View Full Version : Parole Conditions - No Contact with Me?


JulieLD
03-04-2006, 10:48 AM
A year ago I had to have my husband arrested for DV. He wasn't convicted of it as he was found with drugs and under the influence... We've spent the last year trying to rebuild our marriage and he's paroling to a residential treatment facility to continuing his programming (he's done a year inside sofar). We've been "told" by the prison's parole person that the parole agent will most likely make no contact with me until he's completed a 26 or 52 week anger management class a condition of his parole. Which I think is crazy cause we want to get marriage counseling started and have me participate in classes with him at his treatment facility, plus another year waiting?? Has anyone experienced this and fought it - sucessfully or not? Since our marriage is a private issue between us, it doesn't seem right that the government could override our decisions and impose their own - sounds like a foreign country! Any input/advice would be welcomed! Thanks!

nimuay
03-04-2006, 07:36 PM
Julie - it's possible that the PO will require the no contact. But for your counseling, let me tell you - anger management and marriage counseling will not work for domestic abusers, In fact, there is every chance that it will make things worse for you (because you will share freely all your feelings, etc. and they will be used later against you, not to mention that a marriage counselor will try to find a middle ground, but there is none between an abuser and a victim). You should try to find an abuse specialist, because that's the only person who will know how slippery abusers are. Be safe - do it the right way, and there's a minor chance that you can make your marriage work. Check out some of the threads in the domestic violence forum for more info. Good luck!

Let me add that the provisions are there because SOOOOO many of these domestic violence incidents repeat - and cops hate to get called to domestic disputes over and over. So the state has taken over trying to require treatment to minimize the recurrences. It's not private once you get hurt, or once you call for help and get the public servants involved.

denverswife
04-07-2006, 05:00 PM
Yep, law enforcement assumes that you aren't capable of making a good decision regarding your own safety where he is concerned. Personally, I would contact his parole agent myself. I'm betting that you can get a "monitored environment" waiver, where you can only be with him at counselling sessions. At least at first. If that gets shot down, ask if it would be possible to do that after he completes an anger management or domestic abuse class. And make sure he gets a domestic abuse class, not just anger management, before he comes home. It's a different issue and needs to be treated differently. Good luck. I think an addict/abuser has a better chance than most of permanent change, if he/she gets chemical free and stays that way.

BLuft
05-22-2006, 12:06 AM
Hey Julie, I'm currently going thru the same type thing but we are married...I had the Protective Order terminated just so I can visit but I just recently talked to the PO and he said, nope, no contact at all...so yes, the state will override even a marriage..even when he is doing 18 months to get clean...which was the problem for us too....HOWEVER, the only thing we have found out is...that anger management class he has to do...he can double it and have it done in 6 months...and then it is up to the PO if he is ready to come home afer it is completed...have him take every type of class he can....anything that is to help him with anger, substance, relationships...it all looks good to the PO, who makes the final decision...

good luck...I am in denial right now that my husband isn't allowed near me.

nimuay
05-22-2006, 04:44 AM
BLuft - you have my best wishes, but you need to deal with the possiblilty that your real denial is about how repetitive abuse is and how resistant to treatment.
Peace.

BLuft
05-22-2006, 09:52 AM
Ya, because of this theory my husband can't come home. This is a smart theory for someone who is an abuser, just to be an abuser....like the OJ case, which is why the law changed this way......but when a person gets angry when under a substance and the substance is now gone from their life....this is different....I'm also a Christian (and not just since this situation) and believe in forgiveness. The system is secular....I am willing to give my husband another chance as a sober person.....but that is it....I'm not one of those women who is visiting him every weekend and believes everything they hear. I've set my boundaries and this whole experience has opened my eyes..besides, there is so much you do not know of my situation. I only posted a message to let Julie know that her boyfriend can double up on classes.....but thanks for showing concern..even if you don't know the facts.

stevenswife
06-21-2006, 01:18 AM
ok i absolutly disagree with the parole being able to say that a married couple cant save their marraige that is 100% wrong, i am going through that damn 52 week crap, my husband is fighting the case right now with the parole board, my husband is innocent, they threw the case out in court even, but parole says they only need reasonable couse by 50% thats bullshit in my book they judge us like every case is the same, and were individuals, as an american citizen i feel like they do not have the right to break up a family this really pisses me off, i will do what ever it takes to fight this ill get my own lawyer, protest,pickett,whatever!!!! im going to his trial to testify for him in 2 weeks hopefully they see how good he was doing cuz he was doing the best ive ever seen church, work, no drinking, no drugs, no old friends nothing! just me and the kids... his frame of mind is 100% different and im so proud of him.. i think parole has way to much power, and i feel affended that they assume im to stupid to make a wise decision....shit ill go to the president if i have to lol....

