Never thought we'd get here... 64 days and counting..I wish I had good things to say, but things just haven't gone well... I'm scared, he's scared, we've had a serious breakdown in communication.. It was so much easier when he got out before. We met while he was locked up and spent 3 and a half years getting to know one another, looking forward to him coming home, the disappointments of parole turndowns....We went through it all together, but this time? He has been back in for for 3 years and we haven't seen each other at all. Because we lived together out here for 2 years, and with everything that went wrong?, we both have fears and doubts..We really were better off before. Now? It's just so different. i should be so excited for him to be getting out but I'm not..I guess I am not sure I want this relationship to continue.. I really am just taking things one day at a time..As much as I hate to say this? I don't trust him..I totally fell apart when he went back in and I have re-built my life. I have a nice life and don't want anyone to 'rock the boat'. If that sounds selfish? Then I guess I am. But I never thought he'd go back before and he did.. I just can't go through the heart ache again.. He has spent the better part of 17 years locked up. I get scared that he is institutionalized..Actually? He is afraid of that too.. I think time will tell.. As for him and I? I just don't know..I really don't. He is maxing out.. No more parole..I live out of state from him, so will he come here? that was the plan, but who knows now..His letters like mine and very 'guarded' these days..Sad but true..How did a love so strong turn to such fear? After 7 years.. Guess I am a little lost today.. Thanks for listening.........

Congrats :)

well, your right, only time will tell. It is sad that things may not work, but you can be thankful that you had such a strong love at one point in your life, some can't say that. I hope everything works out for you, and be proud of yourself for building that life for yourself, noone can take that away from you, so your not selfish at all. You deserve that, and if he starts tearing that down, then you know what you have to do. Good luck, and listen to gut...it will tell you every time!

Congratulations and your right to take it one day at a time for now. I wish you the best so just fallow your heart. Good luck to you.:)

Congrats to you and your man. I hope the time flies by for you.

I am sorry to hear that things are working out so well:( I really hope you guys can work things out and fix the issues you are both having. Keep your head up sweetie!!! You will be in my thoughts! As you said...just take it one day at a time!! :yay: 63 more days!!:dance: Best wishes! Hugs:p
-Jackie

63 days!!! Yeah!!!

55 and a wake up....I am a wreak...seriously..I got a letter yesterday..He insistes everything is going to be Ok, if I agree to let him come here. Maybe he knows best....So many things I didn't do... This 20 pds, I put on...I cut my hair, he dosen't know.. So use to being alone now.. I do alot of praying....................

Congratulations to you both! I hope everything turns out great for you!! Hang in there!:thumbsup:

:yay::dance: 55 and a wake up!!! :fb::clap: I'm sorry that your having a hard time right now:( Just take it one day at a time!!! Try to stay calm. Don't worry about the hair, I'm sure he'll be fine with it. And your man loves you no matter what...20 more lbs and all:) Keep your head up! Hugs:p
-Jackie

Just take it one day at a time, you will know what to do. Just listen to yourself!!! Good luck!!! 54 more days!:D

Breathe honey breathe, although our timelines are different, I met Sebastian did 14 months with him then 16 months in the free world and now a total of 3 months of incarceration again, he'll be off paper this time. Will we do better now that the conditions of parole will be behind us? God, I hope so. Hoping doesn't cut it though, prayer helps, putting in the work is where it's at though I'm fairly sure about that.

You have a bit more time to communicate with your man and to come up with a plan and a back up plan for how best to proceed together. Share your fears and expectations with him. Work on this TOGETHER, that will build the foundation we all need to make the transition.

I wish you all the best,
Patty

EVERYthing will come into play take your time and relax...... This will be over soon and your man will be home with you!!!!

:yay: 53 days and a wake up left!!! :dance: Keep your head up!!! Hugs:p
-Jackie

53 days and a wake up it won't be long untill your in the 40's :D :thumbsup:

53 More days! I totally can relate to your concerns. I've also built a great life along with my son and I am totally scared of my "bubble" bursting when my man is released. I am also pregnant now, so my hormones make me worry more.

The only thing that made me feel better was I decided to have 100% faith in my hubby and god (I'm not that religous either). I think now that all my worries won't help anything. Don't worry too much about your hair and weight, your man will think ur beautiful no matter what. (My man is getting out to a very prego me!).

I know it's hard to readjust when your hubby will be released, but I'm sure it will all work out. AND, if for any reason it doesn't, try and deal with it at that point in time, not now. You have us here too! Keep us posted.

