I have noticed from the boards that there are several people on here who were working in the system when they fell in love with their man. Eventually they quit their jobs. In most of the cases, they were very unhappy with the job and the treatment of the inmates. I have read a few posts where the officer got to know some of the inmates but only started a relationship after the fact. Anyway...my question is this: How many ex-officers do we have on here that have fallen in love with an inmate?

Tracey

Hello, I am an ex c/o. We fell in love at the prison but nothing happened till I left. We are still together even though they put him in the hole, messed with our mail, and sliced my tires. That was almost two years ago. They still won't let us visit. We are very much in love and holding tight. He is up for parole in 2007 so we are hopeful that he will be able to come home then. For those that are curious I didn't get the job to find love. I was already planning to quit because of the crap I saw. I only held on as long as I did because I knew I wouldn't be allowed to see him once I quit. I was in a position to talk with him everyday. I miss that very much.

Ravenslove - you are one of the ones I knew about...and your story is so touching and beautiful. I wish you all the best.

Tracey

I was a co for 12 years. I worked with Robbie everyday we were very good friends but I never considered a relationship with him.....even though he told me that he loved me....everyday. I had been away from my job 3 years when he was released. He came to see me in person and told me that he had meant it.....He loved me......we are stil together. I'm not allowed to visit yet either and nothing ever happened on the job.

Thanks Red that means alot to us.

I am not an ex-co but I am an ex-employee inside a facility. I got into a relationship and lost my job as a result. I personally loved my job but that is a thing of the past. I am no longer with him but I have met a wonderful man who is also an inmate and we are doing just fine! He is the most amazing man I know.

I also was not a c/o but nurse that worked in the system. We are going strong and waiting on him to come home...I know other people who were c/o's who also got involved, it happens everyday, in every state, in every prison...we are human first and prison employees last...

Why don't they allow you to visit?

They won't let us visit. They say that we are a threat to the institution. Even though they most likely have been moved to a new prison. They look at us as traitors.

I have no problem including all prison employees to this poll - not just ex-officers. I think that it would be very hard to work around these people everyday and not get attached to several of them. It does not surprise me at all that the staff falls in love with the inmates. There are a lot of amazing men in there...

I was a c/ o for 8 yrs. I feel in love with my husband and quit also. Just like raven I am not allowed to visit either. But we are very much in love. he goes up for parole in may and even if it doesn't happen then he gets out in 22 months.

hi, i worked as a c/o for 4 in a half years. i quit as well, but they gave me a option. Why can't yall visit, because i know someone who is an ex c/o and she has visit someone and she did on the same unit she worked at. I hope i will be able to visit Jesse cause i miss him so much and just want to be able to talk to him without looking over my shoulder.

I worked as a CO for almost 3 years, never even thought about a relationship with anyone, I had a hit put out on me due to locking a inmate up for asking to have a relationship with me, and was put in the towers , well after a while I was brought down, now when your in a tower for 8 hours you can't leave for a break and your there for 5 days a week, with a AR15 and a Shotgun, you get to think and see and I realized what type of job I really had well now back on the ground I treated inmates the way I wanted to be treated I was respected and protected all I ever said was please and thankyou when I needed something done now I will say the inmates knew when I was not feeling good or mad the days that I worked, Now officers that I worked with started getting mad or jealous want ever you want to call it, I never had to worry about inmates stabbing me in the back, it was officers that would do it, anyhow while out on the yard, I talked with the one I am with now, never talked about personal things and always had another officer around, but after watching the officers, realizing the inmates are human also, and that either I join in with the abuse I saw or get out. One night while I stayed up in the officer station I watched 2 sgt and a officer ragged on a inmate wanting so bad to see him finch just once so they could use force on him, you know I really was proud of that inmate for the self control he showed, after they let him go back to sleep they came up and bragged about if only he had moved one finger what they would have done, I contacted my Capt. and told him what I saw I was told to shut up and that he could have my job so I got stuck in the towers again I think that was the best thing my capt could have done for me, well this time I watched and planned out my future of my own business and when the time was right I put in my 2 week notice in and quit and then waited a couple of months and wrote the inmate I am with now, yes even after I quit we both were put under investigation, I was told by the warden and inspector they looked up to me for quitting and waiting to have a realtionship with a inmate but I still broke the code that officers had so they started messing with him. after much writing to people for help,and asking questions here, he is no longer at that institution. It has been more then a year since I quite and we write and call, I will try to get on his visitation list, but I told him all we can do is pray, the funny part of all of this is we met a long time ago and I didn't remember him, it took his mother looking through old pictures to point that out

I wasn't a CO, but I was a Classification casemanager and I had over 300 offenders on my caseload. My husband and I met there. We were just friends at first and he NEVER put any moves on me. If he had, I would've dropped him like a hot rock! People got suspicious, but didn't have any real proof that we were writing each other, but when I got confronted, I admitted it. He got transferred and I got put on six months probation. Then IA decided I'd almost coimpleted my probation without a hitch so they decide to fabricate "evidence" and even wired an inmate (the inmate told me he had a wire on) plus another inmate came and told me that IA and the chaplain were trying to set me up by putting a wire on an inmate! I eventually quit that job, began seeing and writing him. We married the following year by proxy. That was almost twelve years ago and we're still together! It hasn't been easy by any means. Some people in this town that work or used to work for the prison system still don't forgive or forget. Others, the ones that are my true friends, don't mind at all. We've been thru lots of crap before and after he got released. He was released four years and one month ago. If anyone cares to hear more, I can fill your email up! JLH

I was a deputy that fell in love with a trustee and when he was released from prison we moved in together. He is now back in prison and according to the parole board will be released next month. That boy captured my heart from the moment I got on to him about his grey shirt (it was supposed to be white) and has held it ever since. I quit at the jail after before he went to prison the first time and we will marry the day he is released.

i wasn't an officer but i worked in the system and i quit when i fell in love. i left exactly 1 week after i knew we were serious, and even though i actually did like my job more than i disliked it, it wasn't worth him. and i don't regret not one decision. i didn't suffer any penalty, but that was probably because i quit as soon as i knew we were headed for trouble if i stayed lol.

I am a Ex-CO, only worked there about a year, not the job for me. So I quit, looked him up to let him know I was gone and we started writing, that was in 2001, as of July 2005 we are married, he is still at the same unit we met at, we are blessed to beable to have our visits, it took some letters and phone calles be we got them.

I was a counselor when we met..... that was 2 1/2 years ago. Hard to believe it's been so long..... hard to believe we're only half way home.
Anywho... I can't say yet how the end to our story will go. It's been trying for a multitude of reasons..... starting a relationship built on lies and deception hasn't worked in our favor yet..... it's still hard to forget sometimes what we went thru when I was still at the prison. Plus it's impossible to ignore all the DOC punishment that followed.
As for visitation... I too was barred.... until a week ago. Yeah!!! I have not seen him in a year and a half so I am dying to hold that man again! So why am I not there?!!? Well we're trying to figure out now if we want to split ways.... plus they approved me to visit him at the facility he was at... then low and behold, they moved him 3 days later. So not exactly what one might call fair play, but that would be the DOC for you!!

That is the basics.... feel free to ask if you want further details!

T.

A more interesting question would be "how many current Officers are in love with an inmate"

hello,
i am an ex/co....i...fell in love w/an man in the system....and i worked in the prison system for almost five yrs before i walked out and never looked back!!!!

I was a c/ o for 8 yrs. I feel in love with my husband and quit also. Just like raven I am not allowed to visit either. But we are very much in love. he goes up for parole in may and even if it doesn't happen then he gets out in 22 months.

Are you barred from ever visiting? Just wondering...in Kansas they impose a wait of 2 years if you were an employee.

Are you barred from ever visiting? Just wondering...in Kansas they impose a wait of 2 years if you were an employee.

I don't know were Timber is from but in Ohio they can screw with you as much as they want. I know one lady who fought for 3 years to see her man. So they could theoretically mess with us till it is time for him to be up for parole. Unlike Timbers' man. my man has a 40 year tail so it could be all bad should we raise to much hell. It looks more likely that he will be out in 2007, but the 40 years is possible.

They consider an ex employee to be a security threat. They also like to make you unhappy if at all possible for having a relationship of any kind with an offender. You are truly labeled and looked down upon!

All current employees need to know that internal affairs monitors this sight too!

Here in Texas they will do their best to keep you from visiting, there is an 24 month waiting period and after that you can put in to be considered, but if you were fired or if there is anything on your record that you where having a relationship ar even they throught your were then they will deny you everytime.

They tried to give me and Will a hard time, but since there was no relationship and I quit all they could do was keep losing the paperwork, it took us two months to get everything done.

aww LeeLee's i hope everything works out for you two! i don't hope ya'll split ways...i mean you've gone through alot for each other :(

here i don't see the barring happening too much. if you're lucky and get out with no scars...then you're pretty much welcome i suppose...

im an ex-co......fell in love with my husband on site!!!!!!! we've been together for ten yrs!!!!!

