Oh what have I done
Hello all I am beag dilis
I started on this Journey writing to a DR inmate in san quentin about a month ago I wrote him and told him the circumstances of why I was and all I wanted and needed was just a friend that I would listen to him laugh with him and cry with him I did not expect to write to him more than a couple times a week as I am very painfully shy in person with people I expected to be the same writing to someone I didnt even know especially a man as I am uncomfortable around many men Well I got his first 2 letters on the same day and well I dont know how else to say it but I was HOOKED??I wrote him right away then after I would get that letter sent I would think of more I wanted to tell him and again and again and I got 2 more letters from him almost sounded like pleading to me to write to him as he hadnt gotten my next letters I write every day and I think I am losing my mind I am a mature woman married for 14 years only married once but soon to get a divorce because husband is cheating with hookers in Iraq and I think,no I know I am falling in love with this man and it is tearing me apart he told me in one of his first letters that he is incapable of falling in love or trusting due to something that happened to him as a child and I know that was his way of telling me he didnt want to have a romance either but he is now signing his letters from my heart your and his name it is tearing me apart I dont know what to think please someone help me...........beag dilis

Do you even know him in person?... Well first of all I think you should get your self together before you go out and create emotions for someone you dont even known.. dont get me wrong, but having a relationship behind walls is not easy. Take time and just be his friend before you get involved in romantic relationship and listen.. But dont ride on emotions.. good luck to you



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http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif Oh what have I done
Hello all I am beag dilis
I started on this Journey writing to a DR inmate in san quentin about a month ago I wrote him and told him the circumstances of why I was and all I wanted and needed was just a friend that I would listen to him laugh with him and cry with him I did not expect to write to him more than a couple times a week as I am very painfully shy in person with people I expected to be the same writing to someone I didnt even know especially a man as I am uncomfortable around many men Well I got his first 2 letters on the same day and well I dont know how else to say it but I was HOOKED??I wrote him right away then after I would get that letter sent I would think of more I wanted to tell him and again and again and I got 2 more letters from him almost sounded like pleading to me to write to him as he hadnt gotten my next letters I write every day and I think I am losing my mind I am a mature woman married for 14 years only married once but soon to get a divorce because husband is cheating with hookers in Iraq and I think,no I know I am falling in love with this man and it is tearing me apart he told me in one of his first letters that he is incapable of falling in love or trusting due to something that happened to him as a child and I know that was his way of telling me he didnt want to have a romance either but he is now signing his letters from my heart your and his name it is tearing me apart I dont know what to think please someone help me...........beag dilis

I can't offer much advice except for take it SLOW,just be his friend.If it was meant to be it will be eventually

I wish you the best

Things happen in good time. You might be hurting becuase of what is going on in your marriage, take it slow, you don't want a rebound realtionship, and you don't need to get hurt either. Loving a lifer is Hard!!!! But loving a man on Death Row is even harder, before you fall head over heal, make sure you are strong enough first. But what ever you decide to do I wish you all the best

I feal ya girl! same here.... he has 13 years left!

Things happen in good time. You might be hurting becuase of what is going on in your marriage, take it slow, you don't want a rebound realtionship, and you don't need to get hurt either. Loving a lifer is Hard!!!! But loving a man on Death Row is even harder, before you fall head over heal, make sure you are strong enough first. But what ever you decide to do I wish you all the best

Graet minds think alike.lol I don't want to put a damper on you warm feeling for this man but I'm asuming you are still very hurt over what your husband is doing in your marraige and I'm affraid you might not be seeing things clearly and a rebound relationship on the streets is not a good thing but a inmate you reaaly need to think about slowing down and think this through. I only want what is truely best for you. My husband is in for only 5 years and I tell you it isn'y easy most of the time its very lonely and we love each other and have known each other for years before he went in.

Slow down Beag Dilis!!! This man is giving you attention, that you were probably lacking in your marriage. Dont run with it. Slow down and take your time, that way you will be able to see things a little bit more clearly. You cant build any relationship by going from zero to sixty. Take your time!!

One month isn't long enough. You can't even begin to know someone in a month. Take your time, if it's meant to be it will happen. But falling in love with someone on DR is not going to be an easy life. Take a deep breath and slow down.

Pump your breaks!!!!!!!!!! This man is IN JAIL and has TOLD YOU THAT HE IS NOT CAPABLE OF

falling in love or trusting!

I think just see how it goes. If you arent getting any internal warning cue going off and you click then keep writing as friends. After 14 years of marriage you really should give yourself a year or so to rediscover yourself before getting involved again but that doesnt mean this guy isnt the one.

wow , are u sure it's love ?? or the attention and the flattery ?? the fact that he listens to you , ect ....

can be confusing , take it slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ..

Hi,

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, I can almost say that I understand how you feel. I got hooked with my pen pal real quick too. I didn't let him see that at first out of fear that he would take advantage of me if he knew about my feelings.

But as time went on, I learned to trust him and he trusts me too, he's now my boyfriend and I couldn't be happier. But to be honest with you, we both took it kind of slow, although I knew of my feelings for him like i said before i didn't show them right away. But we are all different, so my best advice for you would be to follow your heart but keep your eyes wide open, good luck and keep us posted!

Rebeca

need an update, hope you are taking it real Slow!

my pal said he didnt want a relationship either since he is a lifer with no parole. but you just cant tell that to a heart that has a mind of its own. i would slow down in your case though. if its love it will stay strong but please be careful and dont rush it. my pal and i love each other ( he finally confessed to me ladies) but we are keeping things at the friends level since are feelings are real fresh right now. we will see how things go but no rush.

Well heres the update as stupid as i feel mark was not the man I thought he was he had told me he had given up on pen paling a long time ago and basically I was his only one and I like a totally trusting teenager I believed him he said all the right things and acted like he knew me well I guess prison gives you time to.Well yesterday I had gotten about 6 letters in the mail from him I was so thrilled after not getting many for the last couple of weeks so I just started ripping them open and reading well on the 3rd letter I was quite confused it sounded like he was talking to someone else eventhough it had the little name he calls me (my little handfull)well I kept reading and it was to someone else I looked down to look at the envelope and the letter really wasnt to me it was stuck in the middle of all of mine and I had gotten it but it was supposed to go to the U.K. well after I got over the initial hurt I wrote him back with the letter I got for his other pen pal and told him it was nice while it lasted and that I was sending back his letter to his pal in the U.K. so he could send it back to her so he wouldnt be totally without a pal.
Thankyou all for telling be to sit back and wait I had tried and wish I really would have done it better so the hurt wouldnt hurt so bad now I really am to trusting to be writing inmates so I think Mark is the first and last one I'll be writing to.
Beag

Well here I am again and he and I are back together he had called me before he had gotten the letter and asked me why I sounded so down so I told him about what I had gotten he got real quiet for about 30 sec.then said well I'm not going to lie to you or try to weisel out of it I did it and I am sorry please dont leave me I wont write to her again I want you not her I dont know why I did it just when I seem to think I have myself undercontrol and not lieing I do it and I end up screwing up and ruining a great thing.Well he has since gotten ahold of the sites that he is on and asked me to get addresses for the ones he didnt have addresses for and he is taking himself off of the net to show me that I am the one he wants (his words)he asked me for one more chance and he would do right by me so here I am again. Beig

I have no experience with this at all but no matter the siuation, that sounds pretty darn shady to me. Do you think he would not tell the same thing to this other girl if she had been the one to catch him?

You sounded like you were looking for a red flag in the beginning and it looks like you got the biggest one you could possibly get to warn you of a bad situation. I would seriously think about that. Hopefully someone else will come along with some wise words. I know there are many women and men on this site who have been a victim to the same thing. Most like heard the same lines as you.

Good luck to you. I truly hope he treats you as well as you deserve to be.

Erin