We've all heard them no doubt so let's dispel a few stereotypes here and now:

One of my favorites is that women that become involved with incarcerated men cannot find dates in the free world....

I was having the time of my life, having just ended a bad relationship I had begun dating up a storm and although I had plenty of offers I was not ready or willing to settle down until one fateful day when I received a call from a man who captured my heart, mind, body and soul in one fell swoop. So what if he was incarcerated? Details, details...

Your turn,
Patty

I laugh at the one to, I was doing my thang, having fun enjoying my twenties.

Plus I am a very strong minded, independent woman that doesnt need a man to define her. :)

Amen Willsgirl!!! Okay how about this one:

They will only use you for money

Sheesh I stay broke, yanno?

Women who date incarcerated men are unemployed and uneducated. They just do not know any better.....

Well i graduated Cum Laude from the top school in the country with a Masters degree, and i was the youngest person in my class. I work 7 days a week and volunteer any other time that i may have.
So I guess that stereotye is out the door.

Your turn,
Lauren

hahaha, LMAO hotlatina!!

You go Lauren!!!

"They all lie and say they are innocent."
THEY DO NOT! What most will say is- I got screwed. And one way or another that is usually the truth, be it by the system or something else. But the dang system is such a mess that any fool can see it.

hmm i was thinking while i was writeing pen pals that he would never write me back cause he is fine. I think i wrote 10 of them and i did not get to many responces back and i had forgot i wrote him then the next thing his letters just kept comeing all of the time. the others that i was intrested in there letters did not start comeing tell the last few months of him and i being togather.

I've heard all the above, and I still get some of them when I visit, and even from some people here on PTO, but we all know just how laughable they all are!! I'm an intelligent woman who has always known my own mind and never bothered what others think, and I'm sure that's what really upsets others.

I was at a point in my life where I was able to do all I'd ever wanted. I'd started to travel, got my own home and was independent of any man. I was enjoying life to the full. Perhaps it was my contentment that made me write in the first place. I felt able to 'share' that with someone who the world seemed to have forgotten. I'd worked for the Probation Service here and if I had a pound for every time I'd heard the words 'I'm innocent' I'd be very rich. But it was belief in Tony's innocence that first drew me towards him and that compassion soon turned to love.

We both know we have many years of fighting to bring him home but isn't that what love is all about, being there for one another no matter what?

Rose

i know thats right!!!!!!!!! keep it real ladies....all those fakers and haters need to get lost somewhere!!!!!!

I have run into so many people who stereotype inmates as all scammers, players, not decent company. I, therefore, don't even bother to tell most people about my guy and me. I already know what answer I'd get. I dated plenty of people out here, and never found "the one". I think it's a shame how inmates get a bad rap all the time with people on the outside.

Women who marry convicts are fat, lazy slobs who can't get a real man in the streets because they are so N A S T Y

Yes I overheard this comment one day. Everyone else in the room knew my situation and I was never prouder when they all got right in her face before I could even blink an eye. After all was said and done and she was in tears, I did tell her "well you did get the fat part right."

Patty,

Girl, you were reading my mind. Awesome thread.

Here's another stereotype:

Women that date men while they are in prison have extremely low self-esteem, don't have a life and just can't get no body, etc.

Talk about a bull crap stereotype. I met my friend during a period when my self-esteem was extremely high. I was working at a job that I loved, was traveling, active in a sorority (held leadership position), several males trying to talk to me at one time, etc. In a nut shell, I was just enjoying life w/ no cares and along came someone that truly rocked my world from prison. Go figure.

Dr. Patty, :) thanks for starting this forum and especially this thread. Girl, w/ me around, you will never have to collect un-employment compensation, for a girl knows how to keep her thearpist employed. :)

I luv and respect ya dearly.

Everyone, keep those stereotypes coming.

I have heard all of the above at least once. I just kind of laugh it off. Its funny to me. It does get annoying though.

My guy maintains his guilt! :thumbsup: Hes doing the time for his crime.

Women who date incarcerated men are always lonley.


Yes I suffer through bouts of lonliness, but I don't rely solely on my man for friendship and comradery and I am sure many of us don't, is he my best friend :yes: HELL YES, do i miss him :yes: HELL YES am I always lonley :no: HELL NO!

