a clearer picture on this subject. Nor could I believe that people could ask questions that are so off the wall. But having read yalls' replies, I now do and am really sorry that your and your childrens' ears gotta be subject to the ridiculousness when it comes to the obvious.

When I look at children what I see is innocence, what they're wearing and if they are in clean (coats, their hands, faces and noses, the cushion in strollers). All that other craziness that folks be seeing and saying -- all I can say is may God bless the fools in this world because they surely need some help.

One thing i agree with you hesohandsome. There are fools in this world, we all need to help educate them to help them better understand what we go through everyday. God Bless

You lnow what's funny. I get asked the question of if my son is his quite often. My son looks just like me & my daughter is her father's twin. Which goes to say, my children look NOTHING like each other. We are not in an IRR, and STILL get asked this question :D I don't find the question stupid. I just smile & tell the truth. He's not his, but she is :) And from watching the interactions btwn the 3, you'd never know if it weren't for their looks.

I agree, the question is posed out of simple curiousity. I used to take my friends daughter w/my son and I all the time. The children look so much alike that people assume they are siblings. People are people. If we want to know something we ask. 9 out of 10 times it's just simple curiosity. It's not meant to be rude or ignorant ;)

Stacy

I do get this question quite often! I don't take offense to it unless a smart comment is made. If someone justs asks if my children are mine then yes I answer politely.

My children are bi-racial (black & white). My daughter is dark and looks black and my son is getting darker but he has a caramel color. As for me, I hate the sun so I'm just as white as can be!!LOL! But I don't care what people think or so because I know my children are mine and are extremely beautiful. Once you look at my kids and then at me you can tell they are mine but just because their skin is darker than me means nothing!!

I have never got offened when somebody asked me if kids was mine or not. I dont have any children, but I do take my best friends two little boys with me alot. When they were smaller, I remember this little old woman walking up to my cart in wal-mart and just coo-ing and baby talking to them. Mind you, these two little boys have blonde hair and blue eyes, I have brown hair and hazel eyes.(same race) She was just smiling away and told me my sons where oh so adorable and asked me if they were twins, I just replied,"No they are a year apart from each other, and they arent my babies, but close enough." She just smiled and moved on. I dont think the race matters. If your with children, your always gonna be assumed the mother, or asked if they are yours. Its just the natural curiosity of the human race. I have never been upset with being asked that question, infact, I almost feel complimented because the children are so darn cute, so in a way they are callin me cute too.:D

And that's the point isn't it....the child is HIS!!! If you the daddy, he's your's. I was raised by my maternal grandfather, a man whom I adored and although he was clearly Afro American whereas I "pass" as white, no one would ever convince me that he was not my daddy. Your father, in my opinion, is the man who loved, nourished and cared for you. Any man can father a child but only a daddy can truly love and care for that child. I applaud your answer to their ignorance. Such questions are not only rude but are hurtful to the child and seriously under mine the child's sense of self.

dsagirl.........think about it....have you ever seen an ugly bi racial child. I may be a little biased on this point, but it has been my experience that bi racial children are, not only beautiful, but, in many ways, more intelligent, healthier and all around...., I hate the word "superior" because of the connotation, but I think you know what I mean. Interracial marriage merely brings new blood into the line and, in the end, I firmly believe strengthens the gene pool.......O.K. I know I'm gonna get hit over the head so do it already and get over with it....lol....I am of Afro American, North American Indian and caucasian heritage and am so proud of who and what my people(s) are and, more to the point, what each has contributed to what ultimately became me.

Dandee Boy.....your comment raises an interesting question:- "stick with your own." But, what exactly is "your own". Do you know that Hitler had a Jewish ancestor as does, by the way, the Queen of England (11th century). Does the Bible not say we come from one man and one woman. But, even if you don't believe that, didn't mankind start, in all probablity, in one area of the planet (unless you accept the Alien theory)? So what exactly is "your own"? People really do have to take a pill and stop all this nonsense about racial differences. Until someone can show me that the blood running through my veins is different than the blood running through any one else's, then, as far as I'm concerned, you are all my own kind. And thank God for that!!!!

Mr. Justice, I dont think I could have said it better. We are all apart of the human race, and once we start treating others as such color of people skin is going to be an issue. It is pretty sad.......

