Welcome to the "Met While Incarcerated" forum. Please tell us as much or as little as you like about yourself so we can all get to know and support one another better.

Patty

Hi my name is Patty and I originally met my man during the Summer of 2003 via a misdialed call from County jail. We hit it off and began writing and talking on the phone and in December of that year I came face to face with him in a crowded visiting room.

We did 14 months together before his release. Things were great when he came home although the conditions of parole and lack of employment opportunities became a burden very quickly. In January 2006, 16 months after his release he went back to prison and will max out and I find myself waiting again in this next chapter of our lives...

It is often said that these types of relationships don't stand much of a chance. I have to say I've never been fond of being a statistic so perhaps that is why I try harder, not to mention the fact that he is worth it. I could go on and on but I'm gonna give others a chance to introduce themselves. I look forward to getting to know everyone who "Met While Incarcerated".

All the best,
Patty

Ok I'll go first most of you know I met my man while I was a c/o in the institution were he was. That was over two years ago. The full story is in another thread. Patty you are right there is a whole new set of issues when you meet your man while he is down. First and foremost alot of people think just because you met him that way he can't love you. He is using you. The usual stuff we all hear. But that can be percieved two ways. He also didn't disrespect us by commiting a crime while in a relationship. Didn't choose crime or drugs over us. So there are good and bad either way you look at it.

Thanks for making this forum. I look forward to many good threads.

Ravenslove

I met my fiancé through a pen pal ad. I did not respond to the ad hoping for a relationship, it was the exact opposite, I was looking for a friend who wouldn't judge me. I found my best friend and soulmate. We haven't met yet, but I plan on going out there this summer, and moving to be closer to him so we can start our life together when he gets out.

We have been together for over a year now, and are engaged.

Many people think I am crazy because of this relationship, but when there is a connection as strong as the one we have, you can't deny its exsistance. I have faced a lot of critizism all over the place because of our relationship and the circumstances surrounding it, but I wouldn't have met him if it wasn't for this.

I'm glad to see that we have a forum where we can talk about issues that pertain to this kind of relationship!

I also met my fiance while working as a deputy in our county. I worked at the jail he was incarcerated in and he was one of the trusty's. I used to pick on him and he thought I was so stuck up. I would go out and smoke in the rec yard where he was housed and even though he hates cigarettes he would come out and sit with me. We started talking and when he was shipped to prison I quit working at the jail. When he was released from prison, I went with his mom to pick him up. After a short friendship, we began what has turned into the most powerful relationship other than motherhood I have ever been a part of. He recently went back to jail and has since been transfered to prison. He is up for parole right now and if he is denied we will not be reunited until 06-09-07. We have been unable to visit each other during this 10 months of his being in jail because of the county jails "immediate family only" rule. Once he is finally released we will marry and become "joined at the hip". He is my best friend, my soulmate, and a big part of my future.

5 years ago I answered a pen pl ad and began what was a 3 year relationship with a lifer in Michigan. The relationship was hard due to the different states we were in. It ended for alot of different reasons, but not because of the time he had to do.
2 years ago I began communicating with Kevin, who is my guy now. Things developed with us steadily and we've been through some bad things together. We were looking for his release last August, but the parole board didn't see it that way. He's due to be released this August. We've had quite a few things come up, but we have the type of relationship that just moves on through it all.
I look forward to hearing the stories from everyone and seeing this forum grow.

Hi all :) I'm with whiskeylullabye (apologies if i spelled that wrong - its 12.18am here lol) anyhow, i got bored one night last summer, was surfing around the net, and landed up on a prison pempal site. Tell you the truth - my best pal's husband was 'inside' (as we say) for 12 months over here in the UK. Anyhow, was looking around for a UK penpal site - couldnt find one and google kept bring up US ones - so being nosey, i popped in - two days later sent an email off (they forward them) and Adrian replied.
At the time, was going through a REALLY bad time with my ex (the childrens dad) and a couple of letters later - i poured it all out (court and custody was looming) - Adrian was just SOOOOOOOOO caring and understanding and came out with sucj FANTASTIC advice and support that a bond developed.
Looking back i feel SO selfish - there is HIM stuck in a cell and going through all that he does, and HE was supporting ME !!!

Well, things calmed back down here (the ex got zero contact) and it dawned on me - this guy had been SO selfless and caring - like NO-ONE had ever been for me before.
Well - as the months went by, we've got closer and closer and well....time will tell (and BOY do we have LOADS of that - he's not up for his first parole until 2019) :D

Hello all I met my mom threw his grandmother,my mom and her are good friends.I didnt even want to write him but they kept telling me how lonely he was.Writing him was the best thing I ever did,He's not only the love of my life,he's also my best friend.

I'm lisa and I ment my sweetie billy thru a penpal ad. we've been talking for a few months. we are waiting to hear the decision of his first parole hearing. we have so much in common and am looking forward to knowing him on the outside.

Good Evening! I am Ronnie and I met my husband, Nuro, thirteen years ago inside. I was visiting my cousin. My cousin and I walked into the photo room to have our pictures taken and there he was. He was the "picture man" that day. Our eyes met and we were smitten from that point on.:D He slipped me his number without my cousin knowing and 6 months later we were married. We have been living this life, loving strong and going strong since.:thumbsup:

Hi everyone. I met my man through a friend. (We wont go into that right now.LOL:) LLOOONNNGG story:) ) We have been talking for 3 years almost. I still have not met him face to face but hopefully that will happen sooner then later. Its hard to believe that I can miss him as much as I do, without ever "meeting" him, but I do. :) When we started talking I definately was not looking for a new relationship but I fell in love, what can I say.:D Now I can not imagine my life without him in it. Some things are just meant to be, I guess. ;)

Ronnie, I have seen you around and had no idea you met that way of have been together that long. How romantic!

I love reading your posts.

Maria

ps how are you losing your weight and keep going your doing great. I always check your ticker.

Hello to all the other people on this forum. It looks like it will be a fun ride here.

Hi there I met my pal through a member of a pen pal site and she had asked me to write him and I did, we started off real slow, just getting to know one another and our feelings grew gradually. Its not something that happened over night. And for those who say "you don't really know your man" well... I think we can all come to the conclusion we know our men pretty well, people on the outside sometimes dont even know their partners very well. We now have been talking about getting married and all that good stuff. I am planning to go visit him in June I think, it will be my first visit. I cannot wait. He is my best friend. And I cannot see my life without him. And no one can tell me different :)

Hi everyone

Love this forum :)

I met my Erin through a penpal ad.
12 years ago I was in college taking a few psychology courses and this one particular course was "criminal psychology". The students and teacher were talking about how cool it would be to have the insight of a prisoner into the prison system in the US - if we could somehow start writing to one. That was before the internet so nothing happened with this back then.

Well, I was browsing on the net one night over 3 years ago and stumbled on a prisoner penpal site and instantly remembered that class I took. Browsed through about a 100 ads and Erin was the only one who caught my attention, both because we're the same age and also because he was incarcerated in the same year I lived in the US.
So I wrote him, told him about the course I took a long time ago and if he was willing to answer my ignorant questions, he replied more than willing to - said that he liked my interest in this. So we gradually became very good friends, I went to visit him and we fell instantly in love at that 6 hour visit.

I've only seen him face-to-face this one time but we have been dedicated to each other ever since. He will get out this year or early next year. He's going to work and go to school when he's released. I'm going to finish my school and we'll take it from there. That will give him time to readjust to society on his own terms and it will give us time to evolve our relationship gradually into a "normal" relationship without too much pressure on him.

I love this man with everything I've got and obviously we want to be together yesterday - but we don't want to be part of the break-up statistics so we decided to let time work with us instead of against us. Either it will work out this way or it won't. But we're optimistic :D

Hello all !!

Rob and I met while I worked at the regional jail in the medical unit :) We talked non stop for months til I decided to quit to be with him. Before I did he asked me to marry him on his knees in booking in front of COs lol they all knew us and that we were going or were together they for the most part was happy for me!

We are to be getting married this year we are hoping! I cant wait! He is my soulmate and I knew that from the first time we met! He makes my heart melt! I love him more than words can say!

So, hello to all who know me and Hello and welcome to those that dont!!

Sarah Moats
A.K.A DUBZ baby girl

I forgot to say I think its really great we have this part of the forum where we can come and talk and help eachother :) Im sure Im going to need it. :)

Rob's Angel Congrats on your upcoming wedding.

Hi,

I've been a member of PTO for a long time. I originally met my guy when a friend's daughter asked if I wanted to write an inmate. We started writing 3 years ago this month. He is a lot younger than I, and several times, for his "own good" I tried to call off our relationship and I tried to move on, but I always ended up hearing from him, and writing to him again. I finally admitted to him, and myself, that I love him and now things are finally great between us.

In the beginning we had a lot of problems with requests he made of me, but I set him straight, and at times, lost contact, but we have talked it through, he has apologized and we've moved on.

I have met him when he was closer to where I live. Now I will see him again when I can. We talk on the phone several times a week and I write him every day. We have plans for the future.

So, there's my introduction! This is a good forum where those of us in this situation can talk.

I just found this forum. Thanks, Patty, for pointing me in the right direction.

I met Tony through replying to an ad in my Amnesty International magazine. It was for one of the many organisations that befriend those on Death Row. They were asking for writers who could make life a little better for someone who had nobody in their lives. I was given Tony's name and address and promised myself there was no way I was going to fall in love. Famous last words!! As the months passed I realised I was falling for this guy, and I was convinced of his innocence. When he asked me to marry him in 2002 there was no hestation on my part. I'd found my soul mate and nobody could convince me I was wrong. Tony asked that we waited until after we knew what Ryan was going to do, and we are both sorry we decided to do that. In 2003 Menard stopped all marriages. If we hadn't waited we would be legally husband and wife now, As it is I changed my name to his 3 years ago and I'm accepted as his wife and down as his next of kin in all records.

As Illinois inmates aren't allowed overseas phone calls we have to rely on the mail service to keep in touch but as I get over 2 or 3 times a year that's really not so bad. I could move across the pond but your lack of health care puts me off doing that, plus Tony really wants us to live in England once he's exonerated, which he will be, it's just a question of time!!

Tony is younger than me and sometimes that does concern me but once we're together it doesn't matter at all. I only worry about it when I'm not with him and he gets quite annoyed with me if I mention it, so I don't anymore.