All current employees need to know that internal affairs monitors this sight too!
:eek: Dayum, talkin bout bein all up in the Kool-Aid!! :eek:

I worked for DOC for almost 2 years and like Aceinthehole, I never worried about the inmates stabbing me in the back, it was always the officers. I quit when I realized how in love with my man that I was, that it was more than a passing attraction. I was tired of feeling paranoid everytime that I was around him, trying to hide my feelings and not look at him THAT WAY. I didn't quit my job for him though, I quit for me. I would have never thought that I would have found love behind those walls and certainly never looked for it. I was damn good at my job, never let anything out of the way happen between us before I quit. And it hurt to leave knowing it'd be a long time before I could see him again. It's been 3 1/2 months and we have 2 1/2 more before I can even be considered for a visit. In NC, you have to wait at least 6 months before you can even apply for visitation and it can't be at the facility where you worked. Even though he's still at that facility, he now has his mediums and will be finished with the program that he's currently in in 2 months and his case manager says that he'll be shipped then. So I'm crossing my fingers and it's phone calls and letters til then. I know that some of the inmates know about our relationship and by now, some of the staff too, but they can have their opinions and judgements. I'm doing what makes me happy, with a man that has given up a lot to be with me, just like I have him. Honestly, I think that I fell in love with him the first time that I saw him & he says the same. He was so respectful when I was there, never coming at me the wrong way like most of those guys and that's one of the things that has drawn me to him. He comes home in July '07 as long as everything goes right til then, if not, his max is Feb '08. No matter what, we'll get there together. Like he says, it's me and him til the end and they can only keep us apart for so long.

Aceinthehole your story is almost a mirror of what happened with me except i didn't have any intimate relationship with an inmate. i firmly believe that they choose to target the females if you do your job and do it right. i made lots of lifetime friends during my career some staff and some inmates. i hold no regrets for walking away when "I" chose to do so.
i know that it pi**ed them off that i chose to resign and not endur any more of their BS. best move i ever made in my life.
i fully understand what you mean about having to worry more about the staff than the inmates. i to held alot of respect with the inmates and knew that i could not count on my co workers for much of anything. God has chosen my path for me and I shall follow.

God bless

I worked in the kitchen at the prison when I met my man. I even told myself time and time again that I would not fall for any of the inmates that it wasn't right but then I took one look at my man and could just feel a strong connection. It took a month before anything happened because he left the kitchen but I always looked for him every chance I got. It all happened when he came back to work in the kitchen. I eventually got walked for having contraband, he got sent to the hole for having a relationship with me. It took a month for us to reconnect after I lost my job but its been good ever since. I thought about quitting my job because of the officers but also I wanted to be able to see him everyday and that was nice. Now I may never get to see him while he is still at this prison but at least I have phone calls and letters. I have run into CO's since then and none of them hold it against me that I fell in love. In fact one of them told me that if he worked in a woman's prison he probably would have done the same thing. You just can't help who you fall in love with and I really believe that now.

I tip my hat to all of U! I guess it's true what has been said lv is were you find it!

I am not trying to down anyone, so don't think I am. I am going to try and word this to offend as few people as possible. I have worked in a maximum security male prison for 7 years now. I would never consider the idea. I do understand that you can't help who you fall in love with. I do understand that. But, there is a line I drew for myself when I hired on. I will not cross it. Maybe it is professionalism...pride...my own personal morals. I do respect those who got out once they realized they were having feelings. To them I say thank you. You realized what was happening and got out before putting anyone at risk. They did things the right way. Anyone who works in a prison and feels there is the remotest chance they might have feelings for an inmate...needs to get out. Period. They put us all at risk...inmates and officers alike. The ones that stay are the ones that make us all look bad...the unprofessional ones. I really have nothing for them. I work daily with administration and OIG to get rid of the officers having relationships and those bringing in contraband. I am thankful it is now a felony offense...maybe it will make people think twice. And bringing in contraband, well that is a whole other soap box. My apologies to any of the innocent bystanders (or those who did things the right way) that this might have offended. I just don't condone it and felt like voicing my view on the issue.

I thought that I was the least likely of any female to ever fall for an inmate. I worked Max for 5 years and transferred to a medium. Twenty days later that same month my man transferred in and we both knew there was a connection. I tried to transfer out to two other places but with no luck. I avoided him for 2 months, I took days off, I tried to get out of his unit, and all he could say was, "There's no use kicking and scratching". We've been together ever since I quit (5 yrs) and it has gotten worse with the MDOC as far as harrassment to the point where I just got off from a 90 day VR. But my man is an ordained minister and has all the faith in the world that they can't take our love. His whole world changed with this relationship and I believe that he is in prison and I worked there just so we could meet. Now all he's got to do is get out so that we can have a life.

I also wanted to add this for 30flat, don't be surprised if you find out someday that you are actually there to make a difference in someones life other than the everyday enforcing rules and earning a paycheck. Been there done it, happened, God's plan!

I will make my 'difference' my way, according to the rules and the law. It does not include, nor never will, establishing a relationship with an inmate. Treating them as human is one thing...a relationship is another. This is my way...Others, will see fit to do it their way. We all have our own morals and boundaries. Maybe mine are just a little more set in stone than others. Others are more comfortable with wavering than I am. Such is life. To each their own.

Let me just add...as mere humans, we can interpret the teachings of the bible however we see fit. For me, that does not include justifying my transgressions (whatever they may be) as anything other than human weakness. People can use "God's plan" to justify any actions...IMO.

I'am an x state employee I worked as a dental assistant for 5 years.I met a very special person and decided to get a job on the outside (private Dr).Just in case things progressed. and they have.But now since I sent my first set of pictures hes been locked up and transfered. I have not heard from him in almost 3 weeks. But I still write. I dont care. The reason I left there was to try and do everything by the books. and they still are F.cking with him. I am very upset and miss receiving his mail. I hope that once my year has passed of being an employee that I will be allowed to visit.

I hope you get your visits too. It's very sad that some people don't realize that we are here on earth for one thing and that is love. It is the one thing that many of these inmates never experienced in their life and why many are sitting right where they are. Good luck on your journey.

Reading your stories, reminds me of why I could have never taken a job in a prison, I was interviewed once for a admin job, but I turned it down. I would have gotten into too much trouble sympathizing with the inmates, not to mention probably falling for a few of them.

It's too bad that you all can't visit with your guys it seems silly now that you've all left your jobs. There must be something to your relationships if you're still hanging there, so more power to you all.

I give the upmost respect to all of you for your courage there are alot of cowards out there in this world that wouldn't ever admit to loving an inmate while on the job. But the truth is the light and I give all of the upmost RESPECT. I was going to be a CO I am glad I didn't my honey means the world to me and some CO's are so cruel. Thank the Lord for the Truthful ones that Love their mates that much.

I guess you believe what you said and you if you know about God he can fix your ways and believe me you may fall for an inmate just to be put in a situation to understand some of the people that have been in that situation and didn't do the right thing. I am not working for the system at all I just believe some of us shouldn't say things that may happen even if you are a strong person GOD can change it all. This is just a note because I said alot of things I would never do but I have did or I am doing now so I will never say never and I didn't realize it till later after things was said and done. Sorry had to add a reply to that.

Thank you Blessedwayne for understanding because most people dont and I can understand that too because I never did either until it happened to me. My family doesnt even understand it to this day and there is absolutely no support there. I remember asking my man what kind of a woman would do such a thing and his reply was, "a very caring one." My man has spent half his life locked up because as he says he just didnt care. Now he cares very deeply and is trying to do all the right things. Love can change a life. He wrote a book called, "Spiritual Awakening", got ordained, got his Doctor of Divinity and Doctor of Motivation. Wouldn't anyone rather see an inmate preparing himself for the world in a good productive way than getting harder and worse in prison so when he hits the streets like Selepak he is dangerous to all? I believe that 30Flat is a very good officer, knowledgable and there to do the job and I respect that because there needs to be more that do their job but theres not one of him/her that put a dent in my mans pattern of thinking after all those years. I can recall going into the job thinking if I could just help change one persons ways and they came out a better person than I did my job, but I had no idea it was going to happen this way. So I know it's a God thing because I had no intention of doing it with love.

Oh, and one last thing, I also was professional, had pride and morals and had boundaries too. I did alot of sacrificing because you have to make a choice between a $45,000 a yaer job with all the state benefits or love. Not to mention all of the other things I sacrificed. And yes, if I didnt say it earlier we are a mixed couple and by some that is bad. Then there is the ex-officer thing which some may look at I guess as a traitor so we get alot of flack on visits. So it does take alot of courage which my man has alot of and its rubbing off on me as we grow together as one.

:eek: Maybe a few work out. Don't know for how long they last. Mostly what I came across was using. One inmate must have been going for a record on how many CO's she could take out. Didn't matter the sex, either. One officer had a regular brothel set up on the Murry Unit, Tx.. Went to trial but he got off real easy. I found out about one relationship on Gatesville Unit and just because of my knowledge the inmate tried to set me up for bringing in drugs (which I didn't). I didn't like to see inmates used by officers and wanted officers gone that were guilty. Inmates usually told me when there was a problem but it was hard to do something about it and not get crossed out yourself. Male officers are useless on a female unit as are some female officers. Only cause problems. But good in use of force. Very few who I trusted to have my back.

An old Gatesville Unit:blah: Officer (retired )

Gatesville Unit - The Armpit of the Texas System

You just can't help who you fall in love with and I really believe that now.

This is soooo true.

i wasn't an officer but i worked in the system and i quit when i fell in love. i left exactly 1 week after i knew we were serious, and even though i actually did like my job more than i disliked it, it wasn't worth him. and i don't regret not one decision. i didn't suffer any penalty, but that was probably because i quit as soon as i knew we were headed for trouble if i stayed lol.

You probably saved yourself from a lot of grief by leaving as soon as you did. I was not a c.o. but worked alongside someone somewhat special. A relationship was not (and is not) in the cards for us. When I left, I told him that if he ever transferred - which is what he waited on for so long - that I would be in touch. Well, it was one of the longest transfers I have ever seen - he was moved after two years! I wrote - he wrote back and we have been writing for about a year and a half.

