Sabine
06-01-2002, 11:22 AM
UNCENSORED FROM TEXAS DEATH ROW 20
By Paul Colella
May 16 - 25, 2002
May 16
The maintenance people have been in here working on the electricity all day. They said they cannot fix anything until the welding crew comes in to put new boxes in or something, but at least the process has started.
We watched as they took Tracker (Ronford Styron) out at 12:35 to go to Walls Unit. Another man I know quite well gone to face the reaper. Will he too return? Another toss of the dice, another gamble with the courts. Damn, this isn't easy. Even though we aren't close it still affects me. I didn't even know they killed Peanut (Reginald Reeves) until my mom wrote and told me there were only six people at the vigil outside The Walls the night these bastards murdered him. 6 people! That is pitiful. I thought there was a group that attended every execution vigil. I guess I was misled and that upsets me. I won't mention any names yet. 6 people (frown).
May 17
I finally got my fan. Sgt. Poole went and got it out of the property room. At first Mrs. Howell (property officer) told them I had already got my fan. So if I had left it up to her, I'd have never got it. I received another reply from the office of the inspector general about when Peirce hurt my groin and choked me.
SEE BELOW
You see how vague this is. "Corrective action has been taken", of course they say this since Peirce has already been transferred to population. Total bullcrap!
The maintenance crew didn't get the electricity fixed, only installed some new plugs in some of the cells. But the power still isn't on (frown). I woke up 3 or 4 times sweating.
NEWSFLASH
For any of you who have trouble buying money orders for your loved ones in TDCJ General Population and Death Row, you can send cash, American currency to the inmate trust fund. You still have to put a deposit slip with it. I would recommend sending it registered mail for safety. Not the kind they have to sign for because that would be to much work and trouble for them and they would stop accepting cash. Remember money orders are the safest way, but for those of you who can't find a place to buy them, cash is accepted by the inmate trust fund.
May 19
3:30 a.m. - Breakfast time, for several months now we been trying to show these people that the food is cold or inadequate, well this morning I heard Rick say when he got his tray "This shit is ice cold." They got to me and I called Sgt. Hinote to my cell and said "Check that tray. I want hot food." Instead of checking the tray he went to the food cart like all of them do, "Oh, it's 140 degrees." "Well, something is wrong, this shit is cold." So he takes my tray, put it in the food cart directly on top of the heating element. 10 minutes later he goes to get it - nothing has changed. The tray is still cold and it was right on top of the element. So he finally seen the truth. Apparently the thermometer does not work, nor does the heating element. So hopefully it gets fixed.
I'd like to say Hello to Mike C. Mike is a man full of a lot of hate towards me and my situation for some reason. I don't know this man but I genuinely feel sorry for him. An email I received from him the first time wasn't very bad. The gist of it was "you done what you did, now deal with it." The second one talked of beating my ass and resorted to calling me names. "Stop whining," he said. I sent Mike a personal email and sincerely tried to open his eyes to this situation and my personal situation. Maybe he will look at all I had asked him to and reply. I'm not mad at Mike nor should anyone else be because it's people like Mike who are ignorant to the "behind the scenes goings on", of the justice system/penal system that we must reach if we are to truly bring about any positive change to the justice/penal systems. So Mike, know that I am not mad or upset with you. Hell you didn't even ruffle my feathers, but I sincerely hope with all of my heart that I can reach you somehow and show you how wrong you are, let you see things you have no idea about that go on and as I said look around you Mike, look around at all you hold dear and think hard about what I said in my email.
May 20
Changes!! Yahooooo!! The powers that be namely Major Lester and our new Lt. Reece. All 5 of us on F Section were moved to E Section. Instead of fixing the electricity they just moved us but now we have electricity.
E Section:
57 Big Rob
58 Hank
59 ____
60 Chitown
61 Charles Mines
62 Bobby Hopkins
63 ____
64 Danny Guever
65 Soulja
66 Rick
67 T
68 Birdman
69 Paul
70 Victor
Not really a bad section, but Soulja isn't happy at all about being moved. He is trying to get put on food loaf, says he is hungry.
May 21
Maintenance came in early today and went to work on F Section. So we have heard they may move us back over there when they get done. I'll let you know.
Soulja went to shower and jacked the run (sat down on the run). Lt. Price came, said what's the problem. Soulja says "I want to be on food loaf." Price says "Ok! Your on it." Soulja got up and walked to his cell. He finally got a hot food loaf about 1:00 pm. Says it was worth the wait. What a crazy world we live in.
4:00 pm - Major Lester just called me down to his office. He wanted me to know that "our" improved behavior is being noticed and that I was denied a classification today, but would get Level II next month with continued good behavior. What I still don't understand is, if it's being recognized then, why not go ahead and let me make it today? It would show recognition in a much better way than simply saying so. And he would be justified because reviews are every 30 days anyway. So why not? Anyway, with my continued "good" behavior I'll be on Level II June 21. Whoopie!!
EJ made his Level I today. I know he was happy about that!