Well my daughter is blk white rican asain native american I talian. I dont care whether people think she mine or not iknwo she mine and as long as i am a good mother to her and be me. I dont care if soem oen asks me if she mine i wil lanswer them. But if they want to say soemthign smart about my child beign mixed I will be a lil upset but you know what thats there ignorance not mine.

I've never been asked if any of my children were not mine maybe i live in a society were its normal to have blended race and culture. But i wouldent take offence to it i'm proud of my children and who they are.

I have even had ppl ask me if she was mines while i was breastfeeding her at the dr office.. : Ok ok.. sometimes i get down right ignorant .. but those ppl i politely told them No i found her in the lobby and she looked hungry:p !!

ROFL!! What a *stupid* question!

My experience has nothing to do with race or skin tone, but when I was heavily pregnant with my second child an older relative of my then-partner asked his mom (in my hearing - I was sitting right next to her) whether this baby was his too. We weren't married but had lived together for the best part of a decade and this man knew that perfectly well. Because I lived with my man out of wedlock, though, my morals were obviously seriously flawed.:p

Only his mom sitting next to me stopped me from saying, "No -- I had an affair with the milkman."

Some people lead with their prejudices, some people are idiots, and some just don't think before they shove their foot in their mouth.

I get compliments a lot by people telling me your daughter is so cute, she looks just like you, people assume she is mine. But my Grandaugher (she is mixed, black and white and I am white) will pipe up and say "thats not my Mom, that's my Nana".

I have to say I never get tired of people assuming I am her Mom, I love that. Whenever that happens we just smile at each other.

aww i know you just love hearing not only that she is beautiful and of course that you were her mom :D thanks for sharing

I have to be honest - SOMEtimes it bothers me. It depends on the sincerity of the person asking the question. Most of the time when I have been asked that question, it has been as the OP suggested, a introductory question. But now we all know that sometimes the person (usually an older white woman in my experience) asks in a snide, "you-nasty" kind of way. And yes - that bothers me.

I have never posted here, but I thought that I would share my story of my very dark skinned Kiki mammas ... my BFF's youngest daughter. I would take her places with me, and carry her on my hip when she was small enough. now I am white as paste (well, damn near) and like I said she is dark ... and hell yes, I would tell them she is MINE.

and for added fun :: her dark mother would also try and pass off my sons as hers, too. she would call out after them in the mall, for instance, "son .... blah blah blah"

but, for some reason, no one really ever asked her, just me.

Wow, lots of responses.....hmmmmm. I am of mixed heritage myself, 1/2 white, 1/2 filipino, and dont ever remember hearing anyone ask either of my parents this question.
My children all favor me, and they have had people ask them if their daddy is their "real" daddy. I am dark skinned and he is very very blonde and blue eyed. I never took offense at this question, people are curious by nature.

I get the most annoyed when people ask me if my son is adopted. He looks just like me with a darker complexion. His Daddy is really dark skinned and I am really white.
I have never actually been out in public with my huband and my son at the same time though. He was locked up when my son was only 10 days old. I have gotten so used to peoples questions. Only five more months and we can walk around proud with our baby boy, no questions asked!

And for me, with all (6) adopted children and all different colors amongst us... Well, I've heard it all: Is your husband Asian? Black? Hispanic? and on and on. But the one I have to laugh at the most is: Are you their grandma? I'm an older mother.
They are ours! No difference than if they came out of my body! Can't wait for our first visit to see daddy.
Sincerely,
IGIT

I have the problem because my neice is albino. She really just looks really light to me with blonde hair and grey eyes. But they look at me, look at her, and all kinds of snickers and pointed fingers. I guess I get a taste of what yall go through.

I have been asked and like some of you, I don't mind. Though my kids look like me, and I wonder at times why they asked, I just decide it probably for the same reason's I would as. Usually if I ask are they your, I am looking for a possible play date with my kids. Rarely do I ask the question, because I am trying to complament them, if I have a complament I just say it. There have been a couple of times I asked, cause the kids were being bratty and the person looked unsure of what to do. This usually open's them up and they start talking. I have gotten a couple of less than nice resonse's when asking, so I do try and not. It's only a question. The way I look at it is, if they are asking for the wrong reason's that their problem, but it ain't going to hurt me to be polite.

