I was wondering are there things that you do not share with your guy? I am going through alot right now, and I can't seem to bring myself to write him a letter about it, its not something bad, its just something he cannot help me with anyway. I know he goes through his own thing, and I do not want to burden him with what I am going through. Nor have I been able to write a letter all week, I feel horrible. I hope this passes.

It doesn't matter to me if he is not physically here to help me with a situation, he can still be supportive, lend an ear, give advice, be there for me so yes I tell EVERYTHING. I refuse to treat him differently because he is in prison...

Patty

Yes we are very honest with eachother! We are very supportive of eachother I know he's not here to help me but atleast he encourages me and vice versa. Just because he's anyway doesn't mean I make all the decisions alone!
Nena

Same here, I usually tell him pretty much everything. He is my best friend, my confindant I ask his opinion on household things, the kids, my job pretty much everything. But sometimes when I am going through things, it might take me a minute to get my thoughts in order but when I do I talk to him about it..he asks me, why didn't you tell me you were feeling this way? And I tell him, I just did. So I guess no, not exactly at the time something is on my mind, but definately when I have thought it through. What I have learned is that my man, like most men, are fixers...he thinks if I come to him with a problem I want/expect him to fix it. So sometimes I wait unitl I have found my own fix, then I will listen to his opinion but usually by that time it is a done deal this has worked for us...God I love that man...

Staci

Yes...I tell him everything...no matter what it might be. I dont treat him any different because he is in prison. I treat him as if he where with me I love him but I dont feel that I burden him. Come on I live every day with the burden of him being in prison. He can take on what ever my troubles are & he always gives me great advise & pumps me up with he's love~! Nothing is kept from him.

Ponchos Love

Im in the process of writing him some bad news. I got a job last week, worked two days, and realized my multiple sclerosis wouldnt allow me to work. Im devastated, and this means I dont know when I can see him again. I hate giving him bad news, but its part of the relationship. He has to know these things. I really try to hide my MS from him, but I think me not being able to work a simple job will really tell him the truth

I have been in the same situations where I feel bad putting my problems on him. Weve been under alot of stress and I find myself making my letters all about me and last week I realized he is trying to reach out for my support and ive been missing the hint. I tell him time and time again that I dont want to burden him but he insists that he NEEDS to know when im down because hes a part of my life.
I appreciate telling him my problems now more than I used to..

Overall.. I think they like hearing about our problems, big or small.

i felt as though the problems at home would only stress him out more. i wrote him a letter telling him some things, and wneh i went to see him, i went more into detail when he asked about things. he told me he wants to know everything that goes on, no matter if it upsets him or not. i shouldn't have to deal with everything alone, and he assured me i can tell him anything. so now i do, and he helps me alot in the decisions that need to be made here. i feel better too having him be part of whats going on although he's not here with me.

Ok here is the deal, i had my anual pap smear and mine came back as abnormal/not clear again. I have to go back on Tuesday and do some more testing, and my nerves are a wreck. Cancer runs very high in my family and it maybe nothing but a cyst and can be removed, but in the meantime I just cant seem to focus on anything Im writing about, and I dont want to worry him over maybe nothing.

Liberaldog, i am so sorry. Maybe you could find a job where you could sit, like an office job???

I don't always tell him everything. It depends on the situation. If I feel I can handle things without his support I don't tell him. But if I feel like I need his support I tell him. Sometimes I tell him later, when things are resolved though.

When he was away, and things would get good and or interesting during our phone converstions, the operator would say no more minutes left or calls would get dropped. When it came to writing letters, my hand often would cramp, etc.; therefore, I didn't always feel like going into detail

Now that he's home, I really enjoy sharing things w/ him. I love to be able to watch his facial expressions. However, I try not to share things that might upset him. For some reason, when they come home, I think some of us treat them like they're fraigle. I am so guilty of this. I am always trying to shield him from negative things, employment rejections, etc. I have to realize that he's strong and can endure, for he did 20 + years and came home insane.

Roxy73, I feel ya 100 % :-)

I tell him everything! We feed off one another. When things are bad, he can help me through it, just as i help him through his bad times. We feed off one another and give eachother strength and encouragement.

I have told him EVERYTHING....sort of. Some things that would only hurt him and make him more stressed, no. Like a time when Citibank took some money I owed to them, I did not want to burden him because he was already struggling. I have told him things that I never expected to tell ANYONE ever....and it has made us as close as we are today, and has helped me grow as a person. I think total honesty and opening yourself up to someone is a wonderful experience and is the way you want to build a relationship I think. You cannot build anything with lies or mystery.

