My family has always accepted our relationship and so has his.Does your family accept yours?Is it causing any problems?

I live in a different state than my family does. I have 3 grown children ages, 27, 22 and 19 and they are all fine with it. My youngest son came last year to visit for the holidays and met Sebastian and they got along just great. He did ask my man what his intentions were and apparently was happy with the answer. Can you even imagine your grown child going off with your man to do "guy stuff" and asking him if he was gonna marry you? It's sweet really.

My parents passed several years ago and the only other family members I am close to are my big brother and my niece who is just two years younger than me and raised more like my sister.

My niece is fine with any choice I make so it was never a problem. My brother is a different story, although not a problem. You see he has been with me through good times and bad all my life and it is in his nature to look out for me. To this day he introduces me as "my baby sister". He doesn't have anything personally against Sebastian but the truth is I could bring Jesus Christ home, he could turn the water into wine, perform a multitude of miracles and my brother would sit back and ask, "Yeah okay but what are you gonna do for my baby sister in the years to come?" That's my bro, gotta love him!

I also have a great relationship with his family, especially his mother. I am truly blessed.

Patty

both our families are very supportive. We get alot of help and love.

Half my family don't speak to me, some of them because of Tony, the others wrote me off before they knew about him. The rest are very supportive. My sister writes to him now and then but can't bring herself to visit as she doesn't want to see him locked up. One of my aunts always sends money across with me to 'feed him up' when we visit.

Rose

"To feed him up" LOL that is very sweet, Rose. Give your aunt a hug for me.

Patty

I will, Patty. She gets annoyed because she can't send him a food hamper over with all sorts of goodies in.

Rose

My kids are not accepting of my relationship and marriage, but they have agreed to wait until he's home for a year before passing judgment. Its not been easy, especially for my youngest, but I firmly believe that once he's home and they see how much he really loves me, their attitudes Will change!

my kids accept him my mom and my step dad how ever do not. my step dad says i am weired for being with someone in prison. i can do better then he starts talking to my mom and she chimes in on you can do better when are you going to do better. but hey you know she was having problems with her husband and i tried to help her with her troubles and she stayed with him after the doctor medicated him down so he can not do anything. but i guess she forgot that so her husband has not been a total god sin. but i love my baby despite what they say. they will get over it i am guessing.

My children are very accepting of my relationship and have established a relationship of their own with him. My parents are acceting as well, they have the attitude that I am grown, I support myself and I know best for me and my children. My mother is looking forward to him coming home as they have no male family to help with odd jobs, and they already have a list started of things for him to do. He loves that. He calls my mother at least once a month, more ofter if needed she is a good contact for him if he can't reach me. His Family is very accepting of our relationship, he mother told me she had prayed for someone like me to come into his life, and as soon as she received the letter he wrote telling her about me, she knew her prayer had been answered. I cried when she told me that...touched me deeply. So yes the people who matter most, are very accepting of our relationship.

My Kids are very accepting of my husband. My son and him are close. It took some research on his case before my oldest sister said...I'll be damned! Now, she does his website. My other sister and brother are both accepting. My parents are deceased. I must say it took my one sister a while to even mention him, but she asks about him now. It really didn't matter, except with my kids what anyone thought.

My prayer was that the person that I would end up with would have a great rapport w/ my family and vice versa. Well, God out did Himself in this area. :-) My friend has a wonderful rapport w/ my mother, sister, brother, nephews, autns, uncles, cousins, close friends, etc. My mother gave him keys to her house and she stated that my friend is in the same category as my brother. They have a wonderful rapport.

My brother and friend have a close brother relationship. They do things together, etc. When my sister vacations, she brings him gifts back. My friend remembers all of their birthdays/holidays and buy them presents.

I have a good rapport w/ his brother and children. They are my family. When I was in contact w/ his mom, we had a great rapport. She treated me like her daughter.

Since his relationship is estranged w/ him mom, I don't deal w/ her at all. She hates him b/c she has never been able to run him and has to be number one in his life.

As much as I know his mother loves me, if she had her way, she would not want me or any one in her son's lives. She has destroyed all of her son's marriages and some relationships. My friend told her that I am first in his life and if she can't deal w/ it, then she can't deal w/ him.