May 22
Well another day is almost over. We think, but not sure though, that we will be staying here on E Section. I'm not mad about it, even though this cell was the nastiest, dirtiest cell I've ever moved into. It cleaned up well and is a pretty good cell.
I'd like to say again there have been no changes made towards conditions here on Death Row, none that mean anything. The food improved for a few weeks and went right back down hill. The laundry still torn up and sometimes damp and smelly. I have to say officers attitudes have changed a bit, more towards disdain than outright hostility. Seems more ½ decent guards have been working back here.
The new lieutenant is a clean freak, he has had the porters cleaning top to bottom which is cool for us because we have to live here. Our dayroom is still full of gas from Soulja and T's last run ins over here.
May 23
Well those carrying "sympathetic" lovely ladies in the mail room have struck again. The Lamp of Hope sent everyone some homemade post cards with poems on them by David Goff who was executed. Well the ladies in the mail room denied all but 3 because now here is the kicker: The reason they denied them is because there were pictures on the cards. The unit and inmates and guards. The reason they denied them "letter contains plans for activities which are in violation of institutional policy". WHAT? Read it again. "Plans for activities" - where do they get that from? To top it off in clear violation of FEDERAL LAW. They hold onto them for 9 days before they passed them out and then didn't let us sign the original copy of the denial. They made photo copies of the denial forms and had us sign them. Again a clear violation of their own policy.
May 24
Well there sure isn't a lot going on, is there? A new person came to Level III, Michael Rosales (AKA Rascal). I had met him when he first got here, just a kid, really.
I was young when I got to Death Row (23), but these guys are coming in 18, 19, 20 and seem like kids. I look at them and see life at an end. It's sad, really, because this place is really nothing more than a mausoleum housing dead men, not at all living just simply existing. That's why it's so hard to see how important the little things truly are. It's the little things that keep reminding me that I am alive and there is hope for life. I don't and we don't have to simply exist. We can live and grow if that's truly what we want to do. Then one has love, the external comforter. With love/in love all things are possible. Love heals old wounds. It feeds the spirits and gives hope where one has nothing left.
I know now that Viktor Frankl meant when he wrote in his book: "Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire." I understand how a man who has nothing left in this world may still know bliss, be it only for a brief moment. In the contemplation of his beloved." Do you remember the phrase "The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory" - Love! - That what they contemplate. It feeds, it shelters, it soothes. Will these kids who are entering death row and prisons ever know love? Will they ever find that one special person who will make them complete? I truly hope that they do, because if they don't, for them the whole meaning of life will slip away. How sad this would be.
In struggle and solidarity
Paul Colella
# 999045
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, Texas 77351
USA
paul@deathrow.at
http://www.deathrow.at/paul
By Paul Colella
May 16 - 25, 2002
May 16
The maintenance people have been in here working on the electricity all day. They said they cannot fix anything until the welding crew comes in to put new boxes in or something, but at least the process has started.
We watched as they took Tracker (Ronford Styron) out at 12:35 to go to Walls Unit. Another man I know quite well gone to face the reaper. Will he too return? Another toss of the dice, another gamble with the courts. Damn, this isn't easy. Even though we aren't close it still affects me. I didn't even know they killed Peanut (Reginald Reeves) until my mom wrote and told me there were only six people at the vigil outside The Walls the night these bastards murdered him. 6 people! That is pitiful. I thought there was a group that attended every execution vigil. I guess I was misled and that upsets me. I won't mention any names yet. 6 people (frown).
May 17
I finally got my fan. Sgt. Poole went and got it out of the property room. At first Mrs. Howell (property officer) told them I had already got my fan. So if I had left it up to her, I'd have never got it. I received another reply from the office of the inspector general about when Peirce hurt my groin and choked me.
SEE BELOW
You see how vague this is. "Corrective action has been taken", of course they say this since Peirce has already been transferred to population. Total bullcrap!
The maintenance crew didn't get the electricity fixed, only installed some new plugs in some of the cells. But the power still isn't on (frown). I woke up 3 or 4 times sweating.
NEWSFLASH
For any of you who have trouble buying money orders for your loved ones in TDCJ General Population and Death Row, you can send cash, American currency to the inmate trust fund. You still have to put a deposit slip with it. I would recommend sending it registered mail for safety. Not the kind they have to sign for because that would be to much work and trouble for them and they would stop accepting cash. Remember money orders are the safest way, but for those of you who can't find a place to buy them, cash is accepted by the inmate trust fund.
May 19
3:30 a.m. - Breakfast time, for several months now we been trying to show these people that the food is cold or inadequate, well this morning I heard Rick say when he got his tray "This shit is ice cold." They got to me and I called Sgt. Hinote to my cell and said "Check that tray. I want hot food." Instead of checking the tray he went to the food cart like all of them do, "Oh, it's 140 degrees." "Well, something is wrong, this shit is cold." So he takes my tray, put it in the food cart directly on top of the heating element. 10 minutes later he goes to get it - nothing has changed. The tray is still cold and it was right on top of the element. So he finally seen the truth. Apparently the thermometer does not work, nor does the heating element. So hopefully it gets fixed.
I'd like to say Hello to Mike C. Mike is a man full of a lot of hate towards me and my situation for some reason. I don't know this man but I genuinely feel sorry for him. An email I received from him the first time wasn't very bad. The gist of it was "you done what you did, now deal with it." The second one talked of beating my ass and resorted to calling me names. "Stop whining," he said. I sent Mike a personal email and sincerely tried to open his eyes to this situation and my personal situation. Maybe he will look at all I had asked him to and reply. I'm not mad at Mike nor should anyone else be because it's people like Mike who are ignorant to the "behind the scenes goings on", of the justice system/penal system that we must reach if we are to truly bring about any positive change to the justice/penal systems. So Mike, know that I am not mad or upset with you. Hell you didn't even ruffle my feathers, but I sincerely hope with all of my heart that I can reach you somehow and show you how wrong you are, let you see things you have no idea about that go on and as I said look around you Mike, look around at all you hold dear and think hard about what I said in my email.
May 20
Changes!! Yahooooo!! The powers that be namely Major Lester and our new Lt. Reece. All 5 of us on F Section were moved to E Section. Instead of fixing the electricity they just moved us but now we have electricity.
E Section:
57 Big Rob
58 Hank
59 ____
60 Chitown
61 Charles Mines
62 Bobby Hopkins
63 ____
64 Danny Guever
65 Soulja
66 Rick
67 T
68 Birdman
69 Paul
70 Victor
Not really a bad section, but Soulja isn't happy at all about being moved. He is trying to get put on food loaf, says he is hungry.
May 21
Maintenance came in early today and went to work on F Section. So we have heard they may move us back over there when they get done. I'll let you know.
Soulja went to shower and jacked the run (sat down on the run). Lt. Price came, said what's the problem. Soulja says "I want to be on food loaf." Price says "Ok! Your on it." Soulja got up and walked to his cell. He finally got a hot food loaf about 1:00 pm. Says it was worth the wait. What a crazy world we live in.
4:00 pm - Major Lester just called me down to his office. He wanted me to know that "our" improved behavior is being noticed and that I was denied a classification today, but would get Level II next month with continued good behavior. What I still don't understand is, if it's being recognized then, why not go ahead and let me make it today? It would show recognition in a much better way than simply saying so. And he would be justified because reviews are every 30 days anyway. So why not? Anyway, with my continued "good" behavior I'll be on Level II June 21. Whoopie!!
EJ made his Level I today. I know he was happy about that!
May 22
Well another day is almost over. We think, but not sure though, that we will be staying here on E Section. I'm not mad about it, even though this cell was the nastiest, dirtiest cell I've ever moved into. It cleaned up well and is a pretty good cell.
I'd like to say again there have been no changes made towards conditions here on Death Row, none that mean anything. The food improved for a few weeks and went right back down hill. The laundry still torn up and sometimes damp and smelly. I have to say officers attitudes have changed a bit, more towards disdain than outright hostility. Seems more ½ decent guards have been working back here.
The new lieutenant is a clean freak, he has had the porters cleaning top to bottom which is cool for us because we have to live here. Our dayroom is still full of gas from Soulja and T's last run ins over here.
May 23
Well those carrying "sympathetic" lovely ladies in the mail room have struck again. The Lamp of Hope sent everyone some homemade post cards with poems on them by David Goff who was executed. Well the ladies in the mail room denied all but 3 because now here is the kicker: The reason they denied them is because there were pictures on the cards. The unit and inmates and guards. The reason they denied them "letter contains plans for activities which are in violation of institutional policy". WHAT? Read it again. "Plans for activities" - where do they get that from? To top it off in clear violation of FEDERAL LAW. They hold onto them for 9 days before they passed them out and then didn't let us sign the original copy of the denial. They made photo copies of the denial forms and had us sign them. Again a clear violation of their own policy.
May 24
Well there sure isn't a lot going on, is there? A new person came to Level III, Michael Rosales (AKA Rascal). I had met him when he first got here, just a kid, really.
I was young when I got to Death Row (23), but these guys are coming in 18, 19, 20 and seem like kids. I look at them and see life at an end. It's sad, really, because this place is really nothing more than a mausoleum housing dead men, not at all living just simply existing. That's why it's so hard to see how important the little things truly are. It's the little things that keep reminding me that I am alive and there is hope for life. I don't and we don't have to simply exist. We can live and grow if that's truly what we want to do. Then one has love, the external comforter. With love/in love all things are possible. Love heals old wounds. It feeds the spirits and gives hope where one has nothing left.
I know now that Viktor Frankl meant when he wrote in his book: "Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire." I understand how a man who has nothing left in this world may still know bliss, be it only for a brief moment. In the contemplation of his beloved." Do you remember the phrase "The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory" - Love! - That what they contemplate. It feeds, it shelters, it soothes. Will these kids who are entering death row and prisons ever know love? Will they ever find that one special person who will make them complete? I truly hope that they do, because if they don't, for them the whole meaning of life will slip away. How sad this would be.
In struggle and solidarity
Paul Colella
# 999045
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, Texas 77351
USA
paul@deathrow.at
http://www.deathrow.at/paul