I've heard many women in the Hus/Fianc/BF forum say they want to have babies immediately after the man comes home.

Have you and your man made plans for having a baby immediately after release, or would you prefer to wait a period of time first? And if you choose to wait, for about how long you figure.

Also, if he wants to have one right away yet you want to wait a period of time first, which would take precedence -- what he wants or what you want?

Have you and your man made plans for having a baby immediately after release, or would you prefer to wait a period of time first? And if you choose to wait, for about how long you figure.

Also, if he wants to have one right away yet you want to wait a period of time first, which would take precedence -- what he wants or what you want?

We haven't made any "plans" one way or another, we've kinda talked a little on future plans including kids, I already have two which are increasingly getting attached to him. I would be ok with having another one with him, he has some time left so I'm not sure if we will be able too but it's a possiblity. I'm all for letting it happen naturally. If he really wanted to have one right away I would be ok with that given his circumstances over the years not being able to have one of his own.

We talked about having children. We both want maybe 2 babies together. He first suggested that we can try while he is still incarcerated (family visits). I explained to him that there is no way that I can afford that financially and emotionally. I want him to be here when I am preganant. So we agree we will wait.

We are going to wait around 1 year after he gets out. This way he'll be situated and have a job. Plus he needs to take care of himself before we should consider bringing in a child to this world. I have 2 little ones of my own and he has a teenager.

It's weird I had my first child less than one month after my 16th birthday. While I was ill prepared to do that I was so fortunate to have loving parents that guided me through the process (RIP mama and daddy). I am now the proud mother of 3 grown children ages 27, 22, and 19 and proud "nana" to my heart, my 10 year old grandson and his soon to be born babysister (yes I'll be nana 2nd time around come May of this year). I'm 43 and Sebastian is 28, he has two sons ages 10 and 12.

I love my man so much and would dearly love to have a child with him (my mother was just a couple of years younger than I am now when she had me, I am separated 10 years by the youngest of my older siblings), however we have so many other obstacles to face that I fear bringing a child into the world at this time would not be in anyone's best interest. If I could turn back time (but know what I know now) AND be more financially stable that would be a different story.

Patty

I already have to babies 6 & 8 with my husband and shop is closed...I just can't wait for him to come home so we can continue to raise them together. Once they are old enough we are going to travel alot, we've done a bit of traveling but we would like to travel a lot more.

Well I'm young, 21, and when he gets out, I'll be 27, so still young, he's not that much older than me. We're going to wait until we try to get pregnant, and this is something that we've talked about. He needs to settle down, get readjusted, and have a job before we bring another person into this world. We both want to be READY and I mean really READY. I know one day one of is going to come home and decide that we should try to have a baby, and if we're both ready, we'll start then.

If we disagreed on the issue, we would just talk about it for a long while. We need to be ready, and be able to bring the baby into a world where it's welcomed and loved and it will never go without. We would discuss our dreams and the reality of the situation. I know after awhile, we could come to an agreement.

well while i wouldn't rush having another child when he comes home, if it happens it happens. however my lil one is 3 weeks old lol...so i don't want to have another one until she's at least going on 4...which would probably be a year or so after he's released (hopefully).

Well I was pragnant when he went in and our lil mans will be 10 years old in July. I think I've waited tooooo long already. I wanted to wait til he came home but NOT I'll be 40 and I can't see that happening. So if all goes as planned be Me of course hopefully I'll be pragnant some time by next year.. Wish Me Luck Ladies.
Much love ,
Nenaz

We definitely intend to get pregnant right away if we make it that far. He may be released in 2008. I should be financially able by then. I have a 13 month old son. I'm dying for another baby. Kari has been locked up since he was young and has no children. We've already decided on names. This is one of the things I look forward to most! BTW, I'll just be 22 when he's released.

Yeah, we've talked about babies lots of times. How many, prefer boys or girls etc. He wants a big family & I'm not getting any younger so we probably would try right away. He'll be 29 & I will be nearly 30 when he gets out. Given our situation (deportation) he worries what I will do. Guess he thinks I'll keep him from his kids like his ex keeps him from his daughter. No amount of reassuring has fixed that yet. :(
Haven't set any plans on when we will try. Whatever happens, happens. At least that is how it is left right now.

