View Full Version : In Love with a violent offender-heresay!


mcarruth
02-16-2006, 09:15 PM
I need some advice on, am I stupid for falling in love with someone that was already incarcerated. My love one was found guilty on hiring someone to do an unthinkable crime against his pregnant girlfriend. I believe in him, but I also have doubts about his innocence. Who am I to judge him, if he did have anything to do with it he have to answer to God not me. I am here for him, but at the same time I need to know someone opinion on my situation. I love him and I believe he is my soul mate. Am I wrong for loving him or his he really the man American Justice calls him. A man that have his way with women(charming women). I feel his heart is into it, I am not naive about this. I just need some advice , since I can't talk to my friends or family. Am I stupid?:confused: If loving him is wrong I rather be wrong than right

mcarruth
02-16-2006, 09:17 PM
I need some advice on, am I stupid for falling in love with someone that was already incarcerated. My love one was found guilty on hiring someone to do an unthinkable crime against his pregnant girlfriend. I believe in him, but I also have doubts about his innocence. Who am I to judge him, if he did have anything to do with it he have to answer to God not me. I am here for him, but at the same time I need to know someone opinion on my situation. I love him and I believe he is my soul mate. Am I wrong for loving him or his he really the man American Justice calls him. A man that have his way with women(charming women). I feel his heart is into it, I am not naive about this. I just need some advice , since I can't talk to my friends or family. Am I stupid?:confused: If loving him is wrong, I rather be wrong than right:love:

robs_angel
02-16-2006, 10:10 PM
My husband to be is in prison for murder 2nd degree and serving a 10-34 yr sentence. I met him after he was in jail, I worked at the jail he was housed atm, I quit my job so we could be together and I would do it again in a heart beat! I love him with all my heart, he is my soulmate!! Althrough........I have been told hundreds of times that I am wrong for loving him, and I think I have heard all the "what ifs" in the world!

You have to listen to your heart! You CAN NOT help who you fall in love with!!! You know if it feels right!

Good luck! You will find alot of support here!

nimuay
02-17-2006, 12:57 AM
I'm afraid that my thoughts would always wander toward what happens when I make him mad, really mad.

Atalie
02-17-2006, 05:49 PM
I do not think it is wrong to love someone who committed a violent crime, or who caused one to be committed. But, I also think the person has to take responsibility for the crime so you can feel he has learned something. If he is saying he is innocent and you think he is guilty, to me that would be a red flag. I hope there is some way for you to resolve this issue or I fear you will never have any peace with it. Good Luck and many blessings.

mcarruth
02-17-2006, 08:24 PM
Thank you for your support..I believe in my heart he is innocent. Everybody else says to me he did it....Forget what everybody else thinks or says. My heart belongs to him, not anyone else....I hope you have a great weekend...Marie

Atalie
02-17-2006, 08:28 PM
Marie, if you believe in him that is all you need. You have a great weekend also.

PattiD1157
02-19-2006, 11:27 AM
Marie, we can't help who we fall in love with. I am in love with a violent offender too. The man I know isn't the person he was 12 years ago when he was 17 years old. We have talked many times about things that have happened. In my heart I would trust him with my life. There aren't that many people that I have that much trust in. Follow your heart. And as far as being stupid.....that you aren't.....you see in a man what other's don't see. You see the kind loving person that he really is, otherwise you wouldn't have fallen in love with him. Best wishes and as stated previously....follow your heart and don't listen to all the "what if's" there will be more of those than you could ever imagine.

Patti

MsAkbar
02-19-2006, 05:44 PM
I am sorry you had to do all that time with your brother. 22 years is such a long time, I am sure he is excited about coming home!!!! He has alot of catching up to do:) It is such a difficult road to run, but it is finally coming to an end. I am sure your family is so happy. Were the visits long? I am sure that helped for you to go and see him, that is the most important thing, letting them know that they are NOT alone in this. You sound like a great sister. I am sure your effort was appreciated. Especially trecking 12 hours!!! YIKES. Honey you are not stupid for falling in love with a person. We all fall in love sometimes, and we cant say who, or wen:o It just happens :). So you can't listen too much what others say, especially when they don't know all the facts. About your info. just be careful, there are all kinds of people here, reporters, people that want stories, and just plain old mean folk. PTO is a great resource for information, and support. I hope you continue to find what you are looking for here:twocents: All the best.


Thank you for your support..I believe in my heart he is innocent. Everybody else says to me he did it....Forget what everybody else thinks or says. My heart belongs to him, not anyone else....I hope you have a great weekend...Marie[/quote]

mrschris
02-27-2006, 03:47 PM
i believe that although sometimes we don't help who we fall in love with, we CAN help who we fall in love with (i had to think about this for a while before deciding this recently). if you and your hubby are happy together than i say be with him. you just have to make sure that his days of doing those activities are over, and that he is truthful about what he says currently. i hope the best for you.

but i have to ask...are you afraid that he would ever hurt you if you became in the same situation that his ex was in? just asking, please don't answer if you don't want to.

robs_angel
03-01-2006, 06:56 PM
I'm afraid that my thoughts would always wander toward what happens when I make him mad, really mad.

I have never been afraid of Rob, ever. I guess you have to know what happened when they caught that charge. I have some friends that are afraid of him and have never talked to him. When I am with him, I feel safe. I get that at least once a day because I dont hind him , his charge, or where hes at to anyone... so I get OMG your not afraid of him all the time... :o

sweetNeni
03-31-2006, 10:18 AM
I love my husband even if he was been charge with Malicious wounding and discharge of a firearm. i believe he did not do it.. but if he did this will not change my felling for him because i know that he will never hurt me or a innocent person. there is always more to every story. some victims are not as innocent as they claim to be. You could love a Violent offender as long as you know he did not hurt anyone innocent. Because if he/ she did hurt someone innocent that just make them evil! Some victims put them self in the position to get hurt or have hurt others( i will never fell bad for a guy or girl that is looking for a fight and gets hurt very bad and them they call the police. Why call the police??Would you have call the cops if you have hurt the other person??? NO), WELL in that case i do not care nor i fell sorry for them.!!!!! but kids, rape victims or people just walking down the street and getting hurt my heart goes out to them!!!

Tepee
04-06-2006, 07:47 PM
I truly don't believe that you're stupid. But I don't believe either that fear should ever be in a relationship. My boyfriend was highly involved with the Mexican Mofia and he's locked up because of Attempted Murder charges. I know he did what he did, but to make our relationship work I had to take a step back and remember who he was before his involvement with gangs and so forth. He's a wonderful man who has never shown me anything but love and respect. In my mind it's to each their own and for me, I have NO fear and I know without a doubt that life is now in the past and he's doing everything in his power to make a better life not just for himself but for me and his wonderful family that loves him dearly. Make your own choices and don't listen to the ignorance of other's. The "what if's" are always going to be there but the BIGGEST "what if" for me is; "What if he wasn't a part of my life, would I be this happy with anyone else?" follow your heart and you'll always get the best answer. God bless and take care!!!

ANEESA
09-12-2006, 08:08 AM
No you are not wrong or stupid. If we could help who we fall in love with what would this world be like? I met my fiance in prison. He was an inmate and I was an officer. We are not in the position to judge anyone. Like you said he has to answer to god for his wrong doings. I love my baby with all my heart and would not tried him for nothing in the world.