I wrote my husband very long, extensive letters before we ever met. Then of course we had our weekly visits each and every week and continued on with our long letters. I felt we both learned everything possible about each other during those times and continuing on.

As time went by, I could see that it was getting very serious and the time was coming that he was going to ask me to marry him. There was only one reservation that I had.

Hold on everyone, I really didn't rob the cradle. My husband is 30 years younger than I am. I don't have a problem with that, but I wanted to make sure that he didn't have a problem with it. He assured me that he didn't. I threw out every possible scenerio I could think of like what if someone says something to him about his Mother, what he might say, as I am old enough to be his Mother.

What if he heard sneers from someone about our age difference, how he might react.

You know society as a whole accepts older men with younger women, but when it is the reverse, they aren't quite as understanding.

I remember seeing this topic on a popular talk show a few years ago and I believe it was a difference in age of either 30 or may have been 40 years. The audience was not very kind and supportive of them.

We do have many things in common and I am learning some of the younger language and topics that I hadn't even heard of. For instance I saw on PTO a thread about favorite men's clothing and many were commenting on their guys "wife beaters". Well I have to tell you, I didn't have a clue. So, I asked my husband and he told me.

My husband does not foresee any problems. He says he will simply tell them this is my wife.

He says it doesn't matter to him and it shouldn't matter to anyone else. It certainly doesn't matter to me.

He says he loves his babygirl, and that is all that matters to him.

So what do you think, will it make a difference?

I am in the same boat you are. I am 15 years older than my guy. I got to tell you I had a very big problem at first but he always reassured me. When he was at home, we did everything together and nothing was ever said about me 'looking' or acting older than him. It has never bothered him, just me. I agree that society puts a label on women like us, or more than that? Believes we are rich or something to attract these younger men. That's a crock!! I certainly don't have money LOL I say, life is too short, if your love and respect one another? Age is simply a number. When all is said and done? It's just you two..I personally? Am grateful to have found true love after being in a loveless marriage for 22 years. Some people live a lifetime and never experience the wonder of truly being 'in love'... My very best to you and your husband..

P.S. My only fear? Is I'll leave this earth before him and he'll be alone.. That makes me sad, but I try not to think about it.. good luck!!

Deb, I understand the fear. My man is 29 and I am 48. His mom is 45. His family has accepted me as his other half and my family has accepted him. Not only do we have the age issue, he has a darker tan than I do. :D I love that man with my whole being......

Hmm girl your not alone i am 40 and my man is 31 i have been hip for years i do not act my age i do not look my age i still ride in my car with beats as they are called. Which are subwoofers and amps if you did not know. i still look very young for my age and i sound young for my age. people just do not know what they are talking about they are to quick to judge and they are probly doing it on the low. some woman go to a bar and bone a man the same night now how many of them do you think ask the men well how old are you anyway when they are trying to get it???? None! people kill me with this age difference thing. i dated a man that was 50 once so what does that mean? nothing One day people in the world will learn how to mind there own never mind. What works for some doed not work for all. them people i am sure get paid to act an butt on talk shows.

I am in the same boat you are. I am 15 years older than my guy. I got to tell you I had a very big problem at first but he always reassured me. When he was at home, we did everything together and nothing was ever said about me 'looking' or acting older than him. It has never bothered him, just me. I agree that society puts a label on women like us, or more than that? Believes we are rich or something to attract these younger men. That's a crock!! I certainly don't have money LOL I say, life is too short, if your love and respect one another? Age is simply a number. When all is said and done? It's just you two..I personally? Am grateful to have found true love after being in a loveless marriage for 22 years. Some people live a lifetime and never experience the wonder of truly being 'in love'... My very best to you and your husband..

P.S. My only fear? Is I'll leave this earth before him and he'll be alone.. That makes me sad, but I try not to think about it.. good luck!!

Well thanks for sharing. You are right age is only a number. I had been single for 22 years and when it happened, I just thought why not go for it. We only go through this life once as alot of people believe and I feel that there is a reason for everything that happens.

I can also feel you on about leaving this earth before there is time to share life on the outside to travel a different journey. I hope for the same thing.

Yes, I believe in these situations where the women are older people automatically think the woman must have money. Well perhaps for some that is the case, but not here. I am a working, struggling woman just like so many others.

Well I do not look my age either, nor do I act it. I still rack up the hours at work. I still enjoy life to the extent I am able. I plan on working for many more years to come. That is just a given with me.