SOMETIMES HE'LL TALK ABOUT IT, I REALLY DONT WANT MORE KIDS, BUT WHEN HE WAS IN COUNTY ITS ALL EVER TALKED ABOUT SO WHEN HE WAS ON BAIL WE DID TRY FOR ABOUT A MONTH TO TWO MONTHS BUT I DIDNT GET PREGNATE AND WE WERE DOING IT ALL THE TIME ALL DAY 3XS A DAY LOL, BUT IT DIDNT HAPPEN :( BUT I FEEL ITS BETTER THAT WAY CUZ WE ARE NOT IN STABLE CONDITION TO BRING MORE CHILDREN IN TO THIS WORLD, MAYBE WHEN WE ARE WE WILL TRY AGAIN

We've talked about it and he said he wasn't sure then at a later time I asked him if he was leaning more towards yes or no and he asked why. I said because I need to know how hard it will be to convince you and he said not hard at all. I really want another child but am not totally sure yet. I have two girls 8 & 4 and he has one girl 8. He said he will go with whatever I decide. I don't know yet but I do know that it definitely won't be right after he gets out. He needs to be stable first and have a job and maybe after he gets off of parole. Also I want to have time to spend as a couple and have fun together just the two of us before we bring a baby into the mix. As it is his daughter lives with her mom and my kids go with their dad every other week so we can still have alone time.

Raven and I have talked about it. We both want children together. Since I will be 43 when he comes home we decided to let the Great Spirit handle it. If we become pregnant then we will be very happy. If not we are not going to take any extraordinary measures. So when ever it happens we will be very grateful.

We were trying before he went in and wasn't successful, since he's having to hold back for a while I think It will happen immediately. I am planning on immediately anyway, I'm been wanting and am ready to have kids. I want to have 4 kids. (I would love to have twins or even triplets.) He wants it immediately too, but not the twins part, he thinks I am crazy when I talk about having twins.

We have talked about children, we both want a child together, we already named them...but he wants then right away and I think that it would be better if we wait a while until he gets used to being out here, find a job, get settled. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on him. I think that he will have a lot to deal with trying to find work and adjusting to the time difference, being gone for almost 10 years is a bit much. So I think that we should wait a year and then try to have a baby.

Yeah we are going to have some babied when he gets home, but not rigjt away. At least a year. I need him to get re-integrated with society and get a JOB. Then we can seriously talk about it

We have eight kids between us, so there will not be more babies. I know he would like to have a daughter, but it isn't possible to "book" the gender of a baby. And also, after five child births I have done enough to populate this world. I really don't want more children. I want to raise the children I have, and when they are grown, I will still be fairly young and I hope we can travel the world and do things for ourselves. I have been clear about not wanting more kids from the start, and he understands where I'm coming from, so it's all good. :)

My husband (long before he was my husband) asked me if I would have his baby. I told him no and if that was what he was looking for then he needed to drive on. He understood and the subject was never brought up again. So i guess what I wanted took precedent.

I THINK WHEN OUR LOVED ONES GET LOCKED UP, AND HAVE NO CHILDREN OR WANT A FEW MORE, THEY SAY AS SOON AS THEY GET HOME THEY WANT TO TRY TO HAVE ONE. BUT I THINK THEY SAY THIS CAUSE THEY REALIZE HOW SHORT LIFE TRULY IS. AND THEY WANT TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE CHILDREN BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THEM. MY MAN AND I HAVE A 2 YR OLD AND WE SAID AS SOON AS HE GETS HOME WE WERE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE. BUT NOW WE JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH OUR DAUGHTER AND WAIT A LITTLE AWHILE.....BUT NOT TOO LONG!!!!*

If he has his way, i will be falling pregnant right away!! Me, on the other hand, wants to wait until we have lived together for a bit and have shared some 'freeworld experiences' together. By the tme he comes home i will still only be 33 years old... still have time on my side somewhat! :) In the end, i guess i will just let be whatever be.

