Hello,
I am new here I used to use crack cocaine and what a nightmare that was. I am clean now and have been for some time, I lost every thing to crack my home my belongings my self worth my health, you name it I lost it. I tryed every thing to try and get clean but the urges would not leave me alone. Then I found a site on line it offered a 75 day programe by tood gibson I got it and got involved with the site, the programe worked and I thank god for it, I now have my own place to live again my health is better my self respect is back and I feel great. On this site there is even a radio show every thursday at 9.30 pm est todd helps you he used to use his self so he understands, also there are groups that you can join it realy does get you clean here is the web add (web site address removed, please contact member for information)
mazuk

Thank you very much for posting that web address. I am sure that there are tons of people that need it. Congradulations on being clean. Keep it up. I know my boyfriend was addicted to crystal meth and he lost everything but me, which he almost did lose. I am glad that you can enjoy life again. Keep moving forward! I send my best wishes to you.

Congratulations & Welcome To PTO!

Welcome to PTO!!!
Thank you for posting this...Congratulations on your continued sobriety from crack cocaine!!!! I hope you will continue to grow stronger day by day, month by month... we are here for you!

I cooked up cocaine 4-5x with a friend and smoked crack. It was really good cocaine too. It was one of the best highs I ever had, and i was an avid weed smoker. We threw away the baking soda after that. It was so good we knew we couldnt do it anymore. Plus we had a crap load of pot to smoke so it wasnsnt on our minds to keep using crack. Well we were selling, so we can do all the product. BUt anyways CRAck is bad. I;m glad my addiction was marijuana and not that. Good luck , just wanted to share a slice of time with you.

can i have that web site cause my hubby has a drug problem

Smart move Graduate cause crack is soooo hard to get away from once u have enjoyed it a few times.

MY WONDERFUL MARRIAGE ENDED THE DAY MY HUSBAND GOT HOOKED ON CRACK. AFTER 10 YEARS WITHOUT MY KNOWING IT HE GOT HOOKED ON CRACK ..I CAME HOME ONE NIGHT TO A HOUSE DESTROYED, A HUSBAND I DIDNT KNOW AND BEFORE THE NIGHT WAS OVER A BEATEN BODY ..I LIVED IN FEAR FOR MY LIFE FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS UNTIL I FINALLY TOLD HIM I WOULD HAVE THE POLICE COME AND ARREST HIM. HE BOUGHT ANOTHER HOUSE AND LOST THAT..PEOPLE WHO I KNOW ARE ON CRACK CANNOT KEEP JOBS, GET THEIR FRIENDS ON CRACK. HAVE NO MONEY USUALLY NO CARS AND SPEND THE DAYS CRAWLING ON THE CARPET LOOKING FOR A PIECE THEY DROPPED. THEY FORGET ABOUT THEIR FAMILIES, THEIR CHILDREN. LEARN HOW TO LIE ALL TO GET HIGH. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THE END NOTHING:confused:

Mazuk Welcome To Pto. Good Luck With It All.

Congrulations! Its a great post. I read almost the entire site. I love the "crack don'ts" they just had me laughing. You have a beautiful heart to share with others what has helped you. I hope that you continue to stay clean.

Congrats on being clean

Question:

No matter how much you want to quit and how unhappy one can get when it starts effecting lives......how do you get over the cravings and the uncomfortable feeling with out it. My friend says she has no problem with quiting except for that. She says it's way uncomfortable when she starts to jones and doesn't even have fun doing it anymore...she just does it to satisfy the urge. Is there anything she can do or does she have to suffer through it? I feel bad for her. Jeez.

Thanks

I am going to share my experience with crack cocaine and the miserable life/death I went through in hopes it will help someone.

When I was 19 I tried crack for the first time. I had been known to smoke pot and do acid at that time. I never really got the "hang" of smoking it then. My son's dad moved in with me and he was smoking but maybe a 50 on the weekend. We got pregnant with our daughter and moved to a bigger town. My guy continued to smoke, now its the entire weekend and then missing work on Mondays. I start doing other drugs, coke, meth, weed, ecstasy, heroin and special k on the weekends, which ever of these drugs I could get my hands on. Still no crack for me. I started a job at a gas station and soon after he just stopped going to work. I was also once again pregnant. We had a joint checking and he wrote 22 bad checks out on it. We also were able to receive food stamps and when they were on the card I would have to go very early in the morning and get all the food or he would sell them to the dope man. I was getting into the meth pretty good myself but still maintained.

I started a better job with more money but not enough for a family of 5. I started seeing items missing from our home. Eventually all electronics were gone.
If he new I had money he would beg me for it. I learned long ago to sleep with my purse. He would go weeks with out ever coming upstairs to bed to me. When he did sleep it was on the couch. As a women this breaks down your self esteem. I never lost any of the baby weight and was gaining more and more. He would talk down to me till I was so upset I gave him money just to have him get away from me. occasionaly he became physical but not oftan and this was my excuse to peoplke for staying.

Then one day I was sitting on the couch watching our rent to own TV when my guy came out of the bathroom and said here I want you to try this. I ask why and he says cause I just learned how to rock it up. You haven't done any in years and I want to know if its any good. Silly me finally gave in after 4 years of standing my ground with crack. I was so sick of watching him get high all the time and I was trying to be responsible. Even with the drugs I did do I still thought I was better then him, I had a job. I also think in retrospect that he wanted me to use crack so he was not so lonley either and I wanted to feel conected to him again.

My entire check was paying for drugs. My guy started shop lifting to support the drug habits and randomly stealing things in the neighborhood. Then child protective services came to the door, we went to court and they removed the children from the home. We were also losing our apartment and going to be homeless. (we had already lost our vehicle and driving a 87 van).

So we stayed were ever and got high while trying to get the kids back. We ended up stealing a car and he went to jail for it. During that time I stayed at a shelter, got clean and got a place to live. I then moved to a house in the country. He got out and was clean for a short time. I started smoking meth again and he started the crack. I quit my job to have more time to get high. When I couldn't get meth I started smoking crack with him. We then started doing B and E's and Home Invasions to support our habit. We fought all the time. I only wanted to get high cause when I wasn't, I was crying and I couldn't deal with all my loss, pain and hurt that I had caused myself. I was suppose to be those kids mom and be there for them. I was a failure as a parent. I had signed my rights as there parents off and there dad did the same. We asked there foster family to adopt them. I love my kids and I new that was the best thing to do for them, no matter how painful it was and still is.

Then the criminal behavior finally caught up with us. One morning while finally getting home from being in the streets for 6 days the police raided our house. We were arrested for numerous charges, in two different counties. I couldn't believe all the robberies they said we had done in that short amount of time, only because I know I didn't get much in the way of drugs for it all. I was not surprised by the arrest and was actaully a bit relived that it was over. I was sentenced and did 13 months of county time as well as intense probation upon release. My now husband was sentenced to 5-15 years.

I have been clean now over two years. It has not been easy. I have family that are still usinbg and think things are still the same. When I hear people talking in detail about using I get sick to my stomach from the desire to use. It has steadly gotten better, somedays are better then others, today is one of those others and thats why I'm writing this out is to look back.

When I was released I had nothing. Not even the clothes I once wore. I had to start over. I went through 10 months of out patient rehab. I have a decent job, a place to live and a car. I will be going back to college in January. My kids are adopted and I get 1 set of school pictures each year. Life is alot different for me now, but its better then getting high. I am healthier and happerier. I am dealing with what I went through instead of masking it. I decided my children's life's are not in vain. If I did not learn from losing them and change and grow then I truly am that failure as a parent. Some day my children will come and see me and have questions, I will show them all that I have accomplished in there name.

my boyfriend is a recovering crack addict. He says it's been the hardest to shake. He was using crack and heroine and went through detox and treatment for it. When he got out he went back to smoking crack but not heroine. He has been clean from H for almost 2 years. He had 9 months clean from crack when he relapsed just 1 month after completing a 6 month rehab. We were just friends during his treatment (I had previous volunteer ties to the program) but had a budding friendship. We hung out when he graduated but then he started blowing me off. My addictions training told me he was out using again. He called me and told me he needed to tell me something but I heard nothing. 3 weeks later I found out he had been arrested and was sitting in county jail. I made up my mind to go see and him and support him. He ended up going to prison for almost 2 months and now he is out. He has 4 months clean now. He used for about 2 weeks before he was arrested. Now he is out and doing the deal. I go to at least 2 meetings with him and he is working with his sponsor. He says it feels different now. He does struggle sometimes when it comes to a certain neighborhood so when we are anywhere close to it we do alot of talking. He'll call me or a friend if he ever feels like he is "white knuckeling" it through an area. But all in all he is doing well. He still has thoughts of using which we know will always come and go but he does not have the obssesive thoughts about using. In all honesty he gets sick to his stomach when he thinks about it. Each day is a new day and we take each one as it comes.

i too am a recovering crack addict.this is my story


in 1995 i married my husband,we divorced in 1997.we both got joint custody and he used that to torment me.for 2 years i suffered unimaginable obstacles to make sure my baby was safe.he was beating me on the regular but i never left her to him.in 1999 i met my love.i wsa still fighting my x for me and my daughters justice.anyway people started telling him that i belonged to BROWN.yall he was so hurt.when i told him how people knew how much he beat me but they making it seem like me &my x was still together he vowed to protect me.bac in 1998 my x had broke down my door and shot at me.when i first met jamie i instinctly knew he was special.but i didn't think i deserved him.eventually we moved in together.he used to worry sick cuz i would often go over to my x and take care of my daughter.yeah,my x would be threatening me so it frightened him when my had his custody term.when i fell in love that's when my x got really evil.me and jamie were still together.we had plenty of ups and downs but we made it thru.on my 30 birthday i was over to my x and there were quite a few people over.all family.there was beer liquor weed and i thought i saw something else buti'm not sure.all my life i only smoked weed.anyway after going bac to the bathroom a few times i woke up on the floor and my x was standing over me.i vividly remember getting loud and running.i fell so many times in the house trying to get out and just as many times when i got outside.all the company were lined up against the wall laughing at me.yall,i was falling like dead weight i hit the marble coffee table.fell ONto the tree-not into it.anyway i went to jail.at the time i still had no idea i had been slipped a mickey.i also didn't know i was screaming he's not getting my kids.i ended up trying to FIND whatever he put in my beer myself cuz the system wsn't hearing me.my love had been using but i was working on him.he never knew i thought of trying it find it.when i told him he hit the roof and me too.i gave him the ultimatum that he could take me as is or leave.he didn't go he knew it was gonna be harder to keep me safe but he did.went through all the drama of drug torture you can think of.when he went in i was still addicted.i had started living the addict life and i took the kids totheir father and left.i was so far gone.it tore him upwhen i wrote that i was going to let it have me.i ws tired of living like no one knew.one of my hangons got by a little better cuz she accepted it-if crack smoking can get better.i saw what i had let ME become.i was so ashamed of the things by body had been subjected to.he wants to know EXACTLY what my secret is.after two years of living a crack life and doing unimaginable things i broke free.but i still can't talk in depth about it.as it is i haven't written to my love in 3 months.that's a different story.2004 my fiancee went to jail then prison(22 yrs)april 2005 my x husband died.4 months late i left everything and moved to minnesota.i have started college.we have a church home.next month i will celebrate my 2 year sobriety from crack cocaine.funny i don't remember passing any of yall on that road called crack.we are some hell of some survivors to beat the crack crave.one day at a time.