All my best to you and yours.

Hmm girl your not alone i am 40 and my man is 31 i have been hip for years i do not act my age i do not look my age i still ride in my car with beats as they are called. Which are subwoofers and amps if you did not know. i still look very young for my age and i sound young for my age. people just do not know what they are talking about they are to quick to judge and they are probly doing it on the low. some woman go to a bar and bone a man the same night now how many of them do you think ask the men well how old are you anyway when they are trying to get it???? None! people kill me with this age difference thing. i dated a man that was 50 once so what does that mean? nothing One day people in the world will learn how to mind there own never mind. What works for some doed not work for all. them people i am sure get paid to act an butt on talk shows.

Well thanks for the definition of beats. Another one I did not know, lol!

We do enjoy the same music, shows, books, writers, so many things we have in common. I love your people will learn how to mind their own never mind. That is cool.

Thanks for sharing.

Well, I'm 10 months older but that doesn't count, huh?

If it doesn't bother you guys, it shouldn't bother others. When I visit, I see plenty of women who are older than their man and no one cares. As long as they are happy. If it's not the age, it will be something else that ignorant people will make an issue out of.

Hey Babygirl350
I am also 15+ years older that my Baby and we get along great. I have never been treated this good in any of my past relationships. We understand each other and we know what we want out of life and that is to be together forever! Age is just a number and doesn't make any difference if you love and respect each other as much as we do. Good luck to you and your sweetie!

I am 10 years older than my guy and I have to admit I had never been with a younger guy. He is more grounded, and level headed than any man my age or some of the older guys I had dated. I also am pretty hip, I still basically like the same things I always have, I like hip music, clothes and all that so we have alot in common. What other people think doesn't matter to us, we just laugh about it because they have no idea what we know about our relationship...So babygirl...just go with the flow and be thankful you have been blessed with love in your life.

Staci

Since we're on the subject I'm 30 years older than my guy too. Babygirl350 and I are friends and have discussed this many times. My guy, in fact, called me this afternoon, and was just telling me after all these years we've known each other, he loves me, and that my age and his make no difference to him. We realize we are friends, lovers, and partners through all this.

I think age is a state of mind. Like all of you, I look younger than my age, and I stay active, work, raise a teenager, and generally stay fit.

I think you are all great women and I'm happy to be on this forum with you.:)

I do so agree that age is just a number. There is always going to be someone who is going to have a problem with someone for something.

I appreciate you all for your comments. Thanks for sharing.

I dont see anything wrong with the age difference.My father's wife is 26 thats the same age as my man lol.All that matters is that you guys are happy.

My husband is 12 years older than me but no one would ever know...for one he looks good for his age and two, he acts like a kid...literally, one of the things i love and hate about him:D

Hmmmmm I'm sensing a trend here. LOL At 43 I am 15 years older than my 28 year old Sebastian. My oldest daughter is 9 months younger than him and his mother is 3 months older than me. Is it any wonder we all get along so well?

Since ending my marriage to a man just 3 years older than me I have only dated younger men with one or two exceptions. It is just my preferance. Sebastian and I have never had any difficulties related to age whatsoever.

Patty

Hey ladies. I agree!! Age is most definitely a number -- not to mention
-- you are as old as you feel. :thumbsup: I, too, am older than my man. ;) And like Deb, I was the only one who had the problem with it. Not him. We built our relationship on friendship first and recently, this past february 1, made it official by getting married in his facility. I have had enough boyfriends during my years on this planet to know what is what....and with that, I know that Eric loves me unconditionally, no matter what my age is, and my love for him will never NEVER end.

Besides, I use Oil of Delay. LOLOLOLOL :blah: :blah: :blah:

Well, it seems as though there are more of us than I thought. I'm 13 years older than Tony and it used to bother me no end but not now. He's made me realise I'm the only one who ever worried about it and right from the start he'd told me he wasn't interested in someone younger than he was. Even some of the COs have commented on how good we are together so it can't be bad!!!

My very best friend here, who I've known for more years than either of us care to remember, commented when she heard that I was a year older than Tony's mother would have been, 'Well, that brings new meaning to the words "Old enough to be his mother"!!!' We'd met in town for lunch and fell about laughing at that. She said it with such a straight face.

Rose

As long as the two of you are comfortable with it, then don't sweat the small stuff. I'm 10 years older than Mr. and believe me, it took some adjusting to.