And about your health? Yes, I think you need to share that with him. He may be a great support!

thunder, I have that "protecting" thing going on too, darn!

We share everything with each other. At times it's hard to tell him because I know some stuff breaks his heart to hear (habits I have that I'm in counseling for). I think it's great we can talk about any and everything. We know each other inside out. It seems like with every letter we learn something new about each other. It's great :)

BlueEyes01, My thoughts and Prayers are with you! Have faith and asked God to be with you and to help you deal with this.I hope every thing comes out okay. Take care lady.
Nena
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Ok here is the deal, i had my anual pap smear and mine came back as abnormal/not clear again. I have to go back on Tuesday and do some more testing, and my nerves are a wreck. Cancer runs very high in my family and it maybe nothing but a cyst and can be removed, but in the meantime I just cant seem to focus on anything Im writing about, and I dont want to worry him over maybe nothing.

Liberaldog, i am so sorry. Maybe you could find a job where you could sit, like an office job???

BlueEyes, I used to work in an OB/Gyn's office and I can tell you that only aout 1% come back as anything more serious than abnormal. The further tests are necessary as the Pap smear is basically just a screening tool. Please keep us updated on your condition, and only reveal to him when you are ready, we are here for you.

Staci

Thank you Snowbabydavis, Im probably worried over nothing, Im sure everything will come out fine. I'll keep you all posted.

I can't keep anything from him...even if I try to hide it I eventually blurt it out.

I used to tell him everything but the mail got so slow that I found I was ending up getting annoyed. If I was about to do something or handle a difficult situation here I'd write about it, 5 or 6 weeks later I'd get a letter with a whole page of advise about something that was finished, over, dead and dusted and, with a true Gypsy temperament, I'd lose my cool. 'What's the use of telling me that,' I'd say out loud 'It's all over and has been for weeks!!' He has a way of actually lecturing me instead of 'advising' so, to stop my blood pressure from rising, I omit things now. We do laugh at this situation when we're together but it's the only way I can keep calm. He doesn't get told about something until it's all over!!

Rose

BlueEyes01,

Know that we're sending positive thoughts and prayers your way regarding your pap smear. You know your guy and know what he can handle. Right now, you need to focus on yourself, which I am quite sure he would want you to do.

Liberaldog, sorry to hear of the difficult time you've had with work. Hopefully you'll find a jo that's conducive to your work conditions.

I can't hide anything or keep anything from him. We share everything. Even if I tried to hide something, he would be able to tell in my demeanor, hear it in my voice or see it on my face. I love it this way. Honesty and open communication are keys to the survival of our marriage. Without this - we have nothing!

We share everything.

Up until now I have shared anything and everything with him, but I have learned that some things are better left out because it seems to stress him.

I tell him everything just like he tells me everything i know he is in prison but he can still give advice. Even though he can not help me with a situation.

I was wondering are there things that you do not share with your guy? I am going through alot right now, and I can't seem to bring myself to write him a letter about it, its not something bad, its just something he cannot help me with anyway. I know he goes through his own thing, and I do not want to burden him with what I am going through. Nor have I been able to write a letter all week, I feel horrible. I hope this passes. I tell richie every thing. I don't care what it is If a man hits on wants to take me out i tell him. Richie goes off if he dont like what i say. Then he tells me thank you for keeping it open with him.

I've always told my guy everything, good and bad. I'm a very open and honest person, and we started out just as friends and because of that, I didn't feel the need to keep anything from him in fears that he wouldn't write him anymore. He tells me when things are going bad with him, too...we're both very good listeners. Among everything that's happened to me over the past 3 years (losing jobs, moving, being severely depressed, etc.) the hardest thing I had to tell him was that I picked up smoking again - I had quit for about 6 months and I know he despises that.

Up until now I have shared anything and everything with him, but I have learned that some things are better left out because it seems to stress him.I agree! In a captive environment, it is easier to cope with some of lifes troubles "solo" I don't want to be the cause of him catching a ticket......

Exactly..

This is something I really have to work on.

In my last relationship I learned that it's less painful to deal with something myself than to ask for support and not get it. My honey is a supportive man with a strong shoulder, but I still find it hard to open up when something's bothering me.

I tell my man EVERYTHING. No matter what it is. It has helped us to truly get to know each other on a personal level...initimately. I understand not wanting to burden him but keeping something from him isn't helping him to know you and what you go through day to day...it is so hard to finally let them in but believe me IT IS SO WORTH IT!

I tell him everything, he's my best friend:)

I don’t share everything with my guy. Then again I don’t share everything with my parents, friends or priest for that matter. Some things I chose to leave between me and God.