PTO keeps me in touch with what's happening in Illinois and I'm very pleased I found it.

Rose

Hey everyone!!

Well, 8 years ago I got a letter from a stranger. He had my name and address as he was friends with my ex b/f. When he found out that Scott and I were not together any more he wrote me a very nice letter. I answered with anger, pain and was just plain rude to him.

The next day I felt guilty about being so nasty to a man who was simply asking for a pen pal so I wrote back and apologized. We actually fell in love before we even had pictures of each other. We met close to a year later and that only cemented our relationship and love.

We married in 2000 and have gone thru some tough times, but what ever happens we get thru it. Mr. D will be home in May so those unknown steps will take place. I know everything will be tough, but we'll make it!!

I'm looking forward to this forum and talking about the unique things we share here!

Hey everybody, as some of you already know I met my guy while he was incarcerated and I worked as a nurse at the facility. When I joined PTO, I knew nothing of being in a relationship with an inmate, the roller coaster ride I had willingly, by falling in love, had just climbed on. And a roller coaster ride it has been, I learned so much through you all here and through him there. I am glad this forum is here for us, thanks to everybody who answered my posts, gave me information, gave me support, who replied to my PM's, esp you Patty...I will continue to come back here to offer support and information even after he comes home...

Staci

I have been with Ike for 6 for 6 months i had answered a pen pal add and he kept writeing me and telling me that i would never be disappointed. he kept writeing me and asking me when i was going to come and see him and i would never answer him. so i called myself sneaking down there with out him knowing i was coming. so i went down there the guards there are kind of rude i enjoyed my time with him but i was upset cause we did not get to take pictures. the camera guy was out playing ball instead of in the visiting room doing his job. anyway i am off track. i wrote him and 4 others i got his letter which he was the one that i hoped to be with and look at me now i have him. he tried pushing me away and everything after awhile he just quit doing it.

I was sure this forum wasn't here yesterday !!! Obviously it was opened during the European night while I was sleeping like a sweet lil angel. :D

Hi everybody :wave:

I'm Phil and I met Joey beginning of March 2002 on a penpal ads website. It was a rainy afternoon and I was surfing the web from one site to another the same way you move from one word to another when reading a dictionnary.

It was something very unusual for me, I didn't know inmates could put ads on the net and actually I didn't know ( care ?) much about inmates. The only thing I had ever done was to fight against the DP which was eventually abolished in France in 1981. :)

Anyway, the curiosity killed the cat so I clicked on the first URL, and there he was. :D They were displaying some pics of inmates on the homepage and Joey was one of them. And he was THE ONE. :D I then clicked on his pic to read his ad, and that's where I found out that not only he was cute but he was also gay. :)

His ad was about his age, the reasons why he was incarcerated, what he liked and that he was looking for friend and not a lover since he would be released in 2012.

I was not looking for a friend let alone for an incarcerated lover :rolleyes: but I decided to read the other ads and ended up spending like 2 or 3 hours on this website !!! :eek: :rolleyes: Of course I would keep checking Joey's ad again and again. :p

Then I started a letter then stopped then start again stop start and so on.... He was looking for a friend and at this point I had no idea whether I would be ready to commit for a long term penpal friendship. Writing letters seemed awkward to me as I usually called or e-mailed people. Also I wanted to be sure I could be a true friend, not one who's writing for like 2 or 3 weeks and then stops because he's too lazy or has something better to do. So I did not write the letter. I did it on the following day. :p I almost thought about that the whole night and then I wrote him a 2 pages letter. :)

I got his answer on March the 19th. I was in Le Mans attending an antics fair in the morning and when I got back to Paris in the afternoon there was this strange letter with this big red stamped mark on it "mailed from a state correctional institution". :)

I read his letter over and over. He was so surprised to get a letter all the way from France. :D I answered him the same day and it all started... :) We fell in love end of May and almost 4 years after we are still together. :)

I visited him for the first time last November (it was AWESOME !!!) and will come back next May. :)

Phil

Hello everyone.

Some of you might know that I met my friend when I visited the prison w/ my job (1990) for a community outreach initiative. I must admit, at first I was not too impressed w/ him. I thought he was arrogant and pushy. A week after the event, I received a letter from him at my job. I was shocked. I replied b/c I did not want him to think that I thought he was beneath me. Don't ask why this mattered. :)

Prior to meeting him, he had been in 8 ½ years. Over the course of the years, we communicated via writing only as friends. As the years progressed, we began to exchange feelings of love. Once this occurred, I visited him.

We kept in touched, talked about our feelings our future, etc. Somewhere along the way, I became weary and only focused on the friendship and lessened my visits and correspondences. He always told me that whenever he came home, he would look for me. I thought, yea right. I just knew that I would have been married when he came home, b/c he was looking at an additional 10 years, etc.

During this time I had been in several relationships; however, for some reason, they just did not cut the mustard; even though they had good jobs, well off financially, had their own homes, businesses, etc. I just couldn’t connect and was not interested in marrying any of them.

Well, 12 years later (2002), he was released and he did call. I was surprised when I heard the message, especially when there was no operator in the background. :)

He was pre-released to a half way house I visited one week after his arrival and we talked as friends. Well, we began to re-connect and decided to start off as friends and see where things would lead us.

What’s so strange about all of this is because a few years prior to meeting him, I attended a singles retreat at my church; only b/c the committee that I was on had sponsored the program. One of the female speakers stated that some of us in the audience would marry men who had been in prison. Man, when she said this, I got so angry b/c I felt the nerve of her and why would she say that to us, b/c she was not providing any hope. I automatically shut her out. She went on to say that we needed to pray our husbands out of prison. I thought, such foolish talk.

A few years after the singles retreat a female minister ran a revival at our church and stated that some of us would marry men that had been incarcerated and that we needed to pray our men out of prison. Talk about seething. Again, I became angry and felt that they were not providing any hope, for why would we want men who had been in prison (this was my thinking before my encounter w/ my friend). She was speaking from experience, b/c she met her husband while he was incarcerated and stated that great men come from prison.

I never thought about those two meetings until a few years ago and had to laugh. :-) Seeing as though I was one of the women in the audience who ended up w/ someone who had been in prison. I was able to inform both of the women that their words had come to life and what I thought about their words when I first heard them. They laughed. :)

When I look back on things, I realize that God has a great sense of humor and was preserving me for one that he had ordained for me. I have no regrets w/ my choice and am extremely happy that he is in my life. Now, there are days when the man works my nerves, but I love me some him. :)

I know that he is my soul mate and daily, I thank God for allowing us to me. I often tell my friend that I am grateful for his badness, b/c this is how we met. :) He has been consistent from the time we've developed our friendship/relationship. He is a man of his word.

He is a wonderful man and I would not change him for anything in the world. When men try to talk to me, I automatically let them know that I am with someone and would not do anything to jeopardize what I have with him. I know that he’s a gift; therefore I am extremely appreciative of what I’ve been blessed with.

Oops, didn’t mean to bore you or post to much but when I saw the thread, it brought out so much in me.

Patty, as always great post. You always provide posts that get us to think; therefore, providing therapy sessions. Girl, I owe you. I know my tab w/ you is over due and high. I'll see you at my next thearpy lesson. You probaly wondering when am I going to get up off this couch. :-) Well as long as he's on parole, I am quite sure I'll always need some type of therapy. :-)

Have a great day everyone.

Well actually I met my husband quite by chance. I had been writing a friend of his whose ad I answered. There was never anything more than friendship with us, as I was not interested in him only to write him and perhaps try and cheer him up as he has no family alive on the outside.

Anyway during that time, he sent me my husband's picture as he wanted me to have some copies made for him. Which I did and sent them back to my pen pal.

I always would ask how he was doing and if there was anything else I could help with to let me know.

Well my pen pal moved to another prison and our relationship soured and I knew it was over between us.

So, I wrote my husband just to inform him that we had broken up, but if there was anything that I could do for him, to just let me know and I would try to do it.

I got a letter three days later, asking me if I would write him since I was no longer involved.

I thought why not, I love to write and perhaps I could help him out with friendship as his family lives in another state and had only been to visit once.

Well the letters just kept getting longer and longer and they were more like novels.

I found myself sharing and caring and opening up to him as if he was a long lost friend. Here in Kentucky you can only be put on a visiting list twice a year during certain months. So, I believe it was somewhere between 5-6 months before I could visit. Then things really blossomed.

That first visit was kind of scary for me, but we had both seen pictures of each other, so due to a nice group of visiting officers, we had a really great first visit.

I can't really say it was love at first site because I certainly was not looking to get married again. I had been divorced for 22yrs by then and quite comfortable with living alone.

But you know how it is when that love bug bites, it bites hard and we were married the following year.

I love my husband with all of my heart and I only wish that he were home with me. It is so tough leaving him behind each week.

This too shall pass though, because they can't keep him forever. Long enough, but not forever. I long for the day when my phone will ring and he will be on the other end telling me to come pick him up.

Really he said he had thought about surprising me and just showing up at my door. I told him don't even think about it. As if he could really find me as he hasn't a clue about the area and they certainly don't have access to maps in there.

I thank God everyday for this chance to love again and be able to share my love with another caring person who loves me equally back.

Who is next? Great forum Patty. Thanks for giving birth to it.

he knew my then husband. We would talk on the phone (platonic) and write letters. It was based purely on friendship. I was always there to hear him out when he had a bad day or whatever and he was there for me too.

Last year my ex left us for another chick, and he comforted me. Months later we admitted that we like each other and we're getting married sooner than soon. We never did anything inappropriate when I was still married.

I first met my husband in 2002, through an internet pen pal site. Within 2 months I drove 6 hours to meet him and his family then a few months later we were married. It was difficult for me society, my mom and some members of his family were against it. I asked for divorce and he granted it. Last year he sent me a birthday card, from there we slowly started writing to each other again. Thankfully now he is less then an hour from me. In October i went and visited him since our divorce, it was three years since I last seen him. In Nov. we started the marriage process once again. I'm proud to say that I'm a Mrs. again as of Feb. 9th! :D

hi, I am Jen...

I met my husband in a picture...about 7 years ago...through a friend, and then later he wrote to me...we wrote for a year as friends, and then in person, I started to visit often and then 2 years later we were married ... almost 6 years later and two hits at the parole board and he will be home soon!