The thing that kills me is that you can be an ex felon and visit but in Ohio you can't be an ex c/o. I agree with Michela c/o's can't change an inmate but a loved one can.

okay my questions to these ladies is. Is it the men that approach or yourselves? And to the ones that are dirty do they ever get turned down for whatever reason do they persue? And has being with an inmate ever come accross your mind before this? I was gonna work for this department but my brother was against it said I would fall in love too easy. And did anyways but not as an employee. (smile)

My questions are not offend anyone just curious. Know what I jelly bean?

I can't answer for all of us but in my case I felt intense longing at first sight. In my case I did not know he was an inmate at the time I met him. He says it was love at first site. I just knew that I was meant to be with that man. It wasn't till the next morning I knew he was an inmate. We both avoided each other as much as we could. It was impossible with our assignments. After about a month of trying to avoid each other. He went on a quest and I was at a pow wow. Both of us saw our future together. I quit and we started writing each other. So to say who made the first move is hard. We both did. I am one of those that never thought I would be with a convict. Far from it I was a cop for 10 years before becoming a c/o. My ex husband was a police officer also. Never in a million years would I consider being with a convict. The Great Spirit had other ideas. He sent me the most precious man in the world. My heart and my soul.
I don't understand your question about pursuing. and not offended.

I understand why women get upset with c/o's who fall in love with convicts. But my man was alone for 12 years while inside and would still be if a c/o hadn't fallen in love with him.

We have been going strong against all opposition for 2 1/2 years.

no offense taken and I hope I have given you a little insight to the way some c/o's feel.

I will answer your questions first from what I saw then my situation. Most of the time it is the men that come at you. While I was working there I had alot of guys try to go there with me, but I wasnt feeling them, just kinda brushed them off and kept going. I have seen some that got turned in, turn around and try to get the CO in trouble because she didnt want him, some will just keep at it till they break her down and get her, it can start small and get bigger. Nope, not like this, I have a play brother that has been locked up for years and over the years I have had a few pen pals thru him, but nothing like what I have with my husband.
Now my situation, my now husband never came at me like the others did, me and him were cool, he did let me know that he liked me and that someday I would be his wife, but that was it. He never asked me for anything. He just seemed different from the others. So when I quit I wrote him to let him know I had quit and we ended up staying in touch, we build a friendship first then it became more. Even when I started writing him, I wrote to let him now I was alright, cause I just kinda quit, no one saw it comming, and I wanted to let him know that I was alright and to find out how he was doing.

okay my questions to these ladies is. Is it the men that approach or yourselves? And to the ones that are dirty do they ever get turned down for whatever reason do they persue? And has being with an inmate ever come accross your mind before this? I was gonna work for this department but my brother was against it said I would fall in love too easy. And did anyways but not as an employee. (smile)

My questions are not offend anyone just curious. Know what I jelly bean?

well...from my experience, it is usually the inmate that approaches the worker. not always, but i see the inmates making moves more than i see the workers doing it. my hubby approached me first. i had noticed him because he noticed ME. we stayed away from each other for a few months, and then one day he managed to slip into the area that i worked. over the course of a few months he began to subtly let me know he was interested. it took him a long time to make me think he was serious and even longer to decide if a relationship with him was worth the things i had to lose. when i realized that i too had fallen in love, i quit. before being with him, i was open to the idea of dating someone in prison in the past, but had decided that i really wanted NOT to be in ANY relationship, prison oriented or not. i was not AGAINST being with an inmate however. i dont understand the dirty part of your post, but no offense taken to your questions at all.

Most of these ladies have it right. It is almost always the inmate that initiates any relationship. My situation was like Willsgirl. We were always cool, but he didn't push up on me or be in my face all of the time like the others. And yet, he made his feelings known that one day, I would leave the guy that I was with for him and we would be married one day. I tell him all the time that it was that cocky attitude that made my mind up, but he says that it was just inevitable. I quit my job when I realized that he was who I truly wanted to be with, somebody that I could spend the rest of my life with. I was good at my job, and I knew that I made a difference in some of those guys ways of thinking, but I know that I had to do what was going to make me happy in the long run, and he does that.

I'm glad all of you are happy and I also respect that you all waited untill you were no longer employed there to act on your emontions.:thumbsup:

I was a food service supervisor for 5 1/2 years. I can't begin to tell you the hell I went through. I quit my job while under investigation for overfamiliarity. My stellar man had been "ridden out" four months prior to me being investigated. Some guys knew I was writing him and tried to blackmail me into illegal activities for their silence. I don't do those kinds of things for anyone or anything. So they sent a "kite" to the inspectors. They in turn ransacked my honey's cell and found the typed letters I wrote. I had to get an attorney because they said they were going to prosecute me for sex and drugs. It was such a nightmare. I thought for sure everyone that knew me would see the stupidity in their accusations. I dont even drink, nor am I a loose woman by anyones standards. But to my shock and horror, not only did people believe it, but they added their own stories. I thought so many people cared about me and they turned on me . I had a small handful that stayed by my side. The state investigators were willing to "work" with Alton, (my baby) for testimony against me. They didnt care if it was the truth or not. He stood solid and eventually they dropped the investigation. Then my attorney told me I could finally write him. Then several months later we were allowed to visit. No people don't support my decision to be with a convict and race is always brought up also. They tell me he is using me....... I'm sure all of you know the script. But if he was using me he missed the boat because he could have lied and gained all kinds of favors and such for testifying against me. It was a nightmare and I have few friends now. But they are quality. And I have a man that I adore and that adores me. I too hated the way the d.o.c. employees were allowed to treat human beings. There are some good officers, that are fair and solid, but not nearly enough. Some are more corrupt than the inmates, some have major power issues, and some are like me. I never intended to find love this way. It is so difficult some times and he is in for ten more years until his first out date. I love him and I will stand by his side like he stood by mine. Thats my story. Now I battle with jobs, money issues associated with the department. (They financially rape the friends and families of inmates with the phone and store prices etc...) Thanks for listening.
Cindy

I worked as a commissary clerk at countyjail. every day I got letters passed to me from inmates. when I walked through they started beating on the windows,yelling, you name it. My trustee called them my groupies. I stayed in trouble, my clothes, talking to inmates you name it. I was put on a type probation cuz i was told I had to be a bitch or I wouldnt make it. anyway I started a relationship with a inmate. we stayed together for abt a year, but I did get fired because of him and was not allowed to visit him either. Found out later he was just a user and felt stupid for ever getting involved with him.

I too hated the way the d.o.c. employees were allowed to treat human beings. There are some good officers, that are fair and solid, but not nearly enough. Some are more corrupt than the inmates, some have major power issues, and some are like me. I never intended to find love this way.


I read this part of your post and just HAD to reply! I worked in a facility here in NY in a civilian position. The other civilians were married to CO's who brought that hating inmate mentality into the office day after day. If they saw you talking to any of the inmates there were accusations and innuendos but it was always okay for them to do it. They treated these poor guys like absolute dirt. When I went into the facility I went in with the belief that I was not to judge any of the inmates because I didnt live their lives. I decided to leave DOCS because I wasn't going to give into the majority of the haters. I havent regretted it since. :)

I walked away from 18 years in the system. Haven't regretted it one moment. Will never be allowed to visit, but letters and phone calls keep us going. And I SWORE I could never, ever look at an inmate in that way.

Welcome floydsbaby, Been there and still doing it.

Thanks for the welcome. Every day is a struggle, but well worth it.

I don't know how I've missed this thread...but ditto to my story. We met, had no clue what we felt (I know I felt we were like best friends) and that was starting to worry me. I was definitely a person that said "an inmate, are you for real?" Long story short b/c a few of these read just like mine, an allegation was made (I guess??) and I was questioned over and over. He was transferred immediately when the allegation or whatever happened. I left the department and have never regretted it for one moment. It has been rough and I still have lots of friends who work there. I can't change people's feelings or attitudes...I can only live my life. I know the truth and that is the important thing, as far as I'm concerned. They finally, (I guess??) after 2 years, have given up looking for something that simply didn't happen. I have moved on professionally but the scars they left and the damage they did to me and my family can never be returned. We are fine and I love this man like crazy. I really had to realize you will NEVER convince some people of certain things NO MATTER what...so either live your life for you or let them take you down. Most of the "haters" are miserable in their lives and the old addage...Misery loves company is TRUE! That is not meaning offense to anyone...it is how I feel. :yes:

I forgot one thing...I hope investigators, state officials, whomever, reads this and will realize, I did the right thing but it got me nothing but misery and harm. I would do it all over again b/c what I did was not wrong or harmful since I left when I realized what I felt.

BIG UPS TO ALL OF YOU B/C IT IS TOUGH AND WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD CHOOSE THIS LIFE IF IT WAS NOT FOR LOVE??

Thanks for the welcome. Every day is a struggle, but well worth it.

Exactly...if you didn't TRULY care, would you honestly keep this relationship going??? And wouldn't it be easier to walk away... well, that is what they hope you will do.

I say if it's what you feel and what you think is meant to be, live your life FOR YOU. My guy always says to me:

"They can only have control, or take away something, if YOU allow them to do it!"

GOOD LUCK! :thumbsup:

In my situation, my baby begged the investigators to let it go. So far (knock on wood) they have. They tried to get him to say that I brought crap in for him, but he knew the truth and stuck with it. He is the light of my life.

In my situation, my baby begged the investigators to let it go. So far (knock on wood) they have. They tried to get him to say that I brought crap in for him, but he knew the truth and stuck with it. He is the light of my life.

Same here...they offered him the world but he handed it back to them!

They kept telling Floyd that he was the "victim". So now he tells me he feels so used and dirty. :rolleyes: :D

They always try to get them to roll. They will still put them in seg either way.

I met my fiance while i was a CO at his facility. After they found out about us they gave me the option to resign and I did. They locked him down foe 35 days then shipped him as far away as they could. I visited him for the first time 3 weeks ago and it was wonderful. I will be going back next week-end. They also told both of us alot of lies about each other.we did not believe any of it.

I was also a c/o in a private prision who was eventually involved with an inmate, I dont have to elaborate on the issues that really go on because everyone else did, but they messed with us bad when he was taken to the hole and they found my pictures in his cell that I had another c/o take to him. Then he had a bunch of tats with my name, my kids names, my b-date on him it was a real big deal, he then transfered four months later and we were able to visit no problem, they had no clue that I had worked as a c/o. I am very lucky. One of my friends that I worked with at the private facility just got caught up taking an inmate stuff and shes now facing charges, its crazy, its all in who you know.

Kapri and I aren't together right now, but still talk and write. I still care deeply for him and can't say for sure that things won't work out when he comes home next year, but for now, I need this time apart. J's ladee, you were lucky about the visits. Mine have been denied indefinately, even though I never got in trouble for anything and quit voluntairily for another job. They have denied me to visit any inmate in DOC except immediate family (which I have none incarcerated), even friends that were never at my facility. But I guess that what happens when you try to do the right thing and be honest on your visitation application.

Yes I have learned that honesty doesn't pay when your talking about ex c/o's and visitation. Three years, three institutions and still no visits.

i give everyone props for their honesty, but if people don't ask, i don't tell. this is why i left ASAP...i KNEW i would eventually get busted for SOMETHING if i didn't go. so i had to decide...job or love...and i chose love. haven't regretted it since. the DOC has been and still is very good to me.

Wow, this is really great that these men were able to find love of you all on the inside. Just because a man is in prison do not mean he have to be lonely. Women do come into the prison plus a fella could always ask a guy who's got a girl do she got a friend. And, there's the penpals. I mean just because a man is in prison don't mean he have to be womanless. If he got some skills, he can get himself somebody. This is the land of opportunity and I am glad that you ladies had the opportunity to meet the loves of your lives.

I'm still trying to figure this visit thing though. I know it varies state to state but basically I think it's if you quit on your own you can visit when you want, may prefer if he moves to a different facility. If they ask you to resign then you gotta wait 2 years and if they fire you you may never be able to visit? :confused:

Best wishes to all of us because with you ladies on this side of the fense, that makes you part of what makes up us!! :o

Right HeSo, it really depends on how the state handles it, here in Texas even if you quit you still have to wait 2 years, but you do stand a better chance of getting approved. I read somewhere that, some states wont let you visit if you didnt know them before they went in.

Anyway they can continue to take from them they will

I worked in corrections for 13 years before going back to university. During those wonderful years, not only did I meet some of the most wonderful people of my life but, because I had developed an excellent relationship with the inmate population, I felt protected by them and I knew that some of the largest men I have ever met were watching my back and that they would never allow anyone to touch me. Oddly enough, I did not have the same confidence in many of my colleagues who truly hated the fact that I got along so well with the inmates. At the same time, I don't think I would have had the nerve to allow myself to get into a relationship with any of them. The inmate population is unbelievably perceptive and they certainly "had my number" from the first day I worked at the institution. Fortunately, they had enough respect for me as a professional that none of them ever put me in that position.

Mrjustice, Does the last sentence of your post mean that you think that that inmates that some of us fell in love with didn't respect us? It's all nice until the last sentence.

MrJustice your right, they already know what kind of officer you will be when you step up in there. We were told that it is easier to go from hard to easy then from easy to hard, you just have to have a balance, only allow what is allowing and do it for everyone dont make a differnece.

michela-I dont think he meant it that way, but I will say if he asked you to do anything that was against the rules, then I was say yes that is a lack of respect.

There is nothing wrong with falling in love with an inmate, but it all comes down to how you handle it.

I too was 'respected' by all the inmates and they protected me for years... even the Love of my life (who I didn't know was there and when i did, I didn't tell as I was shocked that he was there and we had met before he was in AND we knew each other in a different state... life is funny and tragic for sure), I lost my job (I did love my job, but it was just a job) we were able to marry within 6 months, now I have to do the waitinig game to see him again... he will surprise me, He ALWAYS has :-)
Never in either of our wildest imaginations would he have thought I would show up working there, or me--- seeing Him there as an i/m!!!!!!!!! God has a plan for us all no matter what we think :-)

Up until yesterday, I was a C/O. I was walked out for false accusations. They said that I had a black (I am NOT racist) inmate that was claiming he had sexual contact with me on several occasions. Funny thing is, the man I fell in love with is Mexican! :) While on the job, I never did anything with him. I wanted to quit for quite some time before this all happened, but I knew once I quit I wouldn't see him again until he gets out in April 2007. Now I'm in limbo - can I write him? I miss him SO much, and I want him to know that I'm serious about us. We had talked on several occassions about us - he says he loves me, and I know I love him. We had an instant connection. But, I don't want to get him in any trouble ... is there a possible way for us to communicate? Is it safe to write him now since I'm no longer with the company even though I was walked or will that make him look bad? Any suggestions? I'd appreciate any responses! Thanks!!

Up until yesterday, I was a C/O. I was walked out for false accusations. They said that I had a black (I am NOT racist) inmate that was claiming he had sexual contact with me on several occasions. Funny thing is, the man I fell in love with is Mexican! :) While on the job, I never did anything with him. I wanted to quit for quite some time before this all happened, but I knew once I quit I wouldn't see him again until he gets out in April 2007. Now I'm in limbo - can I write him? I miss him SO much, and I want him to know that I'm serious about us. We had talked on several occassions about us - he says he loves me, and I know I love him. We had an instant connection. But, I don't want to get him in any trouble ... is there a possible way for us to communicate? Is it safe to write him now since I'm no longer with the company even though I was walked or will that make him look bad? Any suggestions? I'd appreciate any responses! Thanks!!

I was a CO for five years, and the first 4 years I would have never dreamed of becoming involved with an inmate much less falling in love. I was very good at my job, I respected the inmates and they respected me, and when other officers couldn't get an inmate to do something, they would always do it for me, simply because I was fair. Well about a year ago I got assigned to a Recreation detail, and I had 3 inmates who worked for me, we were all together for a large part of the day everyday. And we all had a good time, and did what we were supposed to be doing, but also we got to know each other, and 1 of them told me one day that when he got out he was coming back for me, and I thought he was joking. Well time went on and some afternoons I'd only take him out to the gym to clean and put up equipment, and we got really close. He kept saying I know you think I'm joking but I'm serious. He told me he loved me and he was for real. And then one day we were locking up and we were standing in a doorway and he kissed me, and I couldn't deny it anymore, that I felt the same about him, but I had tried so hard not to. We never did anything more than kiss and write letters, but we were getting too close to being caught. I got fired from my detail and put back on shift, and they locked him down, but had to let him back out 4 days later because he wasn't talking and they had no proof. I decided that rather than continue on under the spotlight of being caught, I was just quit and write and he gets out in May so, it's only 8 months apart. I know that it had to be fate that we met, Because he was the only inmate that I would have ever considered becoming involved with. And I truly believe that things will only get better once we are together in the free world.

Why come you Co's can't keep your business to yourself? Why do the entire prison system have know your business?( that you are in love with an inmate when you know the rules already) And knowing that it will cause the man to put in the hole and every other dehumanizing thing- why do you have to announce it- your affair? Why do you all act with such stupidity?

apf2489, what kind of charge do he have that brought him to prison originally? Where was the man you had at home?

Why come you Co's can't keep your business to yourself? Why do the entire prison system have know your business?( that you are in love with an inmate when you know the rules already) And knowing that it will cause the man to put in the hole and every other dehumanizing thing- why do you have to announce it- your affair? Why do you all act with such stupidity?

The title of the thread is ex c/o's and their relationships thats why we are telling our story. Are you a c/o if not then I don't think you have a story for this thread. There are many of us that have fallin in love with their men while they were working. Non of us started out looking for men in prison it was just the way things turned out. By the way c/o bashing is not allowed at PTO.

Why come you Co's can't keep your business to yourself? Why do the entire prison system have know your business?( that you are in love with an inmate when you know the rules already) And knowing that it will cause the man to put in the hole and every other dehumanizing thing- why do you have to announce it- your affair? Why do you all act with such stupidity?

First of all we are Ex-COs, meaning we no longer work there, so we have has much right to share our stories as well as everyone else here. I for one really dont care what the prison system think or have to say about my relationship, cause for one it is my relationship. And we didnt break the rules, how about you find out whats real before you come talking about something you know nothing about. If you would have read it you will see most of us were already gone before the relationship became a relationship.
So next time ask some questions first.

First off...this is a support forum for the family/friends/loved ones of inmates...where else would she talk about her man? It seems perfectly logical that she would tell her story here...amongst others that understand loving an inmate. I am going to have to go with Ravenslove on this and just say that there is no CO bashing on PTO. Seeing as the title of the thread is Ex-officers and relationships...I think them talking about their relationships is perfectly legit.

His charges have nothing to do with this thread. What purpose does it serve asking about them? What is the relevance to the topic? I also don't recall her mentioning any man at home. Yet again...what is the relevance? Easy answer...there is none. I don't understand the need for disrespect and anger directed at other members on a support forum. Even though I am not in their shoes, I find it disrespectful and offensive.