When my babies were little I didn't get asked "the?" ,but often got the statement " Ohhh... you're babysitting kids are sooo cute !!!"
My ego was a lil fragile in my younger days and I would take offense,
"I'm not babysitting...these babies are mine !"
I can laugh it off now, but then it was a different story.
(At the time bi-racial couples was not too accepted where I lived, and I moved,but I was not about to let anyone else get credit for my babies...snicker..lol)

When my babies were little I didn't get asked "the?" ,but often got the statement " Ohhh... you're babysitting kids are sooo cute !!!"
My ego was a lil fragile in my younger days and I would take offense,
"I'm not babysitting...these babies are mine !"
I can laugh it off now, but then it was a different story.
(At the time bi-racial couples was not too accepted where I lived, and I moved,but I was not about to let anyone else get credit for my babies...snicker..lol)


Oh i know what you mean i have had ask me if i was my lil one nanny, and if the ppl i worked for allowed me to fuss at their children... At the time i was pissed but i still laughed off their ignorance .

I don't have a problem if someone asks me if the child is mine. I've been asked that question since I had my first child at the age of 14. He is currently 5 foot 11 and weighs about 180 lbs at 13 years old. He has the best afro ever and looks a lot older than he is. I on the other hand, have medium brown hair, blue eyes, very white skin, and am 5 foot 9, and 28. When they ask, I reply "He sure is! I was blessed by God!" and then walk on.

Oh i know what you mean i have had ask me if i was my lil one nanny, and if the ppl i worked for allowed me to fuss at their children... At the time i was pissed but i still laughed off their ignorance .

Geez...people's NERVE !!!

HeSoHandsome - Thankyou for the inspiring post & then the rest of the
subsequent posts.. TY for the interesting read.

I am white irish italian, and at the time this happened i had just moved
to a Navy Postgraduate School / Fort Ord community of Monterey Ca.
That was back in 2003 which is the time frame my story rooted in.

My daughters child is by a black man, and (her precious is named harmony)
and i love my grandbaby with every nook & cranny i possess. Just adorable
personality she lights up rooms trust me. Harmonys dark olive skin, and fondue locks of curly blonde hair are just stunning, ..stunning i say.

The first times out about town with harmony were more necessity than
pleasurable, trips to walmart for diapers ,bibs, babywip[es so on & so forth. These were always mid day trips which i took while my dau was in school, baby harmony would be with me from 7am -4pm. Only folks out at this time were cops and stay at home moms.

At the time i honestly took no notice of it as (understandably RIGHT!!?? LOL) every ounce of my attention was kept on baby Harmony, and NOT on passers-by. So anywho between trips to Dennis the Menace park, walmart Reservation road
Seaside high school and back home again it very much struck me i was in a town of very mixed race friendly women. I met three moms with mixed race children who all would never have been in my life had they not made a friendly detour over to my bench near the Dennis t Menace train & asked me if the baby was mine.

I am friends with all 3 to this day, all have working ,generous loving , law abiding black men at they're side and we enjoy Monterey Peninsula very much. Good schools, great weather, and fairly rascism -free.


.OH BtW HI Y'ALL I JUST JOINED PT, & hope to interact and include some helpful correspondance to anyone wishing it...as well as grow Tenfold my
knowlegde of california prisons & how us loved ones can engage it with
positiveness which is all of our goals i believe...right-??

Faye

i hope doesnt no one ask me that after our son is born next week. i'm white and my boyfriend(his daddy) is black. it won't be nice what comes out of my mouth or at least how i look at them if they do ask me that.

i have 2 half black babies and a half puerto rican they all came out white and now they have their color no one has asked me that because they all look like me just a different color its so different from how it used to be

[ why is it so much easier for you to regard that and the asker as ignorant, stupid, dumb and the like rather than as curiosity, politely responding with a "yes, he's/she's my child :)"?

[/quote]

I always give the asker the benefit of the doubt, and respond politely. "Yes, I'm his/her mother." If the person is ignorant, would a rude response from me remedy their ignorance? Not likely.

