dolphina
03-17-2006, 01:07 AM
I got this in an email and it was too funny not to share
>WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...
> >
> > LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT
> >
> > MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE
> >
> > PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR
> >
> > ME. AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY
> >
> > BIRTHDAY."
> >
> >
> >
> > I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL
> >
> >REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN
> >
> >I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT
> >
> >DESPONDENT.
> >
>
> AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING,
> >
> > BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE
> >
> > HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON
> >
> >MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND
> >
> >IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."
> >
> > I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.
> >
> > LET'S GO!" WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD
> >
> >GO. WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD
> >
> >TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY
> >
> >ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A
>
>
> >BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"
> >
> >I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
> >
> >SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
> >
> >
> >
> >AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS,
> >
> >IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL
> >
> >BE RIGHT BACK."
> >
> >
> >
> >"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
> >
> >SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME
> >
> >OUT
> >
> >CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND
> >
> >DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
> >
> >
>
>
> >AND I JUST SAT THERE...
> >
> >ON THE COUCH...
> >
> >
> >
> >NAKED.
>WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...
> >
> > LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT
> >
> > MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE
> >
> > PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR
> >
> > ME. AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY
> >
> > BIRTHDAY."
> >
> >
> >
> > I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL
> >
> >REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN
> >
> >I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT
> >
> >DESPONDENT.
> >
>
> AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING,
> >
> > BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE
> >
> > HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON
> >
> >MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND
> >
> >IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."
> >
> > I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.
> >
> > LET'S GO!" WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD
> >
> >GO. WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD
> >
> >TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY
> >
> >ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A
>
>
> >BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"
> >
> >I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
> >
> >SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
> >
> >
> >
> >AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS,
> >
> >IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL
> >
> >BE RIGHT BACK."
> >
> >
> >
> >"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
> >
> >SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME
> >
> >OUT
> >
> >CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND
> >
> >DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
> >
> >
>
>
> >AND I JUST SAT THERE...
> >
> >ON THE COUCH...
> >
> >
> >
> >NAKED.