View Full Version : Does It Ever Hit You Suddenly, That This Is His Life?


Atalie
03-15-2006, 10:10 AM
I was thinking about my brother one day, and it just struck me, he is in prison. I knew of course he was in prison, but I guess it just hits home sometimes. It brought tears to my eyes and I am so use to this my reaction took me by surprise. I am not even sure what brought the thought to my mind, but it filled me with sadness and grief to realize this is his life, and probably will be for the rest of his life. I was just wondering if anyone else has had this experience?

Kbsles
03-15-2006, 10:41 AM
OMG, Atalie, yes, yes, yes. I have had that thought so many times, and like you it brings me to tears everytime. Kenny has been in so long, and I knew when he first went in, but I was so young, and so was he of course that I think I just blocked it from my mind. Of course since we have been back together the reality of it has hit me square in the face and it breaks my heart. Especially when I go see him and see how controlled the situation is, that he has to be ever aware of who's looking our way. How cautious he is when he speaks to me on the phone, especially when we are discussing anything of a sensitive nature, you can hear the guarded tone in his voice.

The whole situation makes me heartsick. I want nothing more than this nightmare to be over for both of us, but especially for him. But the reality is that it may never ever happen for us. This is his life, so we try to take the little good we can get from it and hold on to the hope that there may be a someday in store for us.

God bless you Atalie, your brother is fortunate to have someone with as huge a heart as you.

Atalie
03-15-2006, 10:51 AM
Ikendrick, It is so hard to realize this is it for him. I do have hope thanks to PTO that maybe he could get paroled, I never thought it could be possible before, but that is what PTO does, gives us hope!
Thank you for your kind words, but you know I consider him to be a blessing to me.

chickletone
03-15-2006, 10:57 AM
Wow did you hit that head on!!! It's so easy for me to kind of live in a fantasy world because my partner and I are really close friends,plus he's 2yrs younger than my son.So most of the things in life that I'd normally go through with my son I go through with him! I don't ever forget where my son is,but sometimes it hits real hard that he's there for probably the rest of my life! And its like who is gonna be there for him if or when something happens to me?? He has no one else.Believe me when I say those days are the hardest for me to get out of bed!! Yet I know I have to so I can take care of him!! Sometimes its the only thing that keeps me going. Then theres the days that I have an absoulutely great day with My friend and his daughters and then !.I feel guilty for having such a good time 2. These are the things I should be sharing with my boy,and never will.Its living on a roller-coaster.

4ever2gether
03-15-2006, 11:13 AM
The fact hits me nearly every single day :( He's been in for 11 years so far (this time) with who knows how many more to go. I am ever so thankful he will someday be able to come home . . . my heart truly goes out to those who really do not know if this is going to happen for their loved one.

The more I think of various situations, the more I feel heartache knowing that a split second decision may have landed someone behind bars for life. Mistakes are made . . . but the fact is, people can and do change. There are cases I feel in which a person should not be given a life sentence and after serving a just amount of time, they really should be given a chance at freedom.

I don't understand, nor will I ever, how one person who may have committed murder is able to be free after serving a sentence of maybe 7 years, while another with similar circumstances is sentenced to life.

This is their lives. I wish they were given at least a bit more dignity. We are all human and everyone deserves to be treated as such.

MurphyGirl
03-15-2006, 12:33 PM
Atalie, not only is it his life, but it is my life as well and it is our daughters life....and it is for the rest of our lives. Chances are, My daughter will spend her entire life never remembering seeing her Dad out in the sunshine, nor will she ever spend a day with him in the park....that is what hits home to me the most.