Prison makes men older than their years in many ways. Truthfully I think those who fall in love with older women are looking for that stability as well as being past the drama queen stages that "some" younger women fall into.

im 42 and tw is 25...it bothered me at first but not anymore...i didnt realize there was so many of us here.

Robin

Well, there's not a significant difference in our ages like most have posted (I'm 20 soon to be 21, he's 26 soon to be 27). But as most have already said, age is just a number. If you love each other and everything is for you and not against you, then why not? I used to see a problem with age, but then I started thinking about it more and realized how wrong I was. But anyway, that's my input, for what it's worth. :cool:

Hey ladies. I agree!! Age is most definitely a number -- not to mention
-- you are as old as you feel. :thumbsup: I, too, am older than my man. ;) And like Deb, I was the only one who had the problem with it. Not him. We built our relationship on friendship first and recently, this past february 1, made it official by getting married in his facility. I have had enough boyfriends during my years on this planet to know what is what....and with that, I know that Eric loves me unconditionally, no matter what my age is, and my love for him will never NEVER end.

Besides, I use Oil of Delay. LOLOLOLOL :blah: :blah: :blah:

Oh, I just love that Oil of Delay! Got a good laugh over that one. Thanks.

Congratulations on your wedding.

Age truely is just a number. I don't act like an old lady and I certainly don't look it. In fact I have very little gray hair. I still am looking for it. LOL

My Mother In Law is 13yrs younger than me and she already colors her hair, so I must have something going on with my genes.

Yep there are alot of us here in the same age difference bracket.

Thanks all for sharing.

Well thanks for the definition of beats. Another one I did not know, lol!

We do enjoy the same music, shows, books, writers, so many things we have in common. I love your people will learn how to mind their own never mind. That is cool.

Thanks for sharing.
Ty baby girl if you need to know some other slang stuff let me know hahahaha i use to keep up with all the latest dance to and i got older and quit clubbing so i no longer do that. but i do keep up with all the slang lol.

IKEs, thank you. I will keep that in mind when I hear this slang and cant figure it out.

I love learning it. It is just I am not around many younger people in my day to day life.

I hate asking sometimes because I get embarrassed. But hey if we don't know and don't ask, then we don't learn.

Thanks again.

I am with ya girls......I am 10+ years older than my guy. At first it did bother me so he and I talked about it.....alot. He agree's.......it does not bother him.......So I really don't even think about it anymore......except when some smart a** asks how my teenager is doing and I assume they are referring to my son........then they say "NO... I meant Robbie" LOL Really he is not a teenager...he is 29.

IKEs, thank you. I will keep that in mind when I hear this slang and cant figure it out.

I love learning it. It is just I am not around many younger people in my day to day life.

I hate asking sometimes because I get embarrassed. But hey if we don't know and don't ask, then we don't learn.

Thanks again.

You might like this site: http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Sorry for going off topic now back to the age ain't nuttin' but a number stories...

Patty

i am 10 years older than my man age is just a number

Well my man and I have not even fathomed anything but being together, we are ten years apart I am 34 and he 24. His famiy LOVES me no matter what cuz we bring happiness to eachother, that is what is important not the number of years you are, but the happiness, trust and compassion as well as the friendship you share with eachother, My man and I dont even worry about the age difference, cuz what we have together is more important than anything else, he even accepts my children as his own, my oldest is 14 making Travis 10 when I had him, but he loves them all as his own, they even call him dad. To us FAMIY is important not the years that seperate us, cuz I dont act or look 34 so it is all good between us. We actually look the same age LOL

I'm a good 10 years older than him too. I wonder about it at times but I am not as nervous about it as before I found out both his ex wife and an ex long term girlfriend are my age too.

I am nearly 7 years older than my man and it's never been an issue for me. In the past he always had relationships with women much younger than himself. Now he knows why it never worked out and why he couldn't commit. Ha!

I think it's fine as long as both partners are comfortable with it.

I have an example of where it is a problem. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son and I am 20 now. His father was 31 and will be 33 next month. I think that in his father's eyes I was always a little girl though I never acted immature. He told me once, "I have memories and you're still making moments" implying that he's lived his life and I'm just beginning. This really irritated me because I have my own memories and I have lived 20 years! I can think for myself. Besides, I wasn't a little girl when he was getting me pregnant now was I?!

Anyway, besides that idiot, I've never had a problem with age differences and I have dated MUCH older guys. I think it's fun to learn things from them and teach them new things. Plus I like to be nurtured and comforted.