We have mentioned babies before, and we both want more children, I have a 2 year old daughter and he has a 10 year old son. He has a job waiting for him for when he gets out, so I'm pretty sure that we will be trying right away, he's 32 and I'm 24. I don't want my daughter to be too old for when I have another one, and we are both just so excited about a baby. Let me clarify that we both love babies and I would probably have another one already if I hadn't met him, and he's been wanting one for a while too. So if we make it that far (hopefully) we will try A.S.A.P

Rebeca

My daughter (not his) is 7, and I've always said that I didn't want anymore kids, mostly because I didn't want to end up raising another child alone. But he is amazing with her, even if she isn't his. Every letter, every phone calls asks about how his "other Babygirl". I mean, he calls and talks to her more than her own father. He has a son that he is in the process of being DNA tested for(chances are about 50/50, but no matter what, always says that he wants another one. Being with him has changed my mind because he's made me realize that I can't make decisions just because I'm scared of what might happen. We've decided to wait a while after he comes home next year so we can get our life right before we bring another child into it.

my husband and I both have baby fever...BAD. But we are going to wait a while. We may get FRP's later this year if he gets sent to a facility that has one, and we will be extra careful, because he does not want me pregnant while he is still locked up. He wants to be with me every step of the way. He will be released between 16-22 months. Even after that too we will wait a while because we still are in our selfish stage and want to have our time alone together for a while.

Reading you ladies' responses was very interesting! It really got me to thinking. I still have terrible baby fever (so bad that I wonder if Im pregnant every month and Im not even having sex!). However I am a single mother right now and I support my son in every way. I refuse to do so next time around. Therefore I will conquer my baby fever and let Bakari get situated to a totally new life style since hes been locked up since he was 15! He has alot of catching up to do and I dont want that pressure on him. Plus we'll have to adjust to each other! What if we ave some weirdo habits and freak each other out?

LOL hey if it happens it happens though. I'm not a fan of preventive measures. Its a wonder I only have 1 child now! I guess thats because Im 20 and havent really gotten started! Okay Ill shut up not because something is wrong with my apostrophe key and its annoying the heck out of me.

I want us to wait awhile, that way we can have time to spend with each other. Neither one of us have kids, but I do have 4 neices and 2 nephews, so I think they can keep us busy till we are ready for our own.

LADYMUSICSOUL3,

I thought I was the only one like that!! I got baby fever too!! I'm just like you...every month..although not doing anything...that baby fever is something isn't it??


To everyone else, we have talked about it for months now. Every few phone calls, he'll ask me "What happens if when I get out, we are doing the hibby-hibby, and you get pregnant?" I'm like "I'll deal with it". He'll ask me can I have still have kids now and if I'll be able to when he gets out. I let him know that the women in my family (both sides) have kids well into their late 40's...even though I'll only be 38 at his latest possible release date.

I want a large family, I have 3 now (all boys). I want at least 5 more. I'm an only child, so I've always wanted to have a large family. He wants kids and always says that he wishes he had one while he was out. My youngest is 2 years old and he is so thrilled with him, talks to him on the phone. Wanting to meet him (will happen early April). He's got such a deep love for kids, that I know as soon as he gets out...somebody is getting pregnant by him!! :-)

Having babies is an on-going discussion with us. He wants more kids and I dont. I have one who is fifteen and will be 18 when my Hunny comes home and he has two who will be 18 and 13 by the time he is released. I really don't want to start all over again at 40+ but we always end our discussions with whatever the Lord's Will is that is what will be done. God please be on my side with this one! :)

We can't wait to have babies!!

we would both like to start a family he won't be home until 2020 so we will probably start our family while he is in but we would like to be married and have our first few years of trailer visits to ourselves to spend time as husband and wife before we are mommy and daddy.

we have talked about it over these long 4 1/2 years with him being in prison. we aren't going to try right away but if it happens it is okay with both of us. we just want to enjoy each other.

Jesse and I have talked about babies on a few different occasions, even tho everyone who knows that seems to think we're completely nuts.... We have 8 kids between us (he has 4 and so do I). He comes from a big family that is close, which is why he wants a big family himself. I am an only child (I have half siblings that I don't know) and my family is not close and I crave that. So we both want another child, maybe more, but not until he's out for a while and has time to re-adjust. We want to spend time together and he wants us to spend time with each other's children before we bring any new little people in to the picture. He loves his kids very much tho, and he loves mine as well. He asks about them always and the older 2 send him pictures and things as well. Plus, I have twins (fraternal), which run HEAVILY in my family. After having them, my chances of having another set is increased, as are my chances of having more than 2, so....that's something we have had to talk about, which freaks me out a little, but he seems to be okay with, so.... But I think all in all it doesn't really matter what anyone else wants or expects from us, when it comes down to it, it's all about you and your significant other and what you want and what you are both happy with. Good luck to everyone!!!