I am not new to this site but I have never posted in this section & have never thought about it until today. I am mixed(black & white) but consider myself black b/c as we all know that is what the goverment sees you as if you have one drop of black in you but anyway...my son's father is black(very so, if I may say so) but our son is light bright dang near white, if it werent for his hair you would think he was a totally complete non-mixed white child. Well anyway before my son's father was transferred to his federal prison, we went to go see him at the regional jail. I was filling out my paper work for my son and wrote his name down(a very very very ethnic, some may say ghetto name). The woman @ the front desk asked me how to pronounce it & I preceeded to tell her. Well she gave me a very preplexed look and I didn't think much of it. Now don't you all know this hillbilly, trailer trash, whale of a woman had the audacity to tell her coworker(in what she thought was a whisper, I suppose) "why she'd give that baby that "NIG_ER" name!!!! I am not going to elaborate anymore but in the end, it was not a very pretty sight & I feel bad for losing my temper like that but that just made my blood boil. Not only was that uncuth but trashy, uneducated, stupid, foul, and a million other things all balled up in one. I can not believe that in this day & age someone would have the nerve to same some crap like that. I just felt like I should share my story to let people know how dumb some people are....

The ignorance and stupidity of people who think they are better simply because of the color of their skin. I feel your pain. My family is also black and white, and most people take me for white, so the shit I have heard when they didn't think no black folk were around. I think the best thing we can do is set a good example to our children, and teach them that the color of someone's skin does not make the person inside, and that they have a responsibility to not sucumb to hatred and racism.

ignorance and racism is alive and well in today's sociey.....it never see to amaze me that people still feel the need to judge each other....not only by race....but financial statis.....height and weight and even where u live......you would think after 9-11 we would have learned something!!!!!!

K i understand you are hurt and no one of any race has any business commenting on the name of a child or an adult for that matter. But what makes it right for you to say the hillbilly, white trash because all that is doing is going down to her level and saying that is what white people are. I will apologize for her ignorance because that comment never should have been made but it upsets me that you are making the comment you are making right now.

Oh no see maybe you just thought you saw white but if you go back and read, I did not call her white. I left her race out on her purpose because I am not one to group people and judge people solely on his/her race. I did call her a hillbilly trailer trash whale of a woman though...which all of those are true. I followed her to her house so therefore I know for a fact she lives in a trailer(thought I was stereotyping, huh), she was very hillbilly b/c she was chewing tobacco, and she was a whale of a woman compared to me b/c I only weigh 102 and she was a good 250+. So I am very sorry if that offended you but I just wanted to let you know, no I did not ever refer to her race.

Oh no see maybe you just thought you saw white but if you go back and read, I did not call her white. I left her race out on her purpose because I am not one to group people and judge people solely on his/her race. I did call her a hillbilly trailer trash whale of a woman though...which all of those are true. I followed her to her house so therefore I know for a fact she lives in a trailer(thought I was stereotyping, huh), she was very hillbilly b/c she was chewing tobacco, and she was a whale of a woman compared to me b/c I only weigh 102 and she was a good 250+. So I am very sorry if that offended you but I just wanted to let you know, no I did not ever refer to her race.

Wow! Good for you, thongs-n-timbz! I am as white as Austrian snow, and never once did I think you were referring to her race. Trash is trash.....it knows no boundaries and spans all races. And what exactly is a "nig--r" name, anyway? That's just plain silly. Geez, look at Gwyneth Paltrow, naming her daughter "Apple". I'd rather have my child be blessed with a name of meaning and culture, rather than something I'd find in a fruit bowl. "Yes, this is my daughter Apple, and her brothers Kiwi and Banana." As hard as it might be to do, just let it go. You're better than that. :thumbsup:

Lisa

I am in an I/R relationship, and so I'm white and so is my child. I do not allow that word to be said in the presence of her & for some reason her "father" has referred to me as a "ni--er loving b-tch" to some of his friends recently. What can you do? I've gotten pissed, cussed him out and told him that if he can't respect how I feel, he shouldn't be around our daughter, who I take care of 100% by myself, that's how strongly I feel about it. It's just a matter of ignorance and respect, and some people have too much of one and none of the other. I don't blame you, I'd have cussed her out too. That's your child and no matter his name, it's none of her business!