I know that he is my soul mate and daily, I thank God for allowing us to me. I often tell my friend that I am grateful for his badness, b/c this is how we met. He has been consistent from the time we've developed our friendship/relationship. He is a man of his word.

Thunder this is wonderful...and I feel the same way!

I am so excited about this forum. I met my husband when another inmate on his cell block gave him my address, he wrote to me. We met face to face and we already had feelings for eachother but it was love at first site and a year and a half later we got married. My man is a lifer too and my family and lots of friends don't agree with my decision but I am very happy. I have three children who love him and he claims them, my ex is a deadbeat and he never has contact with us, two of my children asked him if they can call him Daddy, and he loves them, I believe that man would walk threw fire for them if he had too. Even though we only see him about 2-3 times a month we have become a solid family unit despite his circumstances.

Well my story is kind of difficult to explain on here but I used to work inside a facility and got involved with a guy. Things didn't work out but I was still worried about him so I wrote to one of his friends and asked him to keep an eye out for him. His friend wrote back and we started writing as friends. He supported me through some tough stuff and things developed. We wrote for 5 months, then talked on the phone for 2 more months until I was finally able to visit him. Unfortunately they were non-contact visits because of his level. At the end of January he was finally transferred to a lower level and we had our first contact visit on Feb 2! First kiss and first hug were very nice to say the least. I am always looking forward to the next visit, the next call and the next letter! He is a wonderful man and I am blessed to know him.

hi my name is sharon i met mt hunny 5 years ago we started out as p/p we sre still as strong as ever i finally got to come out to see him as sq in oct 05 it was really scarey and now im coming out to see him this june so now i know how the system work i might be a bit more relaxed than the last time

:wave: Hi! AWESOME FORUM!!!

I have known my sweet blue eyed man for 25 years. I had a major crush on him in jr high, I was placed in states custoday at the end of jr high and moved from girls home to girls home and on with my life!

I knew he went to prison when I heard he shot that girl, it broke my heart. I still hadn't written him at that point, continued on with my life! Two years ago a very close friend of mine went to jail then prison, it brought back my memory of Andrew going to prison and I decided to reach out to him with support and friendship. He remembered me right away as the giggly girl on the school bus who always played walk like an egyptian! :ha: ya for real :ha: We wrote a lot, getting closer every day, beginning to have feelings and finally I was approved to visit. I loved him before that day and have fallen more in love with him every day since! He was brougth into my life and I am very thankful for that, everything happens for a reason and we are able to grow close emotionally before we add sex in the mix! We just recently started talking about marrying while he is in. He wants to build his relationship with my kids and they do too but they can't visit unless we are married. We had already planned a 2009 wedding, but now we might just do it while hes in and then again in 2009!!!!!!!

Anyways, thats my story! LOL

I met my boo (haven't found a good title for him yet) through a pen pal site. We write several times a week and I'm looking forward to visiting in March. He has asked me to marry him but I think we need a little more time before we take that step. Still, he's very loving and caring and we're talking about raising a family together and all of that good stuff. He's up for parole in 2008.

I met my guy through a penpal ad. I was just looking to do something nice for someone on death row, I had no intention of falling in love, but thats what happened. He asked me to marry me on Saturday, and Im on top of the world.

I met my husband back in 2000 while I was a CO at the unit he was and still is at. We were cool, he was different then alot of the dudes there, he never asked me for anything or tryed anything. I enjoyed talking to him, because he never crossed the line with me. I only worked there for about a year, not the job for me. I wrote him, just to let him know I was ok and that I had quit. I only intended to let him know I was gone and that I was ok, but we started writing each other, that was back in November 2001. It has been a long hard road from there to here, haveing to fight TDCJ for our visits after waiting the 24 months, but we won. We got married July 8, 2005 which also happens to be inbetween our birthdays, mine July7 his July 9. Prayerfully he will be comming home at the end of this year!!!

First of all...congrats Liberaldog!!!!!! I am so extremly happy for you and your honny!!
Secondly, i am sooooo excited about this forum!!
Hello everyone! I met my baby Jason almost exactly one year ago. I am a forensic psychologist and worked in a juvenille detention center. I had a wonderful relationship with one of the youths at the facility. I love him like my own blood. Of course we kept in touch after he was released, which is a big no-no but he needed me and I love that little guy. Anyway, he is an orphan and asked me if i could take him to see his older brother in jail because he is too young to go alone. Of course i said yes because he spoke so highly of him and family is so important. So we went to go visit him and the rest is history. We fell in love and I am in the process of adopting his little brother, who is the angel that brought us together. Jason has been in for almost 2 years for sale of a controlled substance while he was on Parole. He will be going in front of the parole board for the second time in 14 days, and I think he has a really good chance of being released. He will be moving in with me then! Please pray for us and send your postive energy this way!

i also met mine on pp site that was 5 years ago and things between us just keep geting stronger i have met him once which sealed our love im going out to see him again this june

Hi, my name is Marie and I met my huney through a pen pal website. At first, we had no intentions of hooking up nor getting together in that fashion due to him being locked up.

He is currently locked up at Hughes unit in Texas and has 18 more months until he see the Parole board…. again. His first parole hearing was in Sept. 05’ and he was denied. He was convicted of Agg. Robbery in 2000 and was sentenced to 10 yrs.

As the time passed, me and him began to get closer and understand one another’s actions and views. We built up a strong friendship built on TRUST, UNDERSTANDING, HONESTY, RESPECT and LOYALITY.

As time passed I grew more and more closer to him and attractive to him as well… (and trust me ladies: he’s so hella fine !!!) I didn’t want to put my emotions out there for him just to reject me unless I knew he had the same feelings for me as well.

I continued to visit time and time again and around my 7th visit… we both declared the love that we had for each other and he stated that he wanted to all to himself… from there on… the rest is history… we have been together going on 2 ½ yrs strong and plan to get married in the next couple months…

Who says true love can’t happen to those who wait?

Hi my name is Tina,
I met my new guy about 7 mths ago.. but have only been visiting with him for about a mth now...

I am so glad that someone finally made this a part of PTO!!!!

I met my guy like, I said 7 mths ago when he wrote the guy that I was seeing to tell him to please behave himself and do the right thing by me and my son..

They were together in ACI in florida...
Risco wrote the most heart felt letter, that I have ever read...
To this man....

Little did he know that this man, had come out and totally screwed my head and my heart and my world upside down...
The letter wasnt even addressed to me, but I opened it up and read it.. I went straight to my computer and printed my story off of the
Drug and Achol Fourm ( what I have to do now ) by Tatsbaby..
and I sent it to him.. I didnt say anything other than, this is what your so called friend put me through...
I didnt even get a response back from him ...
about 2 mths went by and I got a letter, just checking on me and my son. To see how we were doing.. I wrote him back and he didnt answer my letter for about another week..

We have been writing back and forth daily.. since then..
I thought that I was crazy when I wanted to get involved with another inmate....

And did alot of praying and soul searching in doing it..
I can honestly tell you all that it wasa worth it....
Risco is the most loving and kind man that I have ever met.
He is wonderful.. and all though our realtionship is new. I know that I am right where I belong...

I have always heard that everything happens for a reason..
I am now more sure of that, than anything in this world...


I was worried about being called a Prison Groupie, a Prison Hoe, you name it I was worried at first.. now I dont care..
He is nothing like the man, that came out and hurt me and my son..
He is my everything I have ever wanted and more...
And yes there are some ghost in both our closets but we talk and we work through them....


Now if I could just get someone to help me change my screen name..
For I am Tatsbaby Nomore...

but Risco's Angel I will always be.......


Blessings

Tina

Tina PM your request to me or any other staff member...

Patty

So glad this forum is here now!
In October 2004 someone here was looking for a pen pal for a friend, and I started writing him. We soon got on very well and after a few months he was sure how he felt about me. It took me a while longer to get used to the idea and to decide what to do, I'm lucky he was patient with me. We haven't met yet, but hope to soon!

Whats up? Im new to this PTO thing, and my first reply had to be on this topic. I thought i was like the only one that would write to an inmate that they didnt know, but then i found this and was honestly surprised but obviously in a good way. But anyways, i met my man through my friend, they were locked up together. I geuss he had seen a pic and asked about me and asked if he could write to me. The first letter i got i was like ummm who is this? lol Obviously i wasnt really looking for anything, especially not to fall in love, but that was like a year and half ago and we've been writing and talking like everyother day. He makes me so happy, and from the first conversation we just like clicked there was never an uneasiness or quiet, we never wanted to get off the phone. Then the phone bill came and thats a whole different issue lol but yeah i still havent seen him yet, just a sketch unfortunately, but he is coming home in 2 months and 3 weeks, im so excited. I'm picking him up so that will be the first time we meet, so im excited and extremely nervous at the same time! so yeah i just wanted to share my story on how i met my love and thank everyone for their stories! Lates

~*Hannah*~

I met him as a fugitive, does that count? I certainly hope so cause I am lovin this new forum, it speaks to a lot of our issues. For we have never yet been together in the free world.

I'm a reporter and a single mom, and when I heard that there was this guy being hunted by the cops who wanted to talk to a reporter before he surrendered, I was careful. Talked to the cops and DA about it, talked to his parents, his former boss, people who'd known him since he was a pup. Everybody was afraid for his life (well, the people that loved him were, anyway.)

I sent the word out on the grapevine to tell him to come to me. I was expecting I don't know what. A "criminal?" an emotionally disturbed person? a...SOMETHING. What I was definitely NOT expecting was to be blown clear away. The minute I saw him there was a humming in my heart, a rush of destiny. Thing that fits it best is KIpling's Call of the Jungle: "We be of one blood, ye and I."

We talked for hours just so I could get his side of the story. He crashed on my couch that one night. The next week I brought him to the trooper barracks to surrender. He called me from the jail to let me know he was OK. I was writing about the case so he kept calling, and pretty soon I was living for those calls. He is just the most interesting person, foxiest guy, deepest soul and finest heart. I'm pretty smart and he can out-think me- but he's never obnoxious about it.

We are going through an appeal right now and hoping it may get him home. People say how do you know it will work? How the HELL does anyone know anything? It already works. In the few short hours I knew him free, I didn't know him well enough to kiss him. I live for the day we can kiss and not have to stop...YOW!