kaalilsis
07-05-2006, 05:19 PM
I am going through the same deal with my Brother right now he did his time came home and did his 52 week class AND STILL NO CONTACT WITH ME OR MY HUSBAND THIS IS KILLING US!!!

jmscott92126
08-27-2006, 11:50 PM
My fiancÚ did a parole violation last year (8 months with half); the charge was for aiding and abetting me. I was in volition of my probation at that time and was absconding after missing a court date. I was in the process of turning myself in and she was helping me do so. While at her house the police showed up looking for me and both she and I were arrested. I got out in October to go to a program and she got released in January. We moved in together in April and this was with full approval or her then parole officer. He was told I was on probation and he was given my full and complete name. We signed a 6 month lease together and her parole officer had nothing but good things to say about her adjustment on parole.

All was fine until about a month ago when her PO decided to transfer her case to a Parole office closer to our new home. While reviewing her file, her new parole officer noticed my name in relation to the last violation and put in a new special condition - "No contact with me". She was summoned into the office and given the news that she was to move immediately and to have no further contact with me. At this point we are devastated, we are in love, she may be pregnant and we want to get married. We do not know what to do. We have grown so much in the past few months that we have been living together and might I note that we have been living together with the approval of parole. We've signed a lease together; we share accounts and credit cards as well as cars and pets. We have even set a wedding date. At this point we are prepared to do anything, anything at all to get this lifted. If a legal option exists or if there is another avenue for disputing this or challenging the special condition, I would like to know. We are prepared to hire an attorney and handle this through a legal process if that is what will work.

Can anyone please help us? Does anyone have suggestions or comments?

PLEASE HELP US. Thank you.

fedup43
08-30-2006, 04:41 PM
I am in a similar situtation as you. I was convicted of penal code section 664/273.5(a) "Corpoural injury to spouse". My PO has implimented a no contact order as a special condition of parole even though my wife never requested it or wants it. Besides, the court has never issued a stay away or no contact order. So what my PO is doing is illegal and I'm currently in the process of filing an appeal with CDC. Anyway in your case there is hope. First off there is case law that states it's unconstitutional for the parole or probation departments to place a no contact order (i.e., as a special condition of parole) preventing a felon to associate with other ex-felons (keep in mind that the courts apply conditions of probation to parole), see People vs Garcia (1993) 19 Cal. App. 4th 97, 101 &102(also 23 Cal Rptr 2nd 340). In this case the court found it was unconstituational. You may have to do some research at the Law Library in the city where you live. You can also try and challenge the no contact order on grounds that it had nothing to do with her commitment offense. If your in the state of Cal look at the Department of Operations Manuel (for parole), you can do a google search. There is a section in the manual that states for a special condition to be imposed it be related to the crime for which a person was sent to prison for. Also you may try and attack the no contact order as violating both your and her 14th Amendment rights. There are a few other ways to approach this also, if this doesn't help let me know and I'll try and help you further, But the most important thing is if your in the state of California a parolee only has 15 days to appeal a decision or action imposed by the parole authority. Good luck and don't give up.

fedup43
08-30-2006, 05:02 PM
I'm currently going through the same thing. I was convicted of domestic violence against my wife and I'm currently on parole fighting the parole imposed no contact order. First off the parole authority does not have a right to get away with this. The CDC does what they want. Legally they a can not keep a married couple apart. The only law that permits this found in the penal code and only the court can issue stay away orders, ex parte orders, or no contact orders. The parole authority can not take it upon themselves, there first must be a state law mandating a placement. Your civil and constitutional rights are being violated. I'm currently doing a lot of legal research and fighting my no contact order and will try and keep you posted as it progresses. Also keep in mind that parolees also retain certain civil and constitutional rights, the 14th being one of them "The right to liberty and happiness". Your marriage can and will work, just hang in there. Be aware of people that try and tell you if it happened once it will happen again. Counseling will help. If your interested I can give you further detail as to how I'm fighting my case and will include case law that will help you. But I must advise you you may have to file a Writ of Habeas Corpus with a CA court before the parole authority will lift the no contact order. The is hope and I'm here to help. It's time we step up and fight the CDC SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!! They can't continue to do what they want to whom they want.

C-Murder's Wife
01-22-2007, 11:01 AM
I was reading some of your threads in regards to married couples and past domestic violence. Here's my situation. I have been married for about a year and my husband is approching his release date and has plans to parole to my home. The problem that I am concerned with is previously before he went to jail for his current jail sentence he was arrested for domestic violence and was sentence to 6months and was required to attend anger management classes. The problem is that the scheduled date he was to report to court to show proof he was enrolled he went to jail on a new charge and missed his court date and never attended the classes. Do you think this will effect him being able to parole to my house? Since the DV involved me.

JLS
01-22-2007, 11:59 AM
Several years ago, before I retired from CDCR, I had an inmate on my caseload that was given a ' no contact' condition of parole. I was surprised at this because of the inmates circumstances. He was given probation for the domestic violence case and remained at home with his wife for over three years before he violated his probation and was sent to prison. The probation violation was not domestic violence. I am good friends with the individual that was the Parole Regional Administrator, and decided to give him a call to find out why the condition was placed and how it could be removed.
The Parole Administrator quoted a California Penal Code section that allowed CDCR Paroles to set conditions of parole and said the section allowed the no contact condition, and in their opinion required the no contact provision.
The inmate was a successful businessman and his wifes family had substantial money. They sued the CDCR Paroles to have the no contact order removed. They were not successful, Over the years the ex-inmate has kept in touch by sending me Christmas cards. He has remained out of trouble, and he and his wife are doing well.

Just thought you might find this interesting.

MRS LIL FRAZ
01-22-2007, 12:13 PM
YES!!! My sister is in this right now. It sucks! He went in on DV. They wanted to be together so bad they made a dummy move and ran out of state. Got caught ( DUHHH ) and now it starts again. He gets out in 40 days and they want to be together. The classes he took while he was down ( DV and AM ) he was givin no certificates for them so he has to take them again and pay pay pay! All this crap makes it stupid hard for families to get back into the swing of things. My fiancee is down for a DV on someone else. God I hope they don't try to put all that junk on us. I don't think they can but since they are under the impression they are GOD who knows. Good luck to all.

Shaun's Mom
01-22-2007, 09:58 PM
Reading these posts, I didn't realized that this condition of parole could be enforced so strongly. Especially for married people. We're from Ca and my son reutrned to his girlfriend, the DV victim. The PO visited our home and met with both. Said they don't think it's a good idea to reunite, but the PO would monitor his bahavior. They're not married, but have a 2 ssmall kids. He has since been arrested again for drug charges and his girlfriend has spoken to his PO and said they will live together when he gets out this time also. The PO told her that he hopes all goes well with both of them this time after his release. My son has had 3 different POs and all knew they were living together. It seemed to be not a big issue as long as they were getting along. He did have attend the weekly anger management classes.

c's baby
01-23-2007, 12:47 PM
This is something you don't hear about that offen. I know it can happen.

My ex beat the crap out of me in November 2006. The county gave me a protective order on him not to be within one mile of me. His PO also put another 3 year condition on him, not to have any contact with me, not even through a 3rd party.

I hope those of you that have been victims of DV that all works out for you, I really do. But, this guy has always been a woman beater, I was just the first one to turn him in!

He was arrested as a felony. Now the DA dropped it to a misdomeanor. He probably won't get time for it. He might just have to do classes. When he was in a few years ago he took the Anger Management classes, it didn't help him.
He is doing a 10 month violation w/ 1/2 time. He had been out for 100 hours. I will not back down on him. I want to have nothing to do with him . . . he didn't have to hit me, drag me by my hair two times into the living room, backhand me in the eye and threaten to pour hot coffee on me if I didn't stay quiet. I had to have 6 inches of my hair cut off, I know it will grow back, but that is not the point. Again, I hope you ladies have better luck than I did.


Several years ago, before I retired from CDCR, I had an inmate on my caseload that was given a ' no contact' condition of parole. I was surprised at this because of the inmates circumstances. He was given probation for the domestic violence case and remained at home with his wife for over three years before he violated his probation and was sent to prison. The probation violation was not domestic violence. I am good friends with the individual that was the Parole Regional Administrator, and decided to give him a call to find out why the condition was placed and how it could be removed.
The Parole Administrator quoted a California Penal Code section that allowed CDCR Paroles to set conditions of parole and said the section allowed the no contact condition, and in their opinion required the no contact provision.
The inmate was a successful businessman and his wifes family had substantial money. They sued the CDCR Paroles to have the no contact order removed. They were not successful, Over the years the ex-inmate has kept in touch by sending me Christmas cards. He has remained out of trouble, and he and his wife are doing well.

Just thought you might find this interesting.

BeyondExCon
02-03-2007, 05:19 PM
All of these DV situations that I am seeing on this thread are appealable situations especially if you are in the state of CA. If you need a CDC form 602 please send me a PM so that I can send that to you in PDF format as well as the filing instructions.

Until next time...take care

betos gurl
01-07-2008, 12:13 PM
I'm going through the same thing. Parole issued a no contact order against my fiancee and I'm trying to figure out what I can do to change it. He will be in prison until possibly April or May and CA only allows them to do one DV class per week and will not allow contact until he has completed 52 classes, which they say he cannot do until he is released. We have an 11 month old son and I cannot imagine him not having his Dad for over a year! They were VERY close. My fiancee begged for an alcohol program instead of prison where he could get help instead of prison but they offered it and then took it back and gave the prison time with no contact order instead. If anyone knows/finds out how to fight the no contact order, PLEASE let me know! I've started calling the PO but so far, he's not answering or returning my calls, which is typical. THanks!

Just_Me29
11-10-2008, 09:18 PM
Ok. I found out today from headquarters that you can file an appeal with your parolees headquarters division about no contact orders. My husband had one put on his parole. The messed up thing about it is that he was not convicted of DV! The cop tried to say at first that maybe there was or there was (whatever), but she had NO PROOF when she tried to say at first that she did. She ended up testifying that there was no DV going on and that she took him becuz I signed a paper of arrest, which I should have read. She told me that it was a paper that would make it so that he cannot be in the house that night (he was ANNOYING me), but that he would be back in the morning. Anyways, I also found out that if that appeal does not work out, then you can appeal that decision above the first appeal. Another messed up thing about this situation is that the parole board did not give him his rev hearing within 10 days. Also, they appointed him some BS attorney that would not even bring his evidence he asked for to his rev hearing. The rev hearing officer told my hubby had he had the evidence (transcripts from county court) that he would have let him go. When it came time for the actual hearing, the commissioner would not examine his evidence (the transcripts). She was a hater from the get go. She was rude to me and everything and I was very polite and humble. She had the nerve to tell my hubby that he is better off with out me, because I called the cops to our home (which honestly was a mistake of mine). I have never dated a parolee and I did not realize the seriousness of it all. If it was an extreme emergency then I should have called. I was just super annoyed and agitated with him (plus I was going through post-pardum). We just had had a baby at that point. He is one now.

Anyways, the DA in county court dismissed all charges because there was nothing to convict him of, and they took their sweet time trying to find something. I am sure they monitored our visits to see if there was anything wrong and of course they found nothing. They deal with battered women all the time and I know they know I am not one. They saw it for what it was (a verbal altercation) and anyways, parole got him.

After he was sentenced the his parole agent admitted to me that he was in trouble because my hubby did not listen to him about transferring back to the OC. Just goes to show you how CORRUPT this system is! So u mean to tell me they have my husband in there all these months because some cry baby parole agent is mad because my hubby did not move when he wanted him to? I yelled at him. The whole thing with the moving thing is this ... the parole agent told him to move to OC. Said he had to because my hubby had an argument with my mom (and we were living with her at the time). I called headquarters and found out he did not have to move counties because I am his wife and we have a son together, so we moved to an apartment. The parole officer obviously had kept a chip on his shoulder ever since! When my hubbs got sentenced by parole to 10 mos (which he is only doing 9) ... well like I said he said that is what he gets for not listening to me and going over my head. I said HE DIDN'T GO OVER YOUR HEAD! First of all I am the one who found out and 2nd of all you had no business LYING to him in the first place. My hubby is a good parolee. He is no trouble. He was very compliant and was always where he was supposed to be. This parole agent did not even come and check on him TWO months in a row! Good for my husband I I guess, but damn ... doesn't the agent have a job to do? I guess that means he lied on his paper work and told his boss he did check on him.

BrandyBean52
11-10-2008, 10:03 PM
Can you fight it and win ?? I kn ow you can appel it.. but has anyone ever won ? Also if you try to fight it and lose wil that make the time on parole even harder... will that bring more attention to you ??

uraqt4us
12-17-2008, 09:29 AM
hey brandy that sucks they did that they are doing it to me and my hubby to i suggest that you guys just follow the rules and when he takes his classes you can get involved with them if his po and cousler okays it ours did and then it can e lifted as early as 6 months it beats taking a chance of them ging back and not even be able to visit or write the next time i hear its a straight year if the get caught too

TheLuckyOne
12-17-2008, 02:27 PM
All PO's are different, so it depends on the PO that is assigned to him. He will have to sign his conditions not too long after he gets out and he will know if no contact with you is one of them. Also, PO's put these "no contact" orders for your protection and for the states protection because should something happen to you, caused by your husband, they don't want to be liable. Please also remember that when someone is incarcerated they say and do all the things you want to hear, especially abusers. Please be careful and think of YOURSELF first and your children if you have any.

GsMom
12-18-2008, 02:07 PM
If the cops came to your house and found you dead who would be to blame then? Just my thought

2sleepy
12-18-2008, 02:51 PM
This section of the penal code looks like they can do whatever they want:
3053. (a) The Board of Prison Terms upon granting any parole to any prisoner may also impose on the parole any conditions that it may deem proper.

Sections specifically allowing them to order 'no contact' are:


3053.2. (a) Upon the request of the victim, or the victim's parent or legal guardian if the victim is a minor, the parole authority shall impose the following condition on the parole of a person released from prison for an offense involving threatening, stalking, sexually abusing, harassing, or violent acts in which the victim is a person specified in Section 6211 of the Family Code:

3053.6. (a) Where a person committed to prison for a sex crime for which registration is required pursuant to Section 290 is to be
released on parole, the department, in an appropriate case, shall
make an order that the parolee not contact or communicate with the victim of the crime, or any of the victim's family members

BigShoulders
12-18-2008, 10:00 PM
edited out

bml
05-12-2009, 10:58 PM
I found that as soon as you get the police involved in your dv situation you lose control over what you want and what happens. Their training as well as the training of the dv centers, CPS, District Attorney, etc. is to make sure that you are safe and that usually means no contact. My boyfriend went through dv classes already and finished them. He seemed to really get something out of them but the clincher is that they won't allow couples counseling during the classes. By the time he got out of the classes and we tried for couples counseling we found that it was very hard to set up an appointment for them. We tried for months and just as we were getting to the point of almost having them in place, we had a fight. My suggestion is let him finish the classes but try your best to start setting up couples couseling for a date just after he finishes. Then you can continue where the classes left off. I noticed quite a change in him but the support system broke down and that change was challenged by further stresses in our lives...mostly brought by the courts. They can ruin a good thing and split families up. Don't let them. I'm still fighting for mine. But I have an order of protection that was forced upon me and can't have any contact with him for 6 months...neither can his kids. I don't know how they think this will help the situation because he doesn't know that I wasn't the one to put them in place and now I'm sure htat he resents me for it and thinks I gave up on him. Keep fighting the good fight and good luck to you.
A year ago I had to have my husband arrested for DV. He wasn't convicted of it as he was found with drugs and under the influence... We've spent the last year trying to rebuild our marriage and he's paroling to a residential treatment facility to continuing his programming (he's done a year inside sofar). We've been "told" by the prison's parole person that the parole agent will most likely make no contact with me until he's completed a 26 or 52 week anger management class a condition of his parole. Which I think is crazy cause we want to get marriage counseling started and have me participate in classes with him at his treatment facility, plus another year waiting?? Has anyone experienced this and fought it - sucessfully or not? Since our marriage is a private issue between us, it doesn't seem right that the government could override our decisions and impose their own - sounds like a foreign country! Any input/advice would be welcomed! Thanks!

tgirl247
05-14-2009, 04:48 AM
The penal code states the TERMS OF PAROLE BOARD may impose the no contact order. If they don't, does the individual P.O. have the right to add it himself? There is no legal backing to impose this condition. There are no police reports or incident reports, no court case, no conviction. He was violated but thats it. We figured there wouldnt be the condition because there is no proof that he had done anything. If the State Board doesnt have enough cause to impose then why should the P.O.? Especially when that means its the luck of the draw. His P.O. might impose but another P.O. might not. How is that legal?:angry:

patswife4-ever
05-14-2009, 10:05 AM
The penal code states the TERMS OF PAROLE BOARD may impose the no contact order. If they don't, does the individual P.O. have the right to add it himself? There is no legal backing to impose this condition. There are no police reports or incident reports, no court case, no conviction. He was violated but thats it. We figured there wouldnt be the condition because there is no proof that he had done anything. If the State Board doesnt have enough cause to impose then why should the P.O.? Especially when that means its the luck of the draw. His P.O. might impose but another P.O. might not. How is that legal?:angry:

We are currently fighting a NCO order right now also. On my husbands parole papers it says the REASON for the NCO is because there is a restraining order. Well, there is NO RESTRAINING ORDER!! We have told his PO this and we have asked his PO for a copy of this supposed RO. I have called the DA and the Public Defender and there is NO RO, but parole is still imposing the NCO :angry:

Parole will do what they want. They seem to want to do everything to make it HARDER on the parolee. They wanted my husband to go to a homeless shelter!! How is that going to help him?! It's not. You don't send a recovering addict to the streets with $200 cash :blah:

Anyway, we are 602ing the NCO and hoping things will work out for the best.

Good Luck to you!! :thumbsup:

uraqt4us
05-16-2009, 04:08 PM
we r fighting the no contact order threw a lawyer and it is a simple process if u r married we should find out in a week and if it works all i will let u guys know the proper steps to take please keep us in ur prayers

patswife4-ever
05-16-2009, 04:50 PM
we r fighting the no contact order threw a lawyer and it is a simple process if u r married we should find out in a week and if it works all i will let u guys know the proper steps to take please keep us in ur prayers


Good luck to you and pleae let us know how things go!! I will be praying for you both!! :thumbsup:

uraqt4us
05-18-2009, 10:10 PM
Good luck to you and pleae let us know how things go!! I will be praying for you both!! :thumbsup:

i will for sure we should know in a week, two at the most =)

missjoker
06-26-2009, 07:28 PM
All of these DV situations that I am seeing on this thread are appealable situations especially if you are in the state of CA. If you need a CDC form 602 please send me a PM so that I can send that to you in PDF format as well as the filing instructions.

Until next time...take care Would you please send me a copy of this form? Thankyou ***Removed per PTO policy***

Mitchell79
07-17-2009, 01:50 AM
I filled out a form for a "Peaceful" Contact Order - Made a court-date - went to DV counseling/got proof I went - Back to court I go - Judge orders a "Peaceful" Contact Order to override the original RO given at the time of the arrest.

Peaceful Contact Order = He/She cant threaten you or harm you in a physical manner while the order is in place, but lets you be together and live together.

BigShoulders
07-17-2009, 07:12 AM
Ladies, I'd like to share a small portion of my life with you. I grew up in a house that had some very abusive moments. Nightly fights, things being thrown around. You name it, my family seemed to do it. Among all of that, I was the quiet one who sat in a chair and read. Fast forward a few years after high school graduation and I'm writing a slew of bad checks. Why? Because a guy I loved was beating the everloving cr*p out of me. I got out of county jail (2 of them, actually) and went right back to him. Big mistake that cost me 3 years of my life in prison.

Now, I'm one of the so-called smart people who test at a genius level on IQ tests but my common sense level = not so great. But you learn a few things when you're in a prison (at least women usually do). You learn that most men never change and apologies and promises count for nothing. Programs that try to help them channel their anger only work if they work at it. But the number one thing I learned is this: If you get hit or beat up or even just emotionally abused, and you have him arrested and you don't leave while he's in county jail or even just at the police station, then you have, without a word, told him that it's ok to keep abusing you. He doesn't want you to leave but in his mind, your staying means you're ok with the abuse. It's not what you're really saying but it IS how he interprets it.

Do yourselves a favor. Get away from him and take advantage of any counseling for yourself that you can find. This is your life and your body and if you don't wrap your mind around that concept, then you will continually get into relationships that are exactly the same, because your mind begins to feel that you deserve that kind of relationship only. You can love that person with all your heart but you can't make him change, only he can. You can, however, make yourself change. Take advantage of the time that you're ordered to keep apart and work on changing you, so that you're a stronger you who can look at him if he goes to hit you and tell him to his face, "NEVER AGAIN!" Do it for yourselves and do it for your children. Don't you both deserve it?