Once in a while, my patience is tested. Like when a theater cashier asked the above question, then said, "Really? Well, she looks NOTHING like you." I paused, and said, "If you saw her father and me standing together, I am sure you could see the resemblence."

Often, people seem to see only skin color. My daughter has my cheeks, chin, smile, and basic facial structure - but because her skin tone is a few shades darker, she looks "nothing like me."

Sometimes you just have to shake your head and walk away.

I'm glad this thread was posted... its something that I have thought about a lot. My boyfriend is black and I am white. My boyfriend has two children with another woman who is also white. When him and I would be out with his children so many white women look at the children and tell me how beautiful my children are. I didnt know what to say at first, yes they are beautiful children but I didnt feel comfortable claiming or letting someone think that another woman's children are mine. But it made me realize that I live in an area where mixed children are very accepted and common. I am happy to live in an area where things like this are easily accepted but I do realize that its not like this everywhere and someday when I have children of my own with my boyfriend I might have to deal with the things that you all are talking about. So, I'm glad to find out how you all have dealt with issues like this. Thanks!

okay get this PO has 4 kids (2 all black and 2 mixed) I have 3 of my own (2 black/white and 1 black/white/asian) so I always look like the foster mother of the year. I love all 7 of our children. I've had comments like you know those aren't hers and then others like this one must be yours etc. I have been accustomed to these comments and take advantage of every chance I get to introduce my children. (Will, Jasee, Dedric, Teka, Dominic, Xzavier, and LaDeja). I love PO and he loves me and these 7 children happily living in the same house together proves that. Each have "other parents" as well and it's a circus when we are all together for a function. All but one of PO's baby mama's are very active in our life..(she likes drama) and I have 2 ex husbands that are involved with thier kids.

okay get this PO has 4 kids (2 all black and 2 mixed) I have 3 of my own (2 black/white and 1 black/white/asian) so I always look like the foster mother of the year. I love all 7 of our children. I've had comments like you know those aren't hers and then others like this one must be yours etc. I have been accustomed to these comments and take advantage of every chance I get to introduce my children. (Will, Jasee, Dedric, Teka, Dominic, Xzavier, and LaDeja). I love PO and he loves me and these 7 children happily living in the same house together proves that. Each have "other parents" as well and it's a circus when we are all together for a function. All but one of PO's baby mama's are very active in our life..(she likes drama) and I have 2 ex husbands that are involved with thier kids.

My BF's family on his dad's side is quite the multicultural mix too. I'm "color blind" in that I see people - not race.

i love it and i think of it as "some people just are not used of seeing/being around such prettie beautiful and gorgeous babies and little girls etc
and some are just "nosey too ignorant like my man say etc"but i do not
get that,them types i get the NICER ONES ASKING NICELY about are they"your girls" lol and then they bring on heavy compliments as to how extremely beautiful my daughters botha re......

and maybe some are just asking this maybe they do not resemble"the typical child"they are maybe just not also USED of seeing as that is how i am thinking anyway.

my girls are mixed and GORGEOUS
since babies now 11,and my oldest is now a early teen...

are they your girls. and"is dad white"of your kids etc,look at their skin and eyes and hair color etc,etc etc.

and we STILL get all these crazy compliments and i love it,that do not bother me in the least.....:)

I don't have a problem if someone asks me if the child is mine. I've been asked that question since I had my first child at the age of 14. He is currently 5 foot 11 and weighs about 180 lbs at 13 years old.

He has the best afro ever and looks a lot older than he is.

I on the other hand, have medium brown hair, blue eyes, very white skin, and am 5 foot 9, and 28. When they ask,

I reply "He sure is! I was blessed by God!" and then walk on.
:D

i do the same thing smile and say gracias...
i say THANX ALOT and smile and just keep walking knowing they are ADMIRING my very
beautiful kids! and i look back at times and STILL THEY ARE LOOKING SMILING TALKING ETC.
lol but i do not meet too many fools ignorant,but MORE NICER ONES complimenting our beauty
their beauty being mixed kids! lol
if not i say to the ignorant snobby ones, i am blessed by the lord aren't i? lol
then i say come on nena chica's let's go and i just K.I.M.(keep it movin and go handle my business!)

lol