my children (one now deceased) both biracial...i share that with you b/c, as a mother who has had to bury the body of her son AND endure the type of hatred (that's what racism is) you speak of along with my now adult daughter, i can tell you that, in the final analysis, you nor your child is going to care as much about crazy sh.. like that as you are the precious special moments of sharing love with each other....i'm not saying it shouldn't have bothered you...i've had enough confrontations myself not to even suggest that...i am saying the more you let it bother you, the more the haters have the upper hand....racism comes in all shapes and forms...is good if you are biracial, you claim biracial...whether others say u are black or whatever...simply because you are a whole person and shouldn't let others rob you or your children of your whole identity...just today, my daughter was saying to me, mama, i remember when you told me this....(about an instance like this in which someone was trying to intimidate her)...and what she remembered wasn't so much the incident as that we endured it together with love... cause love does endure and cover all.

gen22 - my heart breaks for you. I can't imagine what it is like to lose a child....that has to be the hardest thing anyone can endure....I'm at a loss for words :confused: And on top of all that, to endure the racism (hatred) on top if it, is inconceivable. But the fact that you rose above it speaks volumes; your children are blessed to have you as a mother, and if the world were filled with more people like you, it would be such a better and more harmonious place. God bless you.....you have certainly made a difference in at least one person's life. That's more than many of us can say....


Lisa

stepping up to the plate here lol. we just recently had a woman at our local community college made the remark calling blacks porch monkeys. Im white and so is my husband but i still have white , black, asian,mexican freinds so I Do not condone this type of ignorance this woman showed. When the woman at the college made that remark she was fired on the spot and im thinking there is a lawsuit in process, stand up for yourselve honey and your mate and children. make as much noise as you can about it. on the other hand your remarks wasnt racial in any way but you just lowered yourselve to her standard by stereo typing her as hillbilly trailer trash. yes people live in trailers but that doesnt mean they are all trashy. all races need to learn to love one another and let the past go. the blacks ancestors were the ones that had to endure the segregation and slavery not the ones of today. so all races need to let that stuff go. sorry if i offend anyone it is not my intention but it makes my blood boil to see ignorance like the woman at regional made. its childish and uncalled for and i wouldnt rest until i had action for it. maybe then the ignorant will learn to keep there mouth closed!

I disagree. To me there is no word for white people that comes anywhere near to the level of any of the words racist white people give to black people. So..."white trash", "hilbilly"(which isn't necessarily just used on white people), and the like do not carry near as much stigma as "the word that I would love to disappear out of everyone's vocabulary." :)

I am not new to this site but I have never posted in this section & have never thought about it until today. I am mixed(black & white) but consider myself black b/c as we all know that is what the goverment sees you as if you have one drop of black in you but anyway...my son's father is black(very so, if I may say so) but our son is light bright dang near white, if it werent for his hair you would think he was a totally complete non-mixed white child. Well anyway before my son's father was transferred to his federal prison, we went to go see him at the regional jail. I was filling out my paper work for my son and wrote his name down(a very very very ethnic, some may say ghetto name). The woman @ the front desk asked me how to pronounce it & I preceeded to tell her. Well she gave me a very preplexed look and I didn't think much of it. Now don't you all know this hillbilly, trailer trash, whale of a woman had the audacity to tell her coworker(in what she thought was a whisper, I suppose) "why she'd give that baby that "NIG_ER" name!!!! I am not going to elaborate anymore but in the end, it was not a very pretty sight & I feel bad for losing my temper like that but that just made my blood boil. Not only was that uncuth but trashy, uneducated, stupid, foul, and a million other things all balled up in one. I can not believe that in this day & age someone would have the nerve to same some crap like that. I just felt like I should share my story to let people know how dumb some people are....


If i was you i would be contacking an attorney and getting her for defamation of character. Tell the attorney you felt really offened you have a right to sue on the grounds of discrimanation and she will inturn and lose her job do not let this thing fall by the ways side ignorance needs to be stopped by what ever means necessary she will think twice before she says it to someone else

that is sad that she would say something like that. I'm not in a interracial relationship but No One has the right to say things like that. And just to let you know saying she is trailer trash is not to nice either. I could take offense to that but I dont cause I know what I am!!!!

Hmmmm.....These racial issues do tend to get people upset. But as far as i am concern (this is coming from a black woman) with a black husband. You really cannot get upset, if the thongz wants to call the ignorant lady trailer trash so be it. She is what she is. The lady had no problem calling her son that "N" word. Which also showed she was very ignorant. Besides, i think if we stuck to our own races we would not have these issues to be upset about.