First off...this is a support forum for the family/friends/loved ones of inmates...where else would she talk about her man? It seems perfectly logical that she would tell her story here...amongst others that understand loving an inmate. I am going to have to go with Ravenslove on this and just say that there is no CO bashing on PTO. Seeing as the title of the thread is Ex-officers and relationships...I think them talking about their relationships is perfectly legit.

His charges have nothing to do with this thread. What purpose does it serve asking about them? What is the relevance to the topic? I also don't recall her mentioning any man at home. Yet again...what is the relevance? Easy answer...there is none. I don't understand the need for disrespect and anger directed at other members on a support forum. Even though I am not in their shoes, I find it disrespectful and offensive.

:thumbsup: I second

It's obvious that she has no idea what she is talking about. or even how to say it. Thanks 30 flat for the kind words. Will's girl Sometimes people don't get it.

I noticed that.

Why come you Co's can't keep your business to yourself? Why do the entire prison system have know your business?( that you are in love with an inmate when you know the rules already) And knowing that it will cause the man to put in the hole and every other dehumanizing thing- why do you have to announce it- your affair? Why do you all act with such stupidity?

I kept my business to myself, however other inmates know about stuff like this, and it is ultimately them who make it a problem. And his charges have nothing to do with any of it. And I'm unsure what having a man at home has to do with anything in this thread.

I could be wrong, but it seems like some people see the co's as a threat. They might be afraid that their man will "fall for" a CO. That's what it seems like to me, because alot of people are incredibly defensive and sensitive when CO's post around here. It's one thing if you have an honest question about the CO's, but you could ask it a little more respectfully.

MWI--that would include a CO who met an inmate while inside. The CO's have as much right to be here and be respected as anybody else does, IMHO.

You know, this is all very new to me, and I found this website thinking that everyone was welcome, I guess I was wrong. And if you have never spent time on the inside, you have absolutely NO CLUE, what really goes on, and how things really happen. And I didn't force this man to do anything, he knew the risks and chose to take them, and he already knew that going to the hole is a risk you take. So, I'm not sure what every other dehumanizing thing you are referring to, but believe this, if it weren't worth it to him to risk it, then he wouldn't have, and vice versa. Maybe you need to get some insight into the reality of this topic, and not just make accusatory statements when you know nothing about each individuals situation. Certainly you wouldn't want it done to you, and those you love. Are you somehow better than me for having a loved one in prison but you know them from a different aspect of your life? No, you are not.

Ni Apf, you are very right, you are welcome, you did come to the right place! PTO is here to give you support. But like everywhere else in life there can be people that are not always nice or don't think before they speak or speak when they don't have all their facts straight. There are many, many good supportive people here at PTO please don't let a few negative people discourage you! And again, Welcome to PTO! :)

I was a co for 6 yrs. before I met Joker. He was my working man on the tier. My other working man kept telling me that someone in the dorm has a crush on me. I was like yeah what ever I don't even get down like that. That could have been the worst mistake I ever made. Ehen he told me who it was I real pumped. Then he started talking to me and one thing lead to another. Then there was a jealous co who I went to school with and thought she was my best friend who told on me. I never said anything to herabout it, she just made her assumptions. They fired me of course because they went through my phone records and seen I had jail calls. They started harrasing him and everything. Shaking down his cell looking for mail from me. Well that was 3yrs. ago and we are still going strong. The only regret I have is none.

I'll tell you all, my fiance told me he would not have changed a thing. He did end up spending 35 days in the hole after they found out about us and he said he would do it all over again. He loves me and he said there was nothing they could do to change that. After 35 days they finally shipped him, now I do get to see him when I can afford to make the trip.

I am truely sorry for those of you who do not get to visit your loved one. I know that must be very difficult for you. Hopefully in time that will change for you.

I would also like to say thanks to those of you trying to defend us former CO's. I do realize that alot of women see us as a threat, but in most cases there is no reason for it.

I told Raven what Anita Fox said so eloquently after we stopped laughing he said and I quote " Look I spent 4 months in the hole and I wouldn't change one single minute if it meant I wouldn't have you to love. You are worth everything" Gosh I love that man.

If was a officer I would feel kinda of uncomfortable dating a inmate.I can understand you cannot help who you fall in love with,but I think you have to use your head as well and try not to fall in love so easily.my sister was a corrections officer and she talked about how the guys were so sweet and say sweet things.of course some are going to say sweet things because they really have nobody to show them any love once they get in prison.but when they get out from what I hear the story is all together different.did you ever consider that this is only going to last in the prison.what about when he gets out.remember now he been in prison for some time,so more then likely he is going to want to see what else is out there.you been around the inmate all that time of course their going to want some loving because you are all they see.but what about when they get out and see all these other women.what then.that is what I question.

Havefaith7,
Is your man in prison? If so, what do you think is going to happen when he gets out of prison?

Exactly, Michela!!

It really all depends on the people involved. I have NO doubts whatsoever regarding the love my Husband and I have for each other or how it will be when he comes home. It all depends on the people involved and what their souls are all about. :-)

First off I didn't fall in love easily. Both he and I were aware of the problems of being in love with the other side. As for what happens when he comes home I trust him in what he says and that our love is true. The other side of that is I was married before to a man on the outside who promised to love and honor. He should have promised to love and honor till someone else came along. Men can be faithful both in and out or they can cheat in and out. Only time will tell.


If was a officer I would feel kinda of uncomfortable dating a inmate.I can understand you cannot help who you fall in love with,but I think you have to use your head as well and try not to fall in love so easily.my sister was a corrections officer and she talked about how the guys were so sweet and say sweet things.of course some are going to say sweet things because they really have nobody to show them any love once they get in prison.but when they get out from what I hear the story is all together different.did you ever consider that this is only going to last in the prison.what about when he gets out.remember now he been in prison for some time,so more then likely he is going to want to see what else is out there.you been around the inmate all that time of course their going to want some loving because you are all they see.but what about when they get out and see all these other women.what then.that is what I question.

Havefaith7,
Is your man in prison? If so, what do you think is going to happen when he gets out of prison?My man is not in prison.I have a friend in prison.if I offended you sorry but I like to speak my mind.Im just stating what I was told by a ex-corrections officer herself who worked around some of the guys.also watching Judge Mathis show he even mentioned that.I can see if you already was in a relationship with the person before they were in prison.I can understand that.but you are officer and going after a inmate does not look cute.my opinion.sorry if you nobody likes.

You can speak your mind all you want but I'll remind you just like anybody else that comes her that this is a support group for inmates and their loved ones. I see you are new and it's nice if people that don't have anything good to say just bypass the thread and move on to something else. I just happened to notice that this seemed to be the only thread that caught your interest. I don't know how long your friend has been down but hopefully he has someone to love him. Many don't in there and I would think that would be foremost on peoples minds than judging someone who gives the gift of love to an inmate.

If was a officer I would feel kinda of uncomfortable dating a inmate.I can understand you cannot help who you fall in love with,but I think you have to use your head as well and try not to fall in love so easily.my sister was a corrections officer and she talked about how the guys were so sweet and say sweet things.of course some are going to say sweet things because they really have nobody to show them any love once they get in prison.but when they get out from what I hear the story is all together different.did you ever consider that this is only going to last in the prison.what about when he gets out.remember now he been in prison for some time,so more then likely he is going to want to see what else is out there.you been around the inmate all that time of course their going to want some loving because you are all they see.but what about when they get out and see all these other women.what then.that is what I question.

You have a right to your opinion, but you have to remember that all relationships are different, it is easy to say what you wouldnt do if you have never been in the situation. Even though it doesnt matter, my husband has had his families support the whole time he has been locked up, so he is far from just needing love, You also need to remember you dont know any of our men so you cant just say what they will most likely do once they come home. And since you are not in our relationship you really cant question them, that is up to us to qustion and I know for myself I have never questioned it and never will.
Thank you have a blessed day

My man is not in prison.I have a friend in prison.if I offended you sorry but I like to speak my mind.Im just stating what I was told by a ex-corrections officer herself who worked around some of the guys.also watching Judge Mathis show he even mentioned that.I can see if you already was in a relationship with the person before they were in prison.I can understand that.but you are officer and going after a inmate does not look cute.my opinion.sorry if you nobody likes.

There you go again, making assumptions, how do you know how our relationships started, there is nothing wrong with speaking your mind, but you should at least know something about the subject you are speaking on. Try to get the facts first, maybe ask some question, get an understanding first.

If was a officer I would feel kinda of uncomfortable dating a inmate.I can understand you cannot help who you fall in love with,but I think you have to use your head as well and try not to fall in love so easily.my sister was a corrections officer and she talked about how the guys were so sweet and say sweet things.of course some are going to say sweet things because they really have nobody to show them any love once they get in prison.but when they get out from what I hear the story is all together different.did you ever consider that this is only going to last in the prison.what about when he gets out.remember now he been in prison for some time,so more then likely he is going to want to see what else is out there.you been around the inmate all that time of course their going to want some loving because you are all they see.but what about when they get out and see all these other women.what then.that is what I question.

