Just saying hello [Archive]

~cheenna~

06-01-2002, 06:55 PM

Hi All, just signed up so thought I better introduce myself. Have beening reading several of the post, thank God, it's good to know you're not alone! A few weeks ago my Son was sent to TDC in Palestine after 4 months in county jail. This is not his first time to be incarcerated but how this came about is so very hard to bear. Barely 17, he was charged with burg./habitat, given 10 yrs adjudicated probation, about a yr. later he was charged with robbery, over a pair of tennis shoes, soooo stupid! With all this "mischief" he did managed to graduate. Before his case came to trial his bond was revoked... he just didn't see the need to check-in or make payments on same! Prior to this time I had to put he out of our home so was not aware he was in jail the 1st month or so. After several months in county jail he was given 9 months in a TDC alcohol and substance abuse facility, still maintaining his adjudicated standing. In the begining through sleepless nights and tear blinded days I wondered if my Son would ever get his life together but I was standing by him, none the less. After about 4 1/2 months in the TDC facility, a truely miraculous transformation began to take place, by the time he was released to come home from the 1/2way house 16!/2 months later he had made a complete turn around. I was/am so proud of him.! In January he relapsed, smoking a little pot and drank a beer and knowing this could ONLY lead to trouble HE TOLD his 1st P.O. what he had done and he asked if he could return to the 1/2way house for further counceling/coping skills, it was agreed to. Two weeks later when he reported to his 2nd P.O. with bags packed and arrangements made, he related the same to him, my Son was immediately arrested and 3 months later sentenced to 5 years in TDC. And of course he has lost the adjudicated standing, with it, all his goals, hopes and dreams of military special forces and teaching. Why would he do something so foolish as to relapse... when my Son was very young a "family friend" molested him. He was about 14 when I bacame aware of it but my Son was in denial, refusing to deal with it inspite of counceling but while in alcohol/drug facility he began to heal and filed charges on his molester. In January when the media became flooded with all the news of the dispictable crimes of the Catholic priests, everyone was asking my Son, knowing we are Catholic, his opinion or making jokes, not knowing he had been molested and it was just more than he could bear! I'll add here... after his molester's arrest in Aug. the local DA arbitrarily dropped the charges without taking it before the Grand Jury, so this child molester is free to continue to spread his pain and misery. I just don't understand/accept this has happened... had my Son commited another robbery... yes, lock him up, God help him, he would deserve it! But to be honest, ask for help and recieve this... this isn't justice. And no one will ever convince me otherwise. The various stages that Soraya listed are so true... my Son, I think, is in stage 3, I am in a combination of anger and depression. One might think it would be easier since he had been locked up before... it's not! Thank you for this venue to vent, knowing some days I will cry, laugh, scream or pray with you but most of all, I'll know I am among those who understand. May God bless you and give us all the grace to get through this.