How do we deal with the self centered people that we care about, and when they call, they dont care about how your life has changed on the outside. They only care about bitching at you because they dont have this or they dont have that. That I'm a "retard" and "cant be counted on for anything." But then be expected to drive 6 hours to get there with their child. Everything that she has needed, i have gotten, i have gone OUT of my way to get everything for her. I am the only one on the outside supporting her. Even her own parents wont drive to see her. And to have them send things to her is like pulling teeth, but in the next breathe tell me if i need anything that they will help..I understand that it is hard for them to have to see there daughter in jail. But then rant and rave at me becasue she needs support!! Karen said to me today that "she'll get someone else to take her daughter to go see her tomorrow." But she couldnt say who. So i listed the so-called support system for her, her parents-NO...she has no friends...then i said her "ex".....she responded " maybe." I dont even know why I am trying. I am being used and abused. She has broken every little promise to me in the 5 years that i've known her.

IS THERE ANY HAPPY GOOD NEWs OUT THERE? or am I destined to be miserable for the rest of my life.
When things go bad, its all my fault. everything is my fault..But when i go to the ends of the earth, getting her the things that she needs, or sending another prisoner cigarettes, becasue she promised them that i would send them. Because she always makes the mess then I have to fix it. I can't < finacially ) be doing this, because god only knows what she is doing to have to promise other thigns to the ohter prisoners......
But when i do all this, she has never said thank you...she only lieks to yell and screa mat me. Because like she said " its all my fault that she is there."

i have never felt so hopeless and helpless in my life. All I want to do is sleep..

thanks all for everything.....

SHE'S NOT BEING VERY NICE TO YOU. YOU DON'T NEED THE FEELING THAT YOU ARE BEING USED AND ABUSED ESPECIALLY THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE OF USING HER EX AGAINST YOU WITH HER DAUGHTER. HAVE YOU TOLD HER ALL YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT ALL HER UN-NICENESS? IS IT TIME TO SET BOUNDRIES OF WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO? IS SHE HURTING SO BAD THAT SHE TAKES IT ALL OUT ON YOU? THAT STILL ISN'T FAIR TO YOU. YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE DOING ALL YOU CAN DO. A PERSON CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH. SOUNDS LIKE SHE WANTS YOU TO SERVE THE SAME SENTENCE WITH HER ON THE OUTSIDE. DOES SHE KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND WILL BE THERE FOR HER? I'M SURE SHE IS JUST SCARED, ALSO.

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE UNHAPPY FOREVER. IT'S NOT HEALTHY...

To me emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse cause the wounds never heal. Karen seems to be selfish not considering what you are going through. It is hard out here whether they believe it or not. You can only do so much and if she doesn't appreciate it then you need to move on. It may be hard but something needs to be done to open her eyes so she can see that she is lucky to have someone like you.

Denim has said it.....it sounds like this relationship is NOT healthy for you. No partner or loved one has the right to disrespect you.

IN MY OPINION - its time to stand up and say...ENOUGH. Karen needs to show you the respect and appreciation you deserve or she needs to find out what life is all about WITHOUT your support.

I spent a lot of years being miserable trying to please others....I see you doing the same thing. Maybe its about tiime that Karensgirl started being her own true self! There's lots of supporters here on PTO to show you how if you want the help. If you want to make this relationship work, there's lots of help with that too. Ultimately its your choice.....I wish you the best and will help you whichever you choose!

mrs. d

Don't let this girl continue to abuse you. She needs to grow up and quit using you. It sounds to me like she's very immature and self-centered. I hope you'll tell her that enough is enough and let her find someone else to use as a doormat. This is probably exactly why she doesn't have anyone else out here who will support her. Doing without support is the only way she'll stand a chance of learning you can't treat people that way.

By the way, you could get in serious trouble for seeing to it that her prison debts are paid. At least you can here in Oregon.

I agree with everyone on this post! You seem to be a very kind hearted person to take care of her the way you do! Sometimes I know that we feel that we have to do it but when it breaks you down emotionally, and almost phsycally, ( because its alot of wear and tear on you) Then its not worth it. Let her see how having someone who is on the outside helping all they can just back off for a while she hopefully will realize how good she has it and stop taking you for granted! Hope all works out!