My name is Rebecca, I met Alfredo from an ad he had on a pen-pal site. I wrote him, we hit it off from the start! A good friendship I was ending a 4 year relationship. And he would talk and listen to me and give advise. I know most guy's would use this to their advantage but he kept telling me to talk to the guy and see if that's what I really wanted so I went and seen the guy and we talked and ended it that day but on a good note! Just after two months of us writing he had his ad removed and we talked once a week on the phone and wrote alot! I've talked to members of his family on the phone his lawyer keeps me informed on his case, it's all good. I hate the fact that we live in different states! I live in Michigan and he's in NY. I plan on visiting for the first time in a few weeks..... We finally get to see each other face to face... His mom wants me to stop by so we can met and his sister wants to get together as well. They have been so sweet to me and seem to like me so far. He has talked to my three kids and they write each other!
It's pretty cool. I thank God I found this place PTO, because I've made alot of friends and a few are in NY and hopefully we get a chance to met as well.
They NY family has been really helpful with info and buses and what to expect and even helping out with finding a nice hotel !!! Love you guys......

Wow... Weve got our own forum!! :D
Hi all... Im Tracey.:) I met my honey since he has been in, 5 years ago. Wasnt looking for love when i saw his ad on a pen pal website, but was blessed to find it.
Times are hard at times, especially because were from different continents and have an ocean between us, but we have grown to be strong... building solid foundations. :)

hello..my name is camille, and i met my husband at the prison i used to work at over 6 yrs ago!!!!!

wow..i love this, heck, i love pto...

Kenny (my husband), has a sister, his sister is married to my brother, and yes before you ask, we do live in ALABAMA...lol

Kenny and I knew each other names, and stuff like that because of his sister and my brother, but didn't meet face to face until he parole after 16 years, (he claims he meet me when i was 18, but i don't remember it)....since his parole, he got married to another women, divorced, parole revoked, asked his sister if i would keep his dogs until released, i said yes and been saying yes ever since...lol..

Hi everyone. Great forum. :thumbsup:
My brother was sent to FCI Oxford, WI. While there a fellow inmate, Juan, saw my picture among the family pictures my brother had in his cell & asked if he could write to me. It wasn't the first time I got a letter from someone my brother knew. To be nice I would communicate with any of the guys he gave my address to with the intention of friendship & nothing more. Writing a couple of times & eventually I would either lose interest or get turned off by them.
Juan grabbed my attention from the start. I knew some how he was different. For one thing unlike all the others he didn't come on strong & was willing to just be friends. Six months to a year being friends he let me know he wanted more than that, but still waited for me to make the first move. I never wanted a relationship with an inmate. So naturally I resisted. After giving him my phone # and hearing his voice for the first time, I could deny my feelings for that man no longer. I thought I knew him well through his letters, but his personality just poured through that phone line. So laid back, honest, happy, & carefree despite where he was. We have been talking to each other almost weekly now.

All is going well with us, except he faces deportation back to Mexico in April '06 when he gets out. When that happens I'll be going there to meet him & some of his family. If all goes well after visiting a few times, I'll probably move there. Crazy I know. :blush: But he's the light of my life & I couldn't imagine being without him.:)

"Destiny" crossed paths in October of 2001 when I met the love of my life while attending an annual rodeo at the prison.

Due to a lack of experience with the system I was terrified of being around inmates. I also didn't want to disappoint a friend and have to admit the real reason why I changed my mind so I decided to tough it out. After being there for less than 10 minutes an unknown voice beckoned me (by referring to what I was wearing) and in a very hesitant way I turned around and needless to say, I haven't looked back since.

We wrote each other back and forth for the first four months until I agreed to visit him. We got married a year and a half later (now 2 years, six months and 7 days - I love him that much) and still going strong.

Everyday is a blessing and our faith in God continues to be the centerpiece of our committment to one another. We are soulmates and 1 John 4:18 is the foundation of our relationship: Perfect love DOES cast out fear.:heart:

I met Jesse through someone he knew forever ago that knows my cousin. He had me help look him up on the state site and as soon as I seen him I seen something in his eyes, I can't explain it really! Then I wrote him ... when I wrote him I didn't tell him about what I thought with seeing his picture and I didn't except anything from writing him. But as we wrote we got closer and now I can't imagine being without him. I know it's crazy but love is crazy. If it's crazy it's crazy, I'm willing to deal with it! :D

Well my name is Kristin. My best friend had an old friend of hers that has been locked up since 2002. She made contact with him about 6 months ago in prison. they ahve been writing non stop and visiting liek it is goig out of style. And actually today is her wedding day!!! Her name on here is Tabycat, so everyone give her some love!! Anyway, he had a friend who wanted a penpal. she asked me if I was interested. I had just gottne out of a bad relationship, so I said why not, I could use a distraction. My intention was not what i got. i did not want a realtionship and had pretty much given up on men in general! So he sent me a letter. We stated writing liek everyday, and about amonth into it, I realized there was something VERY special about this one. Then we got phonecalls. And now we talk for two hours a day and write like crazy. I have pics and so does he. We get our first visit on March 3rd. I am taking off of work, I am so excited! He is absolutely wonderful and the best man I have ever met in my life. He treats me liek a queen and amazes me everyday. he is up for parole in November of this year so we are praying like crazy! That is my story, and I want to say congrats to tabycat on her marriage today!!:D :D

HI ALL
My name is Lisa and i am from england i met my boyfriend thru a friend who has a boyfriend in prison, he wanted someone to write to and i went into it believing it would only be a friendship, boy was i wrong.
from the first letter it was obvious we had a lot in common, we just clicked instantly, a few weeks later he started calling me and we got on even better and became even closer, in one letter a short time after we had started talking on the phone he told me he loved me, so i decided i had to visit him to see what i felt so i visited him a week later and fell in love! 6 months on we write every day talk on the phone twice a day and i visit him every two weeks and we are planning a future together when he is released.
people think i am mad when i tell them how i met my boyfriend but he is my soul mate, the love of my life.
it is so nice to see a forum like this where everyone is in a similar situation and no one thinks badly of you
hope to make lots of new friends
love to you all
LISA xx

Hi there everyone... my name is Erica and I too met my shanookems while we (yep I said WE) were in county and we have been together ever since... I am totaly dedicated to him and have stood behind him 100% since I've come home and plan to be here for him and with him when he comes home... I never knew that someone that I have never touched could touch me the ways that he does and that I could love someone as deep as I love him... I've never needed someone else in my life but I now know that I do need him...
I'll post our story soon... it's a good one... grab the popcorn and settle in!!:D
Thanks for reading!!

Hi, my name is Kathy and I met my future husband Clarence through a pen pal ad. I wasn't looking for a romance but I found it. I'm very fortunate! I love this forum.

Wow these are such fascinating and uplifting stories... :)

Well I met my lifer's dad first... it was a work project related to young inmates. I spent five months slowly getting to know him in county, also sat thru his trial and sentencing. We took that long to decide to even be friends.

Like I said... we took it slooooowly.

He's been in state prison now for a few years. Let's just say we've both grown a lot while traveling this rocky road of friendship and.... whatever it is! We do love each other and have a strong bond.

He's a lifer and also younger so we try to keep it at a friendship level but sometimes we get carried away with the hugs and kisses... :p :o :D oh well, what can I say? :rolleyes:

Hi everybody:)

I met my hubby while he was in jail. I met him through my friend and her ex. All she told me that someone in jail like me. You see her ex was locked up and he did not give her all of information about my hubby. I was scared and nervous. The first time I spoke him, no lie I was turned on by him. His voice was so sexy over the phone. Then I got so curious on how he looked like. I gave him my address so he can write to me. I did not give him my phone number not just yet. I got his letter two weeks later after we spoke on the phone. Honestly, I was waiting for the letter to see if he really will write me. He did. I read it and got curious. I needed to visit him. I had to see for myself on what he was all about. I was not so confident. I was affraid that he will reject me. I'm fat and not so good looking. We met. I liked what I saw and so did he. We have been together since. We got engaged after two weeks in meeting each other. We fell madly in love with each other. We got married months later. I have no regrets. We have been managing well. I'm his ride or die chick. I never thought I ever find love. He has brung so much love and excitment to my life. I took a chance on something and it brung the love of my life.

Wow this is too cool. I met my man through his brother. He asked if I would write to his brother that has been in prison for a while. I said sure, I was at a point in my life where I wanted to give relationships a break and be alone for a while anyway. But Lawd Hammercy when I saw his picture and started writing, whewwwwwww! That's my Boo. It's only been about four months, but we are really feeling each other a lot. He still has about six years, so it's one day at a time, but we have found something very special. Thanks for starting this group. It's hard for all of us, but when you have never had "free" time with your man, you question everything you are doing.

Hello all,
I am Lori and I am going to tell you how I met the man of my dreams.

Well, it all started when a friend of mine got locked up. I was talking to him on the phone one night and he asked if I could maybe write to his friend that was in there. And me, of course I accepted not even thinking about possibly hooking up with him. So we started writing back and forth just as pen pals, then came the visits and phone calls. He has a 10 yr sentence and is half way through. When I found out he had 10 yrs, I thought oh my gosh how can I allow myself to be involved with someone who is behind bars and may not come home for another 7 years. I never thought I would be the one to hang and ride the coaster with him. But one day I woke up to go visit him, it was our first contact visit, and when I got there and looked into his piercing blue eyes and felt his touch I knew that I was in for the long haul. He is everything I ever could have asked for in a man. We have been on this journey for 2 years now, and our love for each other is only growing more and more. We get a 2 hour contact visit each week and my kids love him as much as I do. I keep in very close contact with his family just so that they know that I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TIL THE END. I won't give up now. He goes up in July for the second time to be paroled out so please everyone say an extra prayer at night for us. Hopefully this time they will let him come home where he belongs. i am so glad that I found this site. i have come across so much helpful information. Its nice to be able to talk with people that are going through the same thing you are. I try to talk to friends that have never experienced anything like this, and they think I am crazy for hanging around. I appreciate all you strong women on here. Thanks for listening or reading. LOL


P.S. Kent, I will always love you baby and I'll be here til the end.:heart: :love:

well i met my ex through my other ex and i was with JR for almost 2 yrs and now i found some info that he wasnt true to me so i let him go and he got caught in his own game and now i wonder who else he will strike next cuz i was the smart one to leave him before its too late :) Good Going for me i think lol by the way im Melanie and im a Devoted Research Asst for PTO and im going no where and im here to help yall in anyway u may need Thanks Melanie

I love this forum!!!!

