BobbyzGirl
02-20-2006, 01:41 PM
Okay ... I met my boyfriends' sister through a college class in the fall of 2004. Almost a year later she thought of me when he was asking her if she had any friends that he could start "talking" to. At that time he had been locked up for a year and 3 months. She thought of me & we immediately hit it off. I am 22, he is 30, we each have a daughter and they are barely a year apart. (hence the timelines :D )
I wrote him the first letter on October 8th 2005. I met him for the first time on December 17th, 2005. That was the day we "officially hooked up." He will be released on February 28th, 2006. So we've been talking for 4 1/2 months & have "been together" for 2 1/2 months. I have visited him a total of 7 times. It is a 4 hour (each way) trip for me. My daughter's 'sperm donor' as I refer to him as, is not in my life. He is actually currently incarcerated for never paying child support.
Anyway ... here is my major issue. I have hid this relationship from my parents. I still live at home. My daughter is 2. I KNOW my parents & they would FREAK out if they knew I was even as much as writing somebody in prison, let alone going to see him & planning on being with him. I don't have the cleanest slate myself -- but I have never been to prison. I am currently on probation which I get off in October. I am certainly no angel, but I have come SOOOOOO far. I won my battle against drug addiction & have been clean for 3 1/2 years. My daughter is my pride & joy. I came out of rehab with nothing & then got pregnant by a loser --- but I made the best of it!!! I moved back home when I was 3 months pregnant ... lived there for a little over a year, got to stay home w/my daughter for 11 months, (babysat part time) ... then I went back to work full time when she was 11 months old then got my own apartment 3 months later. Lived there for 5 months and had to break the lease cuz I just couldn't do it on my own anymore. I only brought in a little over 1,300 a month and rent was 700 and daycare was 130 a week. Then there was bills and laundry and car insurance and gas and diapers ... i was struggling SOOOOO badly & bought out my lease by paying 2 months and moved back home .... I will FINALLY be done paying my parents & grandma back that 1,400 in a few months :)
Anyway ..... like I was saying ... we hit it off SOOOO well. Now I am seeing though that his sister that hooked us up is one of the most twisted, devious people I've ever met in my entire life. It's like she likes to hook people up to be able to get in the middle and cause drama. Then his daughters mom is suddenly on bull$hit ---- she swore this whole time she would never keep him from his daughter but now 2 weeks before he gets out she serves him with restraining order papers & saying he will only have supervised visitation. It's a huge mess. She has gotten married since he's been there and everybody believes her husband is putting her up to all that. So now he has to get a lawyer to fight for his daughter. All he wants is joint custody --- which would be the best for Kayden (<< his daughter) anyway. He is a great dad he just made poor judgements and bad mistakes. But when he was home and they were together he supported BOTH of them. His daughter is his world. He is in there for getting a DUI while his license was revoked.
My other issue is having hid this entire relationship from my parents. Now when he comes home I have to make it seem to them like it's a "brand new" relationship & we're just getting to know each other --- when in reality we are in love & have also become best friends. I know that sounds extreme --- but I guess you gotta experience something like this under these circumstances to understand, right?! :D
So anyway .... anybody in a situation like this? We plan on getting our own apartment with 6 months after him coming home. He will be paroling to his parents' house temporarily & working with their company (a lawn care business). His family will all be pitching in on the lawyer (most of them are pretty well off) & then he is going to try to get his license back which is going to cost a VERY pretty penny. I'm talking 5,000 +. And even that amount is wishful thinking.
Anyway .... I've never felt as close to any man I've ever been with. And I had been writing another man that was locked up a couple years back and he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me and blah blah blah ... but it NEVER felt like this does. THIS IS REAL. I guess only me & him know that for sure ...... the rest of the world can find it out later on i guess ..... but we really feel we're meant to be & I'm just aggravated that I had to hide this in the first place b/c I am GROWN .... but I know once they meet him they will love him & all will be well after that ... I'm just worried they'll be up my a$$ telling me we're moving too fast blah blah blah -- when really we're just picking up right where we should when he gets out.