Of course there are inmates who tell officers what ever they want to hear, trying to get something, there is a large number of those, i can say with absolute certainty, that every ex CO was approached by at least 1 inmate trying that. From reading a lot of posts here, I believe that the majority of the ex co's are like me, never dreamed they would fall for an inmate, always did there jobs, and didn't get sweet talked into somethin, and didn't go looking for a man on the job. And it is quite clear from some of the comments you have made that you have absolutely no clue what life is like in prison, or what its like to work on the inside. Which that is not your fault, but I believe the ex officers here can vouch for the fact that, if u work in the system long enough, you are enough convicts long enough, you know, who's real, and who is blowing smoke. The officers that get caught up with the sweet talkers, and not those of us who have something real. And I firmly believe the ladies on this board weren't taken for a ride, but found something real. Also you have to think about this, if you were around hundreds of men everyday, do you really think that if you got to know them that it's not such a giant leap that you would in fact fall for one of them. Because when you work with these men, you do get to know them, it IS part of the job. I think that is a fact that people fail to realize when talking trash about us finding love inside. I would like to challenge anyone to be around the same men, day in and day out, over a period of time, and never feel anything. But I can honestly say that over 5 years i met only 1 inmate out of over a thousand that I even trusted enough to talk about being together, can you say the same of your free world experiences?

Just one more thing, what you saw on judge mathis?? come on are you kidding me with this? you really really have NO clue what its like on the inside.

Judge not lest ye be judged.

Too funny...I was going to bring up the Judge Mathis thing. Watching the TV court shows is kind of like watching Jerry Springer...very entertaining, but not everything you see is true...a lot is just for ratings. Imagine.

Having worked in corrections myself for many years, I fail to see what possible business it is of your former colleagues. If you were sexually involved with an inmate while you worked there or, God forbid, brought stuff into the institution for him I might see their concern. But that was not the case. Ignore them. They're ignorant people who really need to get a life of their own and leave yours alone. Good for you for having the gutts to grab a bit of love when it was offerred to you. I just wish I had had the nerve to do it when I had the opportunity.

I worked in corrections for about 2 years; not as a CO but in the mental health dept as a teacher. I swore that I would never ever fall for an inmate. From day one employees of the DOC have it pounded into their heads that you never believe a word an inmate says, that their main goal is to play whomever they can, and that those that do fall for an inmate should be tarred and feathered or at least hung at high noon. I will admit that I believed what I was told and tried really hard to treat each and every inmate that I came into contact with in a very professional manner while keeping my bs meter turned on high. I even doubted that I would ever fall in love with a free world man because I was becoming so suspicious of everything anyone said to me. However, this all changed rather quickly when I met the love of my life. Mind you I wasn't looking for love and fought my feelings every step of the way. But, I knew the moment I looked into Jason's eyes that we were meant to be together. He and I both were scared and cautious but felt the risks were worth it. Unfortunately I didn't quit the second I knew I was in love with him and to make a long story short I was investigated by IA and subsequently fired for having an inapprorpiate romantic relationship with an inmate. We never had sex nor did he ever ask me to bring him anything. We wrote letters and talked on the phone 2 times. I wish I had quit the day I knew I loved him but I can't change the past. Now I am dealing with the consequences, but I would not change having met Jason for all the money in the world. I love that man with all of my heart and I feel he loves me the same. I hate the judgemental attitudes I have encountered since all this has happened but I can't control what others think or feel about me so I don't worry myself with their small mindedness. I just thank God everyday for leading me to my soul mate. There are so many things worse than being an inmate; can any of us honestly say that we have never done something that could have landed us in the same situation? There but for the grace of God go I.

"Jason" Our stories are similar except I worked in Medical. Are you able to visit? Some former employees are, some are not. I haven't learned the meaning to GDC's madness yet nor will I ever--except it is political and corrupt. I never thought I would have fallen in love either because of the same "they are the enemy" mentality we were "taught". However, I have a diamond in the rough and I love him. This is a tough life, but our love is even stronger for it. PM me anytime.

I haven't told this story because, frankly, I didn't know who to tell. I was doing a bullet at CSATF/CSP. Robert D. Junior was there and the program was still new. I met a friend, Darren Lynn, and things metaphysical seemed to happen. I met the correctional officers and didn't have a problem with them for the most part. But what took place there is an experience I woudn't trade for the world. Let me tell you a little about it.

When I got locked up my Aunt said it wasn't a punishment, God just wanted to keep me safe. I wasn't associating with the most stable people in the world.

Lynn read the "Ruins" which are like scandinavian tarot. He was acturate and not everything he "saw" was flattering to the other inmates so Lynn had a leg up on most.

After a shower, the day I got there, I was walking down the stairs and caught a glance at the female correctional officer. She noticed me and did a double take. Not that I'm all that, I'm 52, but in good shape. It was an attraction that more than noticeable. I was paranoid and she didn't waver from her prodicall. I don't want to go into detail but she would not give me favorable treatment other being a decent human being. I never asked anything of her against the rules out of respect for her and her job.

Darren Lynn was good at communicating with people. We were at a drug intervention program where the inmates participated. (Funny, but I have no history of drugs or alcohol) Darren's talent was appreciated by Waldenhouse (who managed the program on "F" yard) there was discussions about future employment for him. All three of us had a mutual respect for each other.

I told her if Aphroditi and Hermes had a daughter she would be a beautiful messenger of love? (I said this so she would know it's really me) I would like to see both of them again but don't know how to go about it. To contact her or write her to find Lynn I need her personal work number to send the correspondence. I'm law abiding and haven't been in trouble since and it was my first offense. (which even makes it stranger) I have no doubt there is somthing extremely special here. If some knows her or Darren please let me know or ask her if it's ok. My e-mail is ohyaits@hotmail.com This is probably frowned on but so what. I'm not proposing anything wrong and I'm not some weirdo looking for revenge. Ask her?

As far as the topic. When a person is locked up, under stress, clean and sober, for the first time in a long time, they get more in touch with the good part of them and it surprises them. The officers get to see a side of them that is genuine and sincere. It's from the heart. They know who the "good" people are. The only risk is when the "good" inmate is realeased and gets back into drugs, etc., it brings all the asshole out of them and anybody who uses them!

I guess this is the best place to start. I was an inmate at CSATF/CSP doing a bullet on a violation. I can't say anything happened but I truly fell for a female correctional officer named Allison Cook (Miss Cook). It was remarkable. The feeling was mutual I'm sure. It wasn't a physical, getty kind of thing but a soul connection. I could even tell you if she came to work that day by the way I felt when I woke up. I say this, she is someone I'd trust my back with and I never touched her Or said anything improper. (well, I had a friend that knew I liked her. He was on-the-leg, if you will. If I said something to him she would find out.) I also had the most amazing friendship with another inmate named Darren Lynn. Darren Lynn was my Mer-lynn and Miss Cook was the lady Gwen. I remember the second time I talked with her in passing( lynn and I were allowed to use a small office to quietly discuss things imortant to us.) I was outside smoking. She strolled in my direction and said, "Does Lynn tell you what to think?" I said, "No. He only affirms what I already know." The little conversation was in reference to how I felt about her. When I first got there I was talking to Lynn and happen to mention I didn't get my property that day and it would be all weekend before I could get it. She was sitting close enough to hear I guess. One minute later I heard my name called over the loud speaker to come get my property. That was the kind of thing she would help with. Never anything improper. Her job was her career, her security. I could look at her and she knew what I was thinking. It was a once in a lifetime meeting, and If I could, I'd love to speak with her. I'm off parole, I was a first time offender, and I haven't been in trouble since. No Drugs or alcohol.
Lynn's father lived in Alaska, on King Salmon Island, and Darren was very good at communicating. Walden house was considering employing him.
I was put in prison based on an accident. Fine. I did the time.
Meeting Allison Cook and Darren Lynn was one of the highlights of my life. I wouldn't take back one instant and I have no regrets going to prison. I do it again to see them again. After all, I met my queen and my Mer-Lynn there. The last thing I said to her was, "If Aphrodite, the god of love, and Mecury, the messenger of the gods, had a child she would be a beautiful messenger of love. The place is magic! Oh, by the way, the little office was bugged and she could hear everything we said. She knew how I felt when she walked out and spoke to me. If anyone has any thoughts on how to find her....and him.....

I've never worked for the system, but I just copped this e-book about this ex CO who met her husband in prison, and so far, so good. It's basically some love letters you're reading that she got from him. Here is the link if anybody's interested. It's only about 15-20 pages. Love From Lockdown Vol, I: The Prisoner's CO (http://www.myspace.com/lockdownlove)

mrsalmondjoy, that is some good reading. I enjoyed it, very sweet.

My man has had three flings since he's been in, one with a CO and two with counselor/social workers. One he actually cared about, and knows where she is now. I am thankful that he was able to experience some sex, since I wasn't there to give it to him, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't envious of those women.