Some of you already know, but I met Deon when he was incarcerated at the county jail that I was a nurse at in 2004. He was in for drug trafficking.

He would often come to the door and speak to me, which a lot of inmates did, so I made nothing of it. This went on for 5 months. He was about to go to court for a bond hearing and had been placed in a holding cell. I was in that area and when I went by he stopped me. He asked if he could have my phone number. Telling me he wanted to take me to dinner and movie, nothing more, just get to know me.

I, of course, said no. Well, I went back and told one of my friends and she was like, "Girl are you crazy? He's cute, what could it hurt, dinner and a movie, give him your number." So, I jotted my number down on a small piece of paper, grabbed 2 motrins and cup of water and concealed the small piece of paper under the cup. When I got to the cell I gave him the pills and water and whispered that the paper was there. He took it and put it in his pocket. Before I could walk off an officer came into the area and he asked to go to the bathroom, well I told the officer he could go in my office. So, the officer brought him there. Mind you this jail is totally laid back. While in there we made small talk and he told me he call me tonight, but he hoped to be out in a day or two.

Unfortunately, he was denied bond. But, we developed a bond that far outweighted that. Because of the lax environment we were able to spend a lot of time together, I am talking sometimes an hour or more. Sneaking kisses, talking, just getting to know each other.

A month into the relationship he admitted he had had his eye on me for 5 months, but was afraid to say something because he knew if I told on him he could get locked down. Two months after that he transferred to another county jail. Then, I was able to visit. By then, I had met his family. His son had been staying over night at my house and our relationship spawned into such a powerful love thang, it has kept me on a high no drug could ever produce.

We have known each other 20 months, been in a relationship for 15 months tomorrow, and committed to a life together forever!

Emotionally we have grown. He is my best friend, my love, my soulmate, a true blessing that had to be sent from God.

We plan to marry upon his release.

(I guess you all wonder how we were able to take a photo together. His brother passed away in June 2005 while he was in Jackson for diagnostics, he was home for the funeral.....shackle free the whole time ( 3 hours)...the one time we had the freedom to hold and kiss each other, while he was incarcerated.)

Hi my name is Arlene and I met Sly through a friend who gave him my address. At first I was really mad about some guy I didnt know writing me and not only that my friend told him my name was "Jessica" so thats what the letter said. As I tell him he really saved himself by including a picture in his first letter to me because there was just something about him that made me want to get to know him. Anyway it has been over a year now and we are actually in the process of getting married, everything should be done by Friday March 3rd!! He is the greastest man who has ever come into my life and like many of the rest of you alot of people do not understand our situation but I am so beyond caring what others think because I am happy and thats all that matters!

Hi my name is Stephanie and I met Paul through a friend of mine. Her husband is at fox lake in WI and asked if she knew anyone that could write to his cellmate. She asked me and I said sure what the heck. That was in september and we have been writing ever since. We had our first contact visit about a month ago and it was wonderful, I'm completely in love.

Heya my name is Bella Im 25 and Im from Indianapolis, Indiana. I've been with Tommy for 17 months now and he is locked down in Lucasville, Ohio. I met him thru a pen pal web site that his aunt did for him. Hes doing 18 to life with 3 down so far. U guys will see me around for the LONG HAUL ;]

~Bella~

well hello there every one. I'm new on this. Let me start with saying that I'm not from the States. I'm from a small Island in the Caribbean.. I happen to come across this web site and I enjoy it a lot.
I met my fiancee, through a add he posted in a magazine. We became penfriends, fall in love, now we are engaged. This March 4th we will be celebrating our 4 th anniversary. I visted him for the first time last year October 2005. It was wonderful.
I'm 8 hour flight away from him (he is in cmc California ) So I'm not able to see him on regular basis, but I write him every week. Also phone calls aren't possible.
It is hard sometimes, but my love for him keeps me going.
I have met his family too, they are real wonderful persons. He is all I have ever wanted .Though we are far apart we are connected by our hearts.

ps. English is not my native language, sorry for the mistakes.

hi, my name is Soraya and I live in Belgium. I've know Deshon for 4 years now. we became pen pals in 2002. He told me that he was in love with me like 2 years ago, but I was in a relationship. I finished that relationship a couple of months ago (had nothing to do with Deshon). I always felt like a highschool girl when I saw a envelop with his handwriting in my mailbox, but I always ignored it. Now i've spent 3 days reading ALL his letters over and over again and I can't help but realize that I'm in love with him and probably have been for a long time now. I told him in a letter that I've sent him last week. But mail goes sooooo slow, especially oversees so I'm very nervous to know what he writes when he received that letter :d

At last somewhere where I can feel @ home I also met my husband whilst he was incarcerated, have been married for just 3 months all of those I have spent seperated from him by 3,000miles I am not allowed to STAY IN THE Usa!!!! I am trying to find legal help so that I can join him @ least in the same country and get everything ready for his home coming in 2010.............Anyone out there got any tips ??

Welcome, and I've just PMd you. I'm in the London area, too./

Rose

I met a beautiful man thru the internet. In August 2005 I was browsing and saw his ad. We are both older than most of the members. I was looking for a friend to write to but I found more than I could have imagined. He's at Pelican Bay Shu. I went to visit him Feb 18th. We were both so nervous. Poor guy was actually sweating...me I was so nervous I had to use the restroom but I didn't,I held it to the end of the visit..Whew!! I couldn't spare one minute away from him. It was a good visit. We connected from day one..I am happy and thank whoever thought of this forum. Sometimes I feel alone even though he is really good at writing me it's great to have friends out here who understand our unique circumstance.

hi everyone
its great to see so many people in the same situation. i am lisa from the south west of england and i have a boyfriend in prison too, we started off as penpals in august last year and became really good friends, after se started talking on the phone we knew there was some feelings there, in october last year i went to visit him for the first time and we fell in love instantly, he had told me a few weeks before he was falling in love with me which is what sparked me to go visit him coz i had to meet him and discover whether i truly did feel the same way.
5 months after that first visit we write pretty much every day we talk on the phone every day and we see each other twice a month and we are very happy and very much in love and we are planning on being together when he gets out next year.
being separated from him is so hard though, and the phone calls and letters keep me going between visits.
i would love tohear from anyone else in this country to make friends with and to support
love to you all
LISA xx

Well not sure if yall know but I met my fiance while working for his first lawyer. I was the only one in the office that would acept his collect calls for the Detention Center. It soon got to a point where I knew he was gonna call and would schedule my breaks so i was available at the time. he was always so sincere on the pone and finally he asked for my information so he could write me. Three days later I got a letter from him and it just progressed from there. Three lawyers and one appeal later and he is the only man for me. No matter what I am always there for him in the good and the bad and we will soon be married whenever we get approval. But our one year anniversary is right around the corner (the 17th of March). I can't imagine life without him and not sure how I even made it. He truly completes me and literally "He had me at Hello!!!!"

Hi,

I had never seen this forum before, it seems really cool, I will be sure to come here really often! I too met my guy while incarcerated, I got his contact info through a pen pal website. I used to write to many different guys back in 2000 and 2001, but it was all just platonic and we lost contact upon their release.

But not with my bf everything is different, we hit it off right away, and I have been visiting him regularly now, I just feel as if he's my soulmate, even though we are both trying to take things slow, we both know that we will be fine together.

But like I said, I just saw this forum and I plan to be active in it, woo-hoo for us! LOL

Rebeca

hello everyone. i'm from minnesota, way up north where lots of snow falls. i met my honeyman thru my brotherinlaw, who is in the same place. its sort of a long story but i'll keep it short as possible. last year i was attacked in my home, and held hostage for 12 hours. unspeakable things happened to me. i didn't have anyone to talk to, except for investigators who were working on that crime you know? and i was homeless then too because i ran off, i couldn't stay there anymore. so this went on for awhile, and then finally a friendly biker guy heard about my problem thru his sister, my friend. he came and found me and gave me a place to live. i was sitting in this lonely house, all i had was a futon and a kitchen table and i wrote a letter to my brotherinlaw. he and my sister have carried on for 5 years, long distance, you know? he is a really good man too. solid. anyway, he wrote back and told me to hang in, he loved me, he knew i was alone and needed to be alone now for awhile. so, then, months later i got a card from my future honey, it just said that he got my name from my brotherinlaw. we began to write, and eventually i told him what happened to me. but the thing is, that he's my best friend. he's a lifer with the possibility of parole, and had been locked down for almost 14 years when we met. now, suddenly he wrote and said he has a parole hearing in july. i want to be there when that happens, or, at least be close by and get there the next visiting day. so i'm thinking about how i can move to pennsylvania. working out the details. my sisters are supportive of me and him. they somehow understand that he is good for me though they have never met him. my daughter is grown up, having a baby soon, and so are my sons. i'm at this point in my life now where i am finally free to just go and have me a life with a man i love. so, thats what i'm going to do. he's in a usp, and may have to return to cali for a period of time. so, we don't really know what will happen, but i'm planning to be there when it does.
i enjoy reading these posts. they sort of finish off my long day. i work for a battered womens advocacy program, and i work with those women everyday. sometimes it gets me down, but most times it makes me have courage. i think thats what we all have in common, those of us who love a man in prison. we have lots of courage. and, with that i'm going to sign off. Teresa

Oh I'm loving reading these! Similar to a lot of you I met my Matthew about a year after he was incarcerated. Through a friend of mine and her ex he sent a letter saying how hard a time he was having inside and that he really just needed someone to talk to who would share their life experiences to help brighten his days. Well, from there we started writing back and forth nearly everyday and it wasn't until a year later the guy I was currently dating agreed to drive me to meet my friend (Amazing of him right??!!) Well that day was amazing and needless to say I left my poor bf of the time waiting in the car for about 6 hours (yeah I'm mean).... But since then.... Matthew and I have gotten back to talking like every day and now he calls me and I visit him every other weekend... I'm not sure if it's true love or not but I think it's about as damn close as I've ever gotten. And I don't know that I'll ever get closer. Recently, I've been talking to my sweetie about us marrying each other someday and sharing a life and family together when he gets out. Doing that would probably make me an incredibly happy woman and I plan on standing by Matt's side until the day he is released when he can walk out of that world of concrete and cages into my world and share the sunshine and beauty of life with me. So, he has a little over 6 years left to go before his first hearings yet I'm sure he'll get out okay on parole as he's been a model prisoner....But until then I'll wait for my sweetie and continue to live and love my life and share the good times I have with him through our letters calls and visits....:p

My story is long and complicated. I will say this though. We met in 1998, while he was incarcerated, and I was an employee. We wrote for a few months, then went our separate ways until spring of 2004, when I sent him a birthday card. Its been a lot of phone calls, letters and visits since then. I can't imagine my future without him in it, and I can't wait to see him again!

hello, everyone my name is Angel well I meet my man on a, penpale web site, and we have been together for a little over a year now we haven't meet face to face yet but we will real soon, we do plan on getting married and him moving to Atlanta, to be with me.