Any comments, suggestions? Thanks!
I wrote him the first letter on October 8th 2005. I met him for the first time on December 17th, 2005. That was the day we "officially hooked up." He will be released on February 28th, 2006. So we've been talking for 4 1/2 months & have "been together" for 2 1/2 months. I have visited him a total of 7 times. It is a 4 hour (each way) trip for me. My daughter's 'sperm donor' as I refer to him as, is not in my life. He is actually currently incarcerated for never paying child support.
Anyway ... here is my major issue. I have hid this relationship from my parents. I still live at home. My daughter is 2. I KNOW my parents & they would FREAK out if they knew I was even as much as writing somebody in prison, let alone going to see him & planning on being with him. I don't have the cleanest slate myself -- but I have never been to prison. I am currently on probation which I get off in October. I am certainly no angel, but I have come SOOOOOO far. I won my battle against drug addiction & have been clean for 3 1/2 years. My daughter is my pride & joy. I came out of rehab with nothing & then got pregnant by a loser --- but I made the best of it!!! I moved back home when I was 3 months pregnant ... lived there for a little over a year, got to stay home w/my daughter for 11 months, (babysat part time) ... then I went back to work full time when she was 11 months old then got my own apartment 3 months later. Lived there for 5 months and had to break the lease cuz I just couldn't do it on my own anymore. I only brought in a little over 1,300 a month and rent was 700 and daycare was 130 a week. Then there was bills and laundry and car insurance and gas and diapers ... i was struggling SOOOOO badly & bought out my lease by paying 2 months and moved back home .... I will FINALLY be done paying my parents & grandma back that 1,400 in a few months :)
Anyway ..... like I was saying ... we hit it off SOOOO well. Now I am seeing though that his sister that hooked us up is one of the most twisted, devious people I've ever met in my entire life. It's like she likes to hook people up to be able to get in the middle and cause drama. Then his daughters mom is suddenly on bull$hit ---- she swore this whole time she would never keep him from his daughter but now 2 weeks before he gets out she serves him with restraining order papers & saying he will only have supervised visitation. It's a huge mess. She has gotten married since he's been there and everybody believes her husband is putting her up to all that. So now he has to get a lawyer to fight for his daughter. All he wants is joint custody --- which would be the best for Kayden (<< his daughter) anyway. He is a great dad he just made poor judgements and bad mistakes. But when he was home and they were together he supported BOTH of them. His daughter is his world. He is in there for getting a DUI while his license was revoked.
My other issue is having hid this entire relationship from my parents. Now when he comes home I have to make it seem to them like it's a "brand new" relationship & we're just getting to know each other --- when in reality we are in love & have also become best friends. I know that sounds extreme --- but I guess you gotta experience something like this under these circumstances to understand, right?! :D
So anyway .... anybody in a situation like this? We plan on getting our own apartment with 6 months after him coming home. He will be paroling to his parents' house temporarily & working with their company (a lawn care business). His family will all be pitching in on the lawyer (most of them are pretty well off) & then he is going to try to get his license back which is going to cost a VERY pretty penny. I'm talking 5,000 +. And even that amount is wishful thinking.
Anyway .... I've never felt as close to any man I've ever been with. And I had been writing another man that was locked up a couple years back and he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me and blah blah blah ... but it NEVER felt like this does. THIS IS REAL. I guess only me & him know that for sure ...... the rest of the world can find it out later on i guess ..... but we really feel we're meant to be & I'm just aggravated that I had to hide this in the first place b/c I am GROWN .... but I know once they meet him they will love him & all will be well after that ... I'm just worried they'll be up my a$$ telling me we're moving too fast blah blah blah -- when really we're just picking up right where we should when he gets out.
Any comments, suggestions? Thanks!