When ever any of her sons let her back into their lives, something tragic always happened. One had a stroke and the other one got locked up; therefore, my friend does not want to have anything to do w/ her. I don't push this b/c I did before and it backfired. He has to re-connect when he's ready.

Unfortunately, my family refuses to even try to get to know him, they are very judgemental and so most the time I feel like I am living a double life. We have been talking about getting married before he comes home but I'm not even sure I could tell my family if we do. I feel like I am grown and it's not really there choice, but it would help if they were supportive. If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Well I only have two family members alive who are close to me and the one stood up for me at my wedding and is very accepting of him. The other family member I just informed here about a month ago that I was married and where my husband is. She really didn't have much to say except for that she hopes that I am happy.

His family is in another state and they are very accepting of me and of the marriage. They think I am the best thing that ever happened for their son. We get along great together. It took me less than 6 months after we met (at our wedding), before I started calling them Mom and Dad. They consider me their daughter, not daughter in law.

I am greatful to have such great inlaws.

My family has accepted him. My dad did have a weird reaction to the diamond ring he sent me at Christmas, kinda cute and funny, like most dads he hates to think of his "little girl" as a "woman." (By the way this "little girl" is 45 yoa. lol) The only one that has expressed any dislike is my brother in-law, who the whole family hates. He cheats on my sister and treats her like dirt. My parents have offered her financial support if she will leave but she stays. So, we stand by and support her as best we can. By the way this guy has a good job, $75,000+ a year, never been in jail, one of the so called "good men."

My mother is pretty much the only one who knows and she is not accepting. It doesn't matter to me though, this is my life and these are my choices, not hers. HIs family on the other hand is accepting, they ask about me on visits and I talk to his grandma occassionally. When I go out to visit him for the first time, it's complete with dinner with her.

It effects our relationship, but not much. My fiancé wants my mother to like him since we are going to get married, but he also understand why she's upset about the whole thing. In the end, we just hope that she gives him a chance once he gets out.

Thankfully when I met Nuro my babies were only 2 & 4 years old so they fell in love with him instantly, just like I did, and he has been Daddy ever since. It took my family some time to get used to the idea. We have been married longer than most of my family who have their husbands out here with them!:p

My family is my mom, and at first she was apprehensive, thought it was a phase, didn't get how I could do it...

she has turned around and has been very supportive and loving, they write back and forth and have created a friendship, she cannot wait to finally meet him!

My family doesn't know...I refuse to deal with the BS that will follow.

My son who is 4 loves him to death, there's no gettin between them..that's really all that matters...

For now.

My daughters know and my one of my nieces knows. The younger daughter is not approving, the older one is neutral. My sister, brothers, and dad don't know, and I don't think they would be very accepting of him. When we get married it will probably be just involving my oldest daughter and his mom and sister, and my niece.

My mother, sister and brother know about him, mom is ok with it I am a big girl, sister is worried he will go violent on me, and brother doesn't care as long as im happy.

His mother and step father are very supportive and have accepted me and the kids into thier lives with no second thoughts.

My kids write to him too and they love him and want us to be married. They also want to go visit him but can't cuz we aren't married.

My family loves him and my mother and little sister go with me to visit him. My mother calls him her "Sweetest Son-in-Law". She wasn't very accepting at first because I have a daughter by his brother, and she questioned my decisions. His family (mother & siblings) accept me because I have been in there leaves for 13 or so years and they know my loyalty. After his brother was killed we have a bond that can not be broken. My daughter loves him even though they have not met, he sends her cards and calls her to see how she is doing. She even asked him if she can call him dad even though she knows he is her uncle. I thought it would be difficult for her to understand but she is 4 and she can explain the situation. I'm happy she doesn't have to have a step family.