I'm with thunder on the low self esteem one, the women thinking that they don't deserve better.

What crap!! I might not have the best self image but that is not why I am involved with an inmate, I love him because he treats me with respect and values me, which is more than I can say for anyone in the past. My self esteem has nothing to do with my relationship, well other than he's helped improve it.

Then they go on to say that we're just sad women who can't get a 'normal' man.

Yahhhh right! I have no problem getting a man on the outside, but HE is the one I CHOOSE.

How about Women who date incarcerated men must need to see a Pyschiatrist. Yes I have been told this. My man tells me we are the sane ones and everyone else is crazy.
I too went to college, also served my country in the military and have been head of household supporting myself and three kids for 14 years now, yeah I am a real lazy, lonely loser, I haven't took a vacation in ten years probably and work 40 hours a week. I was just looking for a pen pal not romance either and it evolved.

I'm with thunder on the low self esteem one, the women thinking that they don't deserve better.

What crap!! I might not have the best self image but that is not why I am involved with an inmate, I love him because he treats me with respect and values me, which is more than I can say for anyone in the past. My self esteem has nothing to do with my relationship, well other than he's helped improve it.

Then they go on to say that we're just sad women who can't get a 'normal' man.

Yahhhh right! I have no problem getting a man on the outside, but HE is the one I CHOOSE.


I loved your last few words HE is the one I CHOOSE I second that and very well said whiskey!

I loved your last few words HE is the one I CHOOSE I second that and very well said whiskey!

Thank you! :p

I am so glad this whole forum was started. I couldn't have said any of the above better myself. A lot of people are just haters because they see us happy with someone who is in prison and they can't even find some one decent in the free world.

::: stands up and clears throat :::

::: laughs ::: can't find dates huh? that makes me laugh... i know that i am pretty and confident enough to go out there and find any man that i want... but it comes down to my choice of WHO I WANT... not what everyone else wants for me.

I say to people who THINK i can't get a date.... keep on thinking... b/c in the long run, i bet... NO i know my relationship is more stable and on better foundation (like LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, TRUST and LOYALITY) then a quick late night tip that means nothing at all....

::: sits down :::

Yes, we are all a bunch of obese, lonely, uneducated, unsocial women. I think NOT. I have absolutely no problem finding men on the street. Hell, I got hit on today at the mall. Ive had several long term relationships, am happy with myself, have a full life, I just happened to fall in love with someone on DR.

whiskeylullabye,

You said a mouth full with and such a powerful statement - HE is the one I CHOOSE. This is so true. I chose to be with him after I got to know him and realized that this guy had my back and loved me in all my splender. :-) This is a running joke between us when one of us has been out of character, etc. We let the the other know that we love you in all of your splender and this statement always soften things and we're able to move on. When the other says it, the one that feels offended, etc. ends up smiling. I am so glad that he's home. I am enjoying the adjustment.

I have been told twice I'm only involved with an inmate because I can't find someone in "the real world". When I asked if they were willing to test that theory out on their hubbies, they declined. :D

To start a relationship under these kind of circumstances, we have to be the opposite of almost everything that is said about us.

My advice : When a woman says that to you, just give her hubbie/boyfriend the sweetest, lustfull ,shy, but confident little smile, then let your eyes turn hard as diamonds and say to her: WANNA BET??

LOL!!!!!!
Ya'll couldn't have said it any better. Shoot......I represent my man and I like nobody's business because it ain't nobody's business, feel me? Me and my man were together in high school, back in the day, who knew 10 years later, we'd reunite. My cousin was locked up with him and when my cousin told me who he was locked up with, I flipped. To me, God sent us back together. It was meant to be and will always be. I love him and that's all that matters. Nobody knows the depth we share. I know I could've got a man out here, but I've been single for almost 5 years and never found a man worthy of my time. My baby is all I want and it's me and him FOREVER! Thank you all for sharing............ ;)
Keep sharing............NEXT...........

I heard them all and none apply to me.

