That's my question for anyone who knows or wants to answer. I know prison is a very racially divided place. Do you think it's harder for our men who have interacial relationships on the inside? I've worried about this a lot since Bobby went in. I worry when I send pictures that him having a "white" family could bring trouble from those who "hate" black men and white women or from the black men that think you stay within you race. Is this even an issue for them in prison? Does anybody have an idea? I'd love to hear your feedback

Well were my husband is, he has no trouble. The only issue he has is that they get mad (more like Jealous) because he gets letters and gets to call and gets his visits. Other than that, we haven't seen any problems so far.

I asked my husband about this. He says that he has no problems inside with this issue. He doesn't associate with anyone who would own that kind of negativity about him or us.

even though im not in a ir-relationship per-say....i can certainly understand your concern....i wish that i can say that it doesn't make harder for him....but unfortunity we live in a world filled with hate...and racially charged individuals....my advise....dont falter...dont give in to ignorance.....keep your head up!!!!!!

good luck to u!!!!!

Thanks guys!!!!! Your thoughts have given me a little piece of mind. I've always been worried it's worse than he says, but mabe not.

We have a hearing date 3/15/06 Pray for us.

no cuz your there writing going to see them n loving them there relize what they have ut can be tempted by other female like writing them n sending pix that youll never know bout

at first, i was the cause of a lot of Scott's fights. he's white and i'm hispanic. the white clicks wanted him to join up with them and he refused, so it caused an uproar. he beat some @$$ and they left him alone for a while, just before he was transfered, they started up again. where he is at now, i have been an advantage to him. he's really close to the mexico border, so all the guards are hispanic! they really cut for him cause they say that he's mexican if he can pull a girl like me! LOL they are all very friendly to him. i guess its not right, but nothing in prison is. you gotta take advantage when and where ever you can.

. . . I've always been worried it's worse than he says, but mabe not. . . . We have a hearing date 3/15/06 Pray for us.
KFK, stop worrying and looking for things to happen because when you live like that it will seem like all that you're looking for to happen will come to you. I strongly believe that if you take your mind off of the difference between you and your mane and just relax, love and live, that not only will you be able to enjoy life better, but you'll be able to enjoy your Baby better as well.

We've got a hearing next week too -- my husband got a letter out of the blue saying he's eligible for temporary release NOW, and then got one saying the TRC wants to see him on the 14th. So it looks like next week could bring something BIG for the both of us. :o

But really, just relax, live and love because I believe in karma -- if this is what you put out, this is what will come back around to you.

it CAN cause drama BUT it usually doesn't, especially if he stays away from that type of nonsense.

my hubby has had a few inmates come to him and ask him what my race was. and he's always replied, 'it's whatver you want it to be', meaning he wasn't giving out that information. but honestly, yes, they can give the inmate a difficult time for it. my hubby, like a few others, stays out of the drama so it's ok for us.

I am a white girl, and my ex is black. He hasn't had any problems with it in there. A lot of the black guys in there date white women so it's okay. I don't see any problems with interracial relationships. I have a biracial son that is 6 years old, and he is the cutest. Maybe I am partial, but biracial kids are the cutest.

It doesn't cause problems for him. But he has inmates he never knew before I started to visit, they are now coming up to him making comments (some good and some bad). There was only one occasion where someone said something that almost got him punched out. He actually likes all the attention of having a "Sista" come visit him.

I'm white and my babies father is black. I dont think there is any problem with it where he is, or else he just don't care. Cuz he carries me and our dauthers pic everywhere and shows off how pretty we are.
Oh yeah, I do think mixed kids are soooo cute. God seen that to people looked past color and so he blessed them with the most wonderful looking children.

The differences that make us the unique individuals we are have never been an issue in the relationship I share with Sebastian, we certainly wouldn't let anyone elses opinions influence us. Maybe because of that I kept forgetting to ask him this question but I finally did so that I could share another response with you.

He told me that in his experience with black inmates dating women outside their race it would seem that there is a certain level of status attached to it. Often when men see who's visiting whom they will ask, "How'd you get her?" kind of questions. Now, mind you this is not an opinion that either of us share but just what he has seen and heard around him in the Illinois prisons he's served time in through the years. Frankly, I think it's just as sad as those who find IR relationships distasteful but it's the world we live in, unfortunately.

Patty

I have asked him about this too, because when I went to visit him it was only me and one other couple that was in an interracial relationship, but he says he doesn't have any problems, he says that in his block he gets along with everybody, everybody just wants to go home so they do there business and stays out of trouble and when I send him pics of me he says alot of people want to see the pics and everybody tells him how lucky he is, blacks, hispanics and whites, nobody cares. Honestly I feel that interracial relationship are being more excepted now I know that there are going to be some place, I live in the south, I hear things all the time. But I have learned to ignore peoples ignorance and love who I want to love.