Ann

RachelisJims
03-15-2006, 12:50 PM
Hi all, boy this sure hits close to home. This is my first time waiting for someone locked up. Even though hes been in for five months on the 18th, I sill feel like hes going to walk through the door any sec. Then I think, wait he's locked up but sometimes for no reason my eyes tear up and I can't focus on anything. We had an appartment before he left, every night on my way home from work, I would think that maybe he will be sitting on the couch watching tv when I walked through the door. It's a lonely feeling to walk into an empty house so I got the heck out of there. I still think about him all the time, and I get lumps in my throat. Dang men anyways. I feel like i'm in a daze world but with faith I know we will get through this. :) :) :) :)

MurphyGirl
03-15-2006, 12:54 PM
Hi all, boy this sure hits close to home. This is my first time waiting for someone locked up. Even though hes been in for five months on the 18th, I sill feel like hes going to walk through the door any sec. Then I think, wait he's locked up but sometimes for no reason my eyes tear up and I can't focus on anything. We had an appartment before he left, every night on my way home from work, I would think that maybe he will be sitting on the couch watching tv when I walked through the door. It's a lonely feeling to walk into an empty house so I got the heck out of there. I still think about him all the time, and I get lumps in my throat. Dang men anyways. I feel like i'm in a daze world but with faith I know we will get through this. :) :) :) :)

Just know that we are here to help you get thru this too......No one should have to go this alone....

hugs,
Ann

lilmoma_143
03-15-2006, 12:58 PM
OH YES! I believe we all get so used to how we now live our lives....(phone calls, letters, visits,no sex, etc) that we forget dang he is in prison and I wish our lives were normal. It's like all of sudden everything changes I know when my man was out I didn't want a phone call everyday...HE KNEW HE BETTER BE AT MY HOUSE EVERYDAY!!!! Its like it is all different and we just get so used to it..and then its like gosh, he is prison!!!! ITs like at times we just think they are away of a trip..ya know!!!! We just realize this is how it is(letters, call, visits) and just forget WHY AND WHERE they really are. I think alot of us do this and then when we sit down and take the time to actaully think about it, it makes us DEPRESSED!!! Maybe thats why we don't think about it!!*

PattiD1157
03-17-2006, 11:57 AM
I think about it quite often. I think what really makes me sad is that he was arrested when he was 17 years old, just a couple weeks shy of his 18th birthday. He was formally charged once he reached 18. The changes in the world just within the last 12 years. The fact that he has accepted the fact that he will never have children had to be hard for him. "WE" have my kids and grand babys but that has to be different for him.
I think about him being all alone and I feel guilty if I don't write him on one day. Knowing his mom doesn't write and I don't think his grandpa writes that often. He doesn't hear from his sister at all. It's like he doesn't exist for most of his family and that breaks my heart. I have cried many many tears wishing the phone would ring and he would be telling me he is coming home. I know that is many many years down the road. Who is to say that I will even be alive when that day comes. I don't want to leave this world without being able to hold him one time and tell him how much I love him. We met while he was incarcerated so I haven't even had that "first hug". Ok I have to stop now....Our life is shared as best that DOC will let us share it. Through letters and phone calls. No visits since he has been moved so far away. One day this shall pass.

robs_angel
03-17-2006, 11:25 PM
YES! OMG, just this past week I was driving home and started to ball and cry...... cried the rest of the way home, and held his pic and thought our first chance of a "normal" life is 2013 at best thats nearly 2518 days give or take alittle! Look at the lil ones and think they will be teenagers when he can come home.

But above all this I am thankful at least we have a "chance at a normal life" When such strong women such as Penwife {{HUGS}} wont get that chance, she is a leader I trully look up to! Thanks Penwife!! So I am thankful that at least someday whenever that is Rob will be home...........

RachelisJims
03-18-2006, 10:36 AM
I give a special thanx to everyone in this forum. I'm still getting use to Jim being in prison, and it's even harder right now since he got put in the hole. But with the support of you people and my Faith in God, it's getting a little easier not to be so depressed about it. I really appreciate everyone in here.

neworleans85
07-27-2006, 04:12 PM
i know how you feel, how some times the reality of the situation just hits you. that happens to me at all these odd moments. like today at lunch i was sitting outside eating and i thought about how i wish john was here, then i thought about all these things like how bad his food is, how he doesn't have the liberty to go outside whenever he chooses, how he can't enjoy the things i can because of where he's at. it felt like someone punched me in the stomach. sometimes i'll be doing something and just out of the blue it hits me again, yes, this is his life, but at least in our case, it's just until 2016. we're all gonna make it though. despite the obstacles, keep your heads up ladies!