I just knew if I looked long enough I would find a thread such as this. I was online trying to do my taxes (which I still have not done) and I came across a site for pen pals. I was once incarcerated while I was pregnant and I remember the desolation and lonliness. I wanted to bring a little smile to someone's face at Christmas this past year so I wrote to someone who was 1) attractive 2) kinda close to me just in case 3) around my age or close. Well who knew then that this man would turn out to be my soulmate and forever love. We write every day, sometimes 4-5 letters a day, we are working on the phone calls right now and that should happen in a week or so and as soon as I have clearance to visit from my probation officer I will be there every Sunday to hold him in my arms. I am unsure about all the rules of parole but he doesn't feel like he will get it on the first try in 2008, so I guess I will be waiting about 5-6 years. But compared to the 35 years I have spent waiting for my prince charming that is nothing.

it was all kind of srtange, really. my bestfriend and her boyfriend at the time were haveing problems, he had gotten busted with drugs and she bonded him out. when he went to court, they gave him 4 years TCD. he went in and i would go with her all over Texas to visit him. i wasn't on his visitation list because he didn't know my exact address when he filled out his list. so, i would wait for her in the car. after about 6 months or so, she recieved a letter from danny(her man) and if had a letter in there for me from some White guy. i wasn't worried about it, so i didn't read it for like a week or two. my life was too full of drama at that time. finally i read it and he sounded totally dorky!!! he sent a picture as well and he looked ok. he told me that in that picture he had the flu and was really sick! i wrote back a few days later and he told me that he was updating his visitation list (they can only do it every 6 months and his 6 months were up) and that if i didn't mind, he had already put me on before he ran out of time. that totally threw me off! Danny wrote me a letter to tell me that Scott was a really good guyand that for the past 4 weeks he had been asking to write me after he saw my pictures. he said i was beautiful and looked like a lot of fun. (probably because all the pictures danny had of me are pictures of me and Teresa, his girl, at the club)

So, we meet at last!
Danny and Scott were at a unit not far from our home, actually like 8 miles away, so Teresa convinced me to heet scott while she went to visit danny. when we get there she tells me that danny might have been transferred. at the check in, sure enough, he was on his way to east texas!!! she left me there ALONE!!! i was so scared! i remember i was wearing a pink top a denim jacket and blue jeans, my hair was long and i had curled to ends. when i went to his side of the unit, the officer told me that i was too late, i would have to come back next week, i was kinda sad and releaved at the same time, then he said he was joking. NOT FUNNY! we had contact visits due to his trustee status, so i sat at a picnic table out side and waited for him. i saw him from a distance and i knew in my heart that was him. he looked at me and turned away. then he looked again. i wasn't sure that was him so i felt kinda dumb. then the guard searches him really quick and when he comes out to the visitation area, i was the only one with out a visitor, so we knew then for sure.

he was tall and i didn't think he was that good looking. he was ok, not someone i would try to hit on at a club or anything. he thought i was just too beautiful. he kept saying, i can't believe you're here! i kept offering to leave if he felt uncomfortable, and we both just cracked up laughing! he was so funny! kinda goofy at times, which he still is and i still dont like it. he was telling me about his daughter and i told him about my son. i was in school then and we talked about that. he was also taking classes.

all in all i didn't think we would go any further that that visit. i had too much going on in my life and i couldn't add one more responsability. i didn't write him again.

4 weeks later, i got a letter from him. i felt like crap when i pulled it out the mail box. i thought he kinda understood that i didn't write cause i wasn't interested in writing hem any more. well, the letter was short and sweet. pretty much, sorry we couldn't be friends, thanks for visiting me, i hope when i come home i'll run nto you some time. AAWWWW... i felt horible! so i started writing again 2 letters a week and i visited 2 times a month. Very slowly i started to see just how handsome he was and what a good heart he has.

Well, I came to PTO about a while ago to get some advice on how to go about the appeals process when I was denied visitation to my (NOW X) fiance. Needless to say, I was never approved! Now I see that as meant to be.

Now years later, I have a new need for the support and love that PTO has to offer. Last July I was planning on moving from the city that I grew up in and knew everything about to a small town hours away from home and knew no one except my family. One night I decided that since I knew that the people from back home probably wouldn't write me I'd take a chance on writing someone behind the walls. I told myself that I wouldn't fall and that it would be nothing except someone's words to keep me company and exchange a few smiles to one another here and there. I sent out a few emails (they forward them) and didn't expect to hear much back because my E-mail was pretty cold. I think that I said something like "I'm looking for a pen pal, if you're looking for someone to send you money, buy you some kicks, accept your calls, or come and visit...throw this away." About a month after I sent out this Email I got a letter in the mail from "Val". I never sent an email out to him. Turns out he was passed my email through someone in the same institution and my thoughts went sour immediatly. I decided not to write, but something about his style and the way he came off in that first letter intrigued me. I sent a letter that was again filled with hurt, pain, tears, and nothing but ice cold emotion. Slowly Val has melted the ice around my heart. We fought off feelings for about a month and finally decided that with each other is what is meant to be. I know that God put this man in my path and brought me this chance to love again. As I'm typing this I'm planning on going to see him for the first time.

We've only been together for a small period of time but besides the usual hardships that come along with loving our men behind the walls, I've faced sickness and hospitalization. The past few months have been rocky and I know at times he's been frustrated and doubted my love for him, but he is my other half. I love this man deeper than I've ever thought possible. I never knew what finding a soulmate exactly meant until he walked into my life...

He's waiting on a decision from the parole board as we speak, and needless to say I can't wait. Either way it goes come October 12th he will be in my arms forever....What else is to say...I love Val...

I met my finance' almost 3yrs ago while preaching at the county jail. Besides Jesus, he is the best thing that's every happened to me.

LadySmith...I couldn't agree with you more...I found Jesus who will forever be the leading man in my life...and then I found Val. I have truly been blessed....

I met my man through my friend. He was already in jail. My friend called me up and asked me if I was working things out with an ex and I said no and why. She was like well you have to write my cousin he is locked up for having drugs on him, and he needs a girlfriend, I was like umm okay...So she brought me his address and I wrote him. A month after I wrote him he got moved to Salinas Valley State Prison, when I started writing him he was in Pleasant Valley State Prison. What are the odds of him getting moved closer to me....I am so happy. I am waiting for him to write and say I got approved to go see him....

I met my boyfriend In August of 05 with writeaprisoner, I also wasnt looking for a relationship. I just wanted some advice on men since I was going through trouble in my relationship. So I was telling him about different guys and everything! After about a month of talking, we became close friends and hes only 40min away so I finally went to see him and thats all it took and Ive been smitten ever since! I love him so much,

Wow, I don't know what took me so long to post here.

I am Shavonne. I am 27, and live in Upstate NY.

I met my husband through my best friends ex-boyfriend who was in the same dorm as him at one time. He asked me if I would write his friend etc etc. I was hesitant at first, and it took me about 3-4 months to write. When we wrote, I would write once a month. Then the letters starting getting longer, and more frequent. The next thing I knew I mastered the art of stalking the mailman...lol.

We started talking in Feb 2003, had our first visit in May 2003, and got married November 2004.

My best friend and husband. I never knew my heart could love like this.

Well my name is Amanda and I am in Texas and I met my husband while I was working for TDCJ. The first encounter I had with him was me cussing him out for smiling at me. I later apologized to him once I had time to check him out and see that he wasnt your typical inmate. He stayed to himself, was well known and respected, stayed out of trouble and he used to pop up every where I was. Not to mention I though he was SO FINE. Once I apologized to him we would chit chat here and there and then after about 6 months one of his cellies asked me how I felt about him. I told him that I thought he was ok but I wasnt there to hook up with anyone, nor was I going to loose my job behind an inmate. Finally one day my husband came up to me and told me he needed to tell me something but everytime he started the words wouldnt come out and he would walk away. SO one day when he did this I stopped him before he could walk off and told him that I cared about him and if he looked me up when he got out I would buy him lunch. He stood there looking shocked. Well as fate would have it he ended up getting shipped to another unit and I wrote him and here we are almost 6 years later and I couldnt be happier. Once I decided that I really wanted to build a relationship with him I did quit my job at the prison. It didnt take me long to make that decision we started talking in November and I quit in April. It was the best decision I ever made. The Lord knew just what we needed and He placed us together at just the right time. Things have been rough at times but I dont regret one single thing and I wouldnt have done it any other way even if I could.

I fell in love not wanting to. I met my baby Banks through a friend who's fiancee was serving time in Gowanda and one day out of the blue I received a card, letter and picture. All I wanted was a friend so I wrote him back. So many beautiful letters, communication and cards. I am truly in love with Loyd a.k.a Banks.
People tell you that you can't fall in love with someone's heart that's a lie you can. he and I both out of bad relationship we where friends first. we vibed so well it was like I"d write him oneday and he would send a letter saying something similar. Can I say that I found my soulmate, my best friend and soon to be my husband. I understand him and yes we have this huge issue with him trusting me. He's the second man I been involved with and it so different. Yes it is complicated because they ar not there and you carry all the wait. I look back now and know that I am Loyd's woman and he is my man . I wouldn't trade him for nothing in this world. I'm blessed to have him in my life. Nothing but god himself could ever stop me from loving him the way I do.