I don't think it makes it harder on my Mando. Infact I believe he has more perks... Not only can he use the *homeboy's* phone he can use the black only phone. Sounds crazy but I told everyone I can talk to in there "Since his lady is part black it makes him just as black as me" and they all seem cool with it. So no it has not caused him any problems at all. He will show my pictures off, talk about me to everyone..I think it made him more open to other races if anything.

I don't think it makes it harder on my Mando. Infact I believe he has more perks... Not only can he use the *homeboy's* phone he can use the black only phone. Sounds crazy but I told everyone I can talk to in there "Since his lady is part black it makes him just as black as me" and they all seem cool with it. So no it has not caused him any problems at all. He will show my pictures off, talk about me to everyone..I think it made him more open to other races if anything.

Wow well I may live in Illinois now but I spent much more of my life in California and your man's situation seems to be completely against the norm for Cali prisons but I'm not questioning it I just had to comment on what to some would appear AMAZING.

As for him getting more perks behind it, I find that deplorable on a personal level, it goes back to what my man and I discussed about the level of status attached to dating outside, I think everyone should be treated equally but then again I'm jaded and know that is not to be at least not at this moment.

Please know I'm not getting on you or your man, just the situation and this is coming from someone that really has no issues about IR relationships.

All the best,
Patty

Well see when he goes to prison he is on lock down.. I'm reffering to while in county. In county they have two phones for the black groups, 1 for others, and 1 for nortenos (in the max area of county). He is a norteno so he can use that phone, plus he can use 1 of the black only phones.. im not sure which group it is but its just 1 of the two groups not both. He talks to more black guys while locked up now, not just the nortenos like he did b4 me. Plus I got more than enough family in jail to make sure he is ok.. He goes to max in county than to D.V.I for prison, and D.V.I. does not let him use the phones at all, but he is ok, at least thats what his counselor always tells me when I call once a week to check on my baby.

Outside status for nortenos don't really matter unless your outside girl is a sureno, than that would be a problem, but they are use to many homeboys dating black, asians, white, etc. The fact it helps him is because now he has taken the time to get to know the black inmates, maybe he uses me as converstation piece, but what ever it is, I'm glad because he now has opened his mind, and has allowed him to make some pretty cool friends on the inside. Which than comes the perks of the phone use. Which is a great thing, because 1 norteno phone for like 6 homeboys can be a very hard thing to share, so the calls would only be like 20 minutes long, but since he can use two different phones it helps with us being able to talk more.

In county they have two phones for the black groups, 1 for others, and 1 for nortenos (in the max area of county). He is a norteno so he can use that phone, plus he can use 1 of the black only phones...

Please excuse my ignorance here but why are their phones for blacks, others and nortenos? Why wouldn't they all use the same phones? :hmm:

I asked the same question when he first went in. I been in gerneral pop. for the females and it wasn't like that, but the guys are different, exspecially in max. I guess it's just a way of claiming your *turf* while in jail.

SweetBesitoz ~ He's norteno now that says it all, thanks for clearing that up cuz I was beginning to think so much had changed but unfortunately it hasn't.

Patty

It doesn't cause problems for him. But he has inmates he never knew before I started to visit, they are now coming up to him making comments . . . .
Yesterday I saw a couple interracial children at visit and an interracial couple sat beside us. I thought of PTO and how I saw no one staring at the couple or the children or talking about them. That made me ask my husband "so how is it Honey back in the house when it comes to IRRs considering prison is so racially divided. "

He said at visit the guys see who you are with. {You'd think that would be seen from photos displayed, but we're not inside so we only know what they tell us when it comes to what pics they actually display.} And what he said was yes, other inmates do have opinions about it. Not on the visit, but when they get back from visit.


Some women are quick to dismiss it as jealousy but that ain't it -- it's a lot deeper than that.

my hubby has been with his cellie for a few weeks and they were getting along fine. my hubby loves to show us off, so he showed his pictures of our little girls to his cellmate. it was not a problem. then he showed the cellmate a picture of me. the cellmate didn't deny that he hated black people. needless to say, there was a huge problem, and now my hubby has no cellmate (that's the third cellmate he got rid of in the last 30 days LOL!). this is my first time with having to deal with prejudice concerning my hubby in prison. i know that it's there, but we did a good job of avoiding it until now. i also have a feeling that my hubby was sent to lockup because he's not black and i am, but of course we can't prove it and the officer would deny it anyway.

lots of times, we have people come here saying, "oh why does this forum even exist" but just because someone ignores discrimination doesn't make it go away (obviously). plenty of inmates face issues for who they choose to be with race wise, and they have battles daily because of it, as do many of us (those who love inmates of a different race). as i said above, i feel that my hubby was sent to lockup because we are an interracial couple with children that are interracial (my gut feeling, i could be wrong but i don't think i am). so as long as this is an issue (and i don't see it ending anytime soon), i'm happy this forum exists.

lots of times, we have people come here saying, "oh why does this forum even exist" but just because someone ignores discrimination doesn't make it go away (obviously). plenty of inmates face issues for who they choose to be with race wise, and they have battles daily because of it, as do many of us (those who love inmates of a different race). as i said above, i feel that my hubby was sent to lockup because we are an interracial couple with children that are interracial (my gut feeling, i could be wrong but i don't think i am). so as long as this is an issue (and i don't see it ending anytime soon), i'm happy this forum exists.