52 days left :D I hope that things become a lil easyier on you. Take each day at a time like you said. I hope everything works out for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Deb... Hang in there. And take care of yourself, but TALK to him!! Tell him what's going on with you and whats on your mind... of course there will be adjustments to make, but if you work TOGETHER, you can make it through anything that comes your way...

HANG IN THERE!!!!

Jenn

51 days!! Congrats!!!

One more down and 50 to go... Keep your head up the days will be dropping off and you will wonder where they went... :)

I just don't know how to thank everyone...50 days...OMG..I haven't seen him in 3 years..We were so close when he was home. In his last letter he said how he can tell the change in me from my letters. I just don't know when it all changed, the way I feel and look at things, but for those of you who told me to talk to him? Your all so right, but I know today it will have to be face to face.. So, I am queitly counting down the days. I feel bad posting these days because there are so many here at PTO that would give anything to have this short time I do, and for that I am sorry. Maybe with his love, when we finally get to talk, some of these walls I have built will start to come down, but again, thank you all for counting with me..I am just so afraid to get excited, it's like I fight it ya know???? One day at a time.....

50 days good luck and congrats

50 days and your threw with waiting. I hope that everything really dose work out for the both of you. I'm sure it will just continue to take each day at a time.

:yay: 49 days to go :dance: I'm sorry that your having a hard time right now...but remember, take it a day at a time and hope for the best:) Keep your head up! Hugs:p
-Jackie

48 days.....He called today!! I couldn't hardly believe it..:eek: Although we didn't solve everythig I think we are on the same page now. I really think we are going to be OK.. He just wants to come home... He was as honest as he could be. I think I have been wanting 'promises' and in reality? He can't give me any, just that he does promise he will talk to me and not hold anythig in, like he did before.... That's a start!!!! NOW, I am EXCITED!!!! :dance: :dance: :wave: :wave:

48 days!! I'm glad you talked. Thats the key to all of it! Just hang in there, everything will work out just fine. Stay strong!:D

48 days to go...soon you will be under the one month mark! :)

:yay::dance: 47 days left :clap::D I'm glad that he called the other day:yes: It's good that you guys are on the same page now...best of luck with the future!!! Keep your head up! Hugs:p
-Jackie

Hi!
I'm so glad your man called you! Your words sound much happier! I think everything will just fall into place, and ur just a little worrier like myself! :) Only 47 days to go! Keep busy and time will fly by! We're always here for you. :)

Deb, glad to hear you happy and excited!! :D 47 days to go, hang in there and keep your head up and your day will be here before you know it!!

I am REALLY excited!!!!!! :FB:...PSST: (Don't tell anyone) :) :) OK, OK, so I am officially crawling out of my skin.. I have been such a freak, BUT, I guess in my sub-concious (WOW check that big word out) LMAO I new we would be OK, after all I have been shopping for months...:) I even bought a second computer, telling myself, I would have 'back up' parts. LOL Yeah right, my girlfriend is using it but I am going to set him up a office space like mine in our second bedroom.. We can have 'our' computer room... LOL He will love it, He's as much a computer freak as I am. Oh guys this is almost too good to be true..

OMG I just looked at some of your guys dates...SHANES: are you not freaking? 4 days? Are you all ready? His favorite food? Got everythig shaved LMAO..(Couldn't resist that one).... DRAYS: 9 days??? Oh Lord you guys, I am so excited for all you!!! MONIQUE: 17 days????? YIKES>>>>BLONDIE: 13 days???? Have I been that caught up in my own stuff that I ignored you all so bad? I hope you can forgive me... You have all been so supportive!!! Looking back there is so many of us!!! This is so great!!! Sometimes I forget they do come home don't they??? I am praying for all of you..and here is a lil "ALMOST HOME' dance.. Thank you one and all!!!!!

:dance: :dance: :dance: :wave: :wave: :wave: :dance: :dance: :fb: :fb::fb: :dance: :wave: :wave: :wave: :dance: :wave: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :wave: :wave: :wave: :fb: :fb: :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :eek: :eek: :eek:

AWW:p I'm glad your sooo excited Deb:yes: I hope that you guys continue to do GOOD...and you both can just keep it moving past all the drama:yes: He'll be home in NO TIME!!! That's a good idea about the computer room for BOTH of you:D And since he loves computers, I know he'll LOVE it:yes: I know what you mean, whenever Dave and I really beef...I always no in the back on my mind that we'll be ok;) even when times are REAL bad between us!!! Don't worry about being caught up in your own stuff...it's completely understandable:) I'm just happy that you guys are doing good and your happy:yes: Best wishes!! Keep your head up! Hugs:p
-Jackie