hello all
I have to ask but first I will tell I sent my pal some stamps he is on DR and the sites I have been on said to send stamps because they do not have much so I did on a couple of different occasions and I also asked him in a seperate letter a week later if he needed anything like paper stamps or envelopes I dont think he got the letter yet I didnt want to offend and I told him so well I got a letter from him thanking me for the stamps but telling me that he didnt want me for things he wanted me for me and to use my money for my children and to just send lots of me and after so long on DR he has learned to get by I am soooo glad he doesnt want me for things but now how will I know if he needs anything he sounds like he will be to proud to tell me .beag dilis

men have pride in there it may not be much....just let him know if he needs simple things to let you know.......i know my bro has pride he absolutely hates asking me for anything.......so instead i just send it and tell him to get over it....but thats family so its a bit different......just let him know you are there for him.....

angela

When my Whateverheis went down, it was like pulling teeth to get him to admit to wanting or needing anything, so I just found out what I could send and started doing it...when he said that I didn't have to to that, that my letters and my just being there were plenty, I replied that "Yes, Beloved, I do need to, it's the only thing some days that eases this terrible helpless feeling so please, let me do these small things and trust me when I say it benefits me more than it does you."
He stopped telling me not to send the paper, stamps, etc.

Some of my pen pals will hint excessively for money... others will never mention it. I have one that would love me to be supporting him to the fullest extent bit it isnt happening. 3 others flat out refused anything- they only want my time and to be honest i think it is pride and they would not feel good if i tried to be 'nice' and help out. Some men dont like women paying for them... which doesn't bother me a bit :)

i would just tell him i am sending stamps no matter what he says so that he always has the means to write to me. then it kinda looks like you are doing it for your benefit because u want to hear form him, not because you are trying to give charity or whatever men's hard heads would otherwise misconstrue that as.

I thnk it is a boundary issue... you asked and he said no. That is a boundary. If you cross it you arent respecting him, regardless of his reasons for saying no.. he had a choice.