SHESHE33
08-01-2006, 01:41 PM
My Husband Doesn't Have A Violent Crime But I Was Just Reading This Post And It Also Too Stroke Me That Omg My Husband Is In Prison Every Time This Happens To Me I Sob Like A Baby I Wonder When Will I Ever Stop Felling This Way. Sometimes It Hits Me At The Oddest Moment Like When It Time For Bed I Say To Myself Where Is This Man At He Should Have Been Home An Hour Ago Then There It Is (maybe When He Is Home) I'm Not For Sure He Doesn't Have That Much Time Left But The Thought Of Him Being In There Really Upsets Me And I Hope And Pray That He Never Goes Back.

rwconner
08-01-2006, 08:08 PM
For me and my husband I met my baby in the prison system so I knew he was already there, but sometime I do get this feeling of missing his cause I love him so much, but my husband come's up for parole in 2007 and I know that there is a change that he will still be there and don't get it, but we put I trust in God and not man. So if he doesn't get it I won't let him feel bad cause he can't come home to me, cause I will always be there for him. rwconner

Maggie12
08-02-2006, 01:44 AM
First of all, i just want to say that all of you are sooo strong, and i admire your courage and dedication to your loved ones.

I think about this daily, as im writing my man letters each day about how work was, what happened to me at the grocery store, who called me and what we talked about, and my plans for the rest of the week. I think that he doesnt have that liberty. his routine is decided for him, and right now hes locked down 23 hours a day in a cell thats 90 degrees. I have been in jail, 5 days in a row was the longest i did, and let me tell you i was ready to flip out being locked up like that. When i think of how our loved ones deal with it day in and day out for years at a time, some knowing that is the only life they will have, it makes my heart hurt.

Somedays i get down on life because my love is gone for the next 2 1/2 years. Seeing what some of you are going through, and knowing if things had been a little different, the shooting taken place one second before or after it did, my man could be in there for life too. I will keep you all in my prayers and hope that those who are eligible for parole will b given mercy by the DOC and given that second chance that ALL people deserve.

Valentine4ever
08-02-2006, 06:30 AM
Yes, It Is A Very Hard Pill To Swollow.......and Still Hasnt Gone Down My Throat Yet!!!!!!!!

angellove77
08-02-2006, 01:16 PM
I just got a letter from my friend and that is what he told me. " I think this is all a bad dream and I am going to wake up any day " That is very sad! I get so sad at times because he has a 60 yr sentence and he has done 10. He is so young 29, and it just breaks my heart for his life to be wasted for a mistake he made!

JohnsHeart
08-10-2006, 10:29 AM
some days are very hard. I have sat at visitation with John and heard the horrible things that he has seen and experienced while growing up in prison, it amazes me that he is as strong mentally as he is because I dont think I would have been able to get back up after some of these things.

patriotslover76
08-10-2006, 11:02 AM
It does hit me some days harder than others. I was in Target the other day and saw this happy couple joking around and made me miss him so much. It also made me wonder if we will ever be like that.

Texasfem
09-11-2006, 04:43 AM
Somedays it hits me so hard that I feel as if I want to lose all hope. this is not what I wanted for him or his future as a parent and I have a hard time dealing with the pain and all that has taken place. I took my 16yr old to a concert and watched all the young men his age living life and laughing, dancing to the music and it hit me so hard I just wanted to cry because my son had the chance to live a great life instead he sits in a cell block with nowhere to go. I look forward to the day when he gets to laugh and dance to music again.

babygirl350
12-09-2006, 04:23 PM
It doesn't really hit me suddenly about my husband, rather it stays with me in the back of my mind constantly. How does a young man, who is intelligent, well liked, coming from a good solid and loved family end up in prison at such a young age. How does this happen?

It is a discussion we have many times, I guess because I am not satisfied with the answers I get.

It brings tears to my eyes to think that he went in prison so young and has missed out on so much and still inside.

He is not a bad person and I just feel sad sometimes for what all he has had to go through and what this has done to his family and his siblings.

I can only pray that one day when he is able to come home that he can prove himself to everyone that he is capable of being a law abiding citizen and put all of this behind him.

busters gurl
06-28-2007, 08:11 PM
i know exactly how ur feeling! my man went twelve years ago i was very young and had our first baby. he was twenty and i was 16. at times i'm okay but it's hard cuz we have to do everything as a family around the prison which isn't easy as you know. we do have weekend visits cuz he's in new york and they have conjugal visits which helps. he gets to see all five of our kids but pretty much watches them grow up in pictures. i try to focus on the positive but at times it's hard and i just cry. if you ever wanna chat or unload feel free to im me i''ll listen!!

MurphyGirl
07-01-2007, 03:10 PM
if you ever wanna chat or unload feel free to im me i''ll listen!!

Hey girl, come join us in the Freedom Cafe thread in this forum...we chat alot in there and just have fun and be silly...it's a nice break from talking about prison life all the time!!


ann

His_shortie
07-01-2007, 03:46 PM
Wow...ok Bella is gonna tear up. This is something that always hits home for me. I met this man that is now my life in 2004 as a pen pal and of course I accepted the time he was gonna have to do. I am 26 and I have 3 children from a previous marriage and I take in heavy consideration that he will not be able to play around with my kids(other than on a visit), take them to the park, help with home work(other than maybe by phone) for quite some time if at all and sometimes its hard for me to swallow.

I don't agree either as a previous lady said about how someone with "murder" can get out in lets say 7 years. Tommy got murder and he has "18 to life" and it used to frustrate me why they couldn't just give him an x amount of years instead of that tail sentence. Fine make it 20-30 years or LIFE but don't toy with us on something that is gonna be held in front of us in hopes that maybe just maybe it will be within reach and ours to grab...only to find that it was NEVER ours to begin with. To me an "18 to life" sentence is just that.....its very unsure and not guranteed.


I get sad alot ALOT because I have known from day one what potentional he has and hes soooo young. He's 28...this is gonna be his life for quite some time and at least til 2022. Tommy has dealt with so much and in saying that we BOTH have dealt with all the insecurities and the tricks that play on his mind stemming from how long he's so far been in there and all the negativity that comes with being in prison.

On a previous visit he said something that actually bothered me a lil. We kinda had an argument and he said "Bella, I've got life in here blah blah" and I just sat there for a minute and even tho we BOTH know this I guess it just shocked me cause Im used to hearing all the "positive" like Imma get out one day and we are gonna beat this etc etc and well I guess I was seeing/hearing the fact that deep down he knows the hard core blunt truth that he may never get out if they wanna play hardball with him. I could never understand fully how it feels to have to admit to yerself "man i may never make it out of here" cause I think however no matter how hopeful you make yerself be or how positive you train yerself to be either...that somewhere in the back of yer mind its only natural to know that there might not be a chance....even if its a small chance. That has got to be in back of the mind somewhere....doesn't it?

I can be watching movies and I can just out of no where think about him. Hey that should be us....wait I gotta remember that he's in prison:( I guess somewhere in that movie I forgot or maybe that is what Im wishin to much for.....but yes it hits me and it can be over lil things.

I have rode with this man for 3 years and we have weathered millions of storms and I have accepted that this is the way my life has to be for right now. I don't want it this way but I have no other choice if I want him in my life so I roll with the punches and take each day at a time.