I worked for the prison for over a year before I quit because I had fallen in love with Michael. I was considered to be a soft boss, meaning I was not riding their asses twenty four seven. Mostly as long as you didn't kill me or get me hurt I was okay with you doing what you wanted. There were other officers that I worked with that wouldn't even allow the guys to play chess in the same bunk. Because I was a woman I was told that I was not allowed to have any conversation with the offenders. Whenever I did they always thought it was "dirty" talk. Yeah there was a whole lot of guys trying to sweet talk to me but you can see through the bs. There was also people just wanting a chance to talk to someone.
Not every offender is trying to play a con game. After you spend time on the inside you know which ones are the ones running game and which ones just are nice and just want to talk even about their families. I have had many offenders come up and show me pictures of their wifes and kids. They miss them as much as their families miss them. Well because I was liked by many of the guys ( and not like that) Of course I had trouble with the other officers. Mainly the gung hoe ones that think the only thing you need to do is make an inmates life hell. My supervisor was one of these thinking officers. Of course rumors got started that I was having an inappropriate relastionship with an offender. More than likley started by my very own supervisor. I was put under investagation nothing came of it. My supervisor and his little friend ( another officer) took to watching me in my dorms from the windows outside. I had guys coming to tell me that I was being watched. It was crazy! Well at the time nothing was going on with me and anyone. I was just a nice person and I never thought to think that I would fall for anyone that was locked up.
Michael was very different right from the start. I'm not even sure how it started but I'm pretty sure that he approached me first. He was up at my desk one night talking to me and we looked into each other's eyes and you could almost hear the "click" of our connection. I have never felt anything like that with another person. We both talked about our feelings and I told him about my marriage. ( Yes I'm married at the present time). A few weeks went by and we continued talking well that's when we both knew that we had feelings for the other. We both agreed that I needed to quit before we both got into serious trouble. I remember him joking saying that he would go to jail ( meaning solitary confinement) and I would get fired but at least our relationship wouldn't have to be kept a secret. ;) I quit and the next day I wrote to him and we have been writing ever since. Granted it hasn't been that long we have been together since November 11th 06. He never asked anything of me while I was working there or since I stopped working there. His only hidden agenda was three things! One to make me happy, Two to do anything for me, Three to make me fall in love with him. he told me this on the 11th of November. That night was the best and will remain in my memory forever.:D

I know exactly where you are coming from. I worked at a detention center in a little bitty hick town in the middle of nowhere. I was always nice to everyone. It didn't matter to me that they were inmates. I treated them the same way I did the C/O's. You are right about them just wanting to have someone to talk to. I was never disrespected by any of the inmates. I think that was because I always respected them and treated them just like any other person. I did meet someone while I was working there. At first I told him that he needed to forget about me because it would never work. Well, that was the wrong thing to say to him!! He is the most determined man I have ever met. I knew from the first moment that I saw him that something was going to happen between us. I fought it for a long time, but finally gave in. I knew him for almost two years before he approached me one day and like you said it just clicked. He was a trustee and worked beside me everyday. We were always together, so naturally people assumed something was going on between us long before it was. We kept it a secret for about five months. It really wasn't a secret, they just never were able to catch us doing anything wrong. You would not believe the rumors that were started about me. It was horrible. But I was lucky and found another job before things really got out of hand. Once I was gone they continued to make things hard on him. They would not let us talk on the phone so I got him a cell phone. I know this was wrong, but it was my only way to communicate with him. I couldn't even write him a letter. About 3 months later during a randon shake down he had the phone in his pocket. So, he handed it to the Lt. on duty. They put him in the hole for about 10 days before they shipped him to another facility. They thought things would be hard on him, but he's actually doing better. We don't have to keep our relationship a secret anymore. I'm able to visit him and he call's me almost every night. It's like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. Yes, I know he's an inmate, but he's also a man. A very wonderful man who made mistakes in his past and is paying the price. He will get out in about 13 months. He has been able to get a job through work release and sends him money home to me to save so that we will be able to find a place together when he gets out. I have 2 daughters who are in college and they have no problem with our relationship. They send him cards and letters and go visit him. My parents know about our situation and don't care as long as he is good to me and makes me happy!!

Hello, I am an ex c/o. We fell in love at the prison but nothing happened till I left. We are still together even though they put him in the hole, messed with our mail, and sliced my tires. That was almost two years ago. They still won't let us visit. We are very much in love and holding tight. He is up for parole in 2007 so we are hopeful that he will be able to come home then. For those that are curious I didn't get the job to find love. I was already planning to quit because of the crap I saw. I only held on as long as I did because I knew I wouldn't be allowed to see him once I quit. I was in a position to talk with him everyday. I miss that very much.

Since I was one of the first to post in this thread I wanted to update anyone who was interested. Raven and I have finally been approved to marry and have a date of December 29, 2006. I have been told I can arrive at 8:00 am and visit till the end at 3:30 pm. Everything we have been through is worth it to reach this day. All of you who met your man while inside hang in there and keep loving them. Eventually it will come around to going your way.

Now you know what I am about to say about visiting until 3:30
SHUT-UP !!!!
do you think you can stand to visit that long????? Hmmmm, i sure hope so!! hahaha!!!!!
Girl you know how excited I am for you both!!!! And me and my crew will be anxiously awaiting you to get back with all the details and to celebrate!!! Woohoo!!!!!

Congrats Raven, I know its been a long time comming. So enjoy your visit and have fun.

Congratulations!!! I would die for a visit that long! I hope everything works out for the two of you.

Congratulations Raven if anyone deserves it you do. Enjoy ur visit it has been a long time coming.

Congrat girl, you know faith in God moves mountains. There are alot of people who talk down on the people who have married men that are incarcerated. When the truth is love has no limit. I love my husband and we have been married for 8 years. There is nothing that man could do that seperate us. I'm just curious on something you said Raven. You said, "Approval to get married". I just want to know why? you had to get a approval? Anyway, hang in there and remember there will be some bad days but, focus on building a solid foundation. Don't allow anybody to make you and your husband to have problems. I love my husband and i wish yall the best of luck.

Harold's wifey

Thanks everyone. In Ohio you have to request approval from the warden to get married. Considering how we met it was not a given that he would approve. We are very excited.

Yeahhh Ravenslove :-) Congratulations, I KNOW how happy and excited you are!!!!!!! Blessings to you and your love!!!!

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who fell in love while working as a co. Once my superiors found out about our realtionship, they sent him to another facility and I resigned. They gave him a class A write up, locked him down and are still messing with our mail. Let's face it-- ALL of us have made mistakes, they just happened to get caught. I love my baby and will be right here waiting on him when he gets out. Any advice on getting around the mail situation? Visitations are not going to happen either-- I've tried!

It was amazing, There was no problem getting in. I was holding my breath praying that they would just let me in and they did. I sat down, looking forward to seeing him walk out. But I had to go to the bathroom so I had the officer let me in, I was in less then 5 minutes. When I came out there he was. My heart stopped he is as beautiful as I remembered. He got up and we had our first kiss in 2 1/2 years. If only time could has stood still.(never thought I would say that) We kissed until one of the c/o's coughed in our direction. We both laughed and sat down. We held hands and just looked at each other. I just couldn't stop looking at him. We sat and talked, laughed and just stared at each other. I was there at 8 am, Monster girl and her mommy showed up and we all had an enjoyable time. You can tell alot about a man by how they deal with children. Monster girl and Raven had so much fun. The Reverand showed up at 11:30 am. He sat with us and talked while we waited for the Chaplain. The actual service was at high noon. The Reverand made a beautiful ceremony, making both of us feel special. It was like he actually knew us. He even added the Apache blessing at the end. It was as close to perfect as it could be considering the location. I am officially married and it was worth all the crap we had to go through. Thank you all for your good wishes.

Love to you all Ravenslove

Congrats to you both, I am so happy for yall!!!

That is so great Raven. I am so happy for u. My 24 months will be up this week andi am keeping my fingers crossed on being able to visit my husband. i have not seen him in 2 1/2 years now. Here's to keeping the good luck going.......

Congrats Raven..I am so happy for you..

Yes, Yeahhhhhhh Ravenslove, I am soooo HAPPY for you and him!!!
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW how you felt that moment you saw him
:-))))))))))))))) I have been praying for you since I first came here to PTO.

Hello everyone! I just joined today and there is so much information on this site and everyone gets along so well. I met my soon to be husband while I was working in the system. I was an officer on lock-up (M-Con) and the officers do get treated pretty badly there but then again you have so many officers that go in all gung ho and they make it hard for the ones of us that do care. Anyhow, as I was saying, I met my soon to be almost a year ago and I just recently resigned. I know they won't allow me to see him while he's at this location but he will be making a few trips for a court case and I will be able to visit him that way. I also went from seeing him everyday to not seeing him at all but I get a letter every single day that the mail runs and that eases that pain of missing him greatly. He's still got about three years to go and we'll be tying the knot as soon as we get all the information on it and as soon as it can happen. Thanks to you all for this site and the wonderful informative posts!

I will make my 'difference' my way, according to the rules and the law. It does not include, nor never will, establishing a relationship with an inmate. Treating them as human is one thing...a relationship is another. This is my way...Others, will see fit to do it their way. We all have our own morals and boundaries. Maybe mine are just a little more set in stone than others. Others are more comfortable with wavering than I am. Such is life. To each their own.

Let me just add...as mere humans, we can interpret the teachings of the bible however we see fit. For me, that does not include justifying my transgressions (whatever they may be) as anything other than human weakness. People can use "God's plan" to justify any actions...IMO.

30Flat--I just want to say that no one is above becoming involved with an offender if you are working with them on a day to day basis. I may be involved with an offender and was busted for it but I could have given IA enough information to terminate half of their security staff and 90 percent of the medical staff. Contraband...relationships...you name it...half the people you enter the facility with every day are bringing in contraband, relating with the offenders, looking the other way when someone else is taking care of their business, etc. etc. And for the most part the people who are working with you have no more integrity than most of the prisoners. Now if you have done some time in the prison you already know all that. Never say never...............
Robin

I realize there are dirty officers in every unit. I disagree with your 90 percent though. I, however, am not one to turn the other way/bring anything in/or have a relationship....that is just me. To each their own. If I know someone is a dirty officer, then I will turn them in. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. They put me (and those I care about) in jeopardy. There is enough to worry about just being in that enviroment...without having to have extra to worry about.

30flat, I have just one question for you...does that mean that you are calling every officer or other employee on this thread who said they fell in love with an inmate "DIRTY"???

I totally agree with you on this! I became involved with an inmate. The extent of our relationship involved writing letters. We never put anyone in danger. We never hurt anyone! I know a lot of officers like to use the excuse that our relationship could jeopardize the security of the institituion, however, does anyone ever stop and consider that our relationships may just have some redemptive qualities for the inmate??? Not everyone that becomes involved with an inmate should automatically be assumed "Dirty." Integrity involves a whole lot more than just following post orders!!! Never forget that we are all just human and all of us, even offenders, have feelings. If you have ever been locked up you know that your emotions aren't checked at the door, you are still very much human and adapting to your surroundings is hard enough. A task often made more difficult than necessary by those power tripping gung-ho "upstanding" officers.


30Flat--I just want to say that no one is above becoming involved with an offender if you are working with them on a day to day basis. I may be involved with an offender and was busted for it but I could have given IA enough information to terminate half of their security staff and 90 percent of the medical staff. Contraband...relationships...you name it...half the people you enter the facility with every day are bringing in contraband, relating with the offenders, looking the other way when someone else is taking care of their business, etc. etc. And for the most part the people who are working with you have no more integrity than most of the prisoners. Now if you have done some time in the prison you already know all that. Never say never...............
Robin

The decision is official my husband and I are not allowed to visit. Thats it. They may reconsider it in 6 months. The only thing he kept saying is it was because of the way we met. I asked him what will change in 6 months. We will still have met in prison. Raven comes up for parole in March and if he gets it out in June. We can only pray that he comes home.

I'm so sorry for the both of you !!! But at least the two of you don't have that much time left...

If he gets parole. My husband has a 40 year tail.

The decision is official my husband and I are not allowed to visit. Thats it. They may reconsider it in 6 months. The only thing he kept saying is it was because of the way we met. I asked him what will change in 6 months. We will still have met in prison. Raven comes up for parole in March and if he gets it out in June. We can only pray that he comes home.

I have been going thought this thread and didn't think I would put in anything but after reading this I want to tell you I will pray that when they reconsider they will let you visit...
I think it stinks they would let you get married then like a slap in the face say no to visits! btw Congrats on the wedding!

I applied to be a CO here because they are screaming for them here, but when they found out that I visit at a prison the Sgt. that did the first interview said "We aren't going to hire you because you could find another FRIEND in a prison you might be working in and we can't have that;) if you get my meaning!" Oh yes I got her meaning... like I was out trolling for inmates...:angry: I wasn't even applying at the prison he was in nor would I do that. (I could just see him the first time I was called a "She it eatter") you know the thing is a female Sgt at the prison I visit told me to go and put in for it cause it wouldn't make any difference as long as I was up front with it.. But then I did get the last word on that little lady our new Sec. doesn't like bad press so I let him know what happened..... lets just say that Sgt is now going though some extra training on dealing with what should be said and shouldn't be said to applicants when they are in her office.

I want to say I respect you ladies for the job that you did inside there and for treating the guys like they were human beings. Prison is the punishment not a place to be punished more.... I know some CO's that I would not walk on the same side of the street with and others I would go out of my way for... but then I treat all people as people no matter what they do for a living I show you respect till you show me you are not worth my effort to do so... I have found that shocks most people inside, on eather side of the fince when they first interact with me... I know it shocked George when I first started writing him..

Raven I know it sucks. I am still trying to go see my husband. Good luck with maybe getting them to change their mind. Hey, at least you got to spend one wonderful day with him (when you were married) that you didn't have to wonder who was around. I hope soon all of us will get to visit our loved ones.

I am currently a CO, & have been for close eight years. I started my career in 1999, & a female, who I was aquainted with was incarcerated in the facility where I worked. I am a christian, & she comes from a respectful local family. She would always seek me out to talk with her about her addiction to drugs. During the course of her coming & leaving jail a few times we had many good serious talks. She was always very receptive & responsive. Our relationship was always on a professional level. She was sent down the road to a DOC Facility, but returned about a year later to where I worked, for she had a court appearance to go to. While at my facility we had a chance to talk, & I was impressed with her positive changes & attitude. We exchanged addresses & communicated after that on a regular basis, & I told her if anything is found out about our communication for her to tell the truth, for we have done no wrong & there is nothing to be ashamed about. Well, one night I had just got home from work & she called stating she had been called in that day by their investigator & questioned as to who I am & where do I work. And she said the investigator was, of course, attempting to make it into a sexual incident. When she was asked if I had ever given her anything, she answewed and said, the only thing that I had given her was encouragemrnt. inspiration, & bible verses to read. She said he didn't know how to respond to that. Well, the next day I was called in for an interview, & suspended without pay pending a complete investigation. The investigation lasted about four weeks, & finally I was called in & advised I had been put back on the payroll & being paid for the time off due to the suspension, with no consequences, for they could find no wrongdoing on either of us. I was told they didn't care if I communicated with her, & I have on a regular basis & have even been to visit her a few times. She supported me 100%. This drew us much closer together. She will be up for parole in July 2007. Upon her release we plan to team up & go into the ministry together. She is a real treasure. Matter of fact her uncle is pastor of the church I attend, so our church has adopted her & we support her financially & spiritually. She is a beautiful woman, & so intelligent. I could always see such potential this lady has. Wow, when we began those talks in 1999 neither of us had no idea our relationship would be what it is today. God is certainly awesome the way he brings people together. I am no longer at that facility, but retired in April 2006, & went to another facility just over the state line that pays more money & better benefits. Yes, our God is good..........

Awww, Ravenslove that's so sweet!! Although I'm not an ex-co, I do work in law enforcement and met my love on my job. My baby has finally been transferred only an hour away from my house after many phone calls to the counselor and DOC. He was in a transitional center in a work program until someone told on us for "talking", he was sent back to prison for 8 months until his recent transfer. I've always been able to visit with him, but the 4 1/2 hour drive made it somewhat difficult. Your story just really touched my heart, because we have been planning to be married. Was puttin it off til he was transferred, so now IT'S ON!! Congrats to you and your love!!!

It was amazing, There was no problem getting in. I was holding my breath praying that they would just let me in and they did. I sat down, looking forward to seeing him walk out. But I had to go to the bathroom so I had the officer let me in, I was in less then 5 minutes. When I came out there he was. My heart stopped he is as beautiful as I remembered. He got up and we had our first kiss in 2 1/2 years. If only time could has stood still.(never thought I would say that) We kissed until one of the c/o's coughed in our direction. We both laughed and sat down. We held hands and just looked at each other. I just couldn't stop looking at him. We sat and talked, laughed and just stared at each other. I was there at 8 am, Monster girl and her mommy showed up and we all had an enjoyable time. You can tell alot about a man by how they deal with children. Monster girl and Raven had so much fun. The Reverand showed up at 11:30 am. He sat with us and talked while we waited for the Chaplain. The actual service was at high noon. The Reverand made a beautiful ceremony, making both of us feel special. It was like he actually knew us. He even added the Apache blessing at the end. It was as close to perfect as it could be considering the location. I am officially married and it was worth all the crap we had to go through. Thank you all for your good wishes.

Love to you all Ravenslove

Well I read all the stories, and I can say i am kinda happy for you guys, but then again, now I have to worry about my guy finding someone. That never crossed my mind until now.....mixed emotions here....but i guess if he loves me like he says then I need not worry ...Right....honey19487
p.s. anyone heard anything about gov. perrys early release ,90 days,????

I fell in love with my man in one state and became a CO in another. I was told to keep our relationship a secret, but I was honest right from the beginning application process. As any other CO I built relationships with inmates, but I Never crossed the line!! I fully believe I was judged by co workers and piers based on my relationship with an inmate in another state. It was one of the biggest struggles of my life; knowing that I needed to maintain that relationship as a manager of inmates, but also knowing and experiencing life as the lover of an inmate. It was almost as if I lived a double life. In the systems eyes it is the belief of many that inmates are not to be treated humanely, and that they are simply animals. To stand by and watch that treatment of certain inmates really upset me and continues to haunt me when I think of my loves life as an inmate.

Honey19487, be happy for yourself and your love. I posted a New thread titled "MWI Only I need your thoughts". If you haven't read that one yet, please do so. I had the same feelings "what if he finds someone else". The support I received from this post was overwhelming and helped me so much. You and your love must have open & honest communications between you. Follow your heart and trust him until he gives you a reason not to. Good Luck!!

Well I read all the stories, and I can say i am kinda happy for you guys, but then again, now I have to worry about my guy finding someone. That never crossed my mind until now.....mixed emotions here....but i guess if he loves me like he says then I need not worry ...Right....honey19487
p.s. anyone heard anything about gov. perrys early release ,90 days,????

I applaud you, your honesty, & your integrity. I have been a CO for nearly eight years, & yes, so many CO's seem to thrive on being A HOLES, please pardon the expression, but I've found it so true. I've worked in two different facilities & it's the same. When some people get that badge, well, I don't know where their head goes. I've always believed, & still do, that a little kindness goes a long way. Kindness is NOT a weakness. My baby, my sunshine. my special, precious treasure, & the LOVE OF MY LIFE is incarcerated & I'm not one bit ashamed of her. In my eyes she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I miss her & love her so much. It been over a week since I've heard from her. She called last tuesday, 2/13, & all I heard was a loud hiss on her end. Probably their phones are out once again, But even as a CO, for I know what goes on behind those walls, I get concerned when I don't hear from my angel of sunshine. God Bless You All.

I applaud you, your honesty, & your integrity. I have been a CO for nearly eight years, & yes, so many CO's seem to thrive on being A HOLES, please pardon the expression, but I've found it so true. I've worked in two different facilities & it's the same. When some people get that badge, well, I don't know where their head goes. I've always believed, & still do, that a little kindness goes a long way. Kindness is NOT a weakness. My baby, my sunshine. my special, precious treasure, & the LOVE OF MY LIFE is incarcerated & I'm not one bit ashamed of her. In my eyes she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I miss her & love her so much. It been over a week since I've heard fro