Tamnyc -n- Banks:love:
4ever

Hi Everyone,

My name is Tia and I met my man from a penpal site. At the time we started writing to each other I think I had around 5 penpals it was great getting mail in the box everyday and each one very different. Well my penpal and I started out kind of slow like I would write to him and then wait up to 2 wks before I would get a reply. I remember running in the house to open his letter it was the way he wrote I guess that I like well after around 3 months or so I gave him my phone number and it took him a while to call. Then one day after a very stressful day at work I was sitting on the side of the bed and the phone rang and it was him. I think that was the day I got hooked to his voice and even though it was a three conversation thing it was great. He called as much as he could we talked about anything and everything well that was in like November. I was also going through some serious health issue at that time and I have to say that if it wasn't for him I don't know how I could of done it. I decided to go and visit this man whom I had fell head over hills for in Feburary before it was time for me to go back to work from being on Medical Leave for 4 months and it was such a thrill and I loved every minute. I can't wait until I make that long trip again.

Tia

Hi all,
I met by man on an internet site last December...was just drinking wine one nite.. trawling thru sites and saw his face. Wrote, didn't think I'd get a reply.. got one. The rest is history....am now pretty much "heavily involved" !! Have spoken to another girl in the UK from this site... she has many good friends here who help her with her visitations!!!. It's sooo good to know that you are not alone in how you feel. Ofcourse, I thought I was the only one in this situation.
I am hoping to visit this year.. 6 thousand miles is a long way to come but i'm sure it will be worth it!! This site gives invaluable information on all aspects of a relationship of this kind..THANK YOU ALL!!!! I look forward to chatting to you...
love Traci xx

Hi, I received an email from someone I don't know who he is, but he was asking me to be a pen-pal to one of his homies that was busted. I replied that I would. This is not the first trip for me around this block, so I thought why not? My son is always busted, my ex husband is doing 15, and my babys daddy has been in & out most of his life. Needless to say I have been up and down the state of Calif. for the last 20 years. Anyway, I started writing to him and he writes me everyday, I got approved and met him for the first time this past weekend. It was great, he's very nice and is a very special man in my life. He's been down for 12 years and has 1 1/2 to go. I was his first visit in the years that he has been down. I'm planning my next trip already. I'll be back to see him on the 14th & 15th of this month. I can't wait.

OK, I guess it's time to introduce myself. I never thought I would be doing this. I wrote this guy after seeing a TV show about him last month, he wrote back, and after many letters and phone calls, I'm totally falling for him. Luckily, he feels the same!! I have so many emotions and I don't know where to start. He's serving a life sentence (no parole), but he's in a state where they allow the governor to commute sentences, so there is always a chance he'll get out. I'm scared to death about this whole thing. I'm scared he'll never get out and I'm scared he'll eventually get out (he's been in for over 18 years, so the world is completely different). I told my mom today and she didn't handle it very well. I can't imagine telling other people. I'm so glad to be able to come somewhere where people understand. I do have some experience with the system as my ex-husband has been in and out. I'm also about to graduate with my criminal justice degree.

Dawn

I met my husband thru my stepsister's mom.She had a penpal,that after 6months of writing,she wanted to meet. Her car was no good,so I somehow agreed to take her.I was introduced to a friend of her penpal.He was a jerk.The next visit, I was to meet another friend.He was transferred out a few days before the visit. I was just going to drop E off for her visit and read a book in the parking lot or hang around town or something. No one liked that idea,so I was introduced to this other friend.Oh,what harm could a few hours of talking to someone do?
Well,we talked and talked and I knew then that I had met someone very special. We have been together over 7 yrs, married for over 6 yrs. We have a 4 1/2 yr old son together.
I live in RI, he's in NY, so there have been some stretches of long drives mixed in too.
'spooky' bit of funny..we met on Halloween, and I had to drive through Sleepy Hollow to get to the facility.

Hi, my name is Angie and I've become penpals with someone who's currently in the Lewis Complex (Rast Unite) - this is a new thing for me and I've got many mixed emotions, mostly good ones. We've been corresponding for 2 months, a few letters each week and so far, I'm trying to follow my heart. We really have been finding a lot of things we share in common and right now we're "just friends," both of us open to a relationship - but he's never pressured me even this early for anything. I've had penpals before, but not with the real potential for anything beyond that. So time will tell, I guess...Thanks for reading this and GOOD LUCK to you all and your loved ones :) !!

Hello everyone..
Well, I met my guy through a pen-pal ad in a heavy metal magazine around 7 years ago. I put the ad in not wanting a relationship at all because I had just gone through a really horrible time with a guy and was just looking for friends and distractions. And OMG! I was just not one of those women who wanted to be with an inmate!!! (ha-ha!! I was proved wrong in that one!) Well, Patrick turned out to be just too cute and funny and...here we are years later planning on marriage and kids and praying for parole!
Sandra

Hello everyone! My name is Anitra. I met my man through a friend I worked with. She heard I liked black men and asked me to talk to her "brother". I said sure I figured it wouldn't hurt to make another friend. First he sent me a letter and a picture introducing himself. I did the same. He is in the Feds so he put me on his phone list and a few days later I got my first phone call. Back then they didn't have restrictions on the calls like only 300 minutes a month and you could call back to back. His calls are fifteen mintues I think he called me back over and over for like 3 hours. It was like we had known each other forever. That was in June of 2000. We have had our rough spots but we are still together and going strong. I told him the day I met him my life was changed forever. This year we will celebrate our 6th anniversary and next year he will come home finally. Just before Valentine's Day I couldn't think of a better gift. :) :heart: :)

Well, I stumbled upon this page about a month ago and i've been reading and making posts here every now and then, so I decided it's time for a proper introduction! :p

I met my boyfriend, Marty, last August while I was in the visiting room visiting my best friend's fiancee. We were sitting there talking, and in walked this GOREGOUS man.. I asked "Oh my god, Darren.. Who is that?!" He told me.. oh.. that's just Marty. I was like.. JUST?!? WHAT?! lol.. Anyway.. he asked me if I wanted him to hook me up.. At first, I was really really skeptical. I just got out of a 5 yr relationship with my ex fiancee.. and the last place I ever wanted to meet someone was in PRISON. lol.. yeah, how do you explain THAT one to your family and friends.. heh.. :confused: Anyway.. after staring at his beautiful face all day long while he visited with his family, I decided, why not.. I'll write him and get to know him. I guess my stares were obvious enough, not to mention my giddy school girl giggles every time my best friend and her man cracked a joke about me wanting to meet him. He came over after his family left and sat at the table behind us.. My best friend started talking to him, and I was HORRIFIED. I was sure she was going to say something to him about me, so I just started hitting her arm, begging her to shut up. lol..

Anyway.. We started writing back and forth, and within only a few days I had him calling me 5x a day which got EXPENSIVE!! :P Due to me being on someone elses visiting list already, I had to wait 3 months until I could visit him. Those were the longest 3 months of my LIFE! Now that I look back on it.. I'm so glad that we had those 3 months to get to know each other better, because when the time did come for us to really meet again.. it was WONDERFUL! :D

He's been in for 12 1/2 yrs, and we still have another 12 months to go.. I had no idea that such a smart, funny, sexy, good hearted, motivational person existed. He's truly one of the best things that has ever happened to me :D I can't wait until we can start our life together when he gets out.

-Laura-

Hello everyone! I met my wonderful man through a penapal site/ as most of us i wasnt looking for a relationship. MY son was locked up at the time and i read some sites about pen pals for those that had no one. got me to thinking that could be my son one day and i would hope someone would be kind enough to write him. The first time I wrote him it took him a month to recieve it and i thought it was a dud. he wrote me and we were both adamant that it stayed friends only <coff coff> yeah right we blew that theory right out of the water. we finally declared our feelings at the same time and our letters crossed each other and we both got the i love you letter about the same time. gotta love that karma lol. We take one day at a time. in no rush for anything. he is a lifer with no parole and quite a few hours of flight time between us. He is also in the hole and waiting on his transfer to a SHU so no calls or contact visits for quite some time. but as long as we have our pen and paper nothing can take it away from us.

hello i am new to the pto my bf is currently at upstate he was at the adirondack and got into a fight so he got 90 days in the box i knew him before his sister and my sister were best friends and i babysit one of his nephew last august for his nephews birthday party i saw him for the first time in years i knew little of his troubled past we talked really well played water balloon fight he tried to get my daughter comfortable with him few days later i saw him again for the last firework show at some lake and i called out his name because i had his nephew with me he started to ask me all questions and i was still with my kids father at the time so i didnt do anything he had been at the adirondack since nov and when my kids father left me i decided to write to him in feb asking him why he did what he did that night and i told him how i had a crush on him he is really hot few days later i got his letter and we started to write back and forth i had his sister bring me up to adirondack so i could visit him and since then i have been going up every sunday either alone or with my kids i have two kids by another guy and they adore him and he adores my kids as well since he got transferred to upstate last sunday was the first time i didnt see him and i miss him so much but i do plan on going up to see him this sunday even though it will be another half hour drive i certainly dont mind i cant go without not seeing him at least once a week he used to call three times a week to talk to my kids since i am deaf and writes to me all the time now he is at upstate my visit would be soooo different since it is non contact visit but it is ok because at least i get to see him he is supposed to get out in august so there isnt much time left i cant wait to start a "real" relationship with him

hello everyone,

I am new to this site and would love to become part of your group. First I would love to Share my expirience. I met my hunnie Jermaine in late Feb o 2006. One night bored and loney and nosey I decided to look or online pen pals, but whenI typed pen pal and hit search the first couple of links were for prison pals. I looked through maybe hundreds but paid particually more attention to those based in South Florida. That is when Jermaine's ad came up and I was captivated by his highly motivated spirit despite his incarceration. he is attractive and wow what a bod, his mind seemed matured. I emailed him and in his prison they give it to him on mail day. A few weeks later he responded and now we corresponde daily. Last week I offered to repleniosh his monetary account for phone use, and mail use. he called me the very same day his money came in. I think I am falling for him, but I am scared too, he has a littl less than 3 years to go.........:idea: I am open to any feedback and open to new friends.


Vivian:)

good luck !