We have both made a pact that we are in this til the casket drops whether it be he's in there or out. We love each other and our love will out see any obstacle and or life sentence.....bet yer sweet butt on that :)

Bella

BigDaddy72
07-02-2007, 02:17 PM
Yeah it hits me too. Sometimes the thought of the time that she could be in there just blows me away. She's 8 yrs in on a 25 to life, her first parole hearing is 2023.

I try to keep positive as much as I can, and motivate her, and do everything I can, but some days I just sit down and go, oh my God! I just can't believe it.

Times like when I'll go out and have a few drinks with friends, and I'll see couples slow dancing together, and what I wouldn't give to be out there with her. Or like Sunday I was visiting her, and we both got a little sleepy eyed after lunch, and I leaned over and said, why can't they let us go take a nap together! Just being able to lay down and wrap my arms around her and drift off to dream would be the highlight of my year! But things like that are what inevitably lead to thoughts of I can't believe she's going to be stuck there for so long, and this is our life for now.

It's hard to do, but I wouldn't change being with her for anything, we'll have our day, someday.

OsHoney
07-06-2007, 05:26 PM
Wow...ok Bella is gonna tear up. This is something that always hits home for me. I met this man that is now my life in 2004 as a pen pal and of course I accepted the time he was gonna have to do. I am 26 and I have 3 children from a previous marriage and I take in heavy consideration that he will not be able to play around with my kids(other than on a visit), take them to the park, help with home work(other than maybe by phone) for quite some time if at all and sometimes its hard for me to swallow.

I don't agree either as a previous lady said about how someone with "murder" can get out in lets say 7 years. Tommy got murder and he has "18 to life" and it used to frustrate me why they couldn't just give him an x amount of years instead of that tail sentence. Fine make it 20-30 years or LIFE but don't toy with us on something that is gonna be held in front of us in hopes that maybe just maybe it will be within reach and ours to grab...only to find that it was NEVER ours to begin with. To me an "18 to life" sentence is just that.....its very unsure and not guranteed.


I get sad alot ALOT because I have known from day one what potentional he has and hes soooo young. He's 28...this is gonna be his life for quite some time and at least til 2022. Tommy has dealt with so much and in saying that we BOTH have dealt with all the insecurities and the tricks that play on his mind stemming from how long he's so far been in there and all the negativity that comes with being in prison.

On a previous visit he said something that actually bothered me a lil. We kinda had an argument and he said "Bella, I've got life in here blah blah" and I just sat there for a minute and even tho we BOTH know this I guess it just shocked me cause Im used to hearing all the "positive" like Imma get out one day and we are gonna beat this etc etc and well I guess I was seeing/hearing the fact that deep down he knows the hard core blunt truth that he may never get out if they wanna play hardball with him. I could never understand fully how it feels to have to admit to yerself "man i may never make it out of here" cause I think however no matter how hopeful you make yerself be or how positive you train yerself to be either...that somewhere in the back of yer mind its only natural to know that there might not be a chance....even if its a small chance. That has got to be in back of the mind somewhere....doesn't it?

I can be watching movies and I can just out of no where think about him. Hey that should be us....wait I gotta remember that he's in prison:( I guess somewhere in that movie I forgot or maybe that is what Im wishin to much for.....but yes it hits me and it can be over lil things.

I have rode with this man for 3 years and we have weathered millions of storms and I have accepted that this is the way my life has to be for right now. I don't want it this way but I have no other choice if I want him in my life so I roll with the punches and take each day at a time.