Well my family doesn't know and won't be supportive if they did. My dad is a retired CO and my brother is a current CO so it would go over like a lead balloon. Boy I sure fell far from the family tree on that one huh? LOL His family, the ones I know are wonderful. His G-ma loves me to death and I love her too. I call every few days to see how she is doing and so I can keep him up-to-date on family issues. His daughter and I get along great! She lives in another state but we e-mail frequently and spent some time together when I flew out there last year. I will be meetinghis brothers soon with any luck! I don't think I will have any problems there. I have already talked to one of them on the phone a couple times and he had me laughing. My kids know his name and some other things about him but they don't know where he is. As far as they know he lives too far away for me to meet him. They write and send cards to each other and occasionally talk on the phone. I feel like I live two lives as well. Its tough at times but I think he's worth it.

My friends know about him but I haven't told any family members yet. He did ask me to marry him in is Valentine's Day letter. I have no replied as I have not decided. If we do decide to get married, I will probably tell my family after the fact. They should know by now that there is NO talking me out of ANYTHING EVER but they try to, and they belittle and berate me in the process. My head is so hard though, if I want to get married I shall! I'm just waiting until I'm more financially stable so I don't have to ask my family for anything.

Anywho, I don't think they'll be supportive. Especially since I have a son who's father spent many years in prison and they hate my son's father. My BF calls my son his own though (my baby is only 1) and is excited about being a father to him. As long as my son is happy and I am happy, well my family just might have to be a little sad.

My mom loves him to death, she stood in for him when we got married. :) She even takes up for him when I am fussing LOL He just added my little sister on his list so he will be meting her soon, my neices love him to death, The rest know about him and accept him, but they will have to wait to meet him when he comes home.

absolutly not! it has put a real damper on my once wonderful relationship with my mother. Now we just do not talk about it and i habg up or leav eif she asks or says anything. I am going to wait until he is home for a while and established before i bring him up to her again. I can understand her point of view, all i can say about him is he is in prison for the second time and never had a job before, so i guess any mother would worry. Once i can show her more concrete things, such as school and job, and that he wont leave me once he gets out, then i hope she iwll be a bit more accepting.

Oh also i forgot to say she is racist and I grew up in a upper class neighborhood. He is Puerto Rican and a homeless orphan. Talk about culture shock for my poor mommy. She just doesnt know any better, but it saddness me how naiive she is and how many wonderful things she is missing out on in life.

my family is very supportive as well as my friends.... my mom has written to my hney a couple times and my dad says that when he gets out that he is going to have a LONG talk with him.... i also have some of my girlfriends written to his friends in there as well to help pass time...

After going through all that I have went through with
another inmate..
Well needless to say, I dont talk about my new love with my family...
Both my girls know but dont ask questions, I can talk to my youngest.. because she is alot like me, very forgiving and not judging someone for what someone else does to you..

I have lots of support here on PTO and with a very good friend RMD4EVER ( sheila) she has been through it all with me and she was the one that suggested that I best give Risco a try.. so thank you Sheila....

I am very close to his Mom, we talk everyday and I have even taken her to visit with him.. I have met his brother and his brothers family and I met one of his sisters

I would love to be able to talk openly and freely about him to my family but I also respect how they feel also.
But what I also know is that I am old enough to make my own choices and my own life...

They respect that and it is ok for now.. When he does finally come home they will know and see just how happy we are together...


Blessings
Tina

My family adores Travis and is so grateful for him, they are really happy that his family LOVES us and that they want us to be apart of them. My family is so appreciative that he wants to adopt my children and be their dad.

My mom is taking a wait and see attitude. She's not crazy about the idea that I fell for someone in prison, but then she never understands anything out of her own viewpoint. However, she does love me and she knows to keep the negativity at bay 'cause I won't stand for it. Don't think she's told any of the rest of the family so it should be interesting when I go for a visit in May and someone asks about my love life. I'm happy and proud of my relationship and if anyone tries to hit me with all that what are you doing to your life crap, I'll point out all the horrible relationship stories of cousins, friends, nieces and nephews who chose to find love with someone on the outside.