Thank you thank you thank you mrschris for that is EXACTLY why this forum exists, it doesn't matter if I am in a so called interracial relationship and my man and I do not have any problems or if someone can't understand such issues it's BECAUSE SOME FACE THESE ISSUES ALONGSIDE THEIR INCARCERATED LOVED ONES THAT THIS FORUM EXISTS!!! Again thank you for reminding us!!!

Patty

exactly patty.

i would have never thought initially that i'm sitting here waiting for my hubby to get his visits back because i'm black and he is not. however, as people told me more about the officer that initiated the lockup, i was upset to find out that maybe he was peeved because here i was, a black woman, going FAITHFULLY to see her white man and supporting him the way he should be supported. a good friend of mine, who i met right here on PTO, has personal experience with the officer, and was the one who told me that yes,he IS biased in MANY MANY ways and SHE wouldn't be surprised if this entire lockup stunt was over him not agreeing with me and my man having so much fun in visits since we're different races. she really made me see things in a different light. and then...the issue my hubby had to just go through with his cellmate basically let me know that i was being a little more naive than i should have been concerning our race. i guess i was just so pleased with the overall behavior of the staff and inmates at his prison that i didn't think we would have to go through this. like you said, just because ONE person doesn't go through issues concerning their skin color doesn't mean another person won't. we have to support each other, because this forum has a place just like any other forum here, because we DO go through drama for being a different color than our loved ones, the same way some may go through drama for being of a different sexual preference than others, or loving a certain type of offender, or whatever.

actually i was surprised to see how many threads we get over here about why this forum should not exist. as long as racism exists, this forum should exist, ESPECIALLY since it's a prison forum, and racism is blatant and even more dangerous THERE than it is here out on the streets!

, ESPECIALLY since it's a prison forum, and racism is blatant and even more dangerous THERE than it is here out on the streets!
Our point EXACTLY! Maybe we don't see it on the streets near as much as b4. And YES people SHOULD just let it all go. However, OUR prison system sees it much differently. And our men face WAY more issues then on the inside. This is WHY this forum is here, and WHY it will stay.

Much respect :)

Stacy

This hate in the prison system is so sad to me that thoughts of it hurts me. That's because it's my guess if you pull any one of the men aside who hate someone of another race and ask him why, he wouldn't even know.

What I believe is they don't really hate like that in their heart -- some do but alot don't. But because that's part of prison, they just get caught up in that prison mess.

They don't hate where my husband is, but they do have opinions, which is good because if there was hate there would be violence and it's really not much of that where he is.

That's my question for anyone who knows or wants to answer. I know prison is a very racially divided place. Do you think it's harder for our men who have interacial relationships on the inside? I've worried about this a lot since Bobby went in. I worry when I send pictures that him having a "white" family could bring trouble from those who "hate" black men and white women or from the black men that think you stay within you race. Is this even an issue for them in prison? Does anybody have an idea? I'd love to hear your feedback



I suppose that in some institutions it could be harder on our men. Considering that we are in Louisiana, it's not been a huge issue for my husband. The only time he got any grief was from a guy who was related to a woman my husband used to date.

Other than that, there haven't been any issues.

LifeTraveler

if you ask anyone, in prison or not, why they hate someone of a different race, they probably wouldn't know. that's a way of life.

honestly, i think alot of them will hold their views in prison or out of prison, even if it's not in their heart. it's their lifestyle, a way of their life, and the only thing prison does is cause them to use that belief to their advantage by gaining protection of those that are "like" them and that "think" like them.

i believe the level of violence is not neccessarily indicative of whether or not there is "hate" flowing. it's there...it's just that some facilities have better control over their inmate population than others for a variety of reasons.

My husband really doesn't get discrimanated about being in an IR. all of the guys he hangs with are his boys or his family. most of them are dating "white girls". So it really isn't an issue

My man has never said anything to me about him getting any grief, but I have never really asked him.

well i have never really thought about this one, maybe because he has never brought it up. if it ever was an issue he would of talked to me about it. but i do know that all his boys want one like me. or so they tell him...