I met my love through a friend that he was locked up with, that was 4 years ago. At this point I don't know what I would do without him and his love. We did have a rough patch through these 4 years but we are over that and are happy now. I also have a friend that I met through one of the pen pal websites when me and my man were going through our rough patch. He is in Federal Prison in PA. I would love to go see him because he has always been there for me, we are like best friends now.:p

Hello there, I was directed to this forum from someone who replied a question from another PTO because I had a question about my new penpal - this is super :) I've met my penpal and am not 100% sure what made me choose HIS ad over all the others (only wrote to him from that site) - but it's surely been a blessing for both of us !! I know I've been hesitant because of the distance between us - but at the same time, I can't ignore the simple fact that we've connected so well in a short time - 2 1/2 months so far. He's SUCH a sweet person and we're both taking everything slowly because it's been a long time since either of us were in any kind of relationship - who can say what will happen, but he definitely wants a relationship and I do as well. I think what "sealed the deal" (as far as me deciding to say YES about being a couple) was that he told me in a letter he made extra effort to write me every day because I was feeling sick and crappy and wanted to cheer me up :) I almost cried - I thought it was SUCH a sweet thing to do :) We'll see what happens... :)

I'm fairly new to the whole thing, but I've gotten close to my pen pal. I met him about 5 months ago on a pen pal website. We have connected so well together. I didn't think I'd met someone as sweet as him, but I did. Even though we have been writing for a short period of time, I think we have something special between us. After he gets his final time cut, he'll have 6 months or so left to go on a 9 year sentence. We have talked about becoming more but we haven't made any promises about what's to be yet. But I think that's the way I want to go with us. He's never gave me a reason to doubt or not trust him in any way. I've started visiting him on May 5 and the Friday after that. So, I'm hoping for the best between us.

hi

i am maria and i am here for a while reading and get information.but i have never introduced myself
i am 27 and my fiance is in hdsp. i have met him true a pen pall site.
on year ago. and i have to say i really love him.
i come from the netherlands so maybe my englisch is not that good but now you understand where i come from.
i got a lot of questions but i whil ask them later.

WELCOME to each and everyone of you. I am sure you will find the Met While Incarcerated family to be a friendly and informative one. I hope to get to know all of you better in the days ahead. Thank you for joining us, the more the merrier!!!

All the best,
Patty

thank you and i am sure i will like it here.

Hi everyone

I am new to this site, just board and browsing the web and I happened upon this site and thought it would be cool to join. Well I'll try to be as brief as I can, me and my man now of going on a little over 3 years meet while he was still in county jail. We meet through a friend, actually my friend's boyfriend was cell mates with my now boyfriend. At first when my friend told me that her boyfriend had been telling his cell mate about me and he was interested and wanted me to write him I was extremely scepticle. I just gotten out of a relationship (if that's what you want to call it) with someone who had just gotten out and while he was locked up he was trying to fill my head with all that jail talk and when he got out he never lived up to any of the promises and things he told me he would do, so running into this similar situation didn't give me a good feeling at all I told my girl no maam you can miss me on that, thinking to myself why is it that I keep having run in's with jail birds. A few weeks had past since she mentioned it and one day she called me at home with her boyfriend on 3-way telling me that he told his friend all about me and he was really interested, and he was standing right beside him and wanted to take down my address so he could write me, I was put on the spot and before I could dispute the phone was passed and the sexiest voice was on the other end and all could do was say ok here is my address and from that point on it's been history. When I got his first letter he was telling me about his self and also mentioning all the things that he was told about me from my friend's boyfriend and how he was really wanted to meet me, when I wrote back I was honest with him about my recent experience and was not at all looking for a serious relationship, just wanted to have that someone I could talk to and he seemed like he needed the same so I wanted to keep it strictly on a friend level and we would see how things went when he got out. A few months went by and I wrote and sent pictures, he put me on his visitation list and we talked about his plans for his life when he got out. I knew what he was there for but from what he told me he said that he was innocent and so called friends of his were trying to put a crime that they committed on him, at the time I really wasn't aware of the seriousness of the charges he was up against and thought he would be out in a few months, and from the impression he was giving me I assumed he was thinking the same way, until his case came up and when I went to see him that day I was stressed about some other stuff and thought that seeing him would make me feel better until he told me that he took a deal and would have to serv 10 years, it was then that I realized that my feelings had evovled and he was more than just a friend I had strong feelings for him and was devastated that we wouldn't be together as soon as I had hoped, since I had just been treating him as a friend I didn't want him to see my true feelings so I ended the visit and told him I had to go. I cried all the way home, my emotions were going crazy, I didn't really know what to think, I kept telling myself that I was trippen because he was just a friend this wasn't suppose to get serious. I wrote him and told him how sorry I was about his situation and I came out and told him the real reason I had to leave was because I didn't want hime to see me cry, I told him to not think that just because I knew he got all that time I would abandon him, when they shipped him to prison I would still keep in touch and come visit him every once in a while and we agreed to maintain a causual relationship. I guess both of our feelings became too overwhelming and he came out and told me that he really cared about me and was thinking that it was love but wasn't sure because of the way we meet if it was possible and he asked me to be his girl, I wrote him and told him that even though I had feelings for him, given his time, I wasn't sure if it was realistic or if I was willing to make that committment I had just turned 20 and didn't know if I would be willing to put my life on hold, I didn't tell him no, I told him I needed time to think about it. It took me 6 months after he was shipped off to a prison about an hour away for me to finally realize that I wanted to be with him and ever since then it's been official. I have meet just about his whole family and they consider me apart of the family his mother calls me her daughter in law and there isn't a family function that goes by that they don't call to invite me to, I talk to his grandmother at least every other week and when we end our phone call she always tells me she loves me. I've always told him that 10 years is a long time and I don't even know if we will be the same people we are now that we are at 30 but we take it one day at a time and I just keep finding that I love him more and more as each day goes by. Last November about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving a member of the Parole Board visited him and told him that the max time he would have to do is 5 years since he has already done 3 that means at most he only has 2 more, I'm getting mixed messages because when I researched his charge online, By GA Law once sentenced you have to serve your full sentence without any chance of parole but I'm praying what he was told is true and we can finally be together in 2 years.

Well I guess I didn't do a great job of keeping this brief hit me up sometimes you guys.

C-lover, welcome. Don't ever worry about the length of a post. We're here to listen and support.

Hello everyone! I am sooooo happy I found this site! I have been through so much over the past year and needed something like this so bad. Thank you God! I'm sitting here boo-hooing like a baby right now because I finally have someone to talk to, I hope. I don't really know what the "rules" are or how exactly this all works, but I am certainly willing to find out. I saw another "section" on "husbands/boyfriends in prison" or something like that and then I saw the "met while incarcerated" subject and began reading. Like the other person above, I don't mean to be long-winded, but man I need to vent! I worked in a state prison in the medical dept for several years and never once thought I would end up falling in love with an inmate. Don't mean to sound harsh, but it was very much against the rules and never crossed my mind. I guess I'll share our "love story" later for brevity's sake. I had to resign my position, needless to say. He was transferred to another facility and I finally found out how to reach him and we began writing. We were not allowed phone calls until about 6 months ago. I am still not allowed to visit. He is up for parole in a couple years. I found this site looking for information to contact the group Fairness for Prisoners' Families in hopes to see what, if any, avenues I had to be allowed to visit him. I am so happy I found you!:) This man truly is the love of my life. I wasn't looking and never expected it. He calls me Precious, thus my "name".

my name is michelle and i met my man jesus through an ex boyfriend of mine three years ago. we just started going out in january. he has four more years left. he gets out on may 8, 2010. hes going to try to get out on parole so we can be together. he broke up with me last month and i was crushed but the his mom talked to him and told him that if he really loved me then he would fix it and he asked me to marry him and i said yes. so now we are getting married when he gets out. i have never been happier then i am now. i cant wait till he gets out.

Hello to everyone! I am new to this and have been checking out the different forums. I was happy to find this one! :D I met my "sweetie" through a penpal site when I was on there checking out my brothers' ad to see how many hits he had received. For some strange reason when I kept trying to pull up my brother it kept directing me to a picture of a very handsome young man with a beautiful smile that made me do a double take! (U GOTTA LOVE YOUR COMPUTER!) I tried probably three times and finally I took a second to read his ad then I left the website all together. Needless to say I could not get that smile out of my head..........Later I went back to the website wrote down the info and TOOK A CHANCE! I don't know that I was "looking" for anything in a sense but SOMETHING drew me to this person and when pen met paper the words started flowing so naturally like I was writing someone I'd known for years. I didn't receive his response right away and later learned that he was taken by surprise first for receiving a letter and second by the sincerity that came across to him in the letter. That was almost six months ago and we've written each other at least 2-3 times a week (sometimes more) ever since. We talk as often as possible (as he is allowed) and our conversations have been beautiful and very comfortable. I never felt any discomfort about the idea probably because my brother has been incarcerated for 8 years in a federal prison and I would never want anyone to judge him based on that situation (if that makes any sense). I have a strong belief that we are placed in the lives of others (vice versa) for a reason and nothing occurs by happenstance. He says it was "divine intervention"! We have found that we have SO MUCH in common, our interests, likes/dislikes, dreams and desires etc..etc.. Our feelings for each other came about so naturally and we both feel very good about EVERYTHING now and in the future. I'm usually not one to "fall in love" but I can't help but to love and adore this man!!!! He has served 10 years of a long sentence (I'm not going to claim it!) and will hopefully have things worked out in our favor real soon! I will travel almost 10 hrs. for my first visit real soon and I'm excited and nervous! But, I know everything will be alright! I'm very glad to have found this forum and I've enjoyed the "family" atmosphere. I look forward to this new experience!:)

hi there my name is samantha! like mscrystal above me i am in the same type of situation, i met anthony through his father he is a friend of my aunt, he told me about his son and the situation he was in, and being the person i am and the life i lived i felt for him, so i started writing, it was a little ackward at first bc we didnt knwo eachother, and i had never written to anyone before......but as the letters started coming more and began to get longer and longer, i fell for this man, we have so much in common and come from the same background that its a trip, like we were made for eachother, everyone thinks i am crazy, thats why i am glad to find you ladies, your there for me and i am for you, and thats definetly something that feels really good, its hard to talk to people out here cuz unless they are in the same situation they dont know where you are coming from..... so thanks, it feels good to finally be able to talk about my true feelings for anthony......i love this man, and cant wait for him to be home with me, i have never met him face to face either, that is until tomorrow, i am flying out to california to go visit for the first time, im soooo excited. I have pictues of him and him of me, but to fell him, hold him, kiss him, i c