My man now (can't quite say fiance yet) is almost 29 and I just turned 20. I don't forsee any problems because of our age difference. He has been in prison since 16 though so I don't know how he'll adjust to freedom in his adulthood. I get the feeling we'll do just fine.

Age ain't nothing but mind over matter . . . if the TWO OF YOU don't mind, then it don't matter!!!

My real answer is no, it doesn't make a difference. My husband is 42 and I'm 25. We've been together since I was like 18 and it gets better every year.

My fiance is actually 47 years old and I am 28. I don't see any difference because I am really mature for my age and I had a rough life growing up so I have seen alot and I seem to know it all :) But because he is older I do listen and respect his wisdom to alot of things. But as far as our age putting a burden on our relationship that is not happening.

Age is just a number, and I prefer younger men!! Since this such a trend with so many of us, we should have a "loving my younger man" club, if there isnt one already!!

i agree with all the ladies... age is nothin but a #... it's whats in your heart and the love you two share that determines a relationship, not someone's age... it's how they carry themself and act the mature manner they are suppose to.

can't really relate... b/c im 22 (turning 23 next month) and my huney is 26... 4 yr. difference... but i see it as.. even if he was 40.... love is LOVE...

you ladies DO YOUR THANG !!! your as young as you feel !!!!

Hi everyone, I am 16 years older than my husband. We met through my daughter's boyfriend at the time in may of 2003. We just got married on Nov 19, 2005. I went through all the negativity from my kids and family. They all said that he was just going to use me and when he got out he would dump me. But thay all finally came around. And his family all accepts me and loves me. I have never been so loved and happy with anyonelse. I would'nt give him up for anyone. And plus our Heavenly Father knows no age when love comes to someone. We are all the same age in Heaven anyone. We are true soulmates! I think I finally found a thread where I fit in! Keep the Faith! Carol:)

I'm 21 years older. I have dated men 5 to 7 years , and once 12 years younger, but 21 is a whole lot different! I am two years older than his mother. He kept talking about she said she was in bad health. I went to meet her and Wow! there she is in cute shoes, nice orange suit, all done up! she has high blood pressure and arthritis, exactly like me. I am glad that no one will think I am his mother, because he is too dark to be biracial! lol Seriously, he's gone through h*ll, just like many of your men. It matures them. We think a lot alike. He told his kids in front of me that he needs to work on having me dress more "hip". hah! He thinks I should show more skin. I guess he forgets I am in a prison visiting room!
I do think and dress fairly young, but I don't wear form fitting clothes, etc.
I like to think I know a lot of slang, but when he was talking a mile a minute with his daughters in chicagoese, I had trouble following them. I hope that I die first, and he will be confidant and well established by then and will marry a woman his age. I think he will be even more handsome as he ages. He's athletic and energetic. I was like that at his age but I have slowed down. I worry about keeping up with him.

At first I had a problem with the age difference. I am 12 years older than Deon. He of course, had no problem with it. He has always been involved with older women. He told me .."Don't nuthin' get old but ya clothes." He asked me to please put the age difference aside and see him for who he was...a young man with the soul of a old man..and that he is!

I am 17 years older than my love. I have been in a loveless marriage for 37 years. We started off as pen pals only. It was easy to see that there was more there than pals before long. The age thing bothered me, but it doesn't bother him at all.I guess I don't look my age because I caught him looking at my drivers license on visit soon after we met. I asked him what he was doing and he said that he didn't really believe that I was as old as I said I was. Yes, that made me feel good. It has been well over 2 years and I can honestly say that I never knew what LOVE was until I met him. He has a lot of years left to serve and now I am afraid that I may not be around by the time he comes home. If that happens I can honestly say that I have experienced the kind of LOVE that a lot of people never get to know. I'll just enjoy our time together/apart and thank GOD for the time that we have together.

I am 15 years older than my man and he always told me it is what you feel inside and how you learn to live with it...I learned to love him for him and he learned to love me for me and that age is just a number in our lives now. We have been together for 5 years now and hope to live happily forever.

Nice to see I'm not the only one who is years older than their sweetie. I'm 8 years older than mine. He'll be 45 in April and I'm 53 though I'll only admit to 29! LOL Since the day I met him, he's never once mentioned age or my fat for that matter. I do take care of myself and can run circles around anyone younger than me. The best part is all that wisdom you acquire as you grow older! When I was a young gal, I always wanted older men, but now that I'm there - fugedabowdit - give me a younger one any day! My younger sweetie is the best and I wouldn't trade him for all the tea in China - maybe for Ben Affleck, but certainly not for tea! :D

Well I am 24 years older than my lifer... in some ways it does affect us very profoundly.