We have both made a pact that we are in this til the casket drops whether it be he's in there or out. We love each other and our love will out see any obstacle and or life sentence.....bet yer sweet butt on that :)

Bella

Bella, I loved what you said, this rings so true for us, too.

ashleynichole
10-05-2007, 09:15 PM
I had my first experience with this the other night... I mean, I knew he was incarcerated, but out of nowhere it hit me so hard that I cried 'til I was almost sick. It just hurts me to think that he is there and to know that he is scared. It kills me to know that there is only so much I can do to help him. Finding out his sentence today has made this better in some ways, but it's driving it home in others, since he got a longer sentence than we were hoping for. 2017 seems like such a long time, although I know that alot of your loved ones have even longer than that to wait. And actually, once again as I was editing this post, it hit me. His little brother called me to talk about Luis' sentencing and make sure I was handling the news alright. He also broke the news that there could be more time added on to his sentence for another offense. Hopefully they'll let him serve it concurrently. I am new to all of this and it's seeming overwhelming.

hvnsSassyAngel
10-20-2007, 06:11 AM
Yes very much so, prison is a deep deep scar to live with. The only thing is that I look at things a little differently in life now. My man went to physical prison & I myself have come through some pretty hard things in my life but I will still have heartache & pain for the rest of my life. I endured several immediate family deaths in my 20's which shook me to the core of my being & threw me into walking in the valley of the shadow of death myself because I just didn't care anymore. I chose to try to do away with myself using drugs (my prison). I tried to o.d. & I did o.d. but I kept surviving. Now with most all of that in my past I see something different about life. I see that no matter what trials my man & I have to go through in our lives the main purpose to us is discovering how to make life better from where ever you came from even if its rock bottom.

With regard to my man being in prison, yes it hurts, yes I miss him terrible, yes I worry about him in there even though I know that he is fully capable of taking care of himself but I also know that had neither of us gone down the roads we've been down, neither of us would be who we are today. Are we going to wallow in the mire (so to speak) Hell no ! We are positively going to work our ways out of our pasts. We do not ever have to live the rest of our lives as products of our pasts, not if we don't choose to. My man's been in a physical prison off & on for about alittle over a decade now, & I've been in a different kind of prison in my life atleast that amount of time. Both of us are winding down now & we still have half (at best) of our lives to finish together doing things better. So even though we were going through & have been through probably the roughest hardest parts of our lives (he's still got a few years to go in prison) we will make it through & come out better in the long run.

Most all of us make it through our storms, but while we're in the middle of them sometimes we don't even know what we're going through we just feel pain & misery & hopelessness. I'm starting to see the other side now. I feel that everything my man & I have gone through has not only made us stronger & more helpful to others but now that we've known real pain, real misery, real hopelessness, only now can we find & live real joy & real happiness & real purpose................some folks don't have to go the roads we've gone but they are none the better they are just here in life for other purposes than ours.

It's hard to go through the storms in life, there's no doubt about that & it hurts but always after the storm there is the sunshine or the stars coming out. Watch for them for they will appear for you as well.

Peace

ashleynichole
11-15-2007, 12:01 AM
I know I already posted in here, but I had to post again. Since I hadn't heard from Luis for a few weeks, I knew something was up. And his old celly had written to tell me that they moved him. So I looked him up on KDOC and when I read those words... "Earliest Possible Release Date: December 25, 2015" I almost threw up. Just because SEEING those words written down officially was such a shock. After stopping to catch my breath and think about it, I realized that it's actually LESS time than he was anticipating. But man, it sure looks overwhelming.

1roughblondie
02-18-2008, 01:04 AM
Yeah ......I think that from time to time but try to also think that everything happens for a reason.... even if we dont completly understand why

His_shortie
02-21-2008, 11:34 AM
Its been 4 yrs for us and not only does it hit me that this is HIS life I have to stop and say damn this is how its gonna be for me as well. I still do that.

18 to life sentence is no joke.....


Bella

mcasillas
03-08-2008, 01:35 AM
My dad has been serving his LWOP since I was very young. It is so wierd I never really thought about it till about 4 years back . I had always just dealt with it & thought that was just the way things were meant to be. I realized what a life sentence really meant when my husband was facing the same fate. Needless to say I faced the fact that my dad would never be released and every feeling that I held inside for many years came to the surface. I call it my nervous breakdown time (LOL) . At that time I not only relized what Me & my sister missed out on growing up without my dad. I also relized what my mother had to go thru & is still going thru to this day. During this time I visited him for the first time , we had always kept in touch thru letters & phone calls over the years but I had never actually went to see him. I quess I really never thought it was something that he needed or that I needed being so young when he left it was just the way things were. I am in Ca & he is in Iowa. I have 4 children they know where thier grandpa is they have always known , they write to him and talk to him when he calls. It was really wierd I quess I was in denial for years , I was never really told he had gotten LWOP. I didn't find out his sentence untill I started looking at his case. Needless to say I have dealt with the fact he has a life sentence & hope to visit him again later this year.

cutsman
03-12-2008, 12:51 PM
It hits me every single day. Some days I get tears, I hate North Dakota. I watch all these shows on how people who chop others up and throw them in the river only get like 15 years. My best friend got 27 for being in a stand off with police. He was high on meth, he needed treatment not prison. He just got out of ad seg after being in their for over 2 years, I get to see him in person soon and its been almost 3. I am very nervous but I know that will go away once we hug.

GHOTI
03-12-2008, 07:00 PM
I don't recognize many of your names because I imagine you hang here like I tend to mainly hang at LASO. So you probably don't know me. But what you are talking about hits me often too.

Long story short, I spend some time in the prison wing of the state nut house for violence related charges. Not something I would recommend, but it was beneficial, and helped change my life. Anyhoo... I came to have a great deal of feelings for many of the patients there. Guys that have no hope of ever being normal, let alone ever getting out.

I still keep in touch with some of the staff there, and periodically I stop in to see them and a few special patients. Mental patients tend not to live as long as the rest of us. Not even as long as prisoners. So every few years, I either get a letter that one more has died or I find out on one of my visits. It brings home to me just how very limited their short existences were.

No jobs to help kill the time. No library. No sports. No weight pile. No yard to go walking on. Just a boring daily routine that changes very little over the decades. Food, medication, showers, and sleep. I seldom leave there without a fog of tears hampering my driving for at least 30 or 40 miles.

How fortunate I feel right this very minute experiencing all the control I have over my own life and surroundings. They never will. :(

cat805
03-13-2008, 12:02 AM
Yes.........it is something I live with inside me whether at the back of my mind or right in my face...The right in my face, is hard. At this moment my son is in GP for the first time, ever. So, I feel a little less tense knowing he can go to school and has more freedom than the years in Ad Seg.....those years were brutal and I feel for anyone doing time like that as it's the closest thing to the SHU. The images of his reality in those places will always haunt me. I will always keep the families and inmates in my prayers....~Cat

Jillian
03-31-2008, 05:29 PM
Yes.........it is something I live with inside me whether at the back of my mind or right in my face...The right in my face, is hard. At this moment my son is in GP for the first time, ever. So, I feel a little less tense knowing he can go to school and has more freedom than the years in Ad Seg.....those years were brutal and I feel for anyone doing time like that as it's the closest thing to the SHU. The images of his reality in those places will always haunt me. I will always keep the families and inmates in my prayers....~Cat


(((HUGS)))i am glad that your son is in GP and that he is able to do so much more. He is lucky to have a parent like you who help him get thru being in AD SEG

cat805
03-31-2008, 10:23 PM
Thanks so much E-wifey..........that means a lot to me......it's been a long road for all us......hope you and your's are hanging in there.......Take Care

brokenhearted26
07-01-2008, 10:22 PM
Hello, I just wanted to say that this really hit home for me. Most of the time during the day I can sorta block out the fact that my baby sister may never be out of prison because of a violent crime she committed. Then at night it hits me hard and I cant sleep. I think about how the life of a 22 year old woman pretty much ended the same day that she ended someone elses life. She will not get to see her son who is three-maybe not until he is old enough to go see her if he wants to. She will never get married...she will never buy her first house...go to college or have a real job...she will prob be in prison when the rest of my family grows old and dies and she may even die in prison. It just really saddens me and I miss her so much...