Mrs Mouse
07-17-2009, 10:56 PM
Julie,
I got to tell you, I applaud CDCR for making some of these guys who commit DV go through anger amnagement. But I got to tell you I got this brother up in Oregon who went through so so many anger management classes and domestic violence but it took him getting almost 50 and HIM wanting to change and in the meantime I watched 3 women suffer. One he tried to kill for leaving him, 2nd was a w$ore in his eyes and I had to hear it each time I went to his house and I would hear him trying to beat her but she beat him back, then on the third he was up in Oregon and she called me and I started "talking" thinking she knew something about him and then I got the call back from him...I could hear the anger in him but I told him she deserved to know..it helped being 1000 miles away from the guy too. Now he is in all this religious stuff but he is still Ron deep down. I would NEVER NEVER set a gal up with him..regardless of how much he changed. But at least he wants to change..on his own. So Julie ..does your husband go to these classes BECAUSE the state wants him to or does he want to go to change..I agree what you say may turn to be ammo in the future. I used to see that in my brother with the wives..I wish you all the luck girlie..

har-dawn
07-27-2009, 05:06 PM
all of these dv situations that i am seeing on this thread are appealable situations especially if you are in the state of ca. If you need a cdc form 602 please send me a pm so that i can send that to you in pdf format as well as the filing instructions.

Until next time...take care


could you tell me more about form 602 ??

stewardgirl32
07-27-2009, 07:56 PM
Seems like there's hope in CA. I'm going thru the same thing. My husband and I got into an argument and I called the police. He didn't hit me but he destroyed some things in our home. Calling the police while he was already on parole (for DUI) was what led to him going back to prison. We're in MI and they consider any type of disagreement involving police DV (sucks). He's about to come home in 30 days but he can't come home due to the no contact order. I don't know what I can do to get it removed. Any ideas? We are very much in love and really need each other...we're all we got (literally).:(

Pixiedust1015
07-23-2010, 01:43 AM
[quote=uraqt4us;4667518]i will for sure we should know in a week, two at the most =)
Hi I was just wondering what the outcome was. did u get the no contact conditions removed? and if so, how did u go about it? my husband will be out in Sept 2010 and we wanna take action before they set the term. we have a baby together and are planning to live together while attending counseling, parenting classes, and he completes his batterer intervention program. Please let me know I need all the help I can get. Thx...oh and the court granted a peaceful contact order but the DA has agreed to remove the order all together. will this help when his P.O. reviews his case? Who should I contact to get information on how to request terms and conditions?

Pixiedust1015
07-23-2010, 02:55 AM
I am in a similar situtation as you. I was convicted of penal code section 664/273.5(a) "Corpoural injury to spouse". My PO has implimented a no contact order as a special condition of parole even though my wife never requested it or wants it. Besides, the court has never issued a stay away or no contact order. So what my PO is doing is illegal and I'm currently in the process of filing an appeal with CDC. Anyway in your case there is hope. First off there is case law that states it's unconstitutional for the parole or probation departments to place a no contact order (i.e., as a special condition of parole) preventing a felon to associate with other ex-felons (keep in mind that the courts apply conditions of probation to parole), see People vs Garcia (1993) 19 Cal. App. 4th 97, 101 &102(also 23 Cal Rptr 2nd 340). In this case the court found it was unconstituational. You may have to do some research at the Law Library in the city where you live. You can also try and challenge the no contact order on grounds that it had nothing to do with her commitment offense. If your in the state of Cal look at the Department of Operations Manuel (for parole), you can do a google search. There is a section in the manual that states for a special condition to be imposed it be related to the crime for which a person was sent to prison for. Also you may try and attack the no contact order as violating both your and her 14th Amendment rights. There are a few other ways to approach this also, if this doesn't help let me know and I'll try and help you further, But the most important thing is if your in the state of California a parolee only has 15 days to appeal a decision or action imposed by the parole authority. Good luck and don't give up.
I wanted to know the outcome of your appeal to the no contact conditions. my husband will be out in Sept 2010. we want to be prepared since they might make this a special condition because I was the victim

Shari
07-23-2010, 07:38 AM
You might not get a response from the others that posted in this thread. The thread is over a year old.

carrier050708
02-10-2011, 02:54 PM
Heres my situation both my husband and I are convicted felons both on parole both money charges and we are not codefedents! We are drug addicts, who have each over a year clean. We have a 2 year old son aswell. Parole put a no contact order on us. THERE IS NO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE in our past. My husband however has a dv/ harrasment charge on his record from 14 years ago with an ex girlfried they are using as there basis. Can they do this it dosnt seem fair or reasonable when we have never had any DV. Can anyone help?