It's one of the main reasons we're not a "couple."

He'll have a shot at parole when he's 49, and he could still have a life outside, even have kids and who knows if I'll even be alive then. If I am, of course I'll be hobbling into that parole hearing!! But I'm realistic and I'll be happy to see him out and with whoever he ends up with.

I admit it, it's social conditioning, but it's hard to picture a 46 year old guy with a 70 year old woman... even though I saw Harold and Maude three times! How do you all deal with those kinds of thoughts?

With all that said, in the here and now, once I got used to it, age doesn't really figure into it too much.

On visits, we get pretty steamy sometimes. I always thought he'd be embarrassed at all his homies seeing us like that...

He told me, first of all nobody would disrespect him by talking bad about it, second he said they're all thinking how lucky he is to be with someone as attractive and nice as me...LOL

I told him he's such a good liar, but I admit he said the right thing... Smart man! For his age lol :D

I agree qwerty. I have already told him that at some point I would consider myself too old to be with him and I would want him to go on and find someone he could have a family with. I am realistic about the gap, but right now it's not an issue. I agree that the guys age more in prison, and that we have much in common right now. We communicate like any other couple in love, and we plan our future together.

I wrote my husband very long, extensive letters before we ever met. Then of course we had our weekly visits each and every week and continued on with our long letters. I felt we both learned everything possible about each other during those times and continuing on.

As time went by, I could see that it was getting very serious and the time was coming that he was going to ask me to marry him. There was only one reservation that I had.

Hold on everyone, I really didn't rob the cradle. My husband is 30 years younger than I am. I don't have a problem with that, but I wanted to make sure that he didn't have a problem with it. He assured me that he didn't. I threw out every possible scenerio I could think of like what if someone says something to him about his Mother, what he might say, as I am old enough to be his Mother.

What if he heard sneers from someone about our age difference, how he might react.

You know society as a whole accepts older men with younger women, but when it is the reverse, they aren't quite as understanding.

I remember seeing this topic on a popular talk show a few years ago and I believe it was a difference in age of either 30 or may have been 40 years. The audience was not very kind and supportive of them.

We do have many things in common and I am learning some of the younger language and topics that I hadn't even heard of. For instance I saw on PTO a thread about favorite men's clothing and many were commenting on their guys "wife beaters". Well I have to tell you, I didn't have a clue. So, I asked my husband and he told me.

My husband does not foresee any problems. He says he will simply tell them this is my wife.

He says it doesn't matter to him and it shouldn't matter to anyone else. It certainly doesn't matter to me.

He says he loves his babygirl, and that is all that matters to him.

So what do you think, will it make a difference?

well to be honest, it IS something that is there, and people WILL take notice (even WE take notice sometimes) but i believe that any other difference it's something to just take in stride. i think that you two will be perfectly fine together, especially if your love is sincere. my hubby is 10 years older than me, and to be quite honest, i think older men and younger women are only more easily accepted when the age difference is a little smaller. i've had my thoughts about our difference in age before, but to be quite honest, it's something i don't even realize anymore unless someone brings it up or a situation arises that reminds me of it. but i believe that it WILL work if you want it to work.

I say good luck to you all you have found love
what can be more meaning full than that its great to hear
respect shaz

Shawn is ten years older than I am. He is 30, and I am 20. Like he once told me, "Love knows no age". I love him, and he loves me, so who cares about the age difference? At least he is mature- which is more than I can say for most guys I know. As long as he wants me, I am happy. I know you can be young and still be a real woman/man. To me, it's all in the maturity. I'm twenty years old. That just means that I am a young woman. -Natalie

:) I AM 9 YEARS OLDER THEN SCOTT IS... MOST OF THE TIME IT HASNT BEEN AN ISSUE. IT WASNT WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER 10 YEARS AGO. NOW THIS TIME AROUND WE HAVE BEEN BACK TOGETHER ALMOST 2 YEARS AND IT IS MORE OF AN ISSUE NOW THEN IT EVER WAS, BUT THAT IS ONLY MY OWN INSECURITIES!! :) :cool: IF I CAN DEAL WITH THOSE,WE WILL BE FINE BECAUSE SCOTT DOESNT CARE AT ALL ABOUT THE AGE DIFFERENCE.