At first, none of my family except my real dad approved! :( They couldnt understand the logics of me being with him. Now a few years later, they still dont fully accept the relationship but theyre coming around to the idea that he is the one makes me happy. Once he comes home and get to know him, im sure that they will come around a little more (Im hoping).
My kids love him to pieces and see him as a father figure.

ahh boy i'm glad i found this thread... lol.. my mom is supportive of me... not him that much.. she's talked to him a couple of times when hes called.. now my dad thats a different story he just flat out doesn't like him and he lets it be known.... when he first got locked up my dad was throwing his letters away and everytime he calls or i go for a visit its a huge fight ( i still live with my parents) i mean i can understand to a certian extent y he dislikes him... gary has put me through a lot.. which i havn't deserved... but i try to tell me dad that i chose to stand by him and he tells me im stupid and i say "no dad i'm not stupid im just in love" but anyways yes i am my dads little princess still.. i'm 18 and have three year old daughter (by gary) but i'm still his princess no one will ever be good enough for me...but about 2 weeks ago he picked a arguement with me about gary and most of the time i just sit quitely and let him vent but this time he crossed the line.. he was saying very hurtful things.... and i lost it and started crying.. i looked him right in the eyes and said " okay dad it's not okay for gary to hurt me but it's okay for you to hurt me" and i left the house.. ever since that thinks seem to be getting better... i think what it comes down to is that he wants the beset for me nd he wants me to fullfill all my dreams and he thinks garys holding me back which he isn't... i'm free to live my life.. my theory is that everyone deserves a second chance... and this is gary's second chance (not really like 100th chance but anyways it's his last chance).. if he loves me like i know he loves me he will change for good if not that God will get me through it... my parents were married 7 years divorced 7 years... my dad had remarried my mom was engaged and they realized that they still loved each other and got back together after all that time and got remarried and have been together ever since..... so while doesn't gary deserve a second chance.. that's what i want to say to him but i don't... well ladies thanks for listening, it felt really good to get that all out

My fiance and my family are quite close they send him cards and write to him often. My mother always talks about him she is the reason that we are still together, because there was a time where I just got tired and stressed from waiting so she kept in contact with him. As for his family I have talked to his mother once or twice and I plan on trying to get to know her better because that is something that he wants for me to do and I think that it is important that I do it. I regret the fact that I didn't get to know his parents sooner because his father passed away 4 days ago and I never got the chance to meet him.

I guess what I have come to realize since my husband was arrested and ultimately sent to prison until 11/07 is that parents are not required to have unconditional love when it comes to their children or grandchildren. My mom passed away when I was 18 (now 32) and I know that she would've been less judgmental than my dad and step-mom are. They are all about "appearances". And you know, I can handle the fact that they have issues with me but how they are totally unable to see their grandchildren, ages 6 and 3 is beyond me. It has been over a year since my dad has seen the kids and almost two since my step-mom has seen them. We even live in the same town! My only sister jumped on that bandwagon and are buddying up to them. It's pitiful but I finally had to let it all go and live my life and raise the kids the best I know how on my own and teach them good morals. I am very proud of how I view others and am not afraid to admit that my husband is in prison for a substance abuse addiction. Don't we all have problems of some sort or another? I have a saying that I repeat in my head every time I think about how angry I am at them. Maybe it can help you too!
I would rather be who I am than to be like them!!!:yes:

It took some time, but all but one of my kids are accepting of him now. My youngest son still thinks he wont come home to me when he gets out, but I know that my man loves me with all of his heart and soul. He said if he was'nt serious about me he would'nt have wanted me to meet his family. We are closer than I am to my own sister and brother. My two oldest daughters were at our wedding. Love, Carol:)

Well, my Mom is happy for me. One brother is a little jealous of Juan & I. My other brother introduced us, so he obviously doesn't have a problem & actually thinks it's funny. Telling my Dad will be hard. I say 'will be' because I haven't gotten up the nerve yet. He's seen his picture & letters, but hasn't said anything. That's his style. I'm "daddies little girl" so it's always been hard to talk to him about guys. His only problem is that Juan's an inmate. Even when I get around to telling him I know I won't hear a bad word about my relationship with him directly. That, I'll hear through the grapevine. Though I know some day when they finally meet, he'll like him.
As for Juan's family, I'm not sure who all knows about me. He say's his Mom "can't wait to meet her future daughter in law." I'll be meeting both of them for the first time on the same day. Can we say nervous?? :eek: No pressure though.:rolleyes: