I will be the first to admit some of the things I have heard about TC bothers me, but at the same time I do for the most part understand the purpose behind it.

After reading some discussion here lately it has made me realize even more that the best way for us to support our loved ones is understand these programs a little more. The best thing we can do for them is support and encourage the change.

I will be the first to admit that some of the things prison expects from inmates drives me nuts as most people in the free world wouldnt be held to those expectations when it comes to being treated the way they are. I will be the first to admit that for the most part my husband takes things better then I do. It all started to make a little more sense when someone finally gave me a reasonable explanation of why these inmates have the expectations that they do.

They had a chance to live in societly under the same rules and expectations that the rest of us live by and they blew it. Now they are expected to live my higher standards then the rest of us. Not because its a trick, but because they have a lot to prove


As far as the toughness of the programs I think it has a lot to do with acountability and response. We all know that in the real world people are expected to be acountable for every action. The program hold you accountable to your fellow inmates for every thing you do. Its a way to teach you to be responsable for your own actions.

We also know that in the real world there are always going to be things that trigger conflict if we allow that to happen. I think this helps teach people to walk away from conflict or handle issues with discussion.


There are things about the programs that I will probably never like, but the reality of it is most often tough love is the hardest love of all. This is no differant then boot camps around the world. They push and they push hard. They arent for the week, but they test you in every way they can to make sure you really can handle the situations as they come. These TC programs are no differant. They push you to make sure you can handle whatever life gives you.

In the end we are not helping our loved ones if we dont encourage them to push on and when times are tough to hold their tongue or whatever need be. When they get in trouble gently remind them to walk the line next time. We are doing them no favors when we sit back and allow them to give up. Maybe allow isnt the word for it, but watch it happen without supporting them and encouraging them to stick it out.

In the end every single one of us can control what happens to us. Inside or outside of prison. Its up to us to do what is expected of us. We will always have to do things we dont like in the real world and we will always have to deal with people we dont like. We have to learn to make the worst situation the most pleasant for us.


I know that some of what I am saying may be hard to actually do. I happened to be lucky and if my husband is being an ass I could tell him so. I know its not always easy to support the procedures, but try and think of the outcome in the long run.

I am by no means an expert on TC programs, but I do see the point and if anyone wants to talk I am always here.

Okay, I'm gonna jump in with my two cents worth... I completed the TEAM Program at SICI, and in my opinion, it is the best TC in the State of Idaho. TEAM historically has the lowest recidivism rates, and many TEAM Graduates are now funneled through a Community Work Center for three months on their way back home. Lifeline at ICC seems to be run by the inmates, and FRIENDS at ICI-O seems a little too lax to me. While I never attended either of these other programs, I know and have encountered scores of their graduates at Aftercare. I understand that a TC is now up and running at the SBWCC for the ladies; Good Luck to everyone there...
Therapeutic Communities are effective because they create a pro-social environment where residents are responsible for helping other residents examine their behavior and develop skills needed to succeed and remain clean and sober in a non-incarcerated life. If I learned nothing else in the TEAM Program, I learned that people who lead disfunctional lives can NOT examine their own behavior and make positive changes. We need the help of others. I find it interesting that some have said TCs are demeaning and humiliating. If you are not already totally humiliated by the fact that you are in prison while your family is out; if you are not demeaned by the knowledge that you are rotting in prison while someone else is raising your children, then you have no shame. I never had to cluck like a chicken while I was in TC, but I did dance like Elvis... I did Moonwalk like MJ... I remember once having to Tap Dance like Bo Jangles. I sang; did celebrity impressions; put on skits and played games....Everyone did. And if someone had suggested that I cluck like a chicken I would have...I would have clucked louder and longer than enyone else. These are called image breakers and they are done in good fun by everyone in the program. They are meant to help break down the narcisistic self image that many of us have... Nothing could possibly have embarassed me than standing in front of everyone and telling them how I had alienated my family; screwed over my friends; stolen from my loved ones and pretty much ruined my life. If you have any influence in your loved one's life, please encourage them to enroll in and complete a TC Program. They are not perfect. There are people who do re-offend. But I believe, truely, that no one can complete this program and not benefit from it.

I think you put into cery clear terms what the hidden meaning to some of these techniques are. I think its very important to understand some of how the programs work. I will admit when I first heard about clucking like a chicken I thought "how humiliating and mean to make someone do that". I personally would have felt humiliated so its easy for me to think in the mode of that is cruel. Even worse then being humiliated is being humiliated in front of so many people. At the same time the more I learn about these programs the more I understand them.

I really think the key to supporting the inmates is helping the loved ones understand these tools have a purpose rather then humiliation. That way rather it be a husband/boyfriend/son or anyone else when they complain about this or that its easier to help them understand the purpose of what happened. Not only that, but when out loved ones come to us and say "they were so mean and made me humiliate myself in front of all those other inmates" we tend to get defensive and feel sorry for them because we see it as humiliation and dont fully understand it. Its no differant then when our children come home and say "Sally and Frank were laughing at me in front of all the kids". We tend to feel bad for them. I think its natural to feel that way when its someone close to you, but once we understand the reasons why certain things happen the way we do its easier to rationalize it.

Quite honestly I wish they offered programs for the loved ones of offenders. Kind of like they have AA or NA for the family living with those people. Understanding and supporting offenders takes a lot of work and patience. I believe that understanding them and their issues as well as the treatments will help us better support them and in turn them having the best support they can have will help them even more. Its a chain reaction all the way around.

Well, I can say that when I first wrote about the program I was really confussed. I couldn't understand why they would want to have people go through everything that I had heard. But then I read more and learned more about it, then came and read what was written in here...and I do have to say I understand. I was just really upset. I remember reading that he could try again in 30 days...is that true? If so, is it harder to get back in the second time around. Right now I'm just really sad and having a really hard time. I know it's his choice to either go through it or not...but now can I tell him how I really feel about the whole thing without him taking what I'm saying wrong. I need him home. If he went through that program he would be home when our daughter turns just one...but if he tops his time, that will be when she is almost 3. I don't know if I can take that...it's hard enough without him.

Thank you both so much for your kind words. I know I come off as a little "preachy," but it is only because I have witnessed, first hand, the changes TCs have helped to make in myself and others. Please be supportive of your loved ones both inside and outside of prison...

Well, I can say that when I first wrote about the program I was really confussed. I couldn't understand why they would want to have people go through everything that I had heard. But then I read more and learned more about it, then came and read what was written in here...and I do have to say I understand.
That is exactly what I was hoping when I posted this thread. Having a clear understanding to treatment of any kind will help you better help him. In the end that will help him become successful