1. I too, have a college degree, and law school is next.
2. I was having a ball out there, I never went dateless and I was unattached because that would get in the way of all the dates that I had.
3. I have never been used, i don't allow that.
4. I spend my money on what I choose, he doesn't not decide.
5. He will only hurt me, while we have had hurtful situations, I am still whole and going stong.
6. He will leave you when he gets home, yeah right, that boy won't leave the bedroom to use the bathroom when he gets home. shoot as much as he tries to do now.
7. I don't have low self esteme or a lack of self respect, as a matter of act I love myself quite a lot.
8. I don't feel lonely all the time, because I have a life and I am too busy getting ready for my next visit.

The only thing I do feel is ostrasized (it is a bad spelling day) by people who think of these hurtfull things to say to me.

I've heard the money comment before and it just makes me mad like any man in prison or out could so blind me by his love, I'd just sign over everything I had. As for the no dates thing, I know lots of people where I work going without dates so maybe I should hook them up to some prison pen pal sights. I too have a college degree and a decent job. It was my brains and confidence that attracted my man to me in the first place. There just are a lot of ignorant people out in the world.

Women who date incarcerated men are unemployed and uneducated. They just do not know any better.....

Well i graduated Cum Laude from the top school in the country with a Masters degree, and i was the youngest person in my class. I work 7 days a week and volunteer any other time that i may have.
So I guess that stereotye is out the door.

Your turn,
Lauren
kudos to you!!! Man I think I am scared of you !! lol lol Your a gift to our gender!
sincerely, Patricia

:blah: On stereotypes! I am a gainfully employed, college educated, not over weight or lonely, independent woman who gets plenty of (unwanted) attention from men. I fell in love with an inmate who treats me better than any man ever has. He is greatful, undemanding, attentive as he can be and thoughtful- now if he continues those qualities on the streets remains to be seen:cool:. Through letters and phone conversations we learned what was in each others hearts without any of the usual dating/sexual pressures. He has never tried to "con" me. So to all those stereotyping, naysayers out there:haha:. And to all of us strong, loving, supportive women on the outside:clap:.

How about when they say we are throwing our lives away coz we are waiting for an incarcerated man? Is that a stereotype or is that just considered plain bs.

How about when they say we are throwing our lives away coz we are waiting for an incarcerated man? Is that a stereotype or is that just considered plain bs.

Its BS. I get it all the time. Why are you wasting your life on a guy who is probably never coming home. Just because there is physical distance between us doesnt mean there isnt love, and love can conquer all.

yeah and when they say "you are going to school and will get your degree soon, why are you wasting your time with a prisoner" (not inmate but prisoner. inmate sounds better than prisoner, in my head.

the prisoner will drag you down...all that other crap.

I was married to a tall, handsome, gorgeous, Will Smith look-alike and even had 2 little girls with the knucklehead out here in the free world; but he WAS/IS a jerk! He wanted to be married for the sake of having that safe haven to call home but he wanted to sleep with all of the women who caught his eye. We have been divorced now for 14 years and he still is a jerk. He still has not grown up yet! He can't maintain a job or a stable relationship if his life depended on it! I passed on that kind of life!

I'll keep my Nuro, my inmate loverman - the man who makes my heart skip a beat every time I think of him - the man who treats me like the Queen that I am - the man who is the best husband/father he can be - the man who sends my mind, body and soul to the land of ecstacy every time he is near!:blush::yay::fb:



We've all heard them no doubt so let's dispel a few stereotypes here and now:

One of my favorites is that women that become involved with incarcerated men cannot find dates in the free world....

Love the quote Whiskey!

They need to get it - we were not - We Choose to Love Him!!!

Yahhhh right! I have no problem getting a man on the outside, but HE is the one I CHOOSE.

I hear ya Lauren!!!

I am the only college graduate in my family. I graduated Magna Cum Laude with a 3.86 GPA with my Masters Degree. I am working on Masters degree #2 as we speak. I work everyday. I own my own house and I earn more money in year than all of the "naysayers" I know.

Lauren - Looks like I kicked this stereotype to the curb too!!


Women who date incarcerated men are unemployed and uneducated. They just do not know any better.....

Well i graduated Cum Laude from the top school in the country with a Masters degree, and i was the youngest person in my class. I work 7 days a week and volunteer any other time that i may have.
So I guess that stereotye is out the door.

