Im a nervous wreck. I have to tell my mother that I am to marry a man on death row. I see her tomorrow morning, and I have no idea how Im going to tell her. When I told her I had just a penpal on death row she told me that men on DR were just out to scam and take women for all they have. How is she going to understand this?? Any suggestions? HELP!

My family had the same view as your mum... only it was about all men that are incarcerated! :( I didnt tell them outright that were engaged at first... i tested the water to see how they would react. Little by little, i let them know exactly how serious we are, and that we're getting married ASAP!
So... my advice would be not to spring it on her all at once. Hint here and there and test the water.

I put it in the news paper and then told my mom to be sure and look at the paper when she had a minute. She knows not to call me during the day because i am asleep. So that gave her all day to deal with it before she talked to me. That might be a suckers way out but it worked. Now she writes my husband every so often to say hi.

I have no idea how you should handle it all, but when you figure it out, tell me because I have to break it to my dad and brothers!!
It's not going to be easy for you, but your mum loves you and in the end she will either have to accept your decision, or make it one of those things that the two of you don't discuss.
When it comes down to it, you are a grown woman and you have to live your life as you see fit, you obviously love this man a great deal, so if I were you, I'd take a little time for the two of you to enjoy being engaged before you break the news if you think it won't be recieved well.

Good luck!

Didn't you mention that their might be some barriers to your getting married right away? If so time is on your side as far as your mother is concerned. I would start to step up the conversation about him and let things happen at a more natural pace since you are not getting married tomorrow, this might give her the opportunity to get used to the idea.

Patty

I think I would break it down slowly, start off by saying your engaged, and then when the time comes down the road if he is ever allowed to get married, tell her then. This way your giving her little steps to get used to the idea.

Ok, so I was at the mall with my mom and sisters yesterday, and Tim called. I was talking to him a bit, and he asked if I had told my mom yet, and I said no, no one even noticed the ring. My mom overheard, and came and grabbed my hand out of my coat pocket and looked at the ring. I hung up with tim, and she said so you going to tell me, and I said no, not at the mall. So I was talking to my sister and she said maybe it would be better if she told her. As I was leaving, my mom said if I wanted to call and tell her, she wanted to know. My sister said she would fill her in on the way to my brothers house. That was last night and I still havent heard from my mom. She knows by now, but shes not calling. I dont know what to think. She cant avoid me forever, right?

When you do talk to her, you should approach her and you must say it all with 100% confidence. She will only believe in you, if you show your total belief! ;)

You wanted your mom to know and now she does. It might not have happened in the best possible way but that was under your control regardless, her reaction is not under your control, deal with it or let it pass depending on your relationship with her. It's your life. Pick up the phone like a grown up and talk to the woman.

Patty

I'm glad I didn't ever have that problem. My mother stopped talking to me before she knew anything about Tony. I did send her a note when I changed my name to his, but she never commented on it. As far as she got with that was to ask my sister if she had anything to tell her. My sister's still laughing about it. Mum so wants to know but hasn't the courage to pick up a phone and ask!! That was 3 years ago.

Rose