I don't have a problem with interracial couples, or children, but the issue i have is we all know there are ignorant people out there...so before you get into these types of relationships, you need to be prepared for the negativity.

Forgive my ignorance , but here in the UK - race isn't a big deal and N ( iassume u mean nigger) was a 60s word for NIGERIAN - which not a LOT of people ARE are they ??? What's the big issue - sorry, i just don' understand ?
yeah we have the odd imbecile who call anyone who looks remotely indian a 'paki' but most are NOT from Pakistan - so WHO is showing ignorance ??? ;)

PS i am a PADDY - ie IRISH - ya know sometimes racism can go TOO far the other way :D - my man is SO black ya can't see him in the dark so don't even GO THERE !!! ;) PLEASE don't take offence but jesus - HOW victorian is racism and the death penalty :( I mean NO offence i swear !

Forgive my ignorance , but here in the UK - race isn't a big deal and N ( iassume u mean nigger) was a 60s word for NIGERIAN - which not a LOT of people ARE are they ??? What's the big issue - sorry, i just don' understand ?
yeah we have the odd imbecile who call anyone who looks remotely indian a 'paki' but most are NOT from Pakistan - so WHO is showing ignorance ??? ;)

Kate sorry, but what you have said is absolute drivel! never have nigerians been called niggers! this is a derogatory term extrapolated from negro, get that right before you say things as such, I am amazed that a british person can say that, I know you are trying to hate on the racists but don't say things that have no foundation hence confusing people by making them believe that "nigger" ia actually used for people from nigeria or niger and hence not such a bad word afterall...........recognise!

The issue is the fact that you just used the word nigger, as if it is not offensive. I think everyone new what the word was before you spelled it out....it doesn't matter what it means in the UK...Nigerian, or African American what ever, Caucausians always seem to think anyone with skin that is not pale is a nigger or find the need make up some type of offensive name....What i really can't seem to understand is that Caucasians continue to do this, but are always so damn quick to run to sun in summer to get a f***ing tan and get dark skin....The word is very offensive, and calling Indians a Paki is just a damn offensive as calling someone a nigger.
Sorry i had to be a little offensive but it is awfully funny how it seems to be okay to use N word in here and when you call a white woman trailer trash every seems to get there panties in a bunch...how ironic.

I am not new to this site but I have never posted in this section & have never thought about it until today. I am mixed(black & white) but consider myself black b/c as we all know that is what the goverment sees you as if you have one drop of black in you but anyway...my son's father is black(very so, if I may say so) but our son is light bright dang near white, if it werent for his hair you would think he was a totally complete non-mixed white child. Well anyway before my son's father was transferred to his federal prison, we went to go see him at the regional jail. I was filling out my paper work for my son and wrote his name down(a very very very ethnic, some may say ghetto name). The woman @ the front desk asked me how to pronounce it & I preceeded to tell her. Well she gave me a very preplexed look and I didn't think much of it. Now don't you all know this hillbilly, trailer trash, whale of a woman had the audacity to tell her coworker(in what she thought was a whisper, I suppose) "why she'd give that baby that "NIG_ER" name!!!! I am not going to elaborate anymore but in the end, it was not a very pretty sight & I feel bad for losing my temper like that but that just made my blood boil. Not only was that uncuth but trashy, uneducated, stupid, foul, and a million other things all balled up in one. I can not believe that in this day & age someone would have the nerve to same some crap like that. I just felt like I should share my story to let people know how dumb some people are....

We can go on and on about how wrong it is to use such words towards any race of people, but the bottom line is still the bottom line...society will NEVER accept it.

So to those that choose to date/marry or whatever outside of your race, I wish you well...it takes courage...

Peace and blessings...

As I read the posts in this thread, I am reminded why I usually stay out of this forum. I think it creates more problems than it solves. Hearing comments like this "the blacks ancestors were the ones that had to endure the segregation and slavery not the ones of today", (black people inherit their parents legacies) and hearing people who think that because they have a black boyfriend makes it okay for them to say racist names because racism is "no big deal" (it affects everyone, white black or green) or people saying that because someone "chooses" to love someone of a different color, they need to be prepared to face the adversity (huh?), just makes it evident how many problems we have in our society when it comes to race and inter-racial relationships.

I would like to suggest that we not turn this into a squabble about who can or cannot use certain words. The full intent of the first post was to vent her frustrations stemming from the intolerance of others. We all know that "the word" is not, never has been and never will be a good or nice word. That is not up for argument by anyone as far as I know. All that being said, let's try to put the focus back on the purpose of this thread which is to support the original poster.

As I read the posts in this thread, I am reminded why I usually stay out of this forum. I think it creates more problems than it solves. Hearing comments like this "the blacks ancestors were the ones that had to endure the segregation and slavery not the ones of today", (black people inherit their parents legacies) and hearing people who think that because they have a black boyfriend makes it okay for them to say racist names because racism is "no big deal" (it affects everyone, white black or green) or people saying that because someone "chooses" to love someone of a different color, they need to be prepared to face the adversity (huh?), just makes it evident how many problems we have in our society when it comes to race and inter-racial relationships.


Yes i said they needed to be prepared (huh?) because they knew before they got in an interracial relationship the ignorant people out there make comments...so crying over spilled milk is not going to change it now. If they thought they could not handle it...then they should have never got in it to begin with.

Yes i said they needed to be prepared (huh?) because they knew before they got in an interracial relationship the ignorant people out there make comments...so crying over spilled milk is not going to change it now. If they thought they could not handle it...then they should have never got in it to begin with.

I think all of us are aware of the problems that can and will arise when it comes to being in an interracial relationship. That, however, does not make it hurt any less or keep us from being any less angry when it does happen. The purpose of this forum is to vent the frustrations that are unique to interracial couples, just as PTO in general is a place for us to vent the frustrations that evolve around being in a relationship with a prisoner. Many can look at our situations from the outside and say "Well, you accepted all the prison drama when you agreed to stick by him/her. There is no reason to cry over it now." If everyone used the 'don't cry over spilled milk' ideology to every situation, there would be absolutely no reason for PTO.

Oh my, I never intended to make such a big deal out of the situation & get some people upset or whatnot. I was just simply frustrated at the woman. I just want it to be known so no one will think that I am racist for my remarks either way, I am mixed with black & white & yes, although I consider myself black I have no problem whatsoever with white people at all...trashy, classy, or ashy...I just call them like I see it so therefore I am sorry if anyone got offended for me calling the woman what she was.....

I have no problem whatsoever with white people at all...trashy, classy, or ashy...I just call them like I see it so therefore I am sorry if anyone got offended for me calling the woman what she was.....

You go Miss Thongs!!! You just like me, call it like you see it!

I think Amy's siggy applies to this situation perfectly: The picture of Dr. Martin Luther King, and the following saying: Racism: Understand It, Accept It, Defeat it....Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignornace and conscientious stupidity- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Uneducated...hillbilly...trailer trash...whale of a woman" Come on, now I'm offended! :) I would have gotten mad too but in this post you got right down there on her level. I know at the moment we don't think we just react but if you'd just pointed out how rude she had been really nicely right in front of everybody she would have looked and felt dirty and small...like mouse poop.

Truth be known, we ALL have some sort of prejudice in us. Whether it be race, religion, sex, education, social status, weight, physical looks, etc, etc, we all have it. I'll be the first to admit that I do. I might not like it myself, but it's there.

Im not upset at all i have a problem with any person using any deraggotory name towards another person. we are in america we stand united! some people just dont know what unity means. for example. I work with a young teenager ( age18)
By the way im a supervisor in a bowling alley. anyway we have this girl that bowls in our junior league that my teenage worker bowls with and she proceeds to nickname this girl TT ( meaning trailer trash) later on the young teenagers house gets flooded and becomes homeless and lost just about everything. her parents bought a used trailer and put it on the same lot as her grandmother. so i asked the teen if she now felt bad for calling the other girl TT since she now resides in a trailer herself. her words came back to bite her on the ass in the long run. im not offended by everyones opinion as everyone is entitled to one. things have came a long way since segregation days which im thankful for. but for some reason we still get ignorance from people who have no class or morals and want to belittle GODS creation. we were all created by one person and suppose to be equal.

[quote - my man is SO black ya can't see him in the dark so don't even GO THERE !!! ;) [/quote]

yeah! and ? still offensive to try and make the n word sound endearing, just be informed before you say things that are baseless:)

Caucausians always seem to think anyone with skin that is not pale is a nigger or find the need make up some type of offensive name....What i really can't seem to understand is that Caucasians continue to do this, but are always so damn quick to run to sun in summer to get a f***ing tan and get dark skin....

I'm not one of those "caucausians" that categorize people based upon skin tone, but I will cop to sunning myself whenever I can. Not an issue with being white - I just look better brown. :thumbsup: The sun also affects my mood.

People will never truly understand the hurt and disrespect of the N word as long as people of color desperately try to cling on to some false sense of pride that's attached to that awful word. My man is white but he grew up on the same street as I did. Needless to say he grew up thinking that the N word was alright for him to say. After being with me that crap stopped immediatly. I told that that word is not allowed around me and I will not allow it around any of our children. There is NO JUSTIFICATION for use of that word by anyone PERDIOD.

. . . But what makes it right for you to say the hillbilly, white trash because all that is doing is going down to her level and saying that is what white people are.
I think you over reacted because I did not receive thongsntimbs description/comment the way you did -- no where near it. It did say the lady was/is white but it did not cover or relate to all white people -- just that one lady.

********
thongsntimbs(sp) You can't be serious that that lady said that in front of you. I'm sorry, but I can't and won't believe that. Meaning, yeah, I think you made that up. White folks down in North Carolina seem so hospitable that even if the lady felt that way, that she would have waited until you were out of view to make her comment.
:spammy:

You can't be serious that that lady said that in front of you. I'm sorry, but I can't and won't believe that. Meaning, yeah, I think you made that up. White folks down in North Carolina seem so hospitable that even if the lady felt that way, that she would have waited until you were out of view to make her comment.
:spammy:[/quote]

I am so sorry but you are down right the rudest person you are just as bad as the woman who said that about her child you my dear can be called ignorant for saying that she is a liar you don't know you were not there were you??????
:angry: :blah: :mad: :angry: :blah: :mad: :angry: :blah: :mad: :angry: :blah: :mad: :angry: :blah: :mad: :angry: :blah: :mad:

Hmmmm.....These racial issues do tend to get people upset.
I think the poster above me got WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY beyond upset, which most definitely proves your point.

You can't be serious that that lady said that in front of you. I'm sorry, but I can't and won't believe that. Meaning, yeah, I think you made that up. White folks down in North Carolina seem so hospitable that even if the lady felt that way, that she would have waited until you were out of view to make her comment.
:spammy:

I have to agree with you on this...to an extent...I am originally from NY and have lived in the south for the past two years... Not to generalize but the southerners that I have come in contact with will KILL YOU with hospitality but at the same time they are the most racist...

Peace and blessings...

I have to agree with you on this...to an extent...I am originally from NY and have lived in the south for the past two years... Not to generalize but the southerners that I have come in contact with will KILL YOU with hospitality but at the same time they are the most racist...

Peace and blessings...
EXACTLY my sweet love - they have earned a reputation of smiling in your face and when your back is turned (meaning when you are out of sight) they will then talk about you. Though thonge said the lady officer whispered, I find it too hard to believe that the officer lady did that while she was right there.

It's my guess thongs may have wanted to talk about the n word but maybe wasn't sure how to go about it. :confused: I don't know, just my guess, because the words and descriptions of her opening post seem so exaggerated that it just don't come across as sounding like the words coming from a sister. Also, it was too odd seeing that she virtually spelled out the N word, when we are more likely to use a lot less letters, example: "the N word".

Okay, granted, a sister may say her son has an ethnic name, but what's the difference between an "ethnic name" and a "very very very ethnic name". :confused: What in the hell does all of the very's represent. If anyone here has EVER heard a sister use the language thongs have, then please do share because I've never heard it. It's for these reasons that I find issue with the post.

I didn't see the incident -- I was not there -- I just read it and I'm a supporter of "believe all of what you see and half of what you read, especially if it's on the internet and in the newspaper." In THIS instance, I have chosen to believe half of what I read and if that's too much for some of you, that's YOUR issue, not MINE.

Imani - All i can go by is what i was told by my MANY multi cultural friends. Please if you want to be aggressive, could you do so via PMs rather than the forum - they really do not deserve to have to read it - thanks.

I'm sorry, but this thread is going everywhere but the right direction despite a staff request to follow the topic. If you have personal issues with someone please take it to private messaging, however, remember that PTO Guidelines/Policies follow there as well.

this thread is now closed.

mrsd