Your turn,
Lauren

I really like this thread and couldnt agree more that ppl stereotype us all the time

"He's is prison?! Really?!... What'd he do?" then, after given a vague none-of-your-business... "How long's he in for?" as thoughts progress further, next "Why are you with him? He might be dangerous!" (oh and guys here in the free world are "perfectly" safe.)

Then some become philosophers/psychics,

"Prisoners tell you what you want to hear..."
"They all claim to be born-again Christians..." (oh. So this person knows all prisoners whereas two seconds ago they didn't know squat.)

I've been a widow for 11 years -- have been proposed to twice in that length of time and told them both "no." Could get plenty of recreation if I so desired -- the man that I love, lust after, want, need, is in prison.

It's not the da** prison that attracted me; it just happens to be the place where he is!! It's not like I drove by the place and fell in love with the idea of penal institutions and he happened to be the first person in confinement that I met!

Ronnie, You are SO not a stereotype!!

I had plenty of dates and was dating when I met my husband. I am educated and self sufficient, and have supported myself since for 10 years now, since I am 23. I certainly do not need anyone to survive. And I could have dated anyone I wanted to out here.
I chose to be with this one, because of all the men I have ever known OUT HERE, including my brother and father, and all my ex's, this is the ONE man who respects me and is a true friend! I refuse to be a stereotype or a statistic!!

I got this one from my brother,
He just needs a security blanket, he doesnt love you he just needs to feel some kind of love. You could have been any girl who would have given him some time. Look how long he has been in for shoot I'd be hella lonely to!
I about beat him down for this comment!!

HotLatina, great thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

SLyDaddies, I hate that kind of mean comment!

I always tell those people they're actually insulting ME, not him, because they're saying he'd hook up with a donkey if he could... so they're telling me I'm NOT at all hot. :mad: Jerks!

I wouldn't mind as much if they at least say, "Dang how'd that flaky bum get soooooo lucky to have someone as fine as you!" LOL

My other fave line is:
You're putting your life on hold...

Excuse me, since I met him, I've traveled the country, finished the first draft of a novel, worked on a film, won honors in my profession, took care of my terminally ill uncle, landed a dream job and am about to see my niece graduate college... my life sure as heck ain't on hold! Oh -- and I lost 40 pounds :D... and I do date, but I've turned down I don't know how many men cause they just don't float my boat.


I'll say it again -- GREAT THREAD!!!!!!! :D

How about hes just using u for letters to get him thru yer time. Maybe not $ or pictures but for letters. Come on now!!! Some of these are hilarious cause if u stop and think about em they don't make sense. I used to get "come on Bella yer beautiful of course Tommy is gonna write u back!"

~Bella~

"Just using you for letters"??? :D That's the best one yet!!! LOL

I think I'll start telling people "Aw, I'm just using him for letters, hugs and phone calls... poor guy doesn't know he's being played!" :p

Ha Ha Im saying isn't that friggin hilarious. I just shake my head when I hear that and I have to laugh for the retarded enuff thought!!

~Bella~

Great thread.

"WOMEN WHO DEAL WITH INMATES HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM!" I've heard it all. I get alot of negative comments especially from one of my so-called friends. see she was burned by an inmate, well actually two. This guy she was talking to passed her address on to another once he was released and then they started to write eachother. Once he was released, he also disappeared. So she now makes it her life mission to remind me to, "be careful, I just don't want to see you hurt!" I would appreciate it if I felt she was sincere about it. I found him, I wasn't passed on from one inmate to another. So I choose to not even discuss my situation with her anymore or my mother, who tells me, "Oh, one day you are going to meet the right guy for you." And simply reply, "I already did!" People who are not in this situation can not understand it, no matter how much you try to explain. In my case I did not choose to fall in love with an inmate, I was just looking for a friend and to be a friend to someone. But sh** happens and I don't regret a thing I love my Baby! And don't care what anyone thinks.

women that date men in prison are the strongest women alive it's the hardest thing in the world to wait on someone you never know what they're doin or if they are sick or hurtin you can't kiss them or touch them NO SEX!!! you can't have low self esteem to be this strong for someone else

I had some hurtful comments from co-workers at my old job, one said I was just "something for him to do" and another was like "sure he would like you he would like anyone". I told him when people said that and it pissed him off too.

"sure he would like you he would like anyone"

I'm sorry they said that to you nightbird!! I've had some people say that too, it's so mean... grrrrr! :mad:

women that date men in prison are the strongest women alive it's the hardest thing in the world to wait on someone you never know what they're doin or if they are sick or hurtin you can't kiss them or touch them NO SEX!!! you can't have low self esteem to be this strong for someone else

BrideToBe919,

I agree wholeheartedly. :grouphug:


Jala

I find it so frustrating to even try to tell anyone about my relationship. The usual comments have been very discouraging. Almost everyone assumes an inmate is all bad, and not capable of being honest, or worth anyone's time. As a result, I mostly keep my feelings to myself, but thank God for people on PTO and friends I've made from this site who hold me up when I need them.

I have observed the same as kim48. I live in a very small town and the only people that don't seem to pass judgement are the ones who have someone locked up. I actually feel that for the most part, the only people who are non judgemental are the ones who either currently have someone locked up or who had someone locked up before.

I can't believe some of the comments I have heard by people in regards to inmates and prisons. Even some close friends who do not know that my husband is in prison. It just makes me shudder.

If only there was a way to educate people that feel this way. I really am at a loss though and I guess that is why I keep my business quiet for the most part.

Of course when my husband comes home then it will be entirely different, but then there will be two of us to deal with them. Not just me which could and hopefully will make a difference.

Here's a thread worth kicking up for a replay (IMO) bad moderator for bumping a thread, LOL.

Patty

I've heard it all from the "rutter to the tutter" as my grandmother would say (she's from the South ya'll) and at this point it makes me laugh.
To keep it 100%, I didn't always find humor in what I've now come to realize is pure unadulterated ignorance, however, I've become comfortable in my own skin and I'm SECURE in my RELATIONSHIP.
Let's keep it real, how many people in these so-called conventional relationships are able to say that they were given the opportunity to know their mate in a way that transcends physical/sexual pleasure? To be blunt, many couples are so engrossed with one another's anatomy, that they fail to establish that unshakeable foundation.
I have LOVE LETTERS up the 'ying yang', my man is able to communicate effectively and consise, (those 15 minute phone calls are no joke ladies) on top of that, our mental mindframes are STIMULATED on the daily with just thoughts of one another.
So if I'm being used, if this relationship is in existence because of my "low self-esteem", if I'm just too pathetic to date a "real man"...then so friggin be it.
I'm the business in whatever language you want to say it in. And for those of you who might need a translation, I'm saying I have it together.
This choice that we've all made evidently is not for the faint at heart. All the negative talk we get, is really people revealing how it is THEY would handle/address the situation. Its about their own shortcomings and misfortunes.
You want to know was really funny to me...my man is locked up...haven't seen him in sixteen months and EVERYDAY I have a smile on my face. My homegirls? Their men are at home with them, probably at this very moment laying next to them (or not) and getting my homegirls to express even the slightest bit of joy about their relationship without a complaint following is next to impossible....but I'm the one that's settling?? I'll be that....

Shenanyganz, I was not in writing mood much today. But that was a great read! Had to respond...you made my day!! ;)

Shenanyganz that was a good post

well if he was USING me , lol he would be an IDIOT , for I aint givin up nuttin , lmao !!

Thanks Sabana and Clairebell...for having my back on that post.

I came across this topic and had to let LOOSE!!! to dispell some of the stereotypes that are circulating in society about relationships with inmates.

Bless-

:)

One of my favorites is that women that become involved with incarcerated men cannot find dates in the free world....



LMAO!!!!!! :ha: :angry: Please I STILL have someone who texts me ALL the time saying he "misses" me.

Please....

They will only use you for money


?


hahahaha Yeah ok and I am TRUMP!!!!!! :rolleyes:

Women who marry convicts are fat, lazy slobs who can't get a real man in the streets because they are so N A S T Y




OMG!!!!!! Please..... :angry: And I bet the one who said that is either ALL alone or in a very BAD relationship. I would just tell them to STOP HATIN'.


Women that date men while they are in prison have extremely low self-esteem, don't have a life and just can't get no body, etc.



Um.. :angry: I happen to LOVE myself. That allows you to LOVE someone ELSE!

I DO have a life and I want a life with him.

Oh please, if I wanted someone else I would have them.

Women who date incarcerated men are always lonley.


!

Please! :angry: I have 4 kids and a great friend. ( :wave: Hi Goldie! :D )

women that become involved with incarcerated men cannot find dates in the free world.... Not that I can't get a date out here...it's that I don't WANT a date out here...all the men I've run across or have hit on me, etc weren't what I wanted or didn't want the relationship I wanted, etc. Men out here my age aren't mature enough for me. My man is my age, but prison has made him mature faster than if what he would have on the streets!

They will only use you for money...Yeah...cuz I've got the money to spare...(pssshht!)

Women who date incarcerated men are unemployed and uneducated. They just do not know any better.....Unemployed, no. Uneducated, no. I'm highly intelligent and am pursing a higher education. On top of that I am a very analytical person and before I got into this I thought of every possibility of what I could be getting myself into.

Women who marry convicts are fat, lazy slobs who can't get a real man in the streets because they are so N A S T Y...Fat, yes I am...Lazy, NO! And I am DEFINITELY not a slob! I pride myself in how well I take care of myself, how I dress, etc. I figure I have to put up with enough scrutiny on my physical appearance without giving people even more to talk about by not showering, wearing clothes that are too small/too big, or dressing only in sweats, etc. I am NOT N A S T Y! I'm not a whore, I shower daily, I use deodorant and perfume, and generally have a pleasant attitude...there's nothing "nasty" about me unless someone pisses me off then my attitude can get move in that direction.

Women who date incarcerated men are always lonely...I like everyone else has their bouts of lonliness. My man may be my first real relationship, but I know it's something real and he's not out to use me. In the words of Martha Stewart, "It's a good thing." Definitely something worth waiting for. I'm not throwing my life away or putting my life on hold. In fact, my man inspires me to constantly push to do better. Because of him I'm going back to college. Because of him I quit smoking.

How's that for disspelling some of those nasty stereotypes?:D

Sorry So Long!

Yup, I hear all those too. I have some friends who pull me to the side and let me know that "they are concerned about me". They wonder if there is something wrong, if I don't know how attractive I am, or of course your inmate would love you you own your own home, own business, a few cars. If maybe I need to some therapy. I have heard it all. I am like most of you had plenty of opportunity - still do but... no one out here stepped up and grabbed my attention. My guy does it all for me -heart, mind, body and soul - I am there. And no I am not fat, I don't have low self esteem, I aint broke, Not ugly - none of that. I am just a girl who's attention was caught by an inmate, Lucky me!

My inmate caught my attention also...he is a wonder human being and my best friend
wowo I missed alot here...
great thread.... ;)

This is a great thread. Well I don't consider myself to have low self esteem, but who would. I am gainfully employed as a Senior Counselor at one of Chicago's best Substance Abuse Program. I am certified in Counseling Heroin addicts, so as far as game and lies, I've heard it all. I have a pretty good people character meter.
I just met someone on the inside who made a bad decision in his life, but who hasn't? But like I tell the haters, "He who is without sin, cast the first stone." That usually gets them up off me.
And of course I know I'm fine, so being ugly is not even in this equation.
For the haters, do the people in jail who are paying, sometimes excessively, for their crimes deserve love too?

How about:

Women who get involved in these relationships are only doing it for the control. They are lacking something in their lives.

Well the only thing that I am lacking is my man because they won't let him out. he has fulfilled my life and I am in no way in control of him. It is a partnership all the way!!

All men in jail do is sell women dreams... Yeah right I have enough of those on my own free of charge.LOL

"He's going to get out and come looking for you to murder you in your bed." (this was from my sister)

If he's getting out then he won't have to look because I'll be waiting at the gate, and you'd better believe that there'll be bed involved. :D

"you're just with him because you don't want somebody real in your life" (also my sister -- who I'm usually pretty close to)

She's almost right on this one; I don't want somebody else in my life. I've never met anybody as perfect for me as my honey, and now I've found him I'm grabbing hold with both hands.

Great thread as usual, Patty.

Shenanyganz pretty much said it all and I don't think I could have done better myself.
I can also totally relate to Lonely in Co. I'm a big girl as well, but I strive to take care of myself. I'm definitely not hygenically challenged, and while I do wear "scrub" clothes on occasion, I'm usually put together and I try to dress to flatter. I have no trouble getting attention from the opposite sex, so that's not my problem either...lol

I've heard all of the aforementioned stereotypes and don't feel I fit most of them in the least. I AM unemployed, but that's because I don't have to work at this time, and I'm also a full-time student with a 4.0 program GPA and a 3.49 overall GPA. As for my circumstances, I am completely confident in myself and my abilities. I've been clean for over 3 years, I don't get in trouble, I am a dedicated parent, I have a lot of friends, I have custody of a child who is not mine, I work out a few times a week, and I hold it all together quite well, I think. And let me tell you, it's damn hard to be lazy when you have appointments, 3 kids running around (with trips to school and daycare off and on through the week), meals for 6 people (minimum), housework, schoolwork, family, friends, errands, and letters and phone calls. ;) :p
I usually just ignore the ignorant people who say this kind of stuff, but I have my days where I will say something back simply because it needs to be said. I don't think that ANY relationship succeeds or fails because of WHERE it originated, but totally depends on the people in it and the effort put forth to sustain and nurture it. It just so happens that we all have more time to sustain and nurture (and communicate and learn) than many other people do, and for that I am grateful and it seems for that, they are jealous... :rolleyes: ;)

Almost forgot....why do people always assume that just because someone is in prison, they are violent or that they killed someone???
I had someone ask me once, "what's going to happen when he gets out?"
Um, I don't know that you really want me to answer that... ;) :p

Where do people get this $#!t from anyway??? lol

I Agree With All But Check This One. "when He Get Tired Of Using You He Will Find Another Victim" Lol At Them Hatas Because That What They Are. They Want To Judge Me! Only One Can Judge Me (god). Silly People To Think They Know Everything. Better Sweep Around There Own Front Door First.

Hello everyone. I'm new to this site!!!THis is my first posting. I met someone thats incarcerated.I was watching Msnbc one day and seen the show , it was called Lockdown and it was about this guy who was selling dope and on one of his dope missions, he thought the guy was gonna rob him so he shot the guy killed him and robbed him. Well this is the guy I wrote the other week for the first time. At first I was a little skeptical in doing so , but I did. I just loved his swagger and attitude. I don't have low selfesteem and I never wrote a guy in prison before , but this guy was an exception. He has a violent pass he was in a gang, since age 12. I could tell the type of person he was when he sat down with an interview with the guys mother. He appologized for his actions and stated that he know she wouldn't forgive him, but the victims' mom said " Son, I already have forgiven you" She had also talk with him about when he get out to make sure he takes good care of his son, cause he had a child before he went in. But i could tell from the show he's not just cold hearted, he just lived a hardcore life, he's a good person though. Respects women. During the show he states how he still has to survive in prison, so he intimidates prisoners for stuff.If I talk to him when he gets out,I don't know if I'm trying to think I can change him or what. Do u think it'll be hard for him to leave the gang lifestyle with no problem(harm to himself) He is 32 and I'm 21.That's another problem, I think. Cause I never communicated with someone on that level of trying to hook up with someone of that age. He did write me back, got the letter in like a week later and Thanked me for taking the time out to write him. Thanked me for the pic I sent and commented on how pretty and cute I was throughout the whole letter. I blushed reading the whole thing. He asked me to ask him anything I wanted to know about him. So I did send
another letter asking him things. Do anyone remember seeing that series of LOckdown in Lebanon Ohio. He says he dont get letters from no one other than his mom little sister and little son. Cause I told him I bet u a celebrity now and get letters from all kinds of women.lol Does anyone think I was wrong for sending a letter with my home address on it? Don't have P.o box. Another thing I'm waiting on the 2nd letter I asked him what all happened what lead him to being in jail,Do u think He would tell me the whole thing? Him thinking if he tells me the truth I wouldnt wont to talk to him anymore or for legal reasons?? Also can anyone tell me if this is true. He went in Feb.2001, sentenced to 9 yrs. 3 yrs for gun charge. He was charged with 1 deg. involuntary manslaughter and 2nd deg. robbery.He told me He could go up for parole 2008, but on the web it says 2012. He did say If i don't make it 2008 Ill have two yrs which mean 2010. Im confused , who could i asked about this or will anyone tell me anything not being related to him. All help and responses to my questions are appreciated. Hope to meet all of you soon..Bye bye!
Also if u remember Ask peeps who are in lebanon if they know "blu" and ask them what he does and what kind of person he is. thanks so much

I'm sure what they say about me is "seems like she's got a good job but because she dresses like :eek: :hmm: :no: :shrug:, SHE MUST BE SPENDING ALL HER MONEY TAKING CARE OF THAT MAN IN JAIL." So not true. I dress like a bum because my personal style is just different and opposite of "the norm".

Someone back on page 1 or 2 mentioned someone said she needed to see a psychiatrist. My father in a round about way said that to me in the beginning -- he said I need to take medication that they give to crazy folks. Now #1, you can only get that from a psychiatrist, which means what -- that I needed MORE than JUST counselling, BUT MEDICATION TOO!!?? and #2 because already I'm outlandish, that perhaps my announcement of marrying a convict I just met "took the cake" making him say "okay, yeah, it's confirmed, she needs to see a psychiatrist!!"

. . . I met someone thats incarcerated.I was watching Msnbc one day and seen the show , it was called Lockdown and it was about this guy who was selling dope and on one of his dope missions, he thought the guy was gonna rob him so he shot the guy killed him and robbed him. Well this is the guy I wrote the other week for the first time. At first I was a little skeptical in doing so , but I did. I just loved his swagger and attitude.

. . . During the show he states how he still has to survive in prison, so he intimidates prisoners for stuff.
Funny you should say that because I've always wondered when people see guys getting arrested on TV or interviewed on MSNBC and they like his look do they contact the guy hopeful of a relationship.

For some men who's woman direly wants to send her man money or something but he REFUSES to accept it, I always wonder if this is one of the real reasons why. The food SUCKS and so do the boots so I just don't get it. I always think (but not stereotype) "is it because someone will intimidate him into spending his commissary on him or when coming from commissary will someone just take his food bag", so to not even bothered, he refuses to accept anything from home.

It's hard enough to fall in love with someone who is doing time let alone to deal with all the haters who have nothing but problems in their own lives so they want to criticize yours...my sister for example never a nice thing to say it hurts someone who is that close to you to be so unhappy for you it hurts tremendously! Then your friends he is using you cause you got money...Hello what money? I pay all my bills and take care of him with what is left if anything goes to him whether it is through a phone bill, food packages, etc. ya know? No relationship is perfect I think people need to take alook at their own situation and NOT judge a book by its cover!

I met my husband while I was in a relationship with someone out here so I wasn't lonely or looking for a man. I left one to be with him and it was the best decision I ever made.:D

They also say that incarcerated men only get married in order to have frp's or trailers not knowing that not every state offers them and that even if they are allowed in the state that not every facility participates in the program.

She only dates a man in priosn if she is Fat or Ugly or Stupid. Said by a fat, ugly and stupid man who hasn't been laid for a while ;)

the ones that I like the best is "God wouldn't want you wasting your life on some guy in a prison cell after all he could come out and kill you!!!" "You have to be nuts to say you love this man he doesn't love you he's just lieing and USING you and you know it...."

the one that said the first to me was a bible thumping holyroller from the word go... and I said to her... What... you don't love Jesus??:eek:
:mad: OF COURSE I DO!!! she said.. I looked at her and said hummm.. guess you're in the same boat as I am then... :confused: what are you talking about??? You love an inmate too... wasn't he put to death by the state after being taken prisoner and kept in prison.... :eek: that just kind of blows their little minds when they see it from that point of view... you know she has never said another word to me about it... :D

oh and I loved what my father told me.. he said "I don't want him here at my house cause he will just come and steal all my bikes he's no good!! He is in prison you know" ... well duh